Match Group

Match.com's Singles in America study, now in its fourth year, examines the attitudes and behaviors of over 5,300 American singles from from all walks of life in order to get a glimpse into how love and relationships are viewed today.

First dates are kind of a big deal, so of course questions about them were front-and-center in the Singles In America study. Based on the data, dating is in a place that few would have believed years ago. 92% of men now say they're perfectly comfortable with a woman asking them out (yay!), and only 25% of men say they want to plan the first date themselves. Ladies: time to step up your game.

Oh, and it's also time to step up your online stalking game. 47% of singles research their dates on Facebook before meeting (which could explain why 32% of singles ask for the first and last name when asking someone out). Women are the bigger offenders, with 53% percent conducting a bit of pre-date online research compared to 38% of men.

During the date, men and women take different approaches to attraction. Men are more likely to believe in love at first sight (43% of men vs 32% of women), while women are more likely to later fall in love with someone they didn't initially feel a spark with (53% of women vs 40% of men).

Here are a few important things to keep in mind while you're on that first date:

• Don't talk about exes. 72% of singles say it's the #1 conversational offense on a date, followed by politics (62%) and religion (54%).
• 92% of singles drink on a first date, so don't be afraid to imbibe...but don't go overboard.
• 60% check their phones at least once, even though both men and women consider it rude.
• 35% of men and 27% of women believe that the man should pay for the first date, regardless of who asked for the date in the first place.
• Women are more likely to judge a man by his attire than his car.
• Men are more likely to judge a woman by her tattoos than her shoes.
• A first date can be judged by how long it lasts. 52% of singles think a good first date should be between 2-4 hours.

And what happens after that first date?

• Single men are 5x more likely to hope it ends in sex.
• 51% of singles are already imagining their future together.
• 46% of men and 35% of women follow-up the next day (ideally by phone, though text is a close second). Only 6% of men abide by the "Three Day Rule."

For more on the dating site which conducted this survey you can read our Match.com review.

While POF has garnered a lot of attention over the years for its free online dating service and hook-up potential, its founder wants to get back to basics and is focused on the goal – finding people matches for the long-term.

POF does have an advantage over other dating sites: namely, its user base. With 70 million registered users all over the world, it can rightly call itself the largest online dating site. Three and a half million people log on to the site every day to look for matches and communicate with others. The company also estimates that over one million relationships a year begin on its website.

What does this mean for daters? For one thing, the sheer numbers POF draws from memberships means the company can determine how people date from country to country, including their cultural preferences and overall approach to dating. They’ve found that while daters in the U.K. largely embrace online dating, the rest of Europe is a bit behind. They can focus on areas of growth and potential.

POF began in Canada, but the U.S. is by far its biggest market, followed by the United Kingdom, Canada, Brazil and Australia.

“People in the United Kingdom will wear turtlenecks in the photos they send,” POF founder Markus Frind told The Provence, commenting on the cultural differences of dating he’s witnessed through the POF user base. “Women are way more aggressive in Brazil. They initiate as much as men.”

POF was started in 2003 when Frind was working for another technology company, and created the dating site in his spare time. He ran the company out of his apartment for five years until it reached ten million in annual revenue. Today he employs about 75 people in a large office space in Vancouver, and since POF remains a free service for daters, most of the revenue generated is from advertising.

Though Frind won’t disclose how much revenue his private company makes, he has put aside $30 million for acquisitions and intends to keep growing. In September of last year, he bought speed dating company Fast Life, hoping to add value to his online dating service by getting into singles events.

And as for success stories? Frind met his own partner through work, not over an online dating site. But he has gathered some success stories resulting from POF matches, including a young married couple who met each other five years ago on the site.

With its popularity unwavering, POF is focusing its efforts on technology and growth. The goal according to Frind is still to help people find long-term relationships.

What if you could meet, woo, and win your fiancé in just 90 days?

That's exactly what Chris McKinlay, a Boston mathematician, did in June 2012. McKinlay was good at math, but not so good where his love life was concerned. So he did what any enterprising mathematician would do: developed complex algorithms and used robot profiles to systematically sift through thousands of profiles on OkCupid to find his perfect match.

McKinlay was working on his PhD at UCLA in June 2012 when he first joined OkCupid. After answering 350 questions from the thousands available on the site, he discovered that he only had a compatibility rating of over 90% with fewer than 100 women. Six disappointing dates later, and McKinlay realized that something needed to change. He decided to apply his data skills to his dating life.

He began by creating 12 robot profiles that answered all of the questions randomly and used them to mine the survey answers of all women on the site. Then, armed with 6 million answers from 20,000 prospective mates, he used an algorithm to analyze the women he would like to meet. He limited his search to LA or San Francisco based partners who had logged on within the last month and clustered their personalities into two types that appealed to him most: "indie" women in their mid-20s and slightly older creative-types. After creating two different profiles for himself designed to target each cluster, he then answered the top 500 survey questions for each group.

The hack worked. McKinlay suddenly found himself with a 90%-plus compatibility rating with more than 10,000 women. Because OkCupid notifies users when someone looks at their profile, McKinlay designed software that would automatically view as many profiles as possible, prompting curious matches to initiate conversation with him. He received about 20 messages per day and went on 87 dates, but just one - the 88th - was special.

28-year-old Christine Tien Wang, an artist pursuing a master's in fine arts at UCLA, caught his attention and the two hit it off. They've been together ever since, surviving through Wang's one-year art fellowship in Qatar and McKinlay's admission that he'd used rather unconventional means to meet the woman of his dreams. "I thought it was dark and cynical," Wang told Wired. "I liked it."

McKinlay maintains that he was just doing "a large-scale and machine-learning version of what everyone does on the site," and unusual though his approach may sound, it's hard to argue with success. McKinlay and Wang are now engaged, and he has written a book to help others find spouses through online dating...it doesn't get much more successful than that.

According to a recent study aiming to find the most desirable single in 2014, you'll have the most luck if you're 25 years old and rich.

The study pooled information from about 81,000 singles between the ages of 25-35 on the dating website Plenty of Fish, along with about 1.8 million messages to see what traits were the most desirable in both men and women who are online dating.

For both sexes, men and women in their twenties received more messages than those in their thirties. Women who were between 25 and 26 years old received the most messages, with a sharp decline once they turned 33.

It seems that both men and women prefer singles who make money. Women who earned between $50,000-$75,000 and men who earned between $75,000-$150,000 attracted more prospective dates than those earning less. And men who have law degrees are also likely to be the most successful in garnering attention online, with 33% more messages than the average single guy.

While data like this paints a certain picture of online dating, it's good to keep in mind that this is information gathered from only one online dating site and from just one demographic. If we were to look at online dating as a whole, the fastest-growing segment is singles over 50. And many people prefer paid dating sites like Match.com or eHarmony because daters tend to be more serious if they buy a subscription.

Free dating sites have always skewed younger, because many young daters aren't interested in serious relationships and want a chance to meet a lot of people. Paid dating sites tend to attract users of all ages who are on different levels of the dating spectrum - from casual to marriage-minded.

Twenty-somethings are also gravitating towards dating apps rather than online dating sites. Apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Are You Interested have been on the rise, mostly because of the ease of creating a profile and meeting people immediately, whereas most online dating sites require a little more effort and time before you're meeting each other face-to-face.

So while the POF study might feed into the stereotypes that persist about online dating (that singles prefer if you're young, earn a lot of money, etc.) - there are in reality a wide variety of singles who are online dating. Don't be afraid to explore a number of dating sites and see which one works best for you. This is the best time of year to do it, since more people than ever are online dating!

It's a question I hadn't given much thought to (and I'm guessing I'm not the only one) until Slate posted it: Why don't single sitcom characters date online? Everyone and their mother (quite literally) is doing it in real life, so why haven't televisions shows jumped on the bandwagon?

Earlier this month, The Mindy Project used mobile dating as a marketing device. Tinder users swiping through profiles could come across two fictional characters from the show, which would then direct to videos promoting the sitcom if they made a match. It's was a clever marketing gimmick, and relatively unobtrusive for a generation of people who have grown accustomed to seeing ads everywhere. But it begs the question: why is Mindy on Tinder, but Tinder isn't on The Mindy Project?

"In two seasons of casual dating," writes Amanda Hess for Slate, "Mindy's been set up on a blind date; she's met suitors on the subway, in her office building, in the hospital, and on the street; and she once even unwittingly employed the services of a male escort. But she's yet to locate a date through her phone." New Girl, How I Met Your Mother, and Parks and Recreation have all featured online dating, but only as a one-off, single episode gimmick.

What gives? In real life, we'd be looking for love online or on our phones at least once an episode, not once in an entire series. Could it somehow be that we're doing away with the online dating stigma everywhere but on television? Are sitcoms just totally out of touch with modern dating?

Slate says there's another way of looking at it: "Sitcoms and dating sites are both built to organize our messy romantic lives by corralling our desires into neat narratives. Sitcoms offer an unrealistic version of modern singledom, but so do online dating services." Sitcom characters have a team of writers controlling the narrative structure of their dating lives, while those of us who live nonfictional lives require technology companies to provide a script for us.

Expect to see more online dating on your screen soon, however. Bravo plans to launch a show called "Online Dating Rituals of the American Male" in spring. The series will follow a cast of men in their search for love (or whatever else they're looking for) online. The hope is that it will provide an insider's perspective on the male psyche and dating in the digital age.

Being on Bravo, it's bound to be a sensationalized, over the top, drama fest of a show, but maybe it's still a step in the right direction.

Much has been said about online dating's transition from stigmatized service used only in the shadows to full-blown pop culture trend. The term "meteoric" has never been more appropriate. Online dating's rise to total world domination has been unprecedented...and we might have mobile to thank for that.

With the equally meteoric rise of mobile dating, online dating has become a social activity - one that people are happy to discuss in public in a way they've never been before. Tinder turned public perception of online dating on its head, especially for the young people who primarily make up its userbase.

It's not unusual to see friends using the app together, sharing images and messages amongst the group, or sending each other screenshots of especially notable Tinder chats. It's what people talk about on the bus, what they use to pass the time while waiting in long lines, and what they turn to when they're feeling awkward at a party. The online service is rapidly becoming integrated into our offline lives, and no one is embarrassed about it.

Though all online daters have benefited from the attitude adjustment that came along with Tinder, one group may be discovering some very important bonus benefits: women. Traditional thinkers say that women only want relationships - they're not interested in casual dating and would never judge someone on appearances alone. Yet 45% of Tinder users are women, and they seem perfectly comfortable with the app's low-commitment approach to relationships and reliance on physical appearance.

Tinder's non-profile profile offers up very little information (all culled from Facebook) about users, meaning it disproves a second common stereotype: that, unlike superficial men, women require detailed information about men before deciding if they're interested. The stripped down profile also prevents users from feeling exposed in an uncomfortable way they might on an online dating site. If you haven't spent hours on a meticulously crafted profile that digs into the heart of the "real you," rejection hardly feels like rejection.

There's also the message problem. Female users on online dating sites are famously bombarded with messages from admirers, an overwhelming experience that turns many off from online dating as a whole. But Tinder users can only receive messages from people they've indicated an interest in, and the app doesn't allow users to send photos (meaning unsolicited scandalous pics are kept at bay). It's a perfect solution.

And then there's the final plus of Tinder: it's fun. It manages to be silly, exciting, intriguing, and socially acceptable at the same time. Online dating has yet to crack that code.