Dating

Sometimes, it’s just difficult to meet someone in your own small town, and you’ve turned to online dating to broaden your search. Or maybe you did meet someone by chance, but they live on the other side of the country - or the world. Suddenly you’ve become thrust into a very specific kind of dating: the long-distance relationship. Though many consider a long distance to be the death knell for relationships, in fact many have led to successful, long-term partnerships. If you’re considering a long-distance relationship, it’s important to be aware of what you’re getting yourself into; all the pros and cons.

When you’re dealing with a long-distance relationship, it’s important to be practical. Adjustments are hard enough without assuming that everything will be unicorns and rainbows. Yes, you will probably spend more money on things that are less gratifying - gas, plane tickets and visas, for example - than presents and dates. Yes, the physical aspects of your relationship will be few and far-between. Though video chat does considerably lessen the feelings of distance, you’ll still have to inherently trust your partner, more and earlier. And that’s hard, especially when a practical person does have to realize that distance makes it easier to dupe someone, too.

However, long-distance relationships are not all gloom and doom. For one thing, having to make sacrifices early and often for a relationship really encourages those “adult,” “where-do-we-stand” conversations. Partners in a long-distance relationship essentially have to be on the same page for it to work. Secondly, most long-distance relationships have closing that distance as their end goal; instead of the endless limbo of dating someone because of convenience, things will either work out or they won’t - probably on a shorter timeline. And finally, working together to overcome a common goal - the distance between you - can contribute to the bonding experience.

But be aware of the traps that lurk in long-distance relationships! First and foremost is bitterness and resentment. These are toxic in the most stable of relationships, but they breed more easily when one of you has to give up your job, home, and life to move to the other one’s location. If you don’t want to do it, maybe it just won’t work out. That’s better than making the move, resenting your partner and eventually breaking up anyway.

Another hurdle is the opinions of friends and family. Be prepared for many raised eyebrows and pointed questions. Remember that though they may seem nosy or unhelpful, most of these questions come from a place of concern and love. Don’t create enemies, especially when you might either leave or be trying to integrate someone new into your family soon. And it doesn’t hurt to consider their views, either; sometimes love can blind us to red flags.

With a combination of faith in your relationship and practical attention to detail, it’s entirely possible to turn your long-distance relationship into a long-lasting (and up-close and personal) partnership. It might not be something you want to enter lightly, but the rewards can be well worth it.

Many of you attended a party or two during Halloween weekend. If you met someone you found interesting and would like to see him again, how do you follow up? Do you Facebook friend him, call him, or wait until he makes contact?

There are many “rules” for dating protocol here, created mostly for the sake of keeping a guy interested. I’m not a big fan of rules. I prefer taking chances. After all, risk can equal reward, right? Here are a few things to bear in mind when deciding whether to make the next move.

First, consider how you left things with your love interest. Did he say he would call you, or did you agree to more firm plans? If you parted ways by leaving him your phone number, it’s up to him to call. But don’t sit around and wait for it---keep attending networking mixers and online dating. Keeping yourself busy helps you keep your perspective. Remember, even if you liked him, there are plenty of other guys out there if he isn't for you.

Did you know that your dating preferences are often determined by strangers? While according to a new research it can be. In a Indiana University study of 80 people with half being women (and obviously the other half being men) it was found that overall if someone is considered attractive by someone else of the same sex, your attraction for that person will most likely increase. This will only happen once you find out about this attraction though. This observation was the same for both men and women.

On the flip side, interest in the person would subside if it was found that other people were not as attracted to the person. The study was conducted in part by allowing the participants to watch 8 speed dating sessions.

For more on the story, read the US News.

Don’t signal the waiter for the check

You might be on a date and having a terrible time. When that happens, you want to leave as soon as possible. But, just because the date isn’t going well doesn’t mean you should hurt his feelings by asking for the check. No matter how bad the date is, the guy doesn’t deserve to be left mid-meal.

Don’t be irritating and ask for a different table

Don’t you hate it when you are seated in the back at a bad table? I certainly do. However, there’s no excuse that allows you to change tables. You don’t want your date to think you are extremely difficult, so stay where you are.

Don’t order something too expensive

If you choose the most expensive entree on the menu, your date is going to get the wrong idea. He might even think you’re after his money. You don’t want him to be offended and think you are rude. So, order something reasonably priced. Your date will silently thank you when the check comes.

Using Facebook as a dating tool can be complicated if you do not watch what you doing. In many ways it's great, especially in the beginning. You have all these friends, and friends of friends that can vouch for you that you are a great guy or gal. This makes meeting people easy to do.

There is also a downside to using Facebook like a dating site. Here are 3:

1. Relationships and Breakups Are Public

The main problem with Facebook and dating is, it is public. Sure you can now hide information from your friends and dates but it can get extremely complicated to do with all the privacy rules which only a dedicated Facebook expert is going to know how to use. Every step of a relationship on Facebook is public from changing your relationship status (and hoping your partner reciprocates) to the banter that goes back and forth between people who have just discovered love. On the other end, breakups are just as public and can lead to some embarrassing moments for all involved.

No one is perfect. If we were all flawless, dating wouldn’t be as fun. I know I make a million mistakes on dates and I share them with my girlfriends so we can all laugh about them afterwards. Half the fun of dating is the stories you get to tell your friends.

1. Stay Away From Your Phone

The biggest mistake women make on a date is using their cell phones. When you’re on a date, your cell phone should stay in your bag. A guy doesn't want to sit across from you if you’re on your phone the entire time. He wants your full attention.

2. No One Cares About Your Ex

Sometimes women talk about their ex-boyfriends too much. You’re in the present, so focus on it. Your date wants to learn about you, he doesn’t care about your ex-boyfriends. If you want a future with someone, avoid bringing up your previous relationships.

3. Don’t Eat Like A Bird

When you go on a date, don’t order a salad. Men like women who enjoy eating. An appetite is sexy. When you order a salad on a date, you send out the wrong signal. Salads are like beans. They’re okay to eat when you’re alone or with a friend, but not on a date.