Watch My Nose Grow

In an ideal world, no one would ever need to lie on their online profiles. They would be confident that they would be judged as an entire package, not on the basis of one small statistic about themselves. Alas, it is not an ideal world, and people do, indeed, lie on their dating profiles, even if it’s a “white lie.” Here are some of the more frequently fudged facts, and why.

First, there’s age. Susan is a 36-year-old who absolutely cannot seem to find anyone in her own age bracket. “The only guys who message me are at least 45,” she says. “And when I messaged a 35-year-old guy, he told me I was hot and didn’t look my age, but he didn’t want to date an older woman!” When men hit their thirties and forties, often they set their automatic search parameters to someone younger - not even as old as their own age. Thus, a 35-year-old might set his cutoff at 33. For a woman who is interested in finding someone her own age, it can be frustrating. Rounding their age down to the nearest five is a common practice - not because they’re actually ashamed of it, but just so they actually show up in more searches.

Men are subjected to similar harsh and seemingly arbitrary requirements. However, for them it knows no age limit. Women of all ages frequently set their search parameters to search for tall men. Not just taller than they are, but tall, period. Maybe their cutoff is 5’10”, maybe it’s 6’0”. In many instances, this is a case of just not thinking their parameters through carefully - someone who’s 5’2” might not quibble too much, or even be able to tell, if a guy is 5’9” instead of 5’10”. But if they’ve got those searches set, the 5’9” guy won’t even be an option - so men tend to “grow” a few inches on dating profiles.

Both men and women get creative when it comes to their weight - but let’s face it, unless you’re the ideal weight for your height, hardly anyone is happy, whether they’re five pounds off or fifty. People squirm and hedge even when they don’t need to.

So it’s entirely possible that when you go on a first date, the woman might be older, the man might be shorter, and you both might be a little less in shape than you professed. What to do? Well, do what you’re meant to do from the very beginning - try to look at the entire package, not just one aspect. In most cases, when people lie, they aren’t bad people; they’re just looking to get a fair chance. If that’s the most dishonest they get, is that really so bad?