Advice

Your body, your clothing, your style, your knowledge, your skills, your passion...combined, these things are your personal brand.

I've already shared a few lessons from the business world, but here are a few more ways your love life could benefit from a personal brand overhaul:

• Don't be the Yes Man (or Woman). In business, the Yes Man is a pushover who agrees with everything a superior says, without judgment or criticism. The Yes Man is weak, subservient, predictable, vapid, ineffective...in short, the Yes Man is not someone you want to be on a date. Don't change who you are to become the person you think your date wants. Don't pretend to share things - hobbies, political beliefs, goals - that you don't actually share in an attempt to impress someone. Don't always arrange your plans around the other person. Have the confidence to be who you really are and ask for what you really want out of a relationship.
• Remember that basic etiquette applies. You wouldn't enter a meeting unprepared, looking like you just rolled out of bed, with a coffee stain spread over the front of your shirt. You wouldn't spend the meeting playing Angry Birds on your cell phone, or answering every text and call that interrupts the proceedings. In business meetings and on dates, put a little effort into your appearance. Be polite to everyone around you, like waitstaff and cab drivers. Don't check email, take calls, or send text messages until after the date is over, unless it's a clear emergency.
• Set a strong foundation for the future. Experts recommend sending a thank you note after a job interview, even if you're no longer interested in the position. Networking is key - you never know who might play an important role in your future, so it's always wise to maintain good relationships with as many people as possible. Dating is no different - treat your date well, even if you don't plan to see them again, and follow up once to end things maturely. Don't burn bridges, because you never know who may reappear in your life and what kind of interesting opportunities they might bring with them. Handle yourself in a way that reflects well on you and that date might go on to be a good friend, a future employer, or even a matchmaker!

If you're stuck in a rut, taking a few cues from the business world might be just what you need to take your love life to the next level.

Got branding?

In an ideal world, no one would ever need to lie on their online profiles. They would be confident that they would be judged as an entire package, not on the basis of one small statistic about themselves. Alas, it is not an ideal world, and people do, indeed, lie on their dating profiles, even if it’s a “white lie.” Here are some of the more frequently fudged facts, and why.

First, there’s age. Susan is a 36-year-old who absolutely cannot seem to find anyone in her own age bracket. “The only guys who message me are at least 45,” she says. “And when I messaged a 35-year-old guy, he told me I was hot and didn’t look my age, but he didn’t want to date an older woman!” When men hit their thirties and forties, often they set their automatic search parameters to someone younger - not even as old as their own age. Thus, a 35-year-old might set his cutoff at 33. For a woman who is interested in finding someone her own age, it can be frustrating. Rounding their age down to the nearest five is a common practice - not because they’re actually ashamed of it, but just so they actually show up in more searches.

Men are subjected to similar harsh and seemingly arbitrary requirements. However, for them it knows no age limit. Women of all ages frequently set their search parameters to search for tall men. Not just taller than they are, but tall, period. Maybe their cutoff is 5’10”, maybe it’s 6’0”. In many instances, this is a case of just not thinking their parameters through carefully - someone who’s 5’2” might not quibble too much, or even be able to tell, if a guy is 5’9” instead of 5’10”. But if they’ve got those searches set, the 5’9” guy won’t even be an option - so men tend to “grow” a few inches on dating profiles.

Both men and women get creative when it comes to their weight - but let’s face it, unless you’re the ideal weight for your height, hardly anyone is happy, whether they’re five pounds off or fifty. People squirm and hedge even when they don’t need to.

So it’s entirely possible that when you go on a first date, the woman might be older, the man might be shorter, and you both might be a little less in shape than you professed. What to do? Well, do what you’re meant to do from the very beginning - try to look at the entire package, not just one aspect. In most cases, when people lie, they aren’t bad people; they’re just looking to get a fair chance. If that’s the most dishonest they get, is that really so bad?

From the long-haired siren of the Starbucks logo, to the simple white lettering of the Facebook trademark, to the ubiquitous Nike swoosh, branding is everywhere. And though it might seem like the domain of marketing execs in Manhattan, the skyrocketing popularity of social networking and online dating sites has brought branding out of the office and into cyberspace.

We're taught never to judge a book by its cover, but let's be honest - packaging matters. If it didn't, dating profiles wouldn't be filled with lies about income and photos that are a decade old. Branding experts know that emphasizing your assets, whatever they are, is the key to selling a new brand of soda to the target market and making a powerful impression that distinguishes you from the millions of other singles looking for love online.

The field of personal branding is full of helpful lessons for the online dater:

• Put your best face forward. In the corporate world, this means dressing for success and hiring a crack PR team to maintain the company image. You don't need to employ a PR rep to maintain your online image, but it's worthwhile to invest a little time and effort in making sure that your profile represents you the way you want to be represented. Examine your photos carefully. How are you dressed? What are you doing? Who are you with? Are your answers consistent with the image you want to present to the world? Review your profile with the same idea in mind.
• Understand your target market. A toy salesman knows what children want. When it comes to your ideal match, you probably know what you want. But do you know what your match wants in a partner? Learn as much as you can about the kind of people you're interested in dating, and tailor your profile to appeal to them. When you start communicating with potential dates, ask questions and show genuine interest in getting to know them. When it's time to meet in person, go on a date that shows that you've listened to everything your date has told you and you value who they are as an individual.
• Make the first impression count. On a first date, take a few cues from job interviewing strategy. Dress well. Have a smile on your face as much as possible. Exude confidence. Use strong body language. Maintain eye contact.

What else can personal branding do for your love life? Continue on to part two...

In comedy, much of humor is actually pain. Slapstick, for instance, is literally pain, albeit over-the-top or silly. Even more common is situational comedy, which takes awkward or uncomfortable situations and finds the absurd humor in them. In short, it’s a pretty fine line between comedy and tragedy. And yet, we attempt to walk this fine line all the time, in the name of being funny.

If comedy and humor are integral parts of your personality, far be it from me to tell anyone to edit themselves. However, just as you might carefully select the joke you use at a funeral, at an angry policeman, or around your grandmother, so might you want to consider when you enter the world of dating.

First, there’s the profile for whatever dating site you choose. It’s been stated time and time again, but it could use a reprise - humor doesn’t always translate well on the internet, particularly when you’re dealing with sarcasm. In person, you use your voice, your facial expression, everything else about you to soften the blow of a harsh remark. Even the most dry and deadpan deliveries usually have some sort of cue to indicate that it’s humor, either before or after. Text is a different medium, with a different set of cues.

“Well, fine,” you might be thinking to yourself. “I’ll tone down the humor on my profile, and then wow my date in person.” And you might very well be right. After all, lots of people are funny - really funny. Just two points to consider, I beg of you.

First, remember that one oft-used phrase in the comedy business is “know your audience.” And you really don’t, yet. So tread carefully. That long anecdote about that self-absorbed actress-wannabe waitress you had might be hilarious - or it might not if your date was once an actress-waitress. In person it will be even easier to suss out your date’s sense of humor, so you might want to wait until after your first date - or until after you get a better handle on the situation - to really try to make them laugh.

Which brings me to point number two: You’re looking for a good match, not an eager audience. Don’t get so caught up in performing that you forget to actually get to know your date, and allow them to get to know you. It’s easy for many to hide behind humor, but it can be exhausting, both for them and their partners. You’re looking for someone who appreciates all aspects of you, not just the funny parts. So relax, and attempt to be yourself. Chances are, that’s just funny enough.

Earth Day may have been two months ago, but that's no reason to stop thinking about how your love life affects the planet. Maybe you're clueless when it comes to reducing your impact on the environment, or maybe you already consider yourself an eco warrior. Either way, making your love life a little greener is easier than you think:

• Find fellow Greenies on eco-dating sites. These days, there's a niche dating site for pretty much everyone, and daters who have dedicated themselves to going green are no exception. Check out sites like Green Passions and Ecodater to find fellow environmentally-friendly singles.
• Make your dates eco-friendly from start to finish. Prepare for your date by primping with paraben-free products made from USDA-certified organic ingredients, and choose restaurants that serve food that is organic and locally grown. Use public transportation, ride a bike, or take a walk to meet your date, and leave the car at home.
• Go on dates that have a positive impact on the planet. Dinner and a movie is overdone - try volunteering at a community garden instead. Volunteering to help with a green cause is a unique bonding experience and a chance to learn about more ways you can reduce your impact on Mother Earth.
• When it's time to take things to the next level, wear "low-impact lingerie." Low-impact lingerie is made from materials grown without pesticides - like organic cotton - and produced by workers who are paid a fair wage.
• Spice things up in the bedroom using natural aphrodisiacs. Cassanova chowed down on oysters and so should you - oysters contain high amounts of zinc, a precursor of testosterone.
• Take a trip together without leaving a carbon footprint the size of Bigfoot's. The popularity of eco-tourism is skyrocketing. Pack your bags responsibly, and use airlines that offer the option to apply a portion of your fare to investing in renewable energy or other green initiatives.
• Go green when you move in together. Decorate your love nest with no-VOC paint and beeswax or non-GMO soy candles. Outfit the bedroom with sustainable bedding made from organic cotton, bamboo, or hemp linens, and a natural latex mattress. Replace incandescent lightbulbs with more energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulbs. Consider taking showers together and revamping your personal care routine so that it includes natural and organic products.

If your love life is not sustainable, it's time for an eco-overhaul.

Many of us take dating personally. After all, it’s about vulnerability and intimacy, so how can you not?

It’s difficult when we’ve been rejected to resist second-guessing ourselves and the motivations of our dates. We scrutinize every move we made in great detail asking ourselves, “why did he not call back?” Conversely, we also get annoyed when we keep meeting people who aren’t right for us. We wonder: “why can’t I meet a nice, decent man/ woman?”

The key to dating successfully however, is to stop ourselves from taking the process of dating personally. This is true for every date, regardless of how well we think the date went and whether or not we want to see him or her again.

You may be wondering how it’s possible to detach ourselves from dating, when it’s all about forming an intimate bond with another person. The key is to understand that we can’t make assumptions when it comes to dating.

There could be a myriad of reasons he didn’t call back: maybe he wasn’t interested in you as you thought, or perhaps he’d just broken up with a girlfriend and wasn’t ready, or he’d just started dating someone else, or he misunderstood something you did or said in the course of the evening. It doesn’t matter. It’s up to you to move on, regardless of finding out what really happened.

After all, you’ve probably felt this way yourself: while your date seemed nice enough, you just didn’t feel that connection or spark. There’s no forcing the issue. You don’t want to go on a second date, and that’s ok. That doesn’t mean your date did something wrong. It also doesn’t mean that your next ten dates will lead nowhere. If you start thinking this way, it will inevitably come across to your dates in your energy and body language. It’s up to you to pick yourself up and move on, no matter how frustrated or disillusioned you think you’ve become.

If you have enjoyed a couple of dates with someone you find attractive, don’t expect an instant relationship. Keep dating other people until you both decide to be exclusive. If you put all of your expectations in one person before you or he is ready, it’s not likely to progress naturally and will end up going nowhere.

Bottom line: dating is a process so don’t make assumptions about what you or your dates are doing wrong, or how things should be progressing. Building a relationship takes time, so take the stress off yourself and recognize that not everyone is for you, and this is not your fault. Keep dating and love will happen.