Advice

Luckily, we live in the age of technology – so if you forgot to make plans for Valentine’s Day (and unfortunately it lands on a Saturday this year) – you might want to look to the app store for help.

If you are looking for a last-minute gift or card, here are some apps to try:

Red Stamp Cards - Need a thoughtful Valentine's Day card in a hurry? Snap a photo and you can quickly create a unique card for your Valentine with this free app. Cards can be tweeted, texted, emailed or posted to Instagram and Facebook.

BloomThat - If you forgot to order flowers and the local grocery store’s selection looks a little tired, this app can help you out of a last-minute problem. (And they can deliver their hand-crafted bouquets via bicycle in under 90 minutes, as opposed to florists where there is an 8-hour delivery window.) For iPhone users only.

Online dating is all about first impressions. After all, there’s a big pool of daters out there – if someone doesn’t interest you or work out from the start, there’s plenty more to meet! You might think - why waste time with someone who didn’t text back right away, acted nervous throughout the night, or canceled your first date three times? No thanks!

But what happens when you are the one who wants a do-over?

Sometimes, you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. But if you do, it’s important to own your mistakes – and try to improve upon them. I’ve provided two real-life examples, though some of the details I changed for privacy’s sake:

Drinking Disaster

Jessica met Ryan over Tinder, and they immediately hit it off. After a few drinks Jessica was feeling bold and started flirting heavily, something she usually doesn’t do. Then she leaned in for the kiss, biting down hard on his lip. He was wondering what to do as his mouth started throbbing. Jessica suggested taking off to her place, but not before she fell over trying to get down from her barstool. She made it outside before throwing up. Ryan helped her to a cab and sent her home by herself – and the whole experience turned him off Tinder for a while.

Two weeks later, he got a text from Jessica apologizing for her behavior and asking if she could get a second chance. “I didn’t really see the point, but we did have good chemistry so eventually I agreed. I needed to find out who she really was.” This time, she didn’t drink and took her time instead of giving in to the chemistry. Two months later, they’re still dating. He was able to look past her initial behavior after he got to know the real Jessica.

Questionable comment

Stacey saw Jake’s picture on an online dating site, and decided to contact him. They had a few exchanges, but something he said in passing really bothered Stacey so she stopped communicating. When she went back to the same dating site a few weeks later, he still popped up as one of her matches, so she decided to give him a second chance. After rescheduling their date three times because Stacy’s work got too busy, Jake was annoyed, but still agreed to meet her. When they did meet, they clicked.

After talking to him in person, Stacey realized that she had misunderstood Jake initially because she had taken his online response the wrong way. If she hadn’t given him another chance to prove himself – and if he had given up on meeting her after cancelling so many times – they never would have connected and fallen in love. His good heart won her over, and they have been dating ever since.

Have you turned someone down because of a first impression? Maybe it’s time to give someone a second chance.

Single Man, Married Man – a new book written by a group of men specifically for single women – proclaims to offer brutally honest advice for women who are looking to get hitched.

The book has outraged many feminists, and for good reason. Some of the advice offered in the book includes this as fact: “all men” want to get married – if they tell you otherwise, they are “lying.” Another piece of advice from one of the book’s single authors: “No matter where a woman is in life, she should always be able to cater to her man’s needs.” A divorced co-author advises that when a man gets his ego stroked, he will be more inclined to love you.

The book also offers reasons why a man you are dating isn’t taking the relationship to the next level – namely, that it’s your fault. One author writes: “It takes a lot to hold their attention, and men tend to lose interest in romantic partners when they stop being, well... interesting.”

In other words, women need to start giving more massages, complaining less, and stroking their guys’ egos a lot more often. Then they will more likely convince their men to put a ring on it. (Speaking of Beyonce, one of the writers even suggests keeping Destiny’s Child’s “Cater 2 U” on repeat on your playlist).

The book is certainly gaining a lot of attention in the press because of its apparent sexism, and its authors maintain that it is “brutally honest” because they want to help women. Two of the main authors spent three years interviewing more than 300 men online and in person to arrive at their conclusions, so they stand by them.

So what does this mean? Should women take a step back and consider catering more to the men in their lives? Or should the guys who authored this book admit that creating a controversial book would help them sell more copies?

The truth is, no matter how many people you interview, or how much research you do, or how many coaching sessions you conduct, dating is still mysterious and fickle for everyone. Some tactics work with some people, others don’t. Some people have chemistry together, others don’t. You can’t force a relationship to move forward if that’s not what it is meant to do. There are no tricks. Dating is much more nuanced and individual. Blanket advice of how each gender should behave doesn’t really move the conversation – or the dating scene itself - forward.

So as much as we take dating advice from many sources, we should also be discerning. If something doesn’t feel right to you, pay attention. If you’re working too hard to try and “make things work” with your current love, maybe it is time to let go. To find out more about the book "Single Man, Married Man" you can check out the authors website.

Story time: I once knew a couple with an elaborate story about how they met in a bar in New York City's East Village. Except none of it was true. They had actually met on a dating site, but were too embarrassed to tell people – even most of their friends – that they'd met online.

It always baffled me. Are we really still having this discussion? How is it possible that the infamous online dating stigma is still clinging to life?

Despite the fact that most people have tried online dating and/or know someone who did, it appears there's still something of a dark cloud hovering over it. And it's ridiculous. It's time for a big wind to blow through and send that cloud packing.

Thing is... you're the wind. We all are. That cloud isn't going anywhere until we take a stand and send it on its way. The next time someone asks where you met your partner or whether you've ever tried a dating service, it's your responsibility to be honest. Here's why:

• Because you did. Let's just start with the most obvious reason, ok? You did it. Own up to it like the adult you are. The only reason you should ever need to be honest about something is because it's true.
• Because it shouldn't matter what other people think. Why devote time to worrying about what your co-worker thinks when you could spend that time being in love with your awesome partner? Hello, priorities. Own who you are and own your decisions.
• Because everyone is doing it. Maybe they aren't all being upfront about it, but they're all doing it. They've at least tried it, when they were drunk and curiosity got the better of them. If it's everyone's deep dark secret, it really shouldn't be anyone's deep dark secret. We all have a responsibility to get over our embarrassment.
• Because there are way more embarrassing ways to meet. Meeting online is a smart, sane option in 2015. There are way crazier, way stupider, way more embarrassing ways you could have met your partner. I won't specify, but I'm sure your imagination can fill in the blanks with some pretty deranged stuff.
• Because all you need is love. By which I mean, you have found someone amazing and you love them – that is the most important part of the story. What could possibly trump that? Almost anything flies (even most of the stuff you came up with for the last point) when the end result is people in love.

Cloud, your days are numbered.

Dating can be fun, but it can also be confusing and even a bit demoralizing. Regardless of whether you meet someone online, on Tinder, or sitting next to you at the bar, you can have an instant connection. And that connection can also go wrong if you don’t adhere to a few simple rules of good behavior.

I don’t mean The Rules, as in playing hard-to-get. I mean that despite the pull of chemistry between two people, there is still the fact that you two don’t know each other, and so it only benefits you to be on your best behavior.

If you’ve ever had one too many drinks and fallen down from the bar stool you’ve been perched on next to your date, or gone off on a political rant in the middle of a nice conversation, you might know a little about making a mistake that you regret because it cost you a future date.

Following are some guidelines in how to avoid a dating disaster (and moving on if it’s already happened):

Curb your drinking. This might seem obvious, but many people like to have a drink or two to “loosen up.” Know your tolerance before you consume. A few drinks can quickly turn bad – like if you suddenly feel sick and have to leave before you throw up on your date, or you can’t remember what happened past driving home in an Uber. There’s nothing sexy or appealing about dating a drunk stranger, so know your limits.

Avoid touchy subjects. Although politics is your passion, it’s good to avoid talking about Congress on a first date when you don’t know each other. Your date could mistake your passion for self-righteousness, especially if you try to convince him that you’re right. Instead of getting carried away with an argument, try stepping back, asking questions, and listening. This can quickly turn the conversation around.

Don’t get sexual right away. Despite all of the pick-up artists’ proclamations, women generally don’t like it when a guy comes on too strong, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Recognize that most women get hit on when they online date, and they don’t appreciate it – especially from a stranger. Instead of trying to seduce her, get to know her. That is a sure way to guarantee a second date.

Acknowledge and move on. We’ve all made embarrassing mistakes, especially while dating. There’s no reason to continue to beat yourself up over mistakes of the past – instead, acknowledge what happened, see what you can do differently, and move on. Regret has no place in future relationships.

Did you make out with your boss at the company holiday party? Or hook up with the guy in the next cubicle after a happy hour? Or maybe you have secretly been pining for a hot co-worker who you don’t know well, except for brief flirtations over Snapchat or Whisper.

If any of these scenarios make you squirm a little in your chair, you might be grappling with the age-old question of – should I or shouldn’t I? – when it comes to dating a co-worker.

It’s easy to understand why people would form romantic attachments to their fellow colleagues and bosses. After all, you spend most of your days with them, you work on projects together, and you bond over coffee breaks and happy hours. They are in a sense like another family. But what happens when you cross that line and start entering relationship territory, even if it’s all in secret from your other co-workers?

Following are some things to keep in mind before you take that next step:

Stay away from the hierarchy. If you are interested in your boss or a subordinate employee, you are treading dangerous ground. Most company policies have rules against this, because it can lead to unfair workplace advantages (or at least the perception of them among the other employees). Instead of throwing caution to the wind, look elsewhere – for another love interest or another job.

Understand the consequences. This might sounds harsh, but if the relationship ends, do you want to keep working next to your ex? Do you want to hear about his new relationship? If you can’t handle the idea of seeing your ex on a daily basis, then you might want to reconsider the relationship.

Think of career ambitions. Are you willing to quit your job and find another? Sometimes when office relationships don’t work out, it can mean problems for your career. If you’re in a specialized field with limited job opportunities, it would be better to look outside of work for a relationship.

Does the relationship have long or short-term potential? You might be in the heat of passion, but this doesn’t mean it’s good for you in the long run. Maybe you worked for hours together on a project and it created intimacy between you. It’s hard to let go of that – but ask yourself: do you have other things to talk about besides work? Are there other areas of your life that intersect? This makes all the difference in its success. If you are only caught up in the heat of the moment, it will pass. So choose your moves wisely.