Long Term

Dating apps have been blamed for the so-called “dating apocalypse” – the idea that singles prefer to mindlessly swipe instead of trying to form a long-term relationship with someone who interests them. But according to a new study, the opposite is true – people are turning to dating apps to find long-term relationships.

Researchers from Switzerland’s University of Geneva (UNIGE) studied survey data from 3,235 of the country’s adults aged 18 and over who were in a relationship and had met their partner in the last ten years, and found that those who had met over a dating app were more likely to live together than others, indicating a higher level of commitment.

Women who met their partner over a dating app were also more likely to want a child within the next three years compared to those who met their partners offline, showing that dating app users approached the dating process with greater commitment. In addition, those couples who met over apps were just as happy and satisfied in their relationships as those who hadn’t, according to a report by CNN.

Image: okcupid

A new study by dating app OkCupid found that politics and the pandemic are the two biggest forces shaping the dating experience, giving us a clue about what dating will look like in 2021.

The company surveyed two million of its users to find out how 2020 is shaping their view of dating, and what if anything has changed. According to Mashable, OkCupid published its Future of Dating report based on its analysis of 450 million responses they received from these users. The biggest impact on dating has been political engagement and polarization – notably in an important election year. A majority of 64% of respondents said they preferred to date someone who shared their political views, up from previous years when politics did not play such a major factor in deciding whether or not to date someone. In fact, this number jumped 7% since 2019, and 60% of respondents said they wouldn’t even consider dating someone with opposing political views.

Dating site eHarmony has found that quarantine helped solidify new relationships at an accelerated speed as people partnered and navigated lockdown together. The company also found that it helped long-term couples feel more connected, too. 

Relate, a non-profit that provides mental health and counseling services, worked with eHarmony to gather the data. According to Good Housekeeping, they found that 63% of respondents say their relationship feels stronger after quarantining together, and 58% say they know they want to be with their partner forever.

It’s not your imagination: the longer a couple stays together, the more similar they become in both looks and actions.

“As human beings, we’re instinctively drawn to people who remind us of ourselves,” wrote Lizette Borreli for Medical Daily. The question is, why are we inclined to such a unique brand of narcissism?

“We are drawn to those we have the most in common with, and we tend to have the most successful long-term relationships with those we are most similar to,” Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist, said in the same article.

Love doesn’t come with a textbook. There are no rubrics or cheat sheets. And it definitely doesn’t look like what you see in the movies.

Modern dating is complex and constantly evolving. Relationships are not easy to build and maintain, but they never were. Love comes in many guises - some readily recognizable, some not.

Forget what you know from Twilight. Unrealistic expectations can kill a relationship before it even starts. The reality? It isn’t always pretty, but it’s all we’ve got. These 4 life lessons may not be easy to learn, but they’re essential to lasting love.

There’s a lot of dating advice out there. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re online dating, messaging, or just sorting through your matches, and that’s okay. You learn as you go, one step at a time.

In my experience with dating and giving dating advice, there are a few things that I think are overlooked by the experts. Most advice centers around the practical: what types of photos to use, what messages get the best response, and why you shouldn’t talk about politics on the first date. These are all great tips, but I want to offer a few additional nuggets I’ve learned along the way.