Dating

An independent film called Single: a documentary film was released recently which looks at the lives at some of the 100 million Americans who are single. While I haven't seen the movie, there is a trailer available. The trailer runs over 4 minutes and it does give a good impression of what the film is about.

The website Tin Ape, did a review of this film in which they summarized:

Single delves into a plethora of issues about being single in America, from the role of the burgeoning independence of women to the social stigma of men, all backed up by the candid testimonies of single 30 somethings and knowledgeable sociologists.

Tin Ape also mentions:

The film also does not attempt to solve the “problem” of being single.

This is a different spin from most of the other media available on singles found on the internet. Most similar type of videos or articles tend to try and help the "single" become a "couple" which inadvertently casts a negative light on being single. The movie is available for purchase on their website for $14.95 US.

See the full film review at Tin Ape and the website for the actual movie can be found here.

Apparently men in America using online dating sites to find woman living in other countries could be breaking a federal law. The law is called the "Marriage Broker Regulation Act" (IMBRA) and requires men who use a fee-based dating site to submit to a criminal background check, a sex offender check and must certify all previous convictions or arrests, marriages, divorces and children. An online dating service not compliant with the legislation can be sued for $5 thousand to $25 thousand and the dating service executives could face up to 5 years in prison. There is no law dealing with the woman US men may meet or US woman meeting foreign men through a dating service.

As stated in the article, the reason for the creation of the IMBRA is:

Moneyhighstreet.com posted a news item about the costs of dating in Britain. In it they refer to the NS&I Quarterly Savings Survey in which men believe they pay on average 60% more than women on dating in a year. In total British men expect to pay about £12 billion on dating this year with woman only spending £4.5 billion. This translates to about £50 per date for men and close to £30 for woman.

Across the pond, I think these statistics hold true here in North America. Most dating men I know spend about $100 on a typical date. This includes the cab ride, dinner and usually a movie afterwards. Of course, more and more woman are picking up the tab but in most cases it's still the mans job to pay (at least in my age group mid 30's). I wonder if this is different for the 20 somethings?

CNN's Living section has a good article on dating and sex for singles 50 years or older. The author talks about how a lot of senior singles are looking more for companionship than marriage at this age. Sometimes sex may or may not be an option for the person. More than 35% of Americans, over 50 are single. These singles have been either separated, divorced, widowed or never even been married. Among with interesting statistics a number of senior related web sites are mentioned as being popular with people over 50. These include travel programs, volunteer programs, sports programs and online dating and social networking sites. Several of the sites mentioned are reviewed on our site, including, Match.com, SeniorFriendFinder.com and eHarmony.com. You can also check out our own Dating Over 50 category for more senior related dating services.

Read the article Sex and dating after 50 at CNN.

The Sugar Daddy Sugar Baby relationship has for many years been regarded as a source of amusement to those who have never experienced the benefit. Yes, everyone loves to be spoiled and pampered, but is it really necessary to include the age gap as part of the package?

It's true to say that many young men, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence takes control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For instance it's quite common for young men still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the 'hots' for one or more of their female teachers, neighbor's wife or even a pal's mother.

The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based around the fact that she has experience.. a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.

Although there are exceptions, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.

However, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the mature female wanes, and on reaching middle age, will frequently have his head 'turned' by a much younger woman.

All this is in stark contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young girl, on first becoming sexually aware, will hone her intimacy skill on the younger male, but she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?

The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a guy around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to show her.

It's a valid point that women are more mature than men at any given age, and its not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and left guys her own age, far behind both mentally and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of displaying public affection, holding her hand or opening doors for her. Happy to allow the whole world see how proud he is to be by her side.

Sexually too, he may not be an athlete between the sheets, yet he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her "the best seventeen seconds she's ever had", before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older guy, the foreplay will begin in the restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, the passion may have subsided but the emotion still very much alive.

The term 'Sugar Daddy' was first used in the early 1920's and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as "A wealthy older man who gives a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy". The sugar in this term alluded to the sweetening role of the gifts, and daddy to the age difference between the pair. There is no mention of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could find happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?

Let's face it; dating is never easy (unless you're George Clooney and well, you're not). God created Eve for Adam; one woman for one man. Unfortunately, now there are a million more Adams fighting for that one Eve. The only way to win this 'Singles War' is to be ready for battle. Lock and load, gentlemen. Here are 10 basic rules that can take you from being that guy' to her guy'.

No False Advertising

Your profile picture is the first thing we look at. If you haven't posted your picture, do it. And no, we don't want to see your prom picture from 1987 (even though that was a good year). Make sure the picture is of you only and not of you and some hot girl. We already know you are a heterosexual man no need to prove it. We're here to meet you, not your favorite Hooters girl.

Be Creative

Women like men who think outside the box. So spice up that profile of yours. Put in a funny quirk about yourself or a quote from your favorite relative. No novels, please. We want to get some idea who you are, not read 'War and Peace.' Once you've set your date, be sure to make a plan. Take it up a notch up from coffee. As my comedienne friend, Chelsea Handler, says, "What's a coffee date gonna lead to? A piggy-back ride?" Some good date ideas are a picnic in the park, a day at a local art fair, or a sporting event.

Humor is Hot

Though the number-one thing a girl desires in a guy is a sense of humor, we're not looking for Josh, the JDate Jokester. Women want someone light-hearted whom they can enjoy being around. A man who can laugh at himself is very sexy, so don't take yourself so seriously. And please please please…. do not quote Seinfeld. We know that it's your favorite show, but if we want to re-visit the "Contest" episode, we'll buy the DVD.

Dress to Impress

Girls put an effort into getting ready for you. You should do the same. You don't have to look like you stepped off the runways of Milan, but be aware of what's in style. Acid-washed jeans are never a good idea unless you're a drummer in a hair metal band. The sockless thing may have worked for Don Johnson, but times have changed. Finally, leave the Drakkar and man jewelry at home. Women don't like to be out-scented or accessorized.

Have Game

Be confident, but don't act too cocky. Make eye contact. A man who looks at the ground is either insecure or a serial killer. Keep the conversation about yourself to a minimum. Ask questions about your date. Be complimentary, but don't overdo it. Conversation topics like "How many JDates I've had this week" or "How I spent five grand on my new plasma TV" are not attractive. Don't flirt with the waitress. If you have a wandering eye and we catch you in the act, it's best to fake a seizure.

Edit Button

We want you to be open and honest. However, on the first date, you might want to keep the "why I hate my ex-wife" discussions to a minimum. I once went out with a guy who told me his last girlfriend was an adult film star. All I kept imagining was him at the AVN awards clapping for his girlfriend, Cherry Blossoms, who had just won for her work in "Sodomania II." Oh, and FYI, keep the details of your sexual proclivities to yourself. If we want to learn more, we'll let you know. Subtly.

Mind Your Manners

Please be on time and if you're going to be late, just call. Open the car door for her. Pull her seat out. Turn your cell phone off. If you are meeting her somewhere, offer to pay for her valet. If you are driving her home, walk her to the door. Most importantly, if it's your first date, GRAB THE CHECK. Most women today will offer to pay, but we are just testing you. Make sure you get an A+.

Keep It Clean

You don't have to be a neat freak, but make sure your place looks presentable when inviting a girl in. We know you weren't on "Extreme Home Makeover," but we don't want to see the aftermath of Hurricane Francis either. Just get rid of all the empty beer bottles and Chinese food from the night before and put all your "Playboys" in a drawer for safekeeping.

No Eager Beavers

We're looking for a man, not a stalker. Court the girl, be attentive, but try not to overstay your welcome. There is nothing worse than the guy who won't go away. It's like getting up at the curtain of a bad musical, only to find out there are three more acts left. My friend Kimmie once had a guy tell her on their second date, "I think I'm falling in love with you." Needless to say, she ran like Forrest Gump.

Follow Through

The rules for the movie "Swingers" don't apply anymore. If you are truly interested, you will call the next day. No 3-10 day waiting period. Really into her? Make a plan for a second date at the end of your first date. That lets her know you mean business. Once you start seeing the girl, don't pull a bad magic act where you appear and disappear at your own convenience. We notice the minute you show disinterest, and most of us won't wait around for you to come back.

Okay, soldiers use this knowledge as your secret weapon. Now, go get that girl!