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We're officially obsessed with online dating, but that doesn't mean we're any good at it.

According to a 2013 Pew Research Center survey, one in five adults between the ages of 25 and 34 has used an online dating site or app. We're almost all on board with the idea of meeting through the Internet. We've become expert swipers, but we haven't become experts in presenting our best selves.

Are you making any of these common online dating profile mistakes?

1. Choosing the wrong photos. Your profile picture is the first thing anyone sees, so make it count. It should be flattering but accurate, not outdated or heavily edited. Include a range of images – casual, dressed up, in different settings, doing different things. Don't post group photos in which it's unclear who you are.
2. Being too generic. Everyone enjoys a good meal and spending time with friends. What really makes you unique? If you want to talk about food, mention specific cuisines or restaurants you enjoy. Paint a picture of the taco that changed your life. Universal interests don't offer any insight into who you really are and don't build a solid foundation of compatibility.
3. Lying about yourself. Shave off a few pounds here, add an inch or two there – it's an easy mistake to make. You want to make a good first impression and score the greatest possible number of dates. But in the end, you're setting yourself up for disaster. Sooner or later your lies will be exposed, and when the real-you doesn't match the profile-you, everyone loses. Dishonesty wastes your time and your dates'.
4. Leaving your profile empty. This should go without saying, but a surprising number of people choose to leave their profiles blank. Your profile exists to tell the world about yourself. You wouldn't want to date someone you knew nothing about, would you?
5. Writing a novel. On the other hand, there's no need to go overboard with your profile. Attention spans are increasingly short and schedules are increasingly packed. Few potential suitors have time to read your entire life story. Besides, if you say everything up front, there's nothing left over for the date.
6. Being too picky. It's good to be somewhat selective when it comes to your love life, but your profile shouldn't include a laundry list of deal breakers. There's a fine line between high standards and unreasonable standards. Focus on who you do want to date, not who you don't want to date.

Avoid these common online dating mistakes and you'll be well on your way to making a great first impression.

If you’ve ever dated online, you have probably encountered a match who wasn’t completely honest. Maybe he claimed to be 5-foot-ten in his profile, but when you showed up in heels for the date, he was definitely more like five-foot-five. Or perhaps the last girl you met posted a photo from a couple of years ago, when she was 20 pounds lighter.

Do you think your dates misrepresented themselves? Do they believe they were lying in their dating profiles, or simply “enhancing” how they see themselves?

Most people would agree that these types of “enhancements” are misleading. But when it comes to your own dating profile, do you hold yourself to the same ethical standard you apply to others, or do you shave a couple of years off your age or add a little more to your annual salary?

Lying in dating profiles is a slippery slope. While it’s true that people do filter according to certain preferences more than others – like height, age, and weight – does this mean you should fudge the numbers so that you are more likely to be included in someone’s search? If you do, then what happens when you meet in person and you have to explain yourself? Or after you’ve been on several dates with someone you’re really attracted to, and she starts making cultural references that you don’t relate to? Do you fall silent or pretend you know what she’s talking about?

It’s easy to get caught up in your deceit. The problem is, when you lie in your profile, it’s much more difficult to continue in a relationship that seems promising. You have started off on the wrong foot, and your date might be resentful that you lied (even if he did, too).

It might seem counter-intuitive to be called out on your lie when your date might have misrepresented himself, too. But it happens. This is where so much mistrust has built up in online dating. Everyone is so busy trying to “get past” the filters people put in place. But if you take this route, it works against you. Plus, it will make you distrust more online daters, and probably set your filters with even narrower focus. For instance, if you set an age range filter of matches between the ages of 25 and 40, but you meet a few 45 year-olds who fudged their ages, chances are you are going to set your filters to a more narrow focus of 25-35, assuming you will get guys who are actually 40 or younger.

Instead of trying to outsmart the filters on dating apps, or trying to widen your options by lying, try taking the honest route. See if your dates respond more positively to you. And see if you have a better, more comfortable time with them.

We could all use more honesty in online dating.

The dating app market is flooded, so new companies entering the field and looking to make their mark have to differentiate themselves. For some app developers, it’s taking a female-centric approach, like with Bumble. Others look to social networking connections to make people feel more secure about meeting strangers, like Coffee Meets Bagel or Hinge.

The latest grab for online daters’ attention comes in the form of creating a dating app that is as exclusive as possible.

In other words, a new crop of apps are taking a completely different approach from acquiring the most users, like with Tinder. The success of an online dating company or app has always been evaluated by how large its database of users is. But these apps are banking on another measure of success - that is, how coveted the app is. They are driving demand for the app, and then being selective about who gets to use it.

Dating can be difficult, there’s no doubt about it. One of the most difficult things about online dating is the mental game many of us play. Instead of looking and considering each potential match on its own, we compare and contrast our matches, swiping left and right based on a couple of photos or an Instagram feed. The faster we swipe to reject (or even accept), the faster we can meet someone with whom we have a connection. Someone “better” than the last match.

When we are judging others so swiftly and definitively, it’s hard not to do the same thing to ourselves. Do you wonder what others think of you – why they might be swiping left instead of right? Why another match might be “better” than you? Do you think that peoples’ reactions might change if you were just a little prettier, or more athletic, or taller? (Especially if you reject matches based on these same criteria?) This can ruin your confidence as well as your online dating experience. Sometimes, it’s better to take a step back and gain some much-needed perspective.

Online dating creates the illusion that we are not only sizing each other up, but competing with one another. Let’s take social media as an example – something that most of us check regularly. We are constantly looking at what other people are doing, and how our lives compare.

Have you ever come across the Facebook or Instagram feed of a friend who is always posting vacation photos from exotic locales, or your friend who is part of a happy couple who can’t stop sharing how much they adore each other or their new baby? Maybe you see your friends’ new promotions, new houses, and exciting moments and think your life falls short.

Social media can give us skewed perspectives, and so can endlessly swiping on dating apps. While we might think that other people have an easier time with online dating, or they are getting more dates, or are somehow meeting “better” people online, rest assured – all of us have the same insecurities and challenges.

Instead of looking at online dating as a competition or a numbers game, it’s time to approach it differently. Instead of mindlessly swiping and judging, try taking things slowly. (I know, it’s against the dating app mindset, but it’s necessary.) Try reading what each person says in his/her profile. Spend one minute looking at a profile before moving on to the next. Try looking through an Instagram feed and not judging or comparing your lives, just observing. Try saying yes to a match who doesn’t seem like your type, just to see what the date might be like.

The more you can distance yourself from the cycle of comparing yourself to others, judging others, and hating online dating as a result, the better. Instead, have a more curious approach. Try to get to know someone rather than making a judgment. Seek connection, not perfection.

In Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg’s new book Modern Romance, they discuss the disconnect of online dating in Japanese culture. Despite Japan’s adoption of and love for technology, single people still stigmatize online dating.

The reasons are part cultural and part historical. Japanese singles haven’t had a good experience with online dating, historically speaking. In the 1990’s when online dating first hit the singles scene, online dating companies had male members pay per message and also used their female employees as bait, posting their profiles on the dating sites to attract more male users. More recently, fake dating sites have been exposed, with companies using male employees to pose as girls on the sites and charging their male members to talk to them – (obviously, those members never get to the date).

It’s easy to see why Japanese singles are skeptical. But now dating apps have made things a little easier to verify. First, like most dating apps all over the world, users are verified through their Facebook profile, so it’s not easy to create fake accounts. And Japan is really embracing social media, especially after both LinkedIn and Facebook helped families find each other after the 2011 earthquake.

But another interesting trend is happening with Japanese online daters. The culture is rather conservative when it comes to dating – and guys don’t want to be thought of as players. Since dating apps have become synonymous with hook-ups, Japanese - and men especially - are weary to sign up for fearing like they will come across as insincere. So people aren’t really embracing online dating.

In fact, they aren’t dating much at all. Most Japanese singles are much more focused on work, which means working long hours and delaying starting a family. This is also taking a toll on their social lives. A 2014 survey by the Japan Family Planning Association found that 49% of all respondents had not had sex in the past month, and 18% of men said they had no interest in sex at all. On top of this, they face a serious population decline.  According to Business Insider, a 2012 report by Japan's National Institute of Population and Social Security Research shows the number of Japanese people will fall from 127 million to around 87 million by 2060.

Still not everyone is averse to online dating. The country has seen some interesting trends.

Selfies tend to be popular with online dating in most countries, but are looked upon as narcissistic in Japan. Even a photo showing an online dater by herself is frowned upon because Japanese tend to view this as self-centered. Most daters either post photos with a group of friends (so you can’t really identify the person you are meeting), or they post photos of their cats or random objects. One of the weirdest trends among online daters is posting photos of their rice cookers in their profiles, according to Modern Love.

There are definite cultural and practical barriers to get beyond when it comes to online dating in Japan. But as time goes on and it becomes more trust-worthy and mainstream, hopefully singles will embrace it.

When I talk to daters, the majority of them have tried online dating and decided it just “doesn’t work” for them. I understand – we have all been through some bad and good online dates, and sometimes when you have a string of disappointments it’s enough to make you want to give it up altogether.

Here’s why you shouldn’t.

I’ve heard the arguments about how dating and meeting people should be more organic, that people on online dating sites are just looking to hook up, that it’s hard to know who you are really meeting when you get to the date because your dates don’t look like their photos. All of this happens from time to time. But it’s also important to remember one basic and compelling fact: online dating makes meeting people much easier than approaching strangers at the grocery store, for instance.

Online dating is really a misnomer: it should be called online meeting, as Dr. Helen Fisher of Match.com once pointed out. It is an avenue of introduction, but it is only that: an introduction. There’s no guarantee of love at first sight, that you will have the same goals, that you have a similar sense of humor, that there will be chemistry. But you will have people to choose from, who have chosen to take part on the site, and to date (as opposed to that random stranger at Starbucks who might already be in a relationship).

We have become products of the online dating generation, which makes actual dating more difficult. We expect to know as much as possible about someone up front before we agree to spend time together, even if it is just over coffee for twenty minutes. We approach dates with caution and skepticism. We shut down if there isn’t that instant spark of chemistry, instead of trying to get to know someone past the awkwardness of a first date.

Most importantly, we’ve come to expect that there is always someone “better” out there, waiting to meet us. Daters tend to prefer to keep swiping on Tinder even after they have met someone who sparks their interest, because maybe – just maybe – that next person will be even better. So we’re never in the moment – we just anticipate meeting the next person, and then the next. This is killing dating.

In order to feel chemistry, to connect with someone, you have to be present in the moment. You have to be fully engaged. Otherwise, the connection simmers, and perhaps you both walk away feeling “meh.” Then it’s on to the next – and that person might have really been a good match. You just didn’t give him/ her enough of a chance.

So on your next date, take your time. Engage. Try to be fully present. Put away your phone. Talk. Ask questions. Listen. Then see how online dating works for you.