Studies

When it comes to our personal lives and how we spend our time – many of us like to share what we’re doing over social media. We post pictures of the food we eat, talk about the five miles we ran in the morning, and want our friends and followers to know if we’ve started a cleanse or just lost ten pounds.

While these are good updates for your friends to rally around, offering supportive comments over Facebook and likes on Instagram, is it really helping your dating life? According to a new study by dating site PlentyofFish, fad diets and talking about your health routines are a huge turn-off for daters.

Gen Xers and Millennials believe their followers want to see and hear everything about the healthy lifestyles they adopt, but this survey shows that the diet and fitness craze is not only driving couples apart, but preventing singles from creating new relationships.

In terms of restrictive diets, 70% of women and 75% of men don’t want to date someone on a gluten-free, low/no carb or vegetarian diet. In addition, 47% of singles surveyed don’t want to date a vegan, either. (Sorry animal lovers.) While the jury is out on why this is the case, at least among POF users, perhaps most people don’t want to limit their own options or vary their routines, especially if they don’t know the relationship will work out in the end.

Exercise is another challenge for daters, with men being less than supportive of their girlfriends and dates than many people might think. Thirty percent of women have felt pressure from a partner to improve their exercise habits. Even more alarming – men admit it. Twenty-eight percent of men said they pressured a woman they were dating to exercise more, 32% pressured a woman to improve her eating habits, and 11% have broken up with a woman over exercise.

Women are the first to deprive themselves in preparation for a date, too. Twenty-two percent have dieted or not eaten in the time leading up to a big date.

When it comes to keeping fit – men and women differ on what it means to exercise. Thirty-nine percent of women walk, while 40% of men lift weights.

Interestingly, the PlentyOfFish survey targeted the most health-conscious users in North America's 10 fittest cities to reveal how singles view fitness and diet when it comes to forming romantic relationships. As it turns out, the most health-conscious daters are not the most tolerant of others who might be good romantic partners in other ways. Maybe it’s time we went a bit outside our comfort zones.

For more on the dating site which brought us this study you can read our POF review.

Just when you thought you had enough things to worry about in your love life, here’s another: your sense of humor. And not just whether or not you have one, but what your specific taste in funny says about your personality.

The fine folks over at eHarmony found that both men and women report that a great sense of humor is the most important thing they are looking for in their match. “Women’s ratings of a man’s humor was significantly associated with their ratings of the man’s intelligence and warmth, showing that women see funny men as more intelligent, positive, and upbeat,” a blog post on the subject said. Men, on the other hand, use humor as a tactic of competing with one another in hopes of catching the eye of a romantic interest.

Looking deeper, researchers identified 4 different types of humor: affiliative, self-defeating, self-enhancing, and aggressive. Each has unique characteristics:

• Affiliative: When people think “sense of humor,” this is what they’re thinking of. Affiliative humor involves telling jokes and making funny comments that are not at the expense of anyone. This type of humor is used to nurture relationships between people, to bring groups together, and to create a light-hearted, entertaining atmosphere.
• Self-defeating: People with the self-defeating humor type amuse others at their own expense. They make themselves the butt of their own jokes in order to gain approval from others (and they’ll even laugh along when others put them down).
• Self-enhancing: Those who use self-enhancing humor find the funny in everything, and typically deal with challenges by looking on the bright side. Self-enhancing humor can be used as a method of coping with adversity, to prevent negative emotions from taking over.
• Aggressive: The name says it all. Aggressive humor can include teasing, sarcasm, making fun of others or putting others down. It’s a hurtful kind of humor used to manipulate and alienate others. People who use aggressive humor can often have trouble holding back from saying things they find funny, even if they’re insensitive.

We each use all four types of humor in combination, but probably have a preference for one or two. Based on researchers’ findings, what that preference is could say something about your personality:

• People who use any affiliative, self-enhancing, and aggressive humor more were found to be significantly more intelligent.
• Affiliative humor users were also found to be significantly more secure in their relationships, value their friendships more, and be less athletic.
• Users of self-enhancing humor were found to be significantly happier in general than those who don’t use this type very often. They were found to be more confident in themselves, to feel more fortunate, and to be more satisfied with themselves overall.
• Individuals who use self-defeating humor are more likely to develop close relationships with others and are not afraid to show their true selves. However, they were also found to be significantly more anxious, depressed, and neurotic, as well as less confident in their own physical attractiveness.
• Aggressive humor users are significantly less kind and caring, more neurotic, more bossy and dominating, less confident in their physical attractiveness, and less likely to want a close relationship with their partner. They may also be more intelligent and more interested in sex, but the cons outweigh the pros in this case.

For more on the dating site which conducted this study you can read our review of eHarmony.

There’s no denying that family has a major impact on who and what we turn out to be. But exactly how big is that impact?

The research team PlentyOfFish set out to understand how your family affects your likelihood of reaching financial and personal success. The study examined the correlation between birth order and long-term relationships, income brackets, and education level. It also looked at the relationship between birth order and hair color, pets, and body type.

The participants in the study were North American singles, both men and women, between the ages of 25 and 45 who are from families of up to six children. All had created a PlentyOfFish profile since 2013, but were a mix of current users and those who had since deleted their accounts.

The study found that firstborns are more likely to experience multiple advantages in life. In comparison to their younger siblings, firstborns are more likely to find a relationship, pursue higher education, and make between $100k and $150k a year. Although the findings differed depending on the number of children in the family, firstborn children consistently came out on top. Fun fact: the eldest of two is also up to 8% more likely to be a redhead.

Middle children across the board are the least likely to find a relationship. On the other hand, they are more likely to make between $100k and $150k a year than their younger siblings. They are also, apparently, 20% more likely to own a bird as a pet.

Youngest children are the most likely to be looking for a relationship. The youngest of two is up to 15% more likely to be blonde and 9% more likely to own an iPhone. Youngest male children are 10% more likely to be thin, while the youngest female child of two is 9% more likely to be athletic and 7% more likely to be thin. The youngest in the family, regardless of gender, is also most likely to own a cat or a dog.

Single children are 9% more likely to be very ambitious and 15% more likely to be seeking a casual relationship. There are also 16% more likely to be overweight, 9% more likely to use an Android device, and up to 19% more likely to have black hair.

Moral of the story: birth order does have a connection to the direction your life takes, and it pays big to be the first born.

What is the magic ingredient that most people are looking for when it comes to committing to someone for a long-term relationship? Is it good looks, chemistry, a sense of humor? Or is there something more lasting or less tangible you look for as you date each new person?

According to a recent study by website DatingAdvice.com, about half of all American singles (both men and women) are looking for the same thing – having things in common with each other – like shared values, background, or interest in the same activities.

Other qualities that were important to those surveyed were money, good looks, and a sense of humor.

When the study was broken down, they discovered that while people were pretty evenly matched by gender, gay men and women were 12% more likely than straight people to want partners with common interests and values. There was a big divide by age, too: Americans aged 65 and older were 54% more likely than their 25 to 34 year-old counterparts to prioritize commonalities in their relationships.

DatingAdvice.com dating expert Rachel Dack said she’s not surprised that commonalities ranked highest among all other traits in the study, as Americans emphasize them as a culture.

“Similar values, lifestyle preferences and interests are important aspects in healthy relationships,” she said. “It also makes sense that older Americans were more likely to rate this quality much higher compared to younger Americans due to the stages of human development, aging process and the tendency for our elderly population to value companionship over other relationship qualities.”

Divorced men and women were also more likely than their married counterparts – and singles who have never been married – to want partners with common interests over other qualities. Respectively, 54% of divorced people were most interested in a partner with commonalities compared to only 47% of never-been-married folks.

There seems to be a difference regionally as well. Fifty-four percent of those in the South were more likely to look for partners with common interests above other qualities, compared to the Midwest at 44%.

The study broke down information by income as well, with 54% of those earning $125,000 or more preferring to meet partners who have things in common with them, compared to only 46% of those earning $25,000 to $49,000.

The study contained data from Americans surveyed over a three-week period, balancing participants according to race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. to accurately represent the American population.

Most women will agree that they prefer equal partnership when it comes to romantic relationships. This mean they each have equal say and an equal role to play in things like finances, child care, household chores, and major decisions like where to live or whether to start a business.

It makes sense in our culture, as the majority of women are pursuing both careers and families. They want a partner who respects and supports their ambitions.

But what if the reality is different from our post-feminist ideal of equality in relationships?

New research by New York University doctoral candidate in sociology Ellen Lamont is challenging the way many women still seem to accept certain elements of “the man’s role” both in terms of dating and marriage.

Maybe some of this rings true for you: Lamont found that when dating, women seem to prefer the man to ask them out and to pay for the date, a more traditional role. Also, women like to leave it to the man to make decisions about the trajectory of their relationship. That is, they wait for him to say “I love you” or to commit to being serious first. Essentially, this puts the man in control of the relationship.

It seems dating and courtship play a big role in how women view long-term relationships. If during the dating process, women put the man in the driver’s seat (so to speak) and let him decide where things are headed, then how is it possible to easily transition to an equal partnership once they are in a long-term, committed relationship?

“[Women] want traditional courtship and egalitarian marriages and I just don’t think that will be possible,” she said. “Their justifications for traditional courtship are based on beliefs in essential biological differences between men and women and they reinforce these beliefs in their dating practices.”

Lamont chose to study women who had some form of college education to better understand women who are balancing both career aspirations and wanting a love relationship. Even with education and ambition, many of the women still subscribe to “traditional gender norms,” according to Lamont.

“Women were supposedly so desperate to get married, while men were supposedly so reluctant,” Lamont said. “I wondered if women’s so-called desperate behaviors that are so frequently highlighted in the media were actually the result of the powerlessness they feel about the process of getting engaged.”

It’s an interesting point, and maybe one worth considering as we move forward into a bigger and more technologically advanced dating pool.

The women surveyed ranged from 25 to 40 years of age.

Olympic athlete and heartthrob Ryan Lochte has been quoted saying he’s never had a one-night stand (even while people were hot and heavy on Tinder in Olympic Village). And he’s not alone. Most Americans – 53% - claim they’ve never had a one-night stand.

A new study by Dating Advice found that while most Americans haven’t participated in this type of casual sexual encounter, men were more likely to have participated than women. Sixty-four percent of women said they’ve never had a one-nighter compared to only 41% of men in Lochte’s camp, which means that traditional gender roles when it comes to sexuality are still at play in American society.

Age was a factor in the study. Americans aged 18 to 24 had a 25 percent higher likelihood of saying they’d never had a one-night stand than those aged 25 to 34. The age difference makes sense, as there might be more life experience or opportunities for casual encounters as you get older and break away from your college relationship, opting instead for clubs and bars with other singles.

Not surprisingly, those who are married are also least likely to have had a one-night stand, with 56% saying they had never. On the other hand, only 41% of divorcees have not had one-night stands, compared to 50% of singles who have never been married.

There seems to be a distinction between straight and gay Americans, with only 32% of gay people saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to 54% of straight people. As for race, 45% of African Americans and 47% of Latinos have admitted to never having a one-night stand compared to 74% of Asians.

It seems there isn’t much difference among income earners, with about the same percentage of people earning less than $25,000 a year saying they’ve never had a one-night stand compared to those earning $125,000 or more at 56% and 55% respectively. However, those earning in the median range from $75,000-$99,000 were the most likely to have had a one-night stand, with only 49% saying they hadn’t.

As expected, the South and Midwest are more conservative, with 54% of their residents saying they’d never had a one-night stand compared to the Northeast at 50% and the West at 51%.

The study surveyed 1,080 respondents over the course of three weeks, balancing responses by age, gender, income, race, sexuality and other factors in order to accurately represent the U.S. population.