Dating

First dates can be stressful – especially if they are first dates with someone you met on an online dating site! Even if they are with someone you’ve already met face-to-face, there is still the pressure to…well, perform! Be on your best behavior. WOW them. (Even reading that sounds exhausting, right?) And we’ve all been there: we are fifteen to thirty minutes into a date…and there is nothing. No spark. Maybe just an inkling of “like.” What do you do? Your friends have told you to stop ruling people out so quickly. They’re encouraged you to give everyone at least two dates before you show them the door. But should you?

The Case for the Two Date Rule

I don’t know about you, but I’ve left more first dates feeling as if I’ve flubbed them completely. I never said the right thing, I laughed too much, talked too much, ate too little, stayed too long. The list goes on. I’ll venture to say that many of my dates have thought the same thing.

When you’re on a first date, it’s bad enough if you’ve set a date that is more than just a casual encounter. You’re both so nervous that it’s a miracle if you can even figure out if you share common interests much less cab fare. First dates are the stuff that dating horror stories are made of and I know you have a few of your own.

You’re going out. You’re excited. You can’t wait!

But where do you go? First dates are stressful enough as it is without having to worry about the where, right? Take the venue stress off your plate with these five simple first date destination tips. There’s certain to be something in this list to suit every personality. Planning a first date doesn’t have to be rocket science – spend your time working on chemistry instead!

Museum Exhibit

If you’re ever at a loss for something to talk about, start with the dinosaurs! Seriously – if you’re a history buff or art enthusiast, check out the local museum. Walking around will make you feel like you’re doing something. The exhibit will give you prompts for things to talk about. If the date isn’t going well, you can gaze at exhibits in silence!

With the holidays just around the corner, it is not uncommon to start thinking about that dreaded question: what kind of gift should I get for my new boyfriend or girlfriend? Well, never fret! There’s the perfect gift solution for those couples who are “newly dating.”

You should never feel pressured to spend outside your means when it comes to the holidays. This is especially true if you’re been with your partner less than six months. If your partner is with you for material reasons, best to find another partner now and buy yourself something cool than waste any more time on someone more interested in your bottom line than you.

When you’re “newly dating,” that’s not the time for expensive electronics or pricey jewelry. It is, however, a great time for you to let your partner know that you value their place in your life and went to the effort of getting something that suited their personality. Skip the stuffed animals and Wii video game systems. It’s not Valentine’s Day and you’re not a bank.

Here are some perfect gift suggestions for all you “newly dating” folk that should get you through the holidays is style – and still in love!

The eHarmony Blog wrote a piece about how cooperation in the pursuit of love gives singles an edge in dating. The eHarmony post is based on research published in this month's Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (PSPB) which we talked about previously in October (see Story).

As mentioned in our previous post the research that the PSPB published shows women groups tend to cooperate to repel unsuitable mates. Whereas men tend to help each other to gain access to desirable women.

eHarmony did add a few interesting points. Apparently if you are a guy, your best wingman probably are a group of women. Information from a woman about a man is usually better received by another woman. What also is true is, if the guy is surrounded by women, this sends a signal to other women who may be interested in the guy that he is accepted and acceptable.

Further reading reveals that all of these strategies are usually used in the presence of friends, instead of family and strangers.

For more information on the popular dating site mentioned in this post, read our review of eHarmony.

British scientists think they have found a reason why some women prefer a more feminine featured man like Orlando Bloom when compared to a macho men like the current James Bond actor, Daniel Craig. Researchers found in a study that was published in the Trends in Ecology and Evolution medical journal, that women who are on the contraceptive pill (when hormones are chemically controlled) are less likely to seek out more rugged and muscular men. When women are ovulating and not on the birth control pill, they tend to prefer a more masculine man and one who shows dominance.

I wonder, if specifying if you are on the birth control pill should be an option in a dating profile? 😉

We first learned about the study to find which gender is pickier when it comes to dating in July (see Story). In an article from Live Science we learned a few more details about this speed dating study by Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of Northwestern University.

The studies participants were 350 college students who were divided into 15 speed dating events. Each student went on 4 minute speed dates with about 12 singles of the opposite sex. After each mini date, each student would rate:

• How much self confidence they felt.
• Romantic desire for the person on the date.
• The romantic chemistry that the participant felt existed between them.
• Would you like to see this person again?

After the data was compiled from the speed dating events, it was found that the daters who rotated around the room to each participant who was sitting, that they experienced greater romantic desire and chemistry. This means the people who went from person to person were less selective than the person sitting waiting for the next date in the rotation. The study further confirmed that this fact was true for both men and women. Finkel & Eastwick concluded that it was the act of approaching, or being approached by a person, which determined who was more likely to be more selective in determining a partner.

If speed dating is of interest to you, check out our Speed Dating Services category for all dating sites that offer online and off speed dating events near you.