Tips

As I mentioned before, you don't get a second chance when it comes to first impressions, so make it count. Women notice the details right away, so guys: it's important to take note of what you may be doing wrong when it comes to attracting members of the opposite sex. It's not always intuitive, and you can't always rely on your male friends to clue you in - they could be wrong!

Following are some things she'll notice about you straight away. Women can judge pretty quickly, so if you can help it, don't give her a chance to get it all wrong.

Hygiene counts. Make sure you take care of your teeth, breath, and any other body odors that might deem you unsuitable for partnering. Women like to know a man takes care of himself and is concerned about his hygiene. Besides, she'll want to see if she'll enjoy kissing you - don't give her a reason to hesitate.

Dress for success. This list isn't all superficial, but your appearance does matter when it comes to dating. If you show up for drinks in a t-shirt and flip flops, she'll assume you really aren't all that serious or considerate of her. Also, don't wear that sweater you bought ten years ago or your favorite white tennis shoes and acid washed jeans. If you need to update your look, there's no time like the present! Grab a friend who can help you shop.

Confidence rules. We've heard this before, but that's because it's true: women like to be with confident men. If you know you're shy, then it's time to practice by playing up your strengths. Are you funny? Are you politically active? Are you successful at your career? Take your strengths and use them to your advantage - talk about what you love, or show off your funny or intellectual side. Whatever floats your boat, a woman is most impressed by your self-confidence. So show her some.

Don't take yourself so seriously. A woman likes to be with someone who can make her laugh, and who can laugh at himself. This also shows a type of confidence - he doesn't have to prove anything to her when he can laugh at himself without worry. So have fun, and don't take dating so seriously.

Pay attention to her. Women like it when a man is focused on her - how she looks, what she says, how she feels. Ask her questions. Don't turn around every time an attractive woman walks by, and don't check your cell phone while she's talking. When you're paying attention to her, it's definitely attractive.

There's never a second chance to make a first impression, so it's best to keep a few things in mind when you're going to a party or meeting a date for the first time. You might think you're coming across as sexy and approachable, but perhaps you don't realize most men would say just the opposite!

Following are some things he'll notice before you even have a chance to ask a question. Not to focus on the superficial, but most guys do make up their minds pretty quickly as to whether or not they find a woman attractive, so pay attention to your behavior, attitude, and look.

Avoid too much make-up. If you're in love with your eyelash extensions and fake nails, you're not doing yourself any favors. Men prefer women to have a more natural look (translation: not high-maintenance). If you're getting all gussied up to get his attention, consider making some changes to tone it down.

Smile. It's not rocket science - if you're not smiling, a man might assume you're sad, bored, or angry, which doesn't make you a good candidate for striking up a conversation. Instead of hanging back and trying to look like you don't care, engage and have a good time. A simple smile works wonders every time.

Eye contact. This goes along with smiling - if you're looking away every time a man tries to get your attention, your sending a signal that you're not interested, even if you're just shy. Have some courage and return the look with a smile so he can feel comfortable approaching.

Don't obsessively check your phone. It's fine to check for text messages if a friend is meeting you somewhere, but if the point is to meet a new guy, why do you want to look busy or occupied with other things? Put your phone away and look around. There's nothing that says "stay away from me" quite like someone constantly texting or checking their emails.

Drop your posse. If you show up to a club with a group of girlfriends, it's very intimidating for any man to walk up to you and start flirting. If you really want to strike up a conversation, leave your pack and order a drink at the bar by yourself. Making yourself approachable is key.

Remember, these are guidelines to help you make a good first impression. The best way to approach someone new is to just be yourself without trying too hard to impress. Let your natural fun side come out - it helps to smile.

Mobile devices are changing the way in which we communicate with others. Texting has become the new norm, which means people are talking to each other less and less. How many times have you made or broken plans with friends over text, without ever speaking a word? So it's time to accept that it's typical to get asked out via text, even though it might seem a bit impersonal.

However, when you're dating, you can't do away with phone calls altogether. After all, you're building a relationship. It's hard to get the nuances of someone's personality purely from a text message, especially when you don't know them well enough yet. Let's just say when I've communicated with dates only through texting, it's led to hurt feelings, misinterpretations, and general disaster. So I've put together a few rules for those of you who like to conduct your personal life through text messages, and why you should consider a more traditional approach sometimes (ahem...occasional talking?).

Start off with a conversation. Especially if you're online dating. Most single women like to know that the person they are potentially meeting for coffee isn't crazy, so a brief phone call in advance is a good idea. Stick to light topics and try to keep it brief. There's no need to ask a lot of questions or talk at length up front - save that for face-to-face time.

Argue over the phone, not over text. If you want to discuss a sensitive subject, or you're angry about something your date posted on Facebook about you, pick up the phone and call. Trying to argue with someone over text is a waste of time and energy, and may not accurately relay your feelings (as opposed to your voice) - leading to more misunderstandings.

Flirt via text. I'm a sucker for flirtatious texts. When you are looking forward to seeing someone again, a flirty text goes a long way to keeping the lines of communication open and chemistry going. Also, it's good to let your date know you had a great time after the date - and this can be done with a simple text message. Then the ball is in his court to ask you out again.

Don't disappear. Ok folks, the disappearing act is getting old already. If you're not interested in seeing someone after a few dates, a simple text saying "thanks, but this isn't my thing" means your date won't spend so much time analyzing why you've disappeared (did you drown, or travel somewhere for work with no Internet access?) - and wondering what she could have done differently. Sometimes you're both interested, and sometimes only one of you is. So have some courage to communicate before you move on. If you've been going out for a while, please use the phone and have a conversation. This shows some respect for the relationship.

Leave the phone out of a date. Don't text when you're on a date, or keep your phone on the table ready to take that important call. Leave work on hold for a couple of hours. Call your friend back. Consideration goes a long way to making a good impression.

It's easy to start your resolutions for the New Year on January 1st, but by the time mid-January hits, you may find your motivation waning in favor of convenience. Work and daily life rituals take priority once the post-holiday determination has worn off. It might be hard to drag yourself to the gym after a hard day at work, or to fix a healthy meal when you'd rather just heat a frozen pizza.

Despite our good intentions, life can interrupt our plans for self-improvement. So instead of beating yourself up for not sticking to your diet or exercise regime, try to hold yourself accountable in a new way. Vow instead to try something new once a day or once a week, depending on how adventurous you are. You'll notice how small changes in yourself can translate to improvement in dating, too. Changing your life starts with taking a few risks - doing things that are outside your comfort zone. What better time to start than the New Year?

Following are some examples to get you inspired and thinking outside of your comfort zone:

Approach new people. Whether you're in line for coffee or at a friend's party, introduce yourself to the person next to you. Even if you aren't attracted to him or her. When you become more comfortable with putting yourself out there and talking to new people, you'll find it gets easier to flirt and network, and you create more dating opportunities.

Ask him out. If you're a woman who prefers that a man ask you out on a date, turn the tables. Ask that cute guy in the cubicle next to you out for a drink. Say hello to the man you see walking his dogs every day when you're jogging, and strike up a conversation. Don't always think of what you "should" be doing, but what potential opportunities are around you that you could be missing. Take a chance.

Go someplace new. If you frequent your neighborhood bar or favorite restaurant searching for dates or interesting people, branch out. Go someplace you've never been. Go alone so that you'll talk to the person at the bar next to you. Don't just settle for the same old places and neighborhoods. Expand your circle.

Try a new hobby. The first time I tried paragliding, I was terrified. But I did it, and it was the most amazing experience - one I would do again in a heartbeat. This may not be for everyone, but there are many other new things you could try - including a cooking class, surfing lessons, or even joining a bowling league. Think of something that's always interested you and try it out. Maybe you won't like it, but maybe you'll find a new passion. There's nothing sexier to a date than having some passion.

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year - office parties, New Year celebrations, and dinners with friends. It's a great time to be social and meet new people, but it's also a time when you can feel more alone than ever if you're single.

Before you start avoiding invitations so you can stay home and hide out the season, safe from Aunt Susie's nosy questions about your love life, remember: this is a time for everyone - including you - to enjoy, regardless of your relationship status. Holidays are about celebrating the relationships we currently have in our lives - friends, family, even pets - rather than thinking about what's missing.

Some tips for having a great single holiday season:

Be grateful. Maybe you love being single for the holidays - more chances to hook up or flirt with co-workers, right? In that case, enjoy your single status and be grateful for the freedom it brings. If you don't enjoy being single, or have just come out of a relationship, take heart. The holidays are a good time to remember everything we do have in our lives. Gather your close friends to go out for a drink. Call your long-lost college buddy to see how she's doing. Tell your brother and sister you love them. Enjoy a delicious meal that you prepared. It's important to remember what we have.

Stay busy. It's easy to get caught up in the commercial hype of Christmas, but this can lead us to feel alone and broke when the day finally arrives. Instead, focus on your friends and family this holiday season. Accept invitations to parties. Make plans for dinner. Grab your girlfriend and go to a spa instead of shopping for gifts for each other. Spend quality time with others.

Volunteer. If you live far from friends and family this holiday season and are unable to join them to celebrate, it can be a lonely time. But it doesn't have to be. Check your local Food Banks, Soup Kitchens, temples and churches for volunteer opportunities. Get out there and help others who are less fortunate - and desperately need your energy and assistance.

Maintain a positive outlook. If you can't stand the thought of another family holiday with your nosy Aunt asking you about your love life, prepare yourself in advance. You know what she'll say, right? So instead of avoiding her or the question, put the inquisition back to her. If she asks who you're dating say, "a lot of people - do you have someone else to set me up with?" and flash your biggest smile. Show them you're happy, dating, and in no rush. This will dispel their desire to "help" you. Remind yourself - a relationship doesn't make a person happy - that comes from inside. So start working on your inner happiness so nobody outside can question it.

The best way to start? Have a positive outlook. If you want things to change, remember they can. But it's up to you to get the ball rolling. Happy holidays!

Some of you might be a little nervous about jumping back in the dating pool, especially if you've been out of it for a while. If you're considering dating again or perhaps have even gotten started, following are some tips to help make it easier and a more enjoyable experience. After all, no matter how long we've been dating, we can all use a little advice from time to time.

Don't bring up the ex. This might seem like a no-brainer, but the worst thing you can do on a date is to talk about what brought you to the singles market in the first place - your ex. When you're meeting someone for the first time, they want to get to know you, not your issues. Don't mistake the two. Leave the topic of your ex off the table, and focus on getting to know each other by asking about interests, careers, hobbies, etc. If your date asks you about your ex or divorce, you can kindly (and in a fun way) steer the topic to something else: "thanks, but I'd rather get to know you."

Start on a clean slate. It's important not to bring your day with you - whether it's stress from work, managing your children (if you have them), or dealing with your ex. Try dressing up, listening to your favorite music, or taking a bubble bath to put you in a happier frame of mind for your date. Attraction doesn't happen if you're preoccupied with other stresses. Remember: dating is a break, so have fun.

Keep the conversation light. There's no need to talk about issues you have with your kids, or work, or even politics or religion. Don't be tempted to overshare, especially if there's a lull in the conversation or if he recently went through a divorce, too. It's better to bond over mutual interests that carry forward and not over anger from the past. Be engaging and focus on learning about each other: that is, your interests, passions, and what makes you get up in the morning. Take it slow, and enjoy.

It's okay to be nervous. Even if you date a lot, it's normal to get nervous before meeting someone. We all like to make a good impression, especially if there's a chance for romance. The key is to take the pressure off yourself. Remember: the first date helps you get to know each other, and nothing more. It's not a deal-breaker or a failure if there isn't mad, passionate chemistry. So just try to enjoy yourself and get a little practice in. That way, you'll be ready when the right one comes along.