Subject: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2008/04/07 08:42am
By: Anonymous

What's wrong with men these days? Rolling Eyes

Sometimes they will just stop emailing me or if we do start phoning each other, after 1 or 2 calls they drop off the face of the earth. I have had a few instances where a man will call and I do not get the message until later, so I either call back or email telling them I was busy (or whatever the situation was) and then after that they don't respond anymore. Do these men think I am lying?

I have a child and work full time and I am also up front about this in my profile. Sometimes, there just is not time for chatting on the phone, to be honest.

Anyone else have these frustrations with dating online or am I alone on this?

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2008/04/08 02:12am
By: Anonymous

Yes, yes, yes! It's happened to me, even after meeting someone, and I empathize completely.

I've come to believe that this has a lot to do with the parallel dating that goes on when people use online dating sites. A guy (or a girl) will be dating two, three, four people at the same time, and when it starts to work out with one of them, the others are dropped with no explanation. Personally, I would far prefer that the guy would get in touch with me and briefly explain that things are getting serious with someone else. I certainly wouldn't try to change his mind or stop him from moving on, and I would have the peace of mind of knowing why he disappeared.

But that's just too emotionally demanding for most people, who will avoid confrontation like the plague. Actually, I see this as epidemic in our society at large, not just in the online dating world. Rather than be the bearer of bad news, lots of people will choose to take the easy way out and just go silent. Confused

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2008/04/22 08:46pm
By: Anonymous

Yes, its happened to me even after a date with them! Men these days just seem to not believe in phone calls.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2008/05/01 10:46pm
By: Anonymous

I am a man, and when i don't call back that just means i'm not interested. Most likey the woman is not attractive enough. Or, if she's playing hard to get, i just date other women and make her wait.

When women don't call me back, it means they're not interested. But that's not the time to blame them, but rather see what i did wrong in not triggering attraction and change that next time.

As far as parallel dating, it happens all the time. That's why it's called dating. If a man has anything going for him, he gets at least one solid phone number a day not even going out of his way. Of course, most men these days got no balls, so it's the exception rather than the rule. On average, i go on four or five dates a week with four or five different women. I won't be able to call everyday. Deal with it.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2008/08/30 10:49pm
By: Anonymous

You need to put in your heart and in our mind
if He doesn't have TIME to call you back, did you really need this man?

I always look for MAN. not for the man.

Good luck everybody!


Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2009/03/07 04:07pm
By: Anonymous

When men don't call back, their not interested any more. I know it seems rude, because women are psychologically different. If a man is really interested, he will move mountains AND jump through hoops. When they don't call back or disappear, it is just as if they are dead to me. Several have tried to re-establish contact, but you can't have a conversation with a dead man. It's only a game to them. I provide no response. I like real men. I move on to bigger and better things.

Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2009/10/28 06:46pm
By: Anonymous

I got a question? I recently meet a guy on a dating site and we finally end up meeting. We went to lunch and after had a few drinks. The conversation was pleasant. We finished our date and he drove me back to my car. As soon as he stopped i was getting ready to get out of the car he was asking me what else was there to do by my house and where do i normally go out to. For a fact i know he still wanted to continue the date, but i wasn't thinking at the moment. When i got out of the car we exchanged hugs. He than said for me to call him and he mentioned the days he was off work. I than said thank you for the night and said call me to. When i got hm i texted him thank you for dinner and good night. He texted back i had a good time and we need to meet up again soon. That was the last i heard from him. It's been 3 days and no phone call or anything. Why? We did have similar interest and i know he thought i was good looking. Should i make the move and call?

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2009/10/30 06:01pm
By: Anonymous

Yes, I have been guilty of this and it is exactly what someone said - an effect of parallel dating. However, don't think men are the only ones.

I have had wonderful first dates that don't become 2nd dates. I will leave one vm - that's it. Usually they are "busy" or "sick".....or in some cases I'm either "busy" or "sick". Either way being blown off is being blown off and it occurs to and from both genders.

Try not to take it personally and move on to the next one...

Quote by: Stacey

I got a question? I recently meet a guy on a dating site and we finally end up meeting. We went to lunch and after had a few drinks. The conversation was pleasant. We finished our date and he drove me back to my car. As soon as he stopped i was getting ready to get out of the car he was asking me what else was there to do by my house and where do i normally go out to. For a fact i know he still wanted to continue the date, but i wasn't thinking at the moment. When i got out of the car we exchanged hugs. He than said for me to call him and he mentioned the days he was off work. I than said thank you for the night and said call me to. When i got hm i texted him thank you for dinner and good night. He texted back i had a good time and we need to meet up again soon. That was the last i heard from him. It's been 3 days and no phone call or anything. Why? We did have similar interest and i know he thought i was good looking. Should i make the move and call?


Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2010/03/02 10:03pm
By: Anonymous

As a guy who tends to be fairly straightforward and honest about these things, I can tell you that women can be pretty uncommunicative and flakey too.

Instead of just accepting this, I'd rather see us (as a society in general) relearn to do what we say we're going to do and say what wat we're gonna do. If I decide I'm no longer interested in someone, I'll make a point of letting her know unless it is 110% clear that the feeling is mutual. Rejection is no fun but it does provide closure, and honesty seems to be in short supply these days.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2010/03/16 09:46am
By: Anonymous

I think men as well as women do same in this case. It's fact that people become so impatient that they never stay for his/her partner,If they feel something unusual in relationship.The most important is to have mutual respect for each other to continue relationship and it counts for both ones.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2010/03/31 06:04pm
By: Anonymous

Yeah this goes both ways. I have had women not return my calls. I just realize they are not interested and move on. When someone is interested they will call back and then you know you have something to work with.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2010/04/02 04:53am
By: Anonymous

These are the men who can sustain a first date but who are so emotionally weak and insecure about themselves they would not know what to do or talk about on a second meeting so they therefore date different woman (looks good on the surface??? or does it? ) but in reality hides a deeper problem in that these men do not know how to communicate or relate to a woman which puts in perspective why men do not call back.

Re: Men who don't call back and disappear.

Posted on: 2010/04/02 04:00pm
By: Anonymous

As a guy, I discovered very early in my dating life about calling.

How many women actually care about the guys feelings.

Women screen their calls, women eat up the guys time and money with no intention of anything serious. Women cancel dates at the last second.

As a man who has experienced some of this, why would I treat dating any differently.

Women lie about being busy so as not to hurt the guys feelings.
If I don't call, it the same.

If I think things have potential, I will call again, but If i get mixed signals or don't believe there is reason to call, why would I even spend 5 minutes on her, she wouldn't on me.

Our poster said he took her out, spent money on her, invested time, showed interest, asked her out again, gave his phone number, dates when to call, asked her to call. The ball was in your court dear.
Obviously he saw her for the time waster that she was.
Why would she expect him to call?
There are lots of women out there who might actually want a relationship.

A date doesn't mean sex, but part of the point in dating is developing a connection. If a girl sits on the other side of the table and interviews a guy testing him to see how much he will invest in her with nothing in return, she may actually get nothing.

I actually enjoy calling someone who is excited to hear from me.
You want another call, show that you are interested.
You want a date, say yes when he asks, do his activity, don't pick it apart, suggest another date if that one is not good for you.
Actually show up, someone who cancels a first date might not get a second chance.

If you had a date that was good and I got to like you, cancelling the seccond might be ok as long as you show that you still want another date, but canceling the first date, I look and say I don't even know her yet, how much effort do I want to spend on somebody I don't know. Why would I even call?


Now a girl who sits beside you, takes an interest, shows she wants to see you again, when you get close, leans towards you, does not walk away to see if you will follow. All the little tests that women do kill things on both sides.

I'm not trying to write a book here, but you would never put up with the same kind of crap.

It is up to you if you want to sit at home or actually go out and have some fun.

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