How to Avoid a Dating Disaster

Dating can be fun, but it can also be confusing and even a bit demoralizing. Regardless of whether you meet someone online, on Tinder, or sitting next to you at the bar, you can have an instant connection. And that connection can also go wrong if you don’t adhere to a few simple rules of good behavior.

I don’t mean The Rules, as in playing hard-to-get. I mean that despite the pull of chemistry between two people, there is still the fact that you two don’t know each other, and so it only benefits you to be on your best behavior.

If you’ve ever had one too many drinks and fallen down from the bar stool you’ve been perched on next to your date, or gone off on a political rant in the middle of a nice conversation, you might know a little about making a mistake that you regret because it cost you a future date.

Following are some guidelines in how to avoid a dating disaster (and moving on if it’s already happened):

Curb your drinking. This might seem obvious, but many people like to have a drink or two to “loosen up.” Know your tolerance before you consume. A few drinks can quickly turn bad – like if you suddenly feel sick and have to leave before you throw up on your date, or you can’t remember what happened past driving home in an Uber. There’s nothing sexy or appealing about dating a drunk stranger, so know your limits.

Avoid touchy subjects. Although politics is your passion, it’s good to avoid talking about Congress on a first date when you don’t know each other. Your date could mistake your passion for self-righteousness, especially if you try to convince him that you’re right. Instead of getting carried away with an argument, try stepping back, asking questions, and listening. This can quickly turn the conversation around.

Don’t get sexual right away. Despite all of the pick-up artists’ proclamations, women generally don’t like it when a guy comes on too strong, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Recognize that most women get hit on when they online date, and they don’t appreciate it – especially from a stranger. Instead of trying to seduce her, get to know her. That is a sure way to guarantee a second date.

Acknowledge and move on. We’ve all made embarrassing mistakes, especially while dating. There’s no reason to continue to beat yourself up over mistakes of the past – instead, acknowledge what happened, see what you can do differently, and move on. Regret has no place in future relationships.