Photos

It’s the first thing people see: your online dating profile photos. They are nothing less than your business card and resume and you want to make sure that your potential matches are seeing the best “you” possible. Your smile, your goofy side, you in action during your favorite activities – no matter what the photo shows, it should always show you. But did you know that there are things that your dating profile photos should never show?

Another “date” cropped-out of the picture. I have no doubt that you look stunning in those pictures from the wedding or baseball game you went to with your ex-whomever. Your potential matches want to envision themselves in a picture with you, not try to figure out who’s cropped-out of your pictures.

Your children (if under 18). While they may be the apples of your eye, it is unsafe to have your minor children in your online dating photos. Your photos can allude to the fact that you enjoy family by showing you at the playground or your kids’ sporting events, but no photos of you with your children. People in your life should have to earn your trust prior to being introduced to your most prized companions. Keep them safe by keeping their identities safe. Hundreds of people may look at your profile pictures on any give day, and this puts your children in an unsafe position.

New to the online dating scene? Updating your profile? Looking for new matches in the sea of men? Pictures can make or break your online dating experience. They are not only the first impression your online matches receive – they are the window to your personality! Use these tips when creating or revising your online dating profile – rev-up your profile pictures and rev-up your social life as a result!

Grab a girlfriend and a digital camera. Current pictures are key to a successful online dating experience. Nobody likes the bait and switch, so don’t give any of your dates cause for complaint. Get yourself gorgeous and head out in the earlier morning or later afternoon to your favorite park. Give your girlfriend the camera and have a go! She knows you and knows your personality, so sit on a swing, slide down a slide – whatever your fancy. Make sure she gets shots of your whole body as well as close-ups of you face and smile.

Show a variety of looks. Whether an attorney, freelance writer or nurse, you’re not always in a bridesmaid’s dress from your sister’s wedding or a suit for an appearance in court. Show your potential mates that you’re comfortable looking like you. This doesn’t mean get dressed-up in a cocktail gown if you’re a camping girl at heart. It just means that 10 pictures of you in the same outfit aren’t nearly as powerful as 8 of you with a variety of looks!

Be you. You’re not a twenty-something college coed, but you’re not ready for Shady Acres yet, either. You’re a smart, accomplished and worldly woman, so your pictures should reflect that as well. If your friends refer to you as a complete goof, add some goofy pictures into that profile of yours. Love working with children? Show some pictures of charity work. Whatever your passion, let your pictures say what words cannot: that you’re a mature woman who understands her quirks and embraces them wholeheartedly!

As ladies, we're unhappy with our bodies. We can be honest. There's always that one spot that drives us nuts, no matter how thin or toned we get. However, this is no excuse for camera trickery in your online dating profile. Let the following be a warning rather than a guide:

The Old Picture
We all have the old picture where we looked GREAT! If you don't look like that anymore (be honest!) then you shouldn't have it up in your profile. This goes double if you've gained more than 10 pounds since the picture was taken. Keep those photos for your Facebook - show the current you in your profile.

The Photo From Above
So you're taking current pictures and you've realized that your double chin disappears if you do a self-portrait looking UP at the camera. That's great, but how often are you going to be looking at your date from that angle? Oh what? Never? Ditch the clever photo and own up to how you look from a realistic angle.

CheckedProfile.com is a new service designed to allow people to have their photo's and email address verified. They soon plan to have 5 levels of verification which will allow people to verify Name, Age, Country, Phone, Address and Net Worth. Only the first level is available now and prices range from free to $99.99 USD for all levels of service. CheckedProfile is aimed at people who use dating sites and social networks. The problem of profile and photo dishonesty is not new and there are already several other companies offering similar services which we have talked about before (see Story).

The way CheckedProfile works (at least for the level 1 photo verification) is you create an account an upload the photo you want verified. The service then gives you a custom alphanumeric code which is unique to your picture. You then need to put the code on a piece of paper and take a picture of yourself holding the paper. This new photo then is uploaded to CheckedProfile. Once verified (by an actual person) you will then get your original photo back with a verified stamp integrated into it along with a code. People interested in you, can now visit CheckedProfile.com to type in the code from the photo to verify that the photo has indeed been verified (along with any other information).

As with most of these type of services there are a few holes in the verification process that if people wanted to, they could circumvent. For one thing, a scammer could just steal someone else's photo that already has been verified and pass it off as his own. A scammer could also mock up a photo with the verified information, it may not pass the test when someone checks it on the website but I bet not everyone will understand that they need to do this. The last problem I see is, someone could just get their good looking friend to do the process for them. While CheckedProfile's verification process is not 100 percent it is a step in the right direction. If they improve on the verification methods maybe it will become one I would recommend.

Visit CheckedProfile.com directly and for more services designed to help you succeed in dating, take a look at our Dating Profile Help category.

I have oodles and oodles of files of horrible online dating pictures that I use as examples for my clients. Let’s say I’ve seen every mistake in the book. Of course, this is great news for you because you don’t have to make those mistakes now! Here are things to avoid in your online dating profile pictures:

1) Old pictures. If you are 5 years older or 10+ pounds heavier/lighter now, you need new pictures. Nobody wants a “surprise!” on a date when the person they meet doesn’t match the person they thought they found attractive online.

2) Fuzzy pictures. Get a good camera and be sure your photos are clear.

3) Webcam pictures. I don’t care how state of the art your webcam is, it does not take good pictures. The colors are washed out and the lighting is awful.

I found a press release that announces the partnership of DatingHeadshots and Honesty Online to be a little over the top. In the first sentence they compare Justin Timberlake being sexy to the two dating companies new partnership. 😲

What the two companies are now offering is a complete Verification Package. On the photo side you get a professional photographer and a photo shoot. Government ID is checked to ensure the person who ordered the photos is the one at the photo shoot. Afterwards the person can then complete the Honesty Online verification process. This process uses information from your past to verify the person's identity by asking you multiple choice questions. A more thorough background, job and education check can also be completed at an additional cost.

This is an ideal merger of these two services, having your photos and background information being verified together. Plus, with the photos you get recent professional shots that helps give a strong first impression. Unfortunately I went to both sites and could not find any additional information on this partnership or service. I have a feeling it may be more money than people are willing to spend. It is also unclear on the Honesty Online website which dating sites use their services. I know they have a Facebook application but, it does me no good to get a verification package if I can't show myself as being verified on my favorite dating site.