Advice

Many young couples struggle with insecurity, asking themselves whether the other person really likes them or is just playing around. Just like the true love of long-time partners, the couple must feel for each other in thought, word, and deed. Of course, the level of commitment is vastly different in the mature couple, but we can still learn about positive, encouraging behavior even from a simple example. What does it mean to love in thought, word, and deed? There are a few signs that you can look for to see if this true type of relationship is developing, or to test whether your long-term partner is really committed to the relationship.

1. Loving or Caring for Someone in Thought

This sentence implies that the person thinks about your welfare and your happiness. He or she will not do anything to purposely hurt you. That may seem obvious to you but it can also be demonstrated by some nuances in behavior. When you are with friends, for example, will that person always stick up for you? Will he or she ensure that nobody does anything to tear down your confidence or show you disrespect? Let me give you a simple example. Bob and Jennifer went out with friends to go skating. Bob had never skated before and was stumbling around and falling all over the place. Jennifer was proud, however, of the effort that Bob was giving to the afternoon. Despite difficulties with the activity, and laughs from onlookers, he kept at it. Jen, a good skater, thought to herself, “Bob is really showing strong character and determination today, I think I like him.” Here, we see that she liked him “in thought.” Of course, we are not mind readers so how would he know.

2. Loving or Caring for Someone in Word

What do we mean by loving in Word? There is more to the expression than saying “I love you.”

Let’s continue with the story.
Later that evening while Bob was driving Jen home she said to him, “Bob, I was really proud of the way that you skated today. You had never skated before, but you kept at it. Thank you.” Bob proceeded to give Jen the biggest smile of his life. He felt built up, and confident.

3. Loving or Caring for Someone in Deed

Jen, seeing the positive reaction her comment had on Bob, was overwhelmed with affection and emotion. Then, without giving it a second thought, she leaned over in the car and gave Bob a gentle kiss on the cheek. Finally, Bob said “thank you Jen, what a wonderful complement and day,” affirming and receiving the act of love.

We see in this simple example, that the thought of respect, gave way to words of affection, followed by a deed of action; the innocent kiss. Jen expressed love to Bob in thought, word, and deed and it was received gladly.

Other simple examples from everyday life could be, does your partner wish you a pleasant and successful business trip? Is there a telephone call to you when you return to ask how it went? Does your partner wish you good luck on an important exam and follow this up afterwards in asking you about it? The examples are endless and the signs are always there.

Many in a young and even a not so young relationship, struggle with the question about the sincerity of their partner. An easy way to find the answer to this question is to examine whether your partner, regardless of the level, demonstrates love in thought, word, and deed.

Remember, “Life and Death are in the Power of the Tongue.”
Proverbs 18:21

St. Patrick's Day is this week, and and that means the bars, clubs and restaurants will be crawling with people – even people who don't normally go out much. An added bonus is that these people will almost always be adults as well, and the number of families will be slim to none. The good news is that while there will be some couples, in general we've got a single, adult haven; the bad news is that St. Patrick's Day is pretty much known as the get-drunk holiday, so the people you meet might not remember you tomorrow.

Because being out on St. Paddy's Day is a prime time to meet new people, it might be worth modifying a little of your own behavior so that you, too, can remember anyone you meet. This doesn't mean you can't have a good time, but taper down the drinking so you'll at least recall the time you've had. And trust me, vomiting isn't attractive, either, so it's a win-win situation.

It might not be a bad idea to be at your most pro-active earlier in the night, before everyone becomes sloshed and before the come-ons start flying thick and fast. At 1:30 in the morning you might just look like any other guy or girl looking to hook up, but earlier you can actually have a conversation and be more memorable – both literally and figuratively.

Just because the holiday features shamrocks and leprechauns, don't expect magic to be made on St. Patrick's Day; chances are, the people are out with friends and have some amount of set plans. The point, however, is that you're getting to meet people you might not ordinarily encounter. If you can walk away with a phone number or two, you'll be doing well. And because it's a holiday, you have things to talk about right away – like his giant leprechaun hat or her headband with googly shamrocks.

Be safe this St. Patrick's Day – and maybe you can use this giant partying holiday and use it to your advantage. Remember to wear a shamrock for extra luck!

I can understand someone asking the question, does online dating work? I too used to ask that same question—usually with a roll of the eyes and a snicker as though I already knew the answer. Truth be told, I was skeptical enough that I decided to line up 50 online dates and document my experiences. Was I doing it to find love? Not really. Was I doing it to help out other singles? Maybe a little. I was mostly doing it in hopes of scoring a great book deal since chic lit, sex and dating writing were all the rage thanks to Sex and the City. I was also looking to answer that question that you’re asking about whether or not online dating works.

So, does online dating work? With as much enthusiasm as I can possibly put out, I can say with all honesty that yes, it does indeed work. Did I discover that through 50 blind dates? Sort of. You see, I am engaged to date #2 and after our first meeting never did make it on any of the other dates!

Why Does Online Dating Work?

The success of online dating can be attributed to several things, including convenience, variety and, the initial anonymity that it provides. It’s no secret that we’re living in a world that seems to run on overdrive. We are more strapped for time than ever before because we work and play harder than ever. The convenience of being able to look for love at anytime of the day or night that works for us is often what attracts us to online dating in the first place. For people who work odd shifts or multiple jobs or even have kids to take care of; finding the time to go out in search of Mr. /Mrs. Right can be nearly impossible, not to mention expensive. Hopping online every time you have a moment, be it just before bed or while you’re sitting on the toilet, gives people the opportunity to see who’s out there when they can. And, the variety of potential dates is absolutely incredible—20 million each month incredible to be a little more precise! With all the different dating sites online and members of all shapes and sizes and backgrounds and ages, how can you not have a good shot at love??

As mentioned, the initial anonymity that you get with dating online has a lot to do with why online dating works so well. Being able to communicate with potential dates from behind the security of the computer screen enables people to open up more easily and be themselves. It`s actually been proven that men in particular have an easier time opening up and forming a bond with a woman before they even meet, showing an increase in ‘successful matches’, which is defined as couples seeing each other beyond the first and second date.

I should stress that this doesn’t mean that you’re guaranteed love with the first person that you meet via online dating, of course. It could be the first or it could be the hundred and first, but, as long as you’re willing to put yourself out there and give it a try, it is very likely to happen.

It's happened to every one of us: you start dating someone right around his or her birthday! It's too soon for extravagance but you don't want to look like a cheapskate - where's the happy medium?

Before you exhaust yourself in the interminable search for something that's beyond your means because you're afraid to disappoint, check out this handy list of ideas. Designed to keep you in favor and out of the dog house, we'll bet that there's something in here that will get your own creative juices flowing!

Live Music - Go Local

If your date is a fan of the live music scene, why not plan a casual dinner out followed by an evening filled with tunes? To find live music in your area, try a web search for "(your city) live music." You may even luck out and find a destination that offers both dinner and music! Your local pop culture newspaper will also have live music listings and perhaps even an online calendar on their related website.

Get Some Culture

Maybe your newest better half is a culture buff. Why not check out the local museums or zoo and see what's brewing after dark? These destinations oftentimes have special films or events after regular exhibit hours that allow you a behind-the-scenes look and glimpse of culture you wouldn't otherwise see. Check the websites for your local museums and cultural destinations and see what's on the calendar.

Get Outside

Are you avid fans of the outdoors? Why not plan a day trip for you and your newest half to a cool destination? Look for local historical hot spots. Maybe climb a Colorado Fourteener. Take a Nordic ski trip. Drive to see some waterfalls or hidden arches in the desert. There's something within hours of your locale - get in the car and go!

For the Bookworms

Every town has a few independent book stores. They usually have calendars featuring upcoming events as well. Why not head to an author's talk or book signing on a subject sure to get your other half all-a-flutter? You can walk the stacks, walk away with a new tome and share something intellectual.

Get Your Geek On

Are you both avowed "geeks?" Why not check out the local trivia and pub quiz circuit in your locale? May cities have Geeks Who Drink events and other pubs and taverns host similar trivia nights. It's a great way for your competitive spirit to come out to play.

Take a Lesson

Maybe you can't paint and she can. Or vice versa. Try an afternoon outing like going to a ceramics painting studio or taking a class at the local rec center or even your nearby REI. Try something new, share some laughs and broaden your horizons. Who knows - you might find something you enjoy doing together (or agree to never do again!).

Build a Scavenger Hunt

Lead your new love on a three or four stop tour to a cool destination. Put together a list of clues and offer to act as the chauffeur. Then, it's in your other half's hands to tell you where to go to collect the next clue and guide you to the ultimate destination! Combine any of the ideas above and build your very own adventure. It's simple, won't break the bank and bound to pique your other half's curiosity!

Okay, online dating isn't rocket science, but if you're planning on giving it a real go then there are a few things that you can do beforehand to give yourself the best shot at success. By success I am referring to finding love, though I suppose you could apply these to finding whatever it is you want, because let's face it; success in online dating to some is finding the ideal sex partner and nothing more.

Getting Ready for Online Dating

Think about what you really want. You need to know whether you're looking to find love or some casual fun because you'll need to choose a category for your profile when you start dating online. Being sure of what you want will also help you choose the category to browse so you're more likely to find those who are looking for the same things, i.e. long term relationships, casual dating, etc.

Choose a great profile picture. Yes, it's terrible that society bases so much importance on looks as opposed to what's inside, but it happens. You don't need to be a supermodel to find love online and you don't need any professional 8x10 glossies either; just a good picture of yourself as you look right now-not ten years ago. It is a proven fact that dating profiles with pictures get viewed more than those without which ups your chances of meeting someone. Choose a picture that shows you off and that you're proud of. One that is very natural and almost shows your personality is the best bet. Your online dating profile is, after all, your first impression so make it a great one!

Open your mind up nice and wide. Preparing yourself for online dating and making the absolute most of the experience really will require keeping an open mind. This means canning any preconceived notions or hang ups you may have about the whole online dating thing as well as any that you may have when it comes to people. Without lowering your standards and settling, you need to try to keep an open mind as to the different types of amazing people out there who may not necessarily fit the 'type' that you normally date or think you need to date. Height, weight, hair color and boob size hardly dictates a good match! Be willing to try new things and people and you'll have a lot of fun and a lot better luck at finding someone great.

Be patient and have fun. Even if you've had it with dating and want to find the love of your life yesterday, you won't get anywhere if you're not willing to have some fun and be a little patient. You can't hurry love, my friend! Enjoy the dates you go on and the new experiences that online will bring and be ready to laugh off the bad dates, should you have any. No one stops you from having fun but you!

Now you're ready for online dating and all the fun that it can be!

You've probably heard all kinds of things about online dating, whether or not it works and the kind of people who use it. Well, most of that is opinion or just myth. Before you completely poo-poo the idea of online dating you need to read this article because I am going to bust the myths about online dating right here, right now.

Myth: Online dating is for losers.

Reality: Online dating is not limited to the stereotypical comic-reading guy in his 40's who lives with his mom or the middle-aged woman who is desperate to mate and procreate! A quick browse through the members of any given site will show you that all kinds of people use online dating. Why wouldn't they? It's convenient and fun!

Myth: Online dating doesn't work.

Reality: Study upon study has shown that online dating does work and actually has a success rate of over 90 percent in the sense that most people who meet do go on to see each other past the first and even second date. That's more than can be said for the old fashioned way.

Myth: Online dating is expensive.

Reality: You can spend as much or as little as you want when it comes to online dating. Of all the myths about online dating, this is the easiest to bust because all you have to do is check out the many free dating sites available, like Plenty of Fish which is huge! (Not to mention where I met my fiancé!)

Myth: Everyone lies on their online dating profile.

Reality: Yes, there are people who lie on their online dating profiles and they're usually the same ones that will lie when dating the old fashioned way too. You run the risk of meeting a liar no matter where you go to meet people but that doesn't mean that everyone you come across lies. With online dating you can be pretty sure that most of the members are there for the same reason that you are and are sincere. You can't say that about everyone at a bar or party.

Myth: Dating sites are full of people who only want sex.

Reality: Thanks to sites that cater to specific wants, tastes and lifestyles, people looking for nothing but sex can find what they want without ending up in the pool of those looking for serious dating and commitment. If you want sex, then you use a site or category for those looking for sex and if you want a long term relationship then you stick to the sites and categories that are specific to those looking for love. It's that simple.