Communication

Turns out, Valentine’s Day is not just about couples, hearts and chocolates – it’s about swiping left and right with your dating app to see who's out there. Singles are optimistic about love on this particular holiday - and are saying yes more often to potential dates.

According to popular dating app Tinder, activity from users on Valentine’s Day this year surpassed any day since its launch back in 2012 – that is, the total number of swipes, messages, and matches were at the highest count in the app’s history.

The increased activity in advance of Valentine’s Day began on February 6, leading up to the all-time high on V-Day itself. Overall usage ticked up 7 percent week-over-week from the last couple of years, resulting in a 15 percent increase over the company’s long-term trends. Message activity was up 5.2 percent week-over-week, and matches were up by 6 percent.

Vanity Fair reported that the company found a 60 percent increase in matches per user who logged in to the app on Valentine’s Day from the previous Saturday. Unfortunately, the love didn’t last – user activity was back to normal by Sunday February 15th. It seems the pressure of romance’s biggest day contributed to the app’s popularity, but fizzled out just as quickly. It is also interesting to note that more men were on the app than women on Valentine’s Day, perhaps a reflection of Match.com’s latest “Singles in America” study, where they found that men were much more likely to believe in love at first sight than women.

Critics have been quick to point out that Tinder users are primarily looking for last-minute hook-ups, which might explain the Valentine’s Day craze. The company’s founder Sean Rad however, disagrees – noting that people go to bars and clubs all the time looking for potential for hook-ups. So why choose Tinder? According to Rad, Tinder is helping people overcome the challenge of approaching a stranger to say “hi” because the app makes it less intimidating, and the sting of rejection isn’t quite so high.

“People don’t realize this, but we’re an order of magnitude bigger than any other dating app,” Rad told Vanity Fair. “You really have to ask yourself, if that’s the critique of Tinder, are you critiquing Tinder, or are you critiquing society?”

Tinder is rolling out its new premium service Tinder Plus in the U.S. in March, which will allow paying members to go back and rekindle things with someone they initially rejected, and let users browse through profiles of people in other cities. The new service has already rolled out in the U.K.

It was only a matter of time before a Denver-based app developer would take advantage of the city’s new legalized pot industry. High There! - a new dating app specifically for weed lovers, launched this month for Android and will be debuting in the iTunes store soon. In addition to the mile-high city, the app is also available in 23 states that have legalized medical marijuana laws.

High There has been described as “the Tinder of pot smoking,” although instead of matching according to proximity and age preferences, the app asks for your weed preferences, such as vaping or smoking, and what your energy level is when you are imbibing – “low energy couch potato or high energy explorer,” according to a report on Mashable.

The design of the app is similar to Tinder, with photos as the main feature and the ability to accept or reject a match by swiping left or right. Besides how you consume your pot, a few extra questions are added to enhance your profile, including what you are in the mood for – “go out, stay in, or chat?” and your interests (“culture, outdoors”).

CEO Todd Mitchem says he was inspired to create the app after his date called it quits when she found out he smoked pot. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, so he decided he’d rather only date pot smokers – but needed a way to meet them. He wanted to build a community around people who might otherwise feel shunned for their habit. He told Mashable that the app “can also act as a kind of social network for smokers who are seeking recommendations on local dispensaries, to share tips or just make friends with other like-minded folks.”   

High There however is not the first dating app to cater to this particular clientele. My420mate launched last year, and 420Singles has been offering their pot-friendly app for a while as well, though High There seems to be getting a lot more attention in the press.

So far, the reception to High There has been mixed, according to reviews in the app store. The main reason for users’ frustration is that they download the free app and then can’t use it because of the marijuana laws in their particular cities. (If it isn’t available to purchase legally in your town, you can’t use the app.) Many people complain that they do have medical marijuana cards from another city, but can’t use the app because of the legal status in the city where they live.

High There is free and available for Android users, and will soon be available for download from the iTunes store.

This month, Tinder began rolling out its new premium service Tinder Plus in select European markets, and the feedback hasn’t been good.

The popular dating app surged to the top of the online dating market when it launched in 2012, attracting users who had never thought of signing up for an online dating site. Its easy-to-use format and free game-like service offered more entertainment than dating stress, and users flocked to check it out.

But in an effort to make money from this hugely successful endeavor, it was only a matter of time before Tinder’s owners developed a paid model for the app – opting for a premium service over adding distracting in-app advertisements. (Although the company has strategically lent its brand to marketing campaigns, like Gillette’s facial hair survey and Domino’s Pizza Valentine’s Day campaign.)

But Tinder Plus has not been greeted favorably, at least in its initial roll out – and the free service is suffering as a result. Although Tinder Plus is not set to launch in the U.S. until March, and prices are still to be determined, the company needs to find a new strategy - considering the backlash it has gotten in markets where the roll out has already taken place, such as the U.K. Tinder users who are not opting to pay for Tinder Plus and want to stick to the old free version of the app have been leaving bad reviews in the iTunes store (enough to drive the free service’s rating down to one and a half stars).

The problem has to do with new restrictions to the free service. Once a user has swiped a certain number of times, they are blocked for 24 hours from seeing any new profiles, unless they want to pay for the new Tinder Plus service. Since most users log in to Tinder multiple times a day to swipe through matches, this puts a serious hindrance on Tinder’s competitive advantage. Other dating apps that have restrictions on the number of profiles a user can see per day – like Hinge - have been easing up on their requirements, and seeing a surge of new downloads as a result.

With all the promising new free apps coming on the market, such as Bumble (started by an ex-Tinder employee), Tinder will need to think outside the box to keep its market share. After all, any online dating app or site’s currency is their user base. If Tinder loses theirs, then they stand to lose a lot more than the revenue from the premium service. Perhaps they should stick to advertising deals, or instead of taking away features from loyal users, offer more enticing new features.

As the East Coast braced for the horrific storm that was about to descend on them the evening of January 26^th, single folks apparently took to their dating apps for comfort.

Hinge, a dating app that matches based on your social media circles, reported that its usage rate that day was plugging along at a normal rate, when suddenly at about 3pm East Coast time - the time officials were warning residents about the upcoming storm -  activity on the app exploded, even if the actual snowstorm fell flat. 

According to Hinge’s figures, the app experienced an average of 4.75 logins per user on Monday -- a record for the app. “‘User sessions’ (the number of times an individual logs into the app) increased by 27 percent during peak hours, and activity on the app increased by 22 percent overall on Monday,” according to The Huffington Post.

There’s no doubt about it: anticipation at the thought of a free day to play motivates singles to see if they can connect with someone. "Who wouldn't want a playdate on a snow day?" Karen Fein, Director of Marketing at Hinge told The Huffington Post.

Unfortunately, the giddiness daters felt about having a snow day didn’t last.

The app noted that activity calmed down by about 10pm – perhaps because the storm wasn’t as bad as the weather reporters made it out to be, and users were wondering if they would return to work the next day instead of having a snow day. 

Or perhaps some of them had connected after all, and were getting to know each other instead of hanging out in the confines of their apartments.

It would be interesting if Tinder also released its own stats about whether or not it experienced a surge in activity in anticipation of the storm, or whether online dating sites in general had record numbers of logins, messaging, or emails sent.

It might help that this is one of the busiest times of year for online dating – New Year’s Day through February 14^th (Valentine’s Day), so the threat of the storm gave daters a little extra push to get out there and meet someone, even if it would be in two feet of snow. Or perhaps it’s entertaining enough to just flip through photos when you’re bored, or send texts to guys you haven’t yet responded to and clean out your inbox.

Whatever the case, don’t wait for another storm to hit before you login to your dating app. See who you can meet now.

Online dating is evolving along with daters’ preferences. We have grown used to the idea of using technology for our personal lives, with more people online dating than ever (thanks to the rise of dating apps like Tinder).

The dating landscape has changed, even in the last few years. There is new technology of course, but there is also the growing number of singles (which consist of more than half of U.S. adults over age 18), and the fact that young adults are waiting longer to marry. So college isn’t the place you’re likely to meet your life partner – instead, it’s more likely going to be online.

With so much changing and so many singles out there, why is it still so hard to find the right person, or even to get a date from a few back-and-forth texts?

The answer might be simpler than you think. There have been several studies in recent years about our ability to make decisions, especially when we are given a lot of choices. Much like wandering into a candy store when you just want a bite of something sweet, your mind can be immediately overloaded with all the different types, brands, and flavors – so that you almost become paralyzed by the choices and unable to make a decision.

A study was conducted a few years back, where a group of people were given a choice between a few different brands of laundry detergents and asked to pick which one they’d buy. With only three or four choices, they tended to read the labels of ingredients and decide which was best based on content. They were also generally pleased with their choices.

The next group was given dozens of choices of laundry detergent. Researchers discovered when there were more than a few choices, people didn’t take any longer in making a decision - they were too overwhelmed and didn’t read the labels at all. The majority chose which detergent they would buy based solely on what the container looked like, and didn’t look at the ingredients. In fact – they were basing their decisions purely on superficial “looks,” because it was easier than trying to get to know all of their choices.

It’s no wonder we feel a bit ADD when it comes to dating, and that apps like Tinder have taken off. When we are given too much choice, it’s easier to just look at the photo and make an impulsive decision – yes or no - rather than think about what we really want. We don’t get to know people before deciding we aren’t interested in a date or even a drink. It’s too easy to think “there’s probably someone even better” while we are swiping, so we don't think twice about standing someone up or refusing to text them back.

Maybe it’s time to focus on one date at a time. Maybe we should start saying yes more often - instead of no.

Online dating is all about first impressions. After all, there’s a big pool of daters out there – if someone doesn’t interest you or work out from the start, there’s plenty more to meet! You might think - why waste time with someone who didn’t text back right away, acted nervous throughout the night, or canceled your first date three times? No thanks!

But what happens when you are the one who wants a do-over?

Sometimes, you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. But if you do, it’s important to own your mistakes – and try to improve upon them. I’ve provided two real-life examples, though some of the details I changed for privacy’s sake:

Drinking Disaster

Jessica met Ryan over Tinder, and they immediately hit it off. After a few drinks Jessica was feeling bold and started flirting heavily, something she usually doesn’t do. Then she leaned in for the kiss, biting down hard on his lip. He was wondering what to do as his mouth started throbbing. Jessica suggested taking off to her place, but not before she fell over trying to get down from her barstool. She made it outside before throwing up. Ryan helped her to a cab and sent her home by herself – and the whole experience turned him off Tinder for a while.

Two weeks later, he got a text from Jessica apologizing for her behavior and asking if she could get a second chance. “I didn’t really see the point, but we did have good chemistry so eventually I agreed. I needed to find out who she really was.” This time, she didn’t drink and took her time instead of giving in to the chemistry. Two months later, they’re still dating. He was able to look past her initial behavior after he got to know the real Jessica.

Questionable comment

Stacey saw Jake’s picture on an online dating site, and decided to contact him. They had a few exchanges, but something he said in passing really bothered Stacey so she stopped communicating. When she went back to the same dating site a few weeks later, he still popped up as one of her matches, so she decided to give him a second chance. After rescheduling their date three times because Stacy’s work got too busy, Jake was annoyed, but still agreed to meet her. When they did meet, they clicked.

After talking to him in person, Stacey realized that she had misunderstood Jake initially because she had taken his online response the wrong way. If she hadn’t given him another chance to prove himself – and if he had given up on meeting her after cancelling so many times – they never would have connected and fallen in love. His good heart won her over, and they have been dating ever since.

Have you turned someone down because of a first impression? Maybe it’s time to give someone a second chance.