General News

If you think online dating is the domain of the young, think again.

IBISWorld and the U.S. Census Bureau estimate that approximately 37% of men and women over 50 are unmarried. With so many people entering their later years unattached, and more and more older Americans becoming comfortable using the Internet, turning to cyberspace has become an increasingly popular option for senior singles.

The percentage of over-55s logging on for love has increased 39% in the last 3 years according to Experian Hitwise, a leading Internet research firm. Singles in the 55+ age bracket are now visiting dating sites more than any other age group, with the #2 spot currently being occupied by singles aged 45-54.

Online dating has proved to be a major advantage for many older singles. Niche dating sites like SilverSingles and SeniorPeopleMeet go above and beyond the offerings of other dating sites by helping members navigate the brave new world of senior dating. Some stress the importance of safety when dating online, some offer tutorials on creating an online dating profile, and others post articles with tips for those who have taken an extended leave of absence from the dating game.

Their work has paid off - some experts even believe that online dating has more potential for older singles than younger singles, citing their superior knowledge of what they're looking for in a partner as the primary source of their success. Younger singles are often focused on marriage and children while older singles, many of whom have been married before and have learned from the mistakes of past relationships, take a more logical approach to dating that focuses on shared interests and long-term compatibility.

For silver surfers looking to get back into the dating game, love gurus offer the following advice:

• Take as much time as you need to recover from a previous relationship, but don't feel that there is a predetermined mourning period that must be observed following a divorce or breakup. Move on whenever you feel ready to explore something new.

• Reflect on what you've learned from your relationships so far. What went wrong? What went right? What do you want? What don't you want? What knowledge can you take into your next relationship that will make it the best one yet?

• Look to the future and think positively. Don't dwell on the past or get caught up in the quicksand of negativity.

• Make the first move. Finding a match online requires a proactive plan of attack, not a passive approach. Don't wait to get lucky - make love come to you.

Online daters are more likely to be honest about their late-in-life-Elvis figures than their political leanings, new research says.

The study, called "Do bedroom eyes wear political gl*censored*es? The role of politics in human mate attraction," was conducted by Casey Klofstad, an *censored*ociate professor of political science at the University of Miami, Rose McDermott, a professor from the Department of Political Science at Brown University, and Peter K. Hatemi, a genetic epidemiologist at Penn State University. Studies have shown that approximately 7 out of 10 couples have shared political preferences - but what percentage of those couples used their political leanings to attract their partners in the first place?

Almost none, according to the team's findings. To investigate the role - if any - that politics plays in bringing singles together online, Klofstad and his co-researchers gathered data from 2,944 profiles selected at random from a popular, but unidentified, free online dating website. To their surprise, they found that only 14% of online daters listed "political interests" on their profiles - noticeably less than the 17% of singles who referred to themselves as "heavyset," "stocky," or carrying "a few extra pounds" on their profiles. Politics ranked 23rd out of 27 categories considered topics of interest by singles, slightly above "book club" and just below "video games."

Other findings from the study include:

• Women are 8% less likely to report being interested in politics than men.

• Singles with higher incomes and higher education levels are more likely to list politics as an interest.

• Online daters with higher education levels and older singles are more likely to express a clear political preference, often at a far end of the liberal-conservative spectrum.

One potential explanation for these findings, the study says, is that politics is a highly controversial topic to discuss during the initial stages of the dating process. "The costs of displaying political affiliation are potentially high at this point," write the authors, "because when people do not share the same political attitudes, strangers view them in a less positive way, have less warm feelings toward them and base future views of them through this less positive lens."

Though singles may be reluctant to divulge their political preferences online, other research has shown that spouses share political views more than any other trait except religious affiliation, making them a vital tool for choosing an appropriate long-term mate.

"At some point in the dating process we somehow filter out people who do not share our political preferences," says Klofstad. "Our best guess is that in the short-run most people want to cast as wide a net as possible when dating. However, in the long-run shared political preferences become a critical foundation of lasting relationships, despite the fact that many Americans are not even interested in politics."

Zoosk's countdown of the top 10 biggest dating pet peeves began with texting, tardiness, talking about your ex, and turning things physical too quickly. What else do daters want to vent about during National Pet Peeve Week?

Let's check out pet peeves 6-10:

Not paying attention: If you're not paying attention to someone, it sends them the message that you're not really interested in them. If you're genuinely not interested in getting to know them, it might be time to rethink your dating strategy. If you are, you're sending all the wrong signals. Put your active listening skills to good use when your date is talking and ask thoughtful questions to show that you're engaged and paying attention. Then contribute to the conversation when it's your turn to do the talking and make an honest effort to get to know your date.

Bad table manners: Miss Manners is right - a little good etiquette goes a very long way. A date should take your breath away, not your appetite. Chew with your mouth closed like your mother taught you. Use your utensils rather than your hands, don't pick at your teeth, and remember that your palm is not an acceptable substitute for a napkin. Observe proper hygiene procedures pre-date, and show up showered, groomed, and smelling your most enticing.

Getting drunk: Elliot has a serious pet peeve - "I think the worst thing pet peeve on a date is when you go to a nice restaurant with someone 'special', and they get unbelievably drunk, take off all their clothes and start dancing around with spaghetti on their head!" Sounds like solid advice to me. Your head should be clear when you're meeting someone, especially if it's a first date. Ability to start a raging bar fight or have a breakdown in the bathroom are not generally sought-after qualities in a date.

Negativity: Negativity is a major attraction killer for both men and women. Your date wants to be surrounded by positive, uplifting people, not someone who brings the mood crashing down around them, so check your negative attitude at the door. Steer clear of depressing or heated topics like death, politics, illness, and religion, and focus on lighter fare like hobbies and favorite movies. If you find yourself in a negative hole that you can't find your way out of, take Latin's advice and reschedule: "I understand you may had a bad day at work. Yet, if your gonna be in a bad mood on a date, then don't go on the date. I rather wait and have you when your cheerful and in a good mood."

Not even pretending to reach for your wallet: For many people it's just the thought that counts, but offering to go dutch is a polite gesture whether or not your offer is accepted. Reaching for the bill shows that you're not spoiled or entitled, and tells your date that you truly appreciate when you're treated to a meal.

Talking about marriage and kids: Unless you already have children, kids and marriage are not appropriate conversation topics on a first date. Starting a major discussion about the future of the relationship sets unreasonable expectations and is a huge turn off.

For more on this online dating service you can read our Zoosk review.

An article from Canoe took a look at online dating statistics in Canada.

From a cross-Canada survey conducted by Leger Marketing, they concluded the following points:

• 25 percent of Canadians have tried online dating. The percentage rises to 36 percent if you look at people between the ages of 18 and 34 (much higher than in 2009)
• Still, the majority of people do not plan to try online dating as 69 percent of them said that it is not likely they could find love online
• 64 percent of singles using online dating say that common interests is the most important factor when looking for a match
• 49 percent of singles using online dating say that physical characteristics from photos and videos is the most important factor when choosing a match
• 39 percent of all the Canadians surveyed said that they actually read over all of the information provided in a dating profile

Online dating has seen a huge increase in popularity in the last few years in Canada and the rest of the world. According to the Canadian owned dating site Plenty Of Fish, they have seen a 40 percent increase in memberships over the last 2 years. Plenty Of Fish currently has 33 million registered users from around the world.

The second week of October is National Pet Peeve Week, that special time of year when friends and family gather together to get on each others' nerves. To celebrate the occasion, San Francisco-based dating site Zoosk asked its members to reveal their biggest dating pet peeves.

The top 10 responses they received were:

Texting: The most common pet peeve, hands down, was excessive cell phone use during a date. Unless it's an emergency, your phone belongs in your pocket or purse until the date is over. Dating is all about getting to know someone new, which you can't do if your focus is on your mobile device instead of your date. Be present and engaged, mind your manners, make a good first impression, and only check your phone when you excuse yourself to use the bathroom.

Lateness: Being late is rude and obnoxious in any context, but exponentially more annoying on a date. Being late to meet someone sends the message that you're not really interested in them after all, and that you're selfish when it comes to your relationships with other people. If you find yourself running late, give your date as much of a heads up as possible.

Discussing the ex: Zoosk user Marty puts it best - "I also hate it when a girl talks about her ex to me on a first date... I mean, come on! It's not like us boys are all connected in some way. We don't have a network that runs between us all. If you want to talk about someone else, at least make it someone we both know." Talking about your ex, as the Zoosk blog notes, makes your current date feel unpleasantly "un" - uncomfortable, unworthy, and unwanted. The past belongs in the past - focus on the future, let go of any negativity, and don't approach new relationships with the baggage left over from old relationships.

Turning it physical: There's nothing wrong with casual relationships - unless one date is looking for a hookup, and one date is looking for something more serious. For relationship-minded singles, taking things too quickly can be off-putting and disastrous. "My biggest peeve would have to be being expected to jump into bed with someone I just met.," says Zoosk member MagicBandit. "If you think about it, if they are prepared to have sex with you after just meeting you, would you really think you're the only one? I want to get to know the person first."

Stay tuned for the rest of the countdown...

For more on the dating site mentioned here you can check out our review of Zoosk.com.

Chemistry.com is have a free weekend promotion starting tomorrow. From Friday, October 15 to the end of day on Sunday, October 17 all members of Chemistry will be able to flirt, communicate and connect for free.

Chemistry will be advertising this promotion on TV so you can expect this dating service to have many new singles online actively looking for love. All you need to do is sign up as a free member and take the personality test to join in on the fun.

June was when the last free communication weekend was held by Chemistry (see Story). To find out more about this online dating site, please read our review of Chemistry.