Believing in Holiday Magic
- Friday, December 21 2012 @ 09:31 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,134
My generally-cynical friend, Rose, announced that she wasn’t going to keep her online profile up through the month of December. “There’s no point,” she explained. “Last year it was totally dead in my area, and besides, people just want to have a date for their work holiday party or something to do on New Year’s.”
Now, in general I don’t agree with Rose when she becomes a Negative Nancy, but for a moment I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she was completely accurate. Perhaps the online dating site she uses was particularly quiet last December - after all, people often travel to see family, or use up their vacation time, over the holidays. Perhaps the majority of those still in town were looking primarily for a date to a holiday event. Still...
“So what?” I asked her.
She raised her eyebrows. “So what?” she repeated.
“So what if someone is just looking for a date to a holiday party?”
“Well,” she said, “It makes me feel like there’s just some ulterior motive - like I could be any random person, being used for some specific purpose. It seems hard to believe that a relationship could start under those conditions.”
“Sure,” I said, “I understand that. But the truth is, we never really know the motivation of the person we’ve just met. How is wanting a date for a party any different from wanting a first date to get back on that horse after a bad breakup? Or ultimately looking for a future spouse and parent to your future children? We all have some ulterior motive, but that doesn’t mean it’s sinister. Either way, we’re still not going to go out with someone we’re not remotely interested in. And if we have a great time, we’re going to want to see them again, even if we were just planning on finding someone for this one party. And what’s wrong with wanting someone to laugh with over the holidays?”
Rose looked thoughtful, but I wasn’t done yet.
“Besides,” I added, “Sure, it’s true that the majority of relationships probably start on some random day of the year and not in some ultra-romantic setting like waiting for the ball to drop on New Year’s Eve. But just because the majority of them start in more mundane settings doesn’t mean that all of them do. There’s no reason to avoid a potential relationship just because you think it’s a cliche.”
Perhaps I’m just a hopeless romantic. However, Rose did ultimately keep her profile up for the month of December, though she claimed it was just due to her “laziness.” What do you think?
Now, in general I don’t agree with Rose when she becomes a Negative Nancy, but for a moment I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she was completely accurate. Perhaps the online dating site she uses was particularly quiet last December - after all, people often travel to see family, or use up their vacation time, over the holidays. Perhaps the majority of those still in town were looking primarily for a date to a holiday event. Still...
“So what?” I asked her.
She raised her eyebrows. “So what?” she repeated.
“So what if someone is just looking for a date to a holiday party?”
“Well,” she said, “It makes me feel like there’s just some ulterior motive - like I could be any random person, being used for some specific purpose. It seems hard to believe that a relationship could start under those conditions.”
“Sure,” I said, “I understand that. But the truth is, we never really know the motivation of the person we’ve just met. How is wanting a date for a party any different from wanting a first date to get back on that horse after a bad breakup? Or ultimately looking for a future spouse and parent to your future children? We all have some ulterior motive, but that doesn’t mean it’s sinister. Either way, we’re still not going to go out with someone we’re not remotely interested in. And if we have a great time, we’re going to want to see them again, even if we were just planning on finding someone for this one party. And what’s wrong with wanting someone to laugh with over the holidays?”
Rose looked thoughtful, but I wasn’t done yet.
“Besides,” I added, “Sure, it’s true that the majority of relationships probably start on some random day of the year and not in some ultra-romantic setting like waiting for the ball to drop on New Year’s Eve. But just because the majority of them start in more mundane settings doesn’t mean that all of them do. There’s no reason to avoid a potential relationship just because you think it’s a cliche.”
Perhaps I’m just a hopeless romantic. However, Rose did ultimately keep her profile up for the month of December, though she claimed it was just due to her “laziness.” What do you think?
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