Studies

A recent article in The Wall Street  Journal pointed out the importance of using correct grammar in your online dating profile. According to surveys done in recent years by dating websites OkCupid and Match.com, grammar is by far one of the most important aspects of an online dating profile. If you mix up “your” and “you’re,” many daters will move on to the next.

But why is this? Aren’t people more concerned with great photos, as we’ve seen with apps like Tinder and Grindr? Why should online daters care about how people write – it isn’t necessarily an indication of who they are in real life or how great a match they would be. Besides, aren’t most daters attracted to physical appearances rather than writing style?

Apparently not. Match.com found that 88% of women and 75% of men in their survey of 5,000 singles said they cared about grammar most, putting it ahead of a person’s confidence and teeth.

The WSJ attributed this trend to the rise of dating apps and the common use of text slang, with abbreviations like YOLO (You only Live Once) replacing standard phrasing and sentences. While messaging has now become more of a convenience than an art, grammar has fallen by the wayside, and one way to make yourself stand out among the millions of other daters out there is to approach communicating with someone as though you put in some effort. After all, most dating apps don’t require much more effort than a swipe.

In other words, think about your professional life and how much time and care you put in to communication with your bosses and co-workers. When you send an email to a group of work colleagues, chances are you spell-checked it before pressing the “send” key, and most likely it isn’t filled with acronyms for every common phrase. If you apply the same protocol to online dating, it might seem a bit formal at first, but it definitely scores you more points. The person receiving your message is more likely to take you seriously because it looks like you have put in more time and effort.

In other words, you come across as smart and caring. Thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Grammar has been important in the online dating scene for a while, even before the popularity of texting and dating apps made bad grammar much more common. Dating websites like Match and eHarmony encouraged users to use complete sentences in their profiles and check for spelling errors. Wouldn’t you be turned off if someone you didn’t know turned in a report or emailed you with a couple of brief sentences, rife with misspellings?

A little effort goes a long way.

Japan has a well-deserved reputation for being a techno locally advanced nation, but there's one piece of the technological puzzle they haven't mastered: online dating.

Japan is a cultural and economic powerhouse faced with a serious population crisis. The country's overall population will reportedly contract by almost a third within the next 90 years. Its birthrate is one of the lowest on earth, and the marriage rate is also declining.

On top of that, a 2014 survey conducted by the Japan Family Planning Association found that 49% of all respondents had not had sex in the past month, and 18% of men said they had no interest in sex at all.

Add it all together, and you have a country facing some very unique problems. What happens when people no longer want to procreate?

The answer to that remains to be seen. For now, many are asking how Japan got there in the first place and what can be done about it.

Comedian Aziz Ansari and sociologist Eric Klinenberg address the issue in their new book, Modern Romance. "The Japanese are legitimately worried about running out of Japanese people," they write.

One reason could be a cultural fear of being perceived as the sleazy, superficial player-type known as “charai.” Online dating carries a similar social stigma in many countries, but it could be amplified in Japan, causing Japanese singles to avoid it entirely.

Another issue could be online dating's reliance on profile photos. "In Japan, posting any pictures of yourself, especially selfie-style photos, comes off as really douchey,” reads Modern Romance. Instead of posting selfies, which are considered too narcissistic, Japanese singles post photos with multiple people – or even no people at all. It wouldn't be unusual to come across a profile with a picture of a pet or a posession, like a rice cooker.

And that's not all. According to a recent Fast Company article, many singles in Japan view online dating as a scam. Scams sites proliferated back in the 90s, and reports of scams aren't scarce today either. It's scared many singles away and done nothing to reduce the stigma.

Some are using social networking and meetup sites to meet new people, but out-in-the-open online dating is still a controversial subject in a country that prizes subtlety. Companies like Tinder, Match, and OkCupid can't flourish in Japan because the cultural differences are too great.

With young Japanese singles increasingly expressing frustration, the country's dating scene is ready for the “disruption” Silicon Valley startups are so fond of touting. The question is, which company will step up and be the first to blaze a trail into the brave new world?

A recent article in Marie Claire surveyed single men across the U.S. to ask them about the online dating profiles they come across, and what they felt women lied about most when writing their online dating profiles.

The number one thing guys think women lie about is their looks – whether it’s their weight, “athleticism,” height, or even whether or not they've posted an old picture from five years ago. Enough women have used tricks to make themselves look more “attractive” – from using old photos to Photoshopping their features to avoiding posting full-body pictures – so that men are automatically suspicious of how they portray themselves physically, and what they might be hiding. So ladies, no more cover-ups. Include recent photos, and a body shot as well as headshots. Since there are also studies on the wide range of taste men have, you should show off your “flaws” - likely, it means more dates.

Men also believe women lie about their age. Let’s face it – I think this happens for both genders, especially for men who want to date much younger women. There is an age bias in online dating, which contributes to this phenomenon, but perhaps we should all do a reality check. Do you really want to admit you lied about something so fundamental when you meet in person, especially if you really like the guy? It pays to come clean from the start, so trust won’t be an issue.

Men are also weary of women who post that they love their independence – and include lots of photos with their girlfriends as proof. If you describe yourself as "not clingy," the first thing a man will wonder is – how clingy will she be? Instead of saying this in your profile, talk about the trips you’ve taken or the things you like to do. There’s no need to prove your independence if you have it.

Perhaps thanks to the movie/ book “Gone Girl,” men also get suspicious of any woman who describes herself as “laid-back.” They immediately wonder if she’s very sensitive or highly reactive. Same thing with women who describe themselves as successful – if they have to say it, are they really? (Plus, men tend to lie about their own success.) Again, it’s best to avoid defending yourself to someone who has never met you.

The last and most important thing to note is that men don’t believe it when women say they want a “casual” relationship. When they take this statement at face value, often times, the women end up wanting more, so they avoid women who write this altogether. The important thing to remember is – be honest. If you want a relationship, you shouldn’t be afraid to admit it. In fact, it will help you weed out the ones who don’t – because you won’t succeed in changing them.

When we think of abusive relationships, we often think of adults with dysfunctional, toxic partners. However, abusive relationships among dating teens is on the rise. According to a recent study revealed at the most recent meeting of the American Psychological Association, an overwhelming 49% of teens have experienced some form of abuse in their romantic relationships.

According to an article in DatingAdvice.com, Based on 2011 and 2012 data from a Growing Up with Media survey of 1,058 teens between the ages of 14 and 20, researchers concluded that almost half of adolescents who have dated someone have been victims of violence at least once in their lives, and astoundingly, 46 percent have been the perpetrator of violence.

Abusive relationships can take on many forms, but most often when we think of abuse, we think of physical or sexual abuse. However, some types of abuse are emotional or psychological, and therefore harder to identify or understand. Such is the case with many abusive teen relationships. Roughly 21% of teen relationships in the study were found to involve sexual or physical abuse. As is more often the case, the majority of abusive relationships tend to be emotional, especially with use of digital technology to manipulate a romantic relationship.

Emotional abuse seems to account for a large majority of the study’s results as it can come in various forms ranging from verbal name-calling to psychological manipulation. This type of abuse happens often via texting and digital means, as well as in person.

Another surprising result noted in the study was that the overall rates of teen dating violence are similar for both boys and girls. Twenty-nine percent of girls and 24% of boys admitted to playing the role of both victim and abuser in their relationships. Researchers discovered there was a lot of overlap in those who had been abused and those who were victim to it.

Researchers at the American Psychological Association said that violence should be studied more specifically, instead of categorizing those in relationships as either “victims” or “abusers,” as there is more of a gray line. This lack of understanding of the whole picture can lead to ineffective prevention of violent relationships.

Researchers acknowledged that young people who experience abusive relationships are more apt to enter into adulthood with emotional challenges, such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse issues. Almost a quarter of women who reported experiencing partner violence as adults had also experienced some type of abuse when they were young.

Popular dating apps like Tinder and Grindr have a reputation of being so-called "hook-up" apps. While more and more people are turning to dating apps to meet singles for long-term love and/ or a casual affair, this trend appears to coincide with a rise in the rates of syphilis and HIV, too.

Public health officials in Rhode Island released a health report last week stating that there has been a 79% rise in syphilis cases in the state between 2013 and 2014, and that it’s attributable in part to the use of social media and dating apps to arrange casual or anonymous hookups. People having unprotected sex, multiple sex partners, and having sex under the influence of drugs and alcohol were also cited as reasons for the increase in STDs.

“These new data underscore the importance of encouraging young people to begin talking to a doctor, nurse, or health educator about sexual health before becoming sexually active and especially after becoming sexually active,” Rosemary Reilly-Chamma of the Rhode Island Department of Education said in the report.

A rise in STDs, particularly HIV and syphilis, were also reported in New York, Utah, and Texas, where officials have warned of increased risk of transmission. The New York City Health Department announced earlier this year that men in the neighborhood of Chelsea had the highest infection rate of syphilis in the country.

Anindya Ghose, co-author of a study that monitored the rise of STDs along with the launch of Craiglist personals ads, believes that online dating apps have had a similar effect. "Basically what the Internet does is makes it a lot easier to find a casual partner," he told VICE News. "Without the Internet you'd have to put effort into casual relationships, chatting with someone at the bar or hanging out in places, but these platforms make it a lot more convenient and easy. That's essentially what the primary driver is."

Others disagree, citing a lack of education and resources, especially for young people, the largest group at risk. They argue that community health providers, doctors, and even schools should educate people about the risks of not using condoms and other protection when engaging in casual sex. Access to condoms and affordable healthcare are two big concerns.

Social media and dating apps make it easier to meet people, but they didn’t create the problem of STD risk. They magnified a problem that already existed – casual sexual encounters without adequate knowledge of safety and protection leave people vulnerable to risk.

Dating app Clover analyzed data from 200,000 users of its service to find out where people like to go on a first date. Not surprisingly – Starbucks Coffee Chains took the number one spot.

What was surprising about the study was that bars and other popular coffee shops didn’t really figure into the top choices. According to Clover, their users chose restaurants overall, though perhaps meeting for a drink at a restaurant is preferable for most first dates instead of the local bar. After all, if it’s going well – then you can just move on to dinner.

But as it turns out, well-known chain restaurants are among the most popular places to meet a date, as opposed to a local café or even a bar. (It doesn’t pay to be a little more creative.) Chains including In-N-Out, Olive Garden, and Red Lobster are among the top 30 places to meet a first date, according to Clover. Chipotle claimed the number two spot behind Starbucks, beating out Cheesecake Factory at number four and Peet’s Coffee and Tea at number fifteen.

Women differ from men by where they would like to meet for that first date. Fifty-two percent would rather meet at a coffee shop, as opposed to only 35% who prefer to meet at a restaurant. Perhaps because they don’t want to get stuck for a meal that could take hours with someone they aren’t especially attracted to. On the other hand, men are far more willing to take their chances, or at least enjoy a good meal as long as they are on a date. Fifty-one percent of men prefer to meet at restaurants, as opposed to 31% who prefer coffee shops. Surprisingly, neither men or women find bars to be good first date places. Only 18% of men and 13% of women would choose to meet at a bar.

While Starbucks far outweighs any other coffee shop on the list when it comes to preferable meeting places, restaurants do tend to differ according to age. Eighteen to twenty-four year-olds, typically with the lowest discretionary income, chose Chipotle as their number one choice. Twenty-five to thirty-four year-olds preferred Cheesecake Factory, while 35 and older chose The Olive Garden.

It should be noted that Clover is an “on-demand” dating app, which allows users to select a nearby location through the app to meet for a first date. The data was gathered through user preferences in the app.