Online Dating & Relationships Forums

Men who don't call back and disappear.

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Violet

Anonymous
What's wrong with men these days? Rolling Eyes

Sometimes they will just stop emailing me or if we do start phoning each other, after 1 or 2 calls they drop off the face of the earth. I have had a few instances where a man will call and I do not get the message until later, so I either call back or email telling them I was busy (or whatever the situation was) and then after that they don't respond anymore. Do these men think I am lying?

I have a child and work full time and I am also up front about this in my profile. Sometimes, there just is not time for chatting on the phone, to be honest.

Anyone else have these frustrations with dating online or am I alone on this?

Elsie

Anonymous
Yes, yes, yes! It's happened to me, even after meeting someone, and I empathize completely.

I've come to believe that this has a lot to do with the parallel dating that goes on when people use online dating sites. A guy (or a girl) will be dating two, three, four people at the same time, and when it starts to work out with one of them, the others are dropped with no explanation. Personally, I would far prefer that the guy would get in touch with me and briefly explain that things are getting serious with someone else. I certainly wouldn't try to change his mind or stop him from moving on, and I would have the peace of mind of knowing why he disappeared.

But that's just too emotionally demanding for most people, who will avoid confrontation like the plague. Actually, I see this as epidemic in our society at large, not just in the online dating world. Rather than be the bearer of bad news, lots of people will choose to take the easy way out and just go silent. Confused

AIMna2719

Anonymous
embarrassed
Yes, its happened to me even after a date with them! Men these days just seem to not believe in phone calls.

marathon tongue

Anonymous
I am a man, and when i don't call back that just means i'm not interested. Most likey the woman is not attractive enough. Or, if she's playing hard to get, i just date other women and make her wait.

When women don't call me back, it means they're not interested. But that's not the time to blame them, but rather see what i did wrong in not triggering attraction and change that next time.

As far as parallel dating, it happens all the time. That's why it's called dating. If a man has anything going for him, he gets at least one solid phone number a day not even going out of his way. Of course, most men these days got no balls, so it's the exception rather than the rule. On average, i go on four or five dates a week with four or five different women. I won't be able to call everyday. Deal with it.

Spirit

Anonymous
happy
You need to put in your heart and in our mind
if He doesn't have TIME to call you back, did you really need this man?

I always look for MAN. not for the man.

Good luck everybody!


Susan

Anonymous
cheerful
When men don't call back, their not interested any more. I know it seems rude, because women are psychologically different. If a man is really interested, he will move mountains AND jump through hoops. When they don't call back or disappear, it is just as if they are dead to me. Several have tried to re-establish contact, but you can't have a conversation with a dead man. It's only a game to them. I provide no response. I like real men. I move on to bigger and better things.

Stacey

Anonymous
confused
I got a question? I recently meet a guy on a dating site and we finally end up meeting. We went to lunch and after had a few drinks. The conversation was pleasant. We finished our date and he drove me back to my car. As soon as he stopped i was getting ready to get out of the car he was asking me what else was there to do by my house and where do i normally go out to. For a fact i know he still wanted to continue the date, but i wasn't thinking at the moment. When i got out of the car we exchanged hugs. He than said for me to call him and he mentioned the days he was off work. I than said thank you for the night and said call me to. When i got hm i texted him thank you for dinner and good night. He texted back i had a good time and we need to meet up again soon. That was the last i heard from him. It's been 3 days and no phone call or anything. Why? We did have similar interest and i know he thought i was good looking. Should i make the move and call?

TheDateGuru

Anonymous
Yes, I have been guilty of this and it is exactly what someone said - an effect of parallel dating. However, don't think men are the only ones.

I have had wonderful first dates that don't become 2nd dates. I will leave one vm - that's it. Usually they are "busy" or "sick".....or in some cases I'm either "busy" or "sick". Either way being blown off is being blown off and it occurs to and from both genders.

Try not to take it personally and move on to the next one...

Quote by: Stacey

I got a question? I recently meet a guy on a dating site and we finally end up meeting. We went to lunch and after had a few drinks. The conversation was pleasant. We finished our date and he drove me back to my car. As soon as he stopped i was getting ready to get out of the car he was asking me what else was there to do by my house and where do i normally go out to. For a fact i know he still wanted to continue the date, but i wasn't thinking at the moment. When i got out of the car we exchanged hugs. He than said for me to call him and he mentioned the days he was off work. I than said thank you for the night and said call me to. When i got hm i texted him thank you for dinner and good night. He texted back i had a good time and we need to meet up again soon. That was the last i heard from him. It's been 3 days and no phone call or anything. Why? We did have similar interest and i know he thought i was good looking. Should i make the move and call?


Single guy in DC

Anonymous
As a guy who tends to be fairly straightforward and honest about these things, I can tell you that women can be pretty uncommunicative and flakey too.

Instead of just accepting this, I'd rather see us (as a society in general) relearn to do what we say we're going to do and say what wat we're gonna do. If I decide I'm no longer interested in someone, I'll make a point of letting her know unless it is 110% clear that the feeling is mutual. Rejection is no fun but it does provide closure, and honesty seems to be in short supply these days.

MarieDC

Anonymous
cheerful
I think men as well as women do same in this case. It's fact that people become so impatient that they never stay for his/her partner,If they feel something unusual in relationship.The most important is to have mutual respect for each other to continue relationship and it counts for both ones.

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