Profiles

The start of a new year is also often a busy time for online dating, as people make new resolutions and vow to try out new experiences. But what if you’ve already got your profile established? Is there a way to take advantage of the surge in traffic?

First, make sure that your profile was updated recently. Even if you’re an old hand at online dating, you don’t want to give the impression that your profile has been sitting around gathering dust. Any tweak will do, but while you’ve got your editing pen out, scan for any outdated information. Are any references to upcoming movies or events outdated? Are you talking about sticky summer nights? You don’t necessarily have to add a new current reference, but you definitely don’t want any old ones lurking about.

The holidays are a prime time to take pictures, and most new profiles will reflect that. As such, if all your pictures are from the beach last summer, they might well stand out as a little odd. If you’ve got an acceptable candid photo from the holiday season, throw it in.

Not only does it say that you’re currently maintaining your profile, it says you aren’t afraid to show what you currently look like. The new year is often a time for resolutions and goals about body image. By including a current picture, you’re saying you’re confident about meeting someone new now, not after you’ve shed some holiday pounds. It’s always sensible to include a current pic anyway, but this time of year adds subtext that can work in your favor.

Don’t be afraid to internalize that subtext, either. It can be exciting and positive to share your excitement for the new year, and your own new goals, but remember that you’re trying to find someone who is compatible with who you are now, not some reinvention. You’re looking for someone with whom to have new experiences and adventures, not someone who will only be interested after them. Take advantage of the fresh profiles in the new year - but don’t lose sight of what you’re looking for.

Right now everyone is talking about the big resolutions you're supposed to make for 2015. High on the list this year, as they are every year, are all things related to dating and romance. And that's great – I'm a firm believer in setting goals for yourself – but you can't figure out where you're going if you don't understand where you've been. Before you start making plans for 2015, let's talk about 2014. Specifically, about where you went wrong with your online dating profile in 2014.

First things first: don't think that going wrong is...well...wrong. It's fine. It's part of the process. And don't think that going wrong means there's something wrong with you. There isn't. All it means is that, somewhere along the line, something went a little haywire with your profile and decreased your chances of meeting someone meaningful on the site. And the good news about all that is, it's fixable.

So where exactly did things jump the tracks? Here are 7 reasons your online dating profile didn't work in 2014:

1. You didn't include an image: I get it. It's a privacy thing. But if you want to be successful on a dating site, there's no way around it. A clear picture is a must.
2. You didn't write enough. I know this sounds crazy, but that profile asking you to write about yourself is there so you can actually write about yourself. No-word answers, single-word answers, and in many cases even single-sentence answers, are not acceptable. You would move on if you came across that profile, so don't expect potential dates to do anything different for you.
3. You wrote way too much. It's easy to take that last piece of advice and run away with it. Yes, no one wants to read a weird e.e. cummings poem of a profile, but no one wants to read an epic James Joyce novel either. A wall of text is overwhelming to read and even more overwhelming to digest. Save some getting-to-know-you for the first date, will ya?
4. You focused on the negative. Read your profile out-loud to yourself and be honest. Do you sound hurt, angry, sad, or negative in any other way? Experiencing those emotions is ok – it's part of life – but making your online dating profile about them is not ok. Optimism is attractive. Sounding like you have more baggage than an airport over the holidays is not.
5. Some things are better left unsaid...but you said them anyway. Having strong opinions is a good thing. Being able to express them calmly, clearly, and confidently is also a good thing. Doing that in your profile is...maybe not such a good thing. Unless the issue at hand is 100% a dealbreaker for you, keep the controversial stuff to yourself until a later date.
6. You sound just like everyone else. You like hanging out with friends. People say you're fun and funny. The first thing people notice about you is your eyes. You're into candlelit beaches and long walks to dinner. Yawn. Did you copy/paste your profile? You sound just like everyone else on the Web, and that's no way to score a date. Differentiate yourself.
7. You didn't have one. Wait, you don't even have an online dating profile yet? Well there's your problem. Start there and get back to me in 2016.

How much do people in Indiana love auto racing? So much that NASCAR is the most frequently used word in online dating profiles from the state.

Mashable recently teamed up with Match.com to analyze thousands of US-based online dating profiles and discover how daters differ from state to state. Anyone who ventures into the untamed wilds of online dating quickly discovers the same words and phrases appear over and over again. Surprise: it turns out that pretty much everyone likes all music except country. Yawn.

Tired of feeling like all online dating profiles are the same, Mashable and Match broke down which words are used with relative frequency in certain states, compared to relative frequency in the rest of the country. If you're in the mood for making the most cliché online dating profile possible, find your location on this map and see what daters in your state are most obsessed with.

Here are a few highlights:

• California: desert
• New York: museum
• Texas: oil
• Florida: Disney
• Alaska: cabin
• Georgia: grilling
• Hawaii: surf
• Nevada: casino (duh)

Match and Mashable aren't the only ones who recently delved into state-by-state dating. The dating app Lulu (think Yelp, but for ranking and reviewing men) did some research to find out who the most popular man in each state is. Female Lulu users can anonymously rate men they know on everything from looks, to ambition, to relationships. to, yes, sex. Lulu also recently introduced anonymous messages and questions called "Truth Bombs.”

As you can probably imagine, the app was controversial when it first launched, but Lulu has since cleaned up its image and allowed men to sign up for the service. They can’t rate women, but they can promote their profiles.

The men in this experiment (all Lulu users themselves) were rated on a scale of 1-10 by women who know them. Business Insider reports: “While there are no perfect scores in the US, a man in Texas and a man in Illinois men both received a 9.7 score. Their friends used the following hashtags to describe them: ‘#DoesDishes,’ ‘#RemembersBirthdays,’ and ‘#OneOfTheGoodOnes.’”

All descriptions in Lulu are hashtags, because longer free-form answers could earn the writer an accusation of libel. Some of the top hashtags include #OpensDoors, #CaptainFun, #MakesMeLaugh, #RespectsWomen, #AlwaysHappy, #CanTalkToMyDad, #NerdyButILikeIt, and the simple but effective #NotADick.

For a full list of the winning men, see the original post on Business Insider. For more on one of the dating services that conducted the study please read our review of Match.com.

How many potential dates do you think clicked on your profile, only to have their eyes glaze over when they saw your mediocre profile photo? Dozens? Hundreds? Maybe even thousands?

Of course your picture isn't the most important thing, but anyone who tries to tell you it isn't an important thing is either lying to you or lying to themselves. If your photos aren't up to par, you’re putting yourself at a serious disadvantage.

Before you book yourself time with a pricey photographer, know that professional headshots are absolutely unnecessary. All you need is to learn a few online dating photo hacks that make you look like a pro.

1. Go for quality, not quantity. One amazing photo will serve you better than 10 crappy ones. Your priority, of course, should be your profile picture. No filters, strange effects, or bizarre cropping. If you can only manage one photo, nail this. If you can post several, use the selection show off your face, your body, and your personality.
2. Don't be shy. You've seen the profile pictures that are taken from so far away you can barely tell there's a figure in them. And don't even get me started on the pictures of pets. Your profile photo is the time to get up close and personal with your real self. Don't post anything that requires a magnifying glass to verify that you are, in fact, in the picture. And unless you're looking for a mate for your cat (preferably also a feline), it should only appear in pictures alongside you.
3. Practice makes perfect. Camera shyness is totally cool. It happens. Professional models rock it when they get in front of the lens because they have tons of experience under their belts. If you get nervous when the camera comes out, spend some quality time with your mirror. Figure out your angles. Practice your poses. Learn how to put your best foot (or in this case "face") forward.
4. Play make-believe if it helps. Pretend the camera is someone you're flirting with. Imagine the confidence-boosting things they're saying to you. Go ahead and say them to yourself out loud, if you want. Do whatever it takes to get yourself feeling good and, as they say in the biz, make love to the camera.
5. Show off the right side – which is probably your left. Here's a fun fact: a study published in the journal Experimental Brain Research found that the left side is your best side, because it's more emotionally expressive. Is it a foolproof conclusion? Of course not. But it can't hurt to try.

Dating apps like Tinder have taken the dating world by storm – and some argue have rendered traditional online dating a thing of the past. While sites like Match.com and eHarmony offer matches based on preferences and compatibility, Tinder offers the ability to look at a photo and instantly decide whether or not you’re interested.

In a recent article in Business Insider, eHarmony’s Vice President of Brand Marketing Grant Langston looked at Tinder’s success as a boost to his business. For instance, he’s seen a surge of new subscriptions since Tinder launched in Australia – 2.5 million members, up from 2 million the same time last year.

“The press [Tinder is] receiving is bringing lots of people to the online dating world, including people that find Tinder isn’t the right choice for them,” Langston told Business Insider. “Globally, this trend has helped us tap into new markets and led to an increase in our membership numbers.”

But why are more people choosing eHarmony when Tinder seems to be taking off? For one thing, Langston argues that people who would have never joined an online dating site before find it a little easier to start when they use a dating app. It’s made online dating in general lose its stigma.

Langston also attributes the surge in subscriptions to the high quality matchmaking that is eHarmony’s business model, compared to Tinder’s superficial match-making process. With Tinder, choosing a match is entirely dependent on photos and a couple of sentences, which aren’t much better odds for finding love than meeting someone at a bar. There isn’t necessarily any kind of compatibility – aside from that initial physical attraction.

People who are matched on eHarmony however, are compatible in specific ways. Matches aren’t made via liking the same music or TV shows or someone’s photo, but based on similar dispositions and compatible personalities – which is a bit more complex and relational. Langston says that eHarmony’s matching creates a foundation for a relationship to start, where Tinder is more fleeting, intended for a hook-up. So when people are disappointed with the matches they are meeting through Tinder, they look to other more serious online dating options, which is when they gravitate to eHarmony.

Langston also noted that eHarmony’s growth in the past year has been due to young professionals ages 23-33 flocking to the site, looking for people who are more compatible whether or not they are looking to marry.

According to Langston, eHarmony owes much of its recent success to the fact that Tinder isn’t producing many serious relationships. Then again, it seems that despite the appeal of Tinder, people are looking for something deeper.

Dating website OkCupid has always been considered more cutting edge among the most popular online dating sites, and it is maintaining this effective strategy. Now, the company is offering its users even more choices when it comes to how they gender-identify, and what their sexual preferences are.

OkCupid’s main appeal is its approach to online dating, much more progressive than traditional sites, and also more fun to navigate. People are encouraged ask each other questions and be more original and unique without being forced to just fill in the blanks for their profiles or being walked through a long questionnaire.  

In other words, instead of being “guided” through a process, OkCupid users have always been given a little more freedom to interact and express themselves how they’d like. This works for users, and it works for OkCupid, too. The company started a blog using data from its own user base that reveals online dating trends and preferences that have come in very handy over the years. It helped OkCupid to offer a premium paid service based on the things people want – like filtering out people who don’t fit their physical ideals. One of its founders recently published a book with his findings about patterns and habits of people who online date, gained from tracking its own users.

So it is only fitting that OkCupid would be on the forefront of offering more choices when it comes to dating and how people describe themselves and what they want. After all, we don’t fit into neat little boxes, especially when it comes to love.

OkCupid’s first new offering allows people more choices for how they identify themselves, other than just as “man” or “woman.” Gender has now been extended to include agender, androgynous, cis man, cis woman, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, hjra, intersex, trans man, trans woman and two spirit, among others.

A person’s sexual orientation is no longer limited to straight, gay, and bi-sexual. Now users can choose among an abundance of choices, including asexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, pansexual, queer, questioning and sapiosexual (one who finds intelligence to be the most important sexual trait).

Right now, these options have only been rolled out to a limited number of users, and the company hasn’t announced when (or if) they will be extending it to all users.

According to website NewNowNext, users were notified of the change in a message from OkCupid: “You’re part of a select group with access to this feature. Keep in mind as we continue to work on this feature: For now, editing your gender and orientation is only supported on the desktop site.”

OkCupid has a reported 3.5 million user base.