Photos

Have you been told to keep your shirt on/button it up/have someone else take your photo/look away from the camera?

In all of the instances above, OKCupid is shutting you down. The popular online dating site decided to dig into its members' profile pictures and see if there was a story to be told. Indeed, there was, but certainly not the story the folks at OKCupid expected. The study's data covers 18 to 31-year-old only and reviewed over 7,000 photographs to come to a few conclusions. Grab a coffee (and maybe a note pad) so you can soak-up everything OKCupid shares and maybe make some meaningful changes to your own online dating profile.

Smiling is Good, but There's Something Better

We all get that smiling is the key for any happy photo, but OKCupid discovered that there's one more thing that takes a smiling photo to the next level: the flirty look. The ideal look for profile pictures that work is a smiling, flirty face looking directly into the camera...for ladies. Eye contact is important and enhances a woman's attractiveness, while the flirty look seems to send things over the top. On the contrary, men were found to be most attractive in photos where they look away from the camera and do not smile.

Self-Portraits Sell

Who knew that the "MySpace" style profile picture would be successful? Certainly not OKCupid. But according to their study, these pictures pull more weight than one might think. The self-shot photos for both men and women garnered more bites (new contacts) per month than regular photos taken by someone else. They initially thought these surprising results (for women, at least) were purely a product of self-shots being more revealing (i.e. cleavage). Then again, men don't have (or should not have) cleavage, so that was out. Perhaps it's simply a factor of self-shots being honest. They're not edited or photoshopped and you know they're probably current photos. Oh - and an interesting tidbit: guys, you can take your shirts off, but the ladies start losing interest (sharply) after they turn 19.

Beauty May Be Only Skin-Deep?

"Keep your clothes on." We ladies have heard that repeatedly when it comes to out online dating profile pictures, right? Have a seat. Get ready for convention to be challenged. OKCupid says that profiles that include a cleavage shot, regardless of the member's age, get more pings than those profiles without. Shocking! Be sure to check out the charts in this section of the report, as a woman who always thought that showing a little "down there" always meant I didn't value myself "up there," I'm going through a paradigm shift here.

But wait - the report dup a little deeper with the "cleavers." They modeled potential conversations held the keepers of the cleavage shot (in comparison to those with other types of photos and discovered...those members with "more interesting" photos were more likely to have enduring conversations (information based on the number of back and forth messages and the type of photos in a member's profile).

OK, so all may not be lost below or above the chest, but maybe a little more skin can't hurt?

OK - Show Your Face. Or Not?

We've been forever told to show our faces in our online dating profile photos. Let people see what you look like. Make sure they know it's YOU. But OKCupid discovered a very interesting tangent in their recent study: no face can be great if you give them something else to look at. An intriguing photo that's a bit quirky can beg conversation and in the long run, prove itself just as powerful as a full-face profile picture. Who knew, right? Maybe that odd little picture your friend snapped of your next or your series of self-portrait in shoe...potential online dating profile pictures, all of them!

To read the complete report, OKCupid's blog and to find out more about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.

I found a news item on the eHarmony blog that was interesting. Researchers at UC Berkeley teamed up with a dating site to find out how important the photo headshot is for a dating profile. For both genders, researchers found that a photo in a profile was necessary for a member to be deemed attractive. Researchers also found that participants of the study said that the actual content of the profile was then used to determine if the member in the profile was a possible match and deserved to be contacted. The photo is the hook, but it is the content in the profile and how the person portrayed themselves that is the deciding factor for communication.

Finally, once the two online daters met face to face, looks became the least important predictor of a long term relationship. The overall attraction and the "connection" were deemed most important.

Find out more on the eHarmony Blog. For further info about this matchmaking service, read our eHarmony review.

We're back to dissect the remaining two myths in OkCupid's "4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures". While their conclusions are unquestionably food for thought, it's important to remember that OkCupid is just one dating site, with its own personality and etiquette. These results might not apply at any other dating site. Still, let's figure out the basic tips we can learn from these last two myths:

Myth 3 - Guys should keep their shirts on Though shirtless "ab shots" are somewhat of a cliché, apparently it's a cliché that works: people respond to a good set of abs. Interestingly, the effectiveness of the "ab shot" decreases with age. Unclear whether that's because the abs themselves are less impressive, or whether those who are older are looking for more than just a pretty package. Conversely, posting a cleavage shot if you're a woman can apparently help keep the messages flowing even as you age. There's no doubt that cleavage will bring you attention at any stage in life, and probably men of all ages will always appreciate a busty woman, but is it the "right" kind of attention? Considering that women tend to post more outdoor shots of themselves as they age, and respond less to the "ab shot," it sure seems like they're looking for more. A related study determined that the skin might bring attention, but actual conversations tend to occur more for people who are doing "something interesting" in their picture.

• What we can take away: If you want attention, flaunting your body will bring it - online or in the real world. It's up to you to decide if it's the kind of attention you want.

Myth 4 - Make sure your face is showing Essentially, it's okay to have a picture that doesn't clearly show your face, as long as it's an interesting photo - enticing or artistic, something that draws the viewer in regardless. This is probably an ultimate example of, "It's okay to break the rules, as long as you really know what you're doing."

• What we can take away: It's definitely a gamble to use an unusual picture. If you're new at this, it's best to stick to the simple and effective, and mix it up later.

And thus, we come to the end of the OkCupid study. Have our perceptions of online photos been dramatically altered? Maybe not - but they've certainly given us more to think about.

For part 1 of this story, read this article and for more about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.com.

The folks from OkCupid are back again to blow our minds - and the lids off some of the common, as they call it, "Myths of Profile Pictures". While, of course, it's best to view any set of data with a critical eye and place it in the proper context (uhoh, I'm channeling my Statistics professor), let's see what we can take away from this study. One thing I'd like you to bear in mind, before we begin: OkCupid is just one dating site, and might have a different ratio of people looking for "hookups" or relationships. Also, success is measured in messages - no clue if those messages were worthwhile, or simply leering. You might get attention, but there's no guarantee it's the kind of attention you want. Now, the "Myths of Profile Pictures":

Myth 1 - It's better to smile This "myth" is somewhat misleading. In general, you can't really go wrong with smiling; what is supposedly shocking is that women also get positive responses by "flirting" directly into the camera, and men get positive responses by brooding at something off-camera. Now, is this really all that surprising? That men respond to a bit of pouty eye contact and women like that tall, dark and mysterious persona?

• What we can take away: Smiling is a still a safe bet. If you really think your best pictures fall into one of the other two categories, you can gamble and see how it pans out. Also remember that smiling sends a host of other messages, like honesty, openness, kindness, that are harder to convey in other types of photos.

Myth 2 - You shouldn't take a picture with your phone or webcam The study found that self-shot photos are marginally more successful, possibly due to the "intimate" feel these pictures have. I say this makes sense; "casual" or "natural" is almost always better than stilted and posed. And today, webcams and phones are much better than they were even five years ago.

A related find in this "myth" is that the "Myspace" shot (taken from above) is incredibly successful for women (even when you remove shots that include cleavage). While this is more surprising, it hints at how we've been changed by social media. OkCupid has a pretty large late-teen, early-twenties demographic, thanks to their quizzes, and these are kids who came of age with Myspace and digital cameras. Undoubtedly their perception of what they find attractive has been shaped by the prevalence of social media. Perhaps in days past, pinups and magazines shaped the most "alluring" poses; now, it's the Internet.

• What we can take away: Go for natural rather than posed pictures, and if you have to do the Myspace thing, you'll be just as successful without featuring the cleavage.

Join me next time to dissect the last two myths, Guys should keep their shirts on and Make sure your face is showing (see Story) .

For more about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.com.

Online dating can definitely be an adventure and profile pictures make it even more fun. You and your potential matches get to see one another in a variety of poses clothing, attire and situations and vet both the physical and emotional side of things before you’ve ever met.

Profile pictures are a double-edged sword, however, and especially for women. While I am confident that you can never reveal too little in your pictures, I’m completely sure you can reveal too much. Most gals on online dating sites are looking for a boyfriend. If they just wanted to hook-up, they’d be trolling the local bars with their girlfriends on a Friday night. If you’re one of those gals looking for a solid and loving partner, I’ll make my case for omitting certain types of pictures from your online dating profile.

The Swimsuit Shot

Unless you’re a competitive swimmer sporting a one-piece suit, ditch the bikini shots. The men in your life need to earn the right to see you in revealing attire. Every time I see a picture of a girl in a bikini on an online dating site, I think: wow – she’s putting that out there for everyone. Why not save a little something for your future sweetie – something that not everyone gets to see? After all, the guys you attract with a bikini shot are going to be looking at you for one thing, and that one thing isn’t (hopefully) going to happen on the first date. Don’t put yourself in a position where you’re wasting your own time by attracting the wrong kind of guy. You’re gorgeous and look great in a bikini, so let your future sweetie relish the fact that he’s the one who gets to share that, not everyone else who stumbled across your online dating profile.

Whether you’re new to the world of online dating or not, it doesn’t necessarily get easier to keep meeting new faces. You’ve got your “standby” meeting locations for drinks or coffee and first dates. But are there ways to be even safer with the entire online dating process?

I discovered a tool called FaceFile awhile back and wanted to share it with the “dating public.”

FaceFile can be used with any camera-equipped cell phone (and I hear they have an iPhone app and Blackberry/JavaScript app coming out soon). It works as simple as this:

Step 1: Visit FaceFile online and sign up for your FREE personal account (I love that it’s FREE!).

Step 2: Add the address for your FaceFile secure photo lockbox to your phone’s address book.

Step 3: Take a photo of new people you’re meeting via online dating. Just say, “Hi! Would you mind if I took your photo? It uploads to a secure database called FaceFile and isn’t visible to anyone. It’s a personal safety tool I use and I hope you understand that I’m just trying to do this online dating thing the smart way!”

Step 4: Text the picture to your FaceFile account.

The photos you take are stored securely online. They are not shared with anyone. Instead, an alert is sent out to a network of people you’ve established with your FaceFile account. This network receives an email that you’re uploaded a new photo and to check in on you. While your phone might ring during your date, that’s easy to manage!

Since your safety is of the utmost importance, FaceFile lets you enter into new environments with new people with a greater level of security. If the act of you taking a person’s picture discourages them from doing you harm – FaceFile has worked perfectly. If anything goes awry, however, you have a trusted network of people who know that they should check in on you. While they can’t see the photo, they can reach out to make sure you’re OK an if necessary, alert law enforcement that something’s not right.

Since installing FaceFile on my phone, I’ve only used it once and it was to take a photo of someone yelling into a car window in front of me at a stoplight. As predicted, I got a few phone calls from my Network, but that’s OK. The system worked!

If you want to learn more about FaceFile and how to use it, you can visit their online demo. If you don’t feel safe in the online dating game, you may be missing out on Mr. or Mrs. Right. FaceFile is another tool that can help you if you feel it’s a fit.