Phone Etiquette: What are the New Rules?

Mobile devices are changing the way in which we communicate with others. Texting has become the new norm, which means people are talking to each other less and less. How many times have you made or broken plans with friends over text, without ever speaking a word? So it's time to accept that it's typical to get asked out via text, even though it might seem a bit impersonal.

However, when you're dating, you can't do away with phone calls altogether. After all, you're building a relationship. It's hard to get the nuances of someone's personality purely from a text message, especially when you don't know them well enough yet. Let's just say when I've communicated with dates only through texting, it's led to hurt feelings, misinterpretations, and general disaster. So I've put together a few rules for those of you who like to conduct your personal life through text messages, and why you should consider a more traditional approach sometimes (ahem...occasional talking?).

Start off with a conversation. Especially if you're online dating. Most single women like to know that the person they are potentially meeting for coffee isn't crazy, so a brief phone call in advance is a good idea. Stick to light topics and try to keep it brief. There's no need to ask a lot of questions or talk at length up front - save that for face-to-face time.

Argue over the phone, not over text. If you want to discuss a sensitive subject, or you're angry about something your date posted on Facebook about you, pick up the phone and call. Trying to argue with someone over text is a waste of time and energy, and may not accurately relay your feelings (as opposed to your voice) - leading to more misunderstandings.

Flirt via text. I'm a sucker for flirtatious texts. When you are looking forward to seeing someone again, a flirty text goes a long way to keeping the lines of communication open and chemistry going. Also, it's good to let your date know you had a great time after the date - and this can be done with a simple text message. Then the ball is in his court to ask you out again.

Don't disappear. Ok folks, the disappearing act is getting old already. If you're not interested in seeing someone after a few dates, a simple text saying "thanks, but this isn't my thing" means your date won't spend so much time analyzing why you've disappeared (did you drown, or travel somewhere for work with no Internet access?) - and wondering what she could have done differently. Sometimes you're both interested, and sometimes only one of you is. So have some courage to communicate before you move on. If you've been going out for a while, please use the phone and have a conversation. This shows some respect for the relationship.

Leave the phone out of a date. Don't text when you're on a date, or keep your phone on the table ready to take that important call. Leave work on hold for a couple of hours. Call your friend back. Consideration goes a long way to making a good impression.