Dating

The New Year is here – and the majority of us seem motivated to make positive changes in our lives. In addition to healthy diets and exercise regimens, many people have also vowed to make changes to find love this year – whether it’s making more time to date, committing to finding a relationship, or even making an attitude adjustment.

So what has been holding you back from pursuing a long-term relationship? Do you find yourself getting frustrated from the online dating process? Do you feel that relationships don’t ever work out for you? Or are you just not meeting the right person?

With dating, we have to get clear about what we want before we can expect a relationship. And that means looking at our online dating profiles and making some changes. After all, it’s your marketing tool – your first introduction to potential dates and your chance to make a good first impression. So why not spend some time on it, so you can attract the kind of person you’d like to meet?

Following are some simple profile changes to make to get 2016 started on the right foot:

Change your photos. This is an easy and effective way to spruce things up in 2016. Look for photos that show your whole body as well as a headshot. Include shots of you doing yoga, surfing, hiking, playing guitar, or whatever else you like to do. People look through photos before reading profiles, so try to tell a story through yours.

Reconsider your handle. People do make snap judgments about handles. If you have a sexually suggestive one, get another – it’s a big turn-off for women. Or if it’s too generic, like John1987, opt instead for one that includes a hobby or favorite song, for instance. Get creative.

Pick a topic and get specific. Instead of including a laundry list of likes and dislikes in your description, try naming a specific thing and telling a story. For instance, if you like to travel, instead of just listing where you’ve been, think of a favorite trip and describe what it was like, or tell a funny story of something that happened to you. The goal is to get potential dates to message you, ask a question, start a conversation.

No generic phrases. Liking to “Netflix and chill” is not a good way to attract a potential relationship – nor is the fact that you are “looking for a partner in crime” or that you “love to laugh.” Doesn’t everyone love to laugh? What tells a story about you is what makes you laugh. Do you like comedy shows, or telling bad jokes, or is there a favorite Instagram feed that makes you giggle? Show that you have interests, where you like to go on the weekends, or the fact that waking up to Rihanna's music helps get you through the work day. Potential dates know that anyone can sit on the couch and watch TV, but they really want to know who you are and what sets you apart. Think of it this way: write phrases that can start conversations.

As we kick off 2016, there's no denying online dating has gone mainstream. We're firing off Match.com messages while waiting in line for coffee, swiping through Tinder profiles on public transportation, and hoping we don't run into anyone from work on OkCupid.

But while online dating has become the go-to for millions of singles, it's not the only option available. Remember that thing called the real world? Yeah, it's still around too. And some people even prefer to date that way.

For the screen-shy, 2016 could be the year to ditch online dating for good (or at least a trial period). There's just one catch: you have to remember how to meet someone face-to-face. Here are 5 resolutions to make if you're burnt out on online dating and want to get back to basics.

1. Put the phone away. Part of this is about avoiding temptation. With your phone in hand, you'll be much more inclined to open Tinder for a sneaky swipe or two. This is also about openness. You don't look approachable when your face is glued to a screen. And without that source of entertainment, you're much more likely to look for entertainment elsewhere – like actually talking to people.
2. Leave the house. Online dating is awesome because it allows you to meet tons of new people from the comfort of your couch. Offline dating? Not so much. You'll score exactly 0 dates if you don't make an effort to turn off Netflix and get out of your PJs. The more you interact with people, the more likely you are to meet one who sparks your interest.
3. Know your audience. What does your ideal date like to do? You could go to a bar and hope for the best (and you'd hardly be the first person to meet their significant other that way), but there are better methods. Go to places – like clubs, meetups, events and group activities – that you're interested in to increase your chance of meeting people you're attracted to.
4. Say “yes.” When a friend invites you to something social, say yes. Say yes even if you're tired, or had a stressful day at work, or only have a few more episodes to binge watch before you finish the series. You never know who else said those magical three letters too.
5. Take risks. Online dating is all about lowering risk. It's hard to feel the full sting of rejection when it's coming from behind a screen. In real life, you have face a potential “no” head-on. Be bold. Talk to the good-looking person at the end of the bar, or pass your number to the neighboring table at a cafe. Bravery is the best way to secure yourself a date in 2016.

Everyone is caught up in the “new year, new you” excitement of January, so now is the perfect time to make positive changes for 2016.

For some people, that means eating healthy and going to the gym. For others, that means spending more time with family, picking up a new hobby, or finally asking for that raise. For you, it means dropping your bad dating habits for a more romance-filled 2016.

As you navigate the dating scene, you're bound to make mistakes along the way. Here are some of the biggest blunders that could be keeping you single:

1. Only looking in one place. If you've refused to try online dating, make 2016 the year you step out of your comfort zone. If you exclusively use online dating, get back to basics and experiment with traditional dating this year.
2. Cutting corners. Some dating services keep profiles minimal in favor of photos (ahem, Tinder), but if you're looking for more than a low-key hookup, the profile is important. Don't leave any sections blank, don't be vague, and don't rely on cliches to describe yourself. The profile is a vital part of finding a like-minded, compatible date.
3. Succumbing to FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out is a real phenomenon, and it's particularly destructive for online daters. With so many possible partners at your finger tips, it's easy to feel like your options are infinite. It's time for a reality check: if you're always waiting for something better to come along, you'll miss the good things right in front of you.
4. Doing too much. Learn to let go. If you don't get a response to your message, don't flood their inbox with 10 more messages (especially if those messages are berating them for not answering the first one). If they're busy but interested, they'll reply when they can. If they're just not into you, move on gracefully with your dignity intact.
5. Doing too little. Underwhelming can be just as damaging as overwhelming. A one-word message is never a good conversation starter. It's 2016, we shouldn't have to keep saying that.
6. Expecting immediate chemistry. There's nothing like that instant spark of attraction. Thanks to Disney movies and romance novels, we've come to expect it. In reality, instant attraction is not a reliable indicator of long-term compatibility (in fact, it can literally mess with your brain chemistry and judgment). Be open to the possibility of chemistry developing over time, or you might miss out on someone amazing.
7. Taking everything personally. It's hard not to take it personally when people are saying yea or nay to your profile, but you'll be a happier dater if you learn to let it go. Everyone isn't your cup of tea, you are not everyone's cup of tea, and that's a good thing. If someone isn't interested in you, all it means is that they're not interested in you. It doesn't mean you're undateable or unlovable. And remember, every “no” gets you closer to the “yes” you're looking for.

What other dating habits do you need to break in 2016?

Looking to get the year started on a more romantic note? Now’s the perfect time to join online dating sites. According to Match.com and other notable online dating sites and apps, the biggest surge of new member signups happen between January 1^st and Valentine’s Day.

So, you have a lot of time to see who’s out there and try a new app.

This year, eHarmony reported a 21% increase in mobile registrations since the holidays began, and dating app Zoosk also expected a 20% jump in users the first two weeks of January. Grindr, a dating app for gay men, typically experiences a 30-50% increase in users over the holidays, and Match expects an increase of 60% in new members before Valentine’s Day. Most dating apps agree that this is the busiest time of year for them.

The desire to sign up for an online dating site now may be for personal reasons. Most people have spent the holidays together with family members, creating a sense of warmth and togetherness that some singles feel might be missing from their lives. For those who spent the holidays alone, this time of year can feel particularly isolating, which can provide inspiration for expanding social networks and dating. There’s also the plethora of Instagram photos of happy couples taking vacations together, not to mention the announcement of engagement or baby news over social media, which can also create the desire for more people to want to meet someone special. And what about New Year’s resolutions to date and meet more people?

It seems there’s something about this time of year that motivates people to try online dating – but perhaps it’s less about emotion and more about having the time off for the holidays. People have the opportunity to look at their personal lives and see what they could be doing when they have free time.

According to news website MarketWatch, there’s evidence that people tend to join online dating sites when they have time off work and want to look forward to something personal. So it makes sense that the biggest online dating membership surge the Sunday after New Year’s Eve, when most people are still enjoying the holiday break but know that work is about to start up again.

Interestingly, this theory holds true outside of the winter holidays. Some dating sites, including Zoosk, also saw a surge in new members during the U.S. government shutdown in 2013, when many people’s jobs were affected and they were prevented from going to work.

Regardless, this is the best time of year to join a dating website or download a dating app. More people are online now than ever, which means more opportunities. For more information on the popular dating services mentioned you can read our Match.com review and our eHarmony review.

Happy dating in 2016!

Have you ever followed up with a date over text, the flirty banter going back and forth for a couple of weeks, when suddenly it tapers off? Or maybe he disappears altogether? Before you wonder what you might have done wrong, or what might have happened, it’s time to set the record straight about texting.

Texting is fun and flirtatious. It is a great, low-maintenance way to keep the fire burning if you and your date had some chemistry together. But many of us feel too comfortable behind the screen – to the point where it actually hinders real relationships, and interferes with our romantic life.

Texting is not a substitute for dating. We need that real in-person connection in order for something to grow. When you text or message someone, sharing flirty banter or even more personal thoughts, it feels like you are growing closer. But texting and messaging don’t help you develop a relationship – they create a false sense of connection. In fact, if texting is your barometer for how well your relationship is going, you’re going to be completely misled.

When someone really wants to pursue a relationship with you, they want to see you in person. They want to set up dates. Flirting over text might be part of the fun, but it is only part of it. If a man you are seeing is only communicating with you over text, no matter how charming he is, he isn’t really interested in pursuing a relationship. If he was, he would be asking you out.

You deserve a real-life relationship.

Consider the last relationship you had that was great over text, but fizzled out quickly. There could be any number of reasons this happened. Texting might be a fun way to pass the time for the object of your affection, or a distraction from thinking about an ex, or even a Plan B in case the other person he’s interested in doesn’t pan out. It can also be a quick ego boost. Whatever the case, it doesn’t make a difference. The fact is, there isn’t a chance for a real relationship to happen if your main interaction is through text.

Instead of relying on your texting chemistry after a good first meeting or date, it’s better to see what happens on a second date, or a third. Don’t just assume that texting will eventually get you to the place you want in a relationship. Let your dates know what you want. Ask him or her out. Don’t accept anything less than real-life interaction – there is no substitute. If someone keeps putting you off, claiming they are busy, or only texts you to hook up at the last-minute, move on. They aren’t the right relationship for you.

If “find love” is one of your resolutions for 2016, you're in luck. Get your best pickup lines ready, because the busiest time of year for online dating is rapidly approaching.

Match.com has revealed the exact day the most users will log on in 2016, and even narrowed the time down to the minute. Using their site traffic data, Match predicts that Sunday, January 3, at 8:52 pm EST is when the most users in all of 2016 will be logging on to the site.

Why is early January peak season for online dating? January 3 follows two major holidays, Christmas and New Year's, when singletons can feel especially lonely. On top of that, the beginning of the year is prime time for New Year's resolutions, which are often made about love and relationships.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor for Match, says there's a biological reason for this behavior. “I think all three brain systems for love become stimulated around this time of year, including sex drive, feeling of attachment and romantic love,” she told Bustle.

She goes on to say that the novelty of the holidays can trigger the dopamine system, which encourages feelings of romance, while the hugging and nostalgia that accompany the season can trigger feelings of attachment. If you're not in a relationship, it can emphasize your singlehood.

“Moreover,” she continues, “the beginning of the new year is a natural time for rejuvenation and renewal; and has been for thousands of years. So we naturally begin to look around for a true love.”

If you can't log on exactly at 8:52 pm EST on January 3, don't stress. Match says that peak season will span the full month of January and then some. The site rountinely experiences a 60 percent leap in new members signing up between December 25 and February 14, so you could have a new special someone just in time for Valentine's Day.

And it's not just sign ups that get a boost during this time of year. The number of messages exchanged also increases with the influx of new numbers. Match says that a whopping 50 million messages are sent during peak season.

In order to secure that V-Day date, users step up their game across the board. Along with sending more messages, members use the new year to rejuvenate their profiles and add new photos. Fifteen million new images are uploaded to Match between Christmas and Valentine's Day.

Is all that effort worth it? Statistics say yes. Match predicts that 1 million people will go on dates as a result of the elevated activity during peak season. Now is the perfect time to freshen up your profile and double down on your dating efforts in 2016. For more information on this dating service, please read our review of Match.com.