Searching the Far End of the Spectrum
- Sunday, November 06 2011 @ 08:16 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,874
In general, when it comes to online dating, you probably want to appeal to as broad a base as possible. Yes, you want to find people with common interests, but you also want to show up in search results. Thus, you’ll find people are relatively moderate in their online profiles; in their politics, in their eating habits, their workout routines. But what if you’re someone who truly does fall on an extreme end of the spectrum? How do you handle the delicate dance between mass appeal and outright lying?
Well, the first thing you have to analyze is how personally affected you are by opposing opinions. You might personally be a hardcore vegan or fall at the far end of the political spectrum, but perhaps you have no problems being with someone who isn’t. Those who have opinions or practices deemed “extreme” by the rest of society are often used to co-existing with those of differing beliefs. If you think you’re one of those people, there’s no problem with trying to attract a broader audience, as long as you’re upfront about your own beliefs (perhaps mentioning it in a self-summary).
However, some people are tired of being around “everyone else,” and just want to find someone they can feel fully comfortable with - and there’s nothing wrong with that. In that case, you’re going to have to expect that you’ll maybe have fewer matches or responses; when you fall into a narrow niche it’s just the nature of the beast, even on the internet. On the other hand, when you find someone who fits the narrow requirement you’re searching for, there’s often immediately a sense of camaraderie - you already have something major in common.
Regardless of who you’re trying to attract, what you want to avoid is overly defensive, or even aggressive, statements in your profile. People who are constantly questioned about their beliefs often attempt to cut the questions off before they begin, but to a potential match you might just seem angry. Thus, avoid statements like, “I could never be with someone who...” and simply say “I’m looking for...” instead.
Remember: you want the reader to feel like they recognize themselves in your profile, to say to themselves, “Hey, that person could be talking about me!” What you don’t want is to make the reader feel like there’s a long list of requirements they have to live up to. It’s possible to keep your search parameters narrow but still be warm and inviting; just remember to keep that editing pen handy, stick with positive statements, and let your personality shine through, not just your interests or beliefs.
Well, the first thing you have to analyze is how personally affected you are by opposing opinions. You might personally be a hardcore vegan or fall at the far end of the political spectrum, but perhaps you have no problems being with someone who isn’t. Those who have opinions or practices deemed “extreme” by the rest of society are often used to co-existing with those of differing beliefs. If you think you’re one of those people, there’s no problem with trying to attract a broader audience, as long as you’re upfront about your own beliefs (perhaps mentioning it in a self-summary).
However, some people are tired of being around “everyone else,” and just want to find someone they can feel fully comfortable with - and there’s nothing wrong with that. In that case, you’re going to have to expect that you’ll maybe have fewer matches or responses; when you fall into a narrow niche it’s just the nature of the beast, even on the internet. On the other hand, when you find someone who fits the narrow requirement you’re searching for, there’s often immediately a sense of camaraderie - you already have something major in common.
Regardless of who you’re trying to attract, what you want to avoid is overly defensive, or even aggressive, statements in your profile. People who are constantly questioned about their beliefs often attempt to cut the questions off before they begin, but to a potential match you might just seem angry. Thus, avoid statements like, “I could never be with someone who...” and simply say “I’m looking for...” instead.
Remember: you want the reader to feel like they recognize themselves in your profile, to say to themselves, “Hey, that person could be talking about me!” What you don’t want is to make the reader feel like there’s a long list of requirements they have to live up to. It’s possible to keep your search parameters narrow but still be warm and inviting; just remember to keep that editing pen handy, stick with positive statements, and let your personality shine through, not just your interests or beliefs.
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