Tips

If you’re wondering how to create the best online dating profile I can tell you that it all starts with honesty. Yes, honesty. As tempting and easy as it may be to puff ourselves up to something that we’re not when we’re creating our dating profile, you really are doing yourself an injustice by claiming to be anything other than what you are. As much as you may think you’ll fare better by saying that you’re an astronaut or actress, you’ll be setting yourself up for embarrassment and pretty much ensure that you end up alone once the jig is up—which it inevitably will be.

The best online dating profile is one that best reflects who you really are and describes what you are looking for to a tee. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for love or a fling because in the end, being honest is the only way to get what you really want because you’ll know that those who do contact you based on your profile are doing so because they like what they see—you! Being honest doesn’t have to mean listing every last detail about yourself of course. And honesty doesn’t require you to get down to the nitty-gritty in a way that may be unflattering. For example, you can admit to being short or fat without actually using those words to describe yourself and instead opt for wording that is a tad more appealing. Or, you could choose a current picture and let the picture do the talking and leave words for describing your personality as well as what you’re looking for.

Speaking of pictures; a profile with a picture always gets considerably more hits than one without, so including one is definitely a must if you want to create the best online dating profile for yourself. Be sure to choose a photo that is not only very recent but also shows your personality a little. A picture taken while doing something that you really enjoy or a candid shot of you laughing is always a great way to show yourself in the best and most genuine light. If a posed picture is all you’ve got, just make sure that it’s recent and shows exactly what you look like right now as opposed to a few years ago.

Finally, when it comes to how to create the best online dating profile you want to put some effort into what you write. As much as the photos may say, you still want to come across as someone with a personality worth getting to know. A sonnet isn’t necessary but you don’t want to be the schlep who only throws a sentence or two together and thinks that should be good enough! Your profile is your first impression and will be the deciding factor in whether or not someone contacts you or replies to your messages, so give it a little thought and try to stand out above the rest somehow.

As much time as you can spend talking to someone before meeting them, there’s no way to know for sure that the person you’ve agreed to meet for a date is really on the up and up. While most people you meet through online dating are genuine and harmless, the possibility of ending up with a bad apple does exist which is why you need these online dating safety tips. Remember that these tips aren’t meant to scare you or put you off of meeting people with online dating, but rather just to help you get the most out of your experience without putting yourself at risk.

Safety First

Chances are that someone you chat with online will prove themselves as date-worthy, making you want to meet them face-to-face. This is a great thing! But...you need to be smart about it and always put safety first. Enough time spent on the phone or messaging back and forth with someone can really help you get to know them so they hardly feel like a stranger when the time comes to meet, but you need to remember that until you have had some time live with the person, they are indeed still a stranger. This means using some common sense when getting together just in case this stranger ends up being a dud, a dude (who’s supposed to be a woman!) or even a serial killer! Here are the online dating safety tips that will keep you out of harm’s way:

•Never disclose your private information until you have really, truly gotten to know someone. This means your home phone number or address, place of business etc. You don’t want any dates-gone-wrong knowing where to find you once you’ve decided that you don’t want to see them again.

•Stick to meeting in public places until you’ve gotten to know each other better. Choose places like cafes, restaurants and bars and NOT parks, parking lots, or a residence.

•Always have your own ride or cab fare when meeting someone new. The last thing you want to do is get into a stranger’s car or have them get into yours. Have your own ride home arranged before you meet and be prepared to say no if they ask for a ride. You’re not being mean or rude, you’re just being safe!

•Leave if you’re feeling uncomfortable or threatened. Listen to your gut and leave if something just feels off about your date. You’re not obliged to stay anywhere that you don’t want to. Be courteous and bow out gracefully to avoid confrontation.

•Always tell someone where you’re going and if you can, who you are going with. This way someone will know to check in should you take longer than expected or not return. It may seem extreme but it’s an easy way to help keep you safe.

•Don’t think that you’re invincible. Men and women alike have the tendency of thinking that they can handle anything and anyone that comes their way and are quick to laugh off advice about online dating safety, but these tips will make your life a lot easier whether a date turns out to be truly unsavory or just someone that you have zero interest in and never want to see again.

They're the dates we dream of: perfect ones. Where the chai tea latte was just the right temperature, your date was exactly how he or she looked in their pictures, the steak was cooked to perfection and you both clicked like a metronome. You walk away thinking, "This is the one!"

And then the phone never rings again. Your calls go unanswered and you're left wondering, "Was it something I said? Did they get hit by a bus? Maybe they moved to Tanzania?!?"

There are some simple steps you can take to avoid the Perfect Date Blues. While something odd is going to happen during your dating career every now and then, you can keep the oddness from happening more often than not with a few precautionary moves. Keep your head and heart in the game!

Avoid the Pre-Date Build-Up
Especially in online dating, it's easy to have the tendency to carry on pre-first date conversations a bit too long. Over email and the phone, we can be whomever we'd like and make people into most anything we want. Avoid putting yourself in the position of turning your potential date into PlayDoh and molding them into the person you'd like them to be instead of the person they really are. Establish reasonable time frames between making a connection with someone and having your first face-to-face. A week is a good guideline, two tops if your schedules can't seem to align. There's no replacement for in-person chemistry!

Ask the Awkward Question
Which question is that? "Would you like to do this again?" Sometimes it's just assumed that everyone at the table had as good a time as you - but think about those dates where you had a perfectly good time, but there was no thing. You can't put your finger on it and the person across from you would make a great friend. Heck, you could hang out with them for hours and days! But you just didn't see the romantic potential. Give your date an out, and if you're offered the out, remember what it feels like to have Mr. or Miss Wonderful go MIA on you after what you thought was a great date. Decline kindly and set that person free to find their ideal match. You're doing them a favor.

Keep it Brief
There's really no reason to have an epic first date. Keep your initial meeting brief. This is a good guideline to adhere to even if you're not on a first date from an online dating site. Grab coffee, talk a walk around the park, bring your pups to the dog park. Have a time limit and a place to be after. You'll know if you want to see one another again and if you have someplace to be instead of right there, you'll be more apt to start planning that next date right there! Give yourself the opportunity to have a life while looking for your perfect partner. If you're always available, there's no thrill of the hunt for your partner and nothing to look forward to. Limit your first date time and if the chemistry is right, create that awesome sense of urgency for scheduling the next go-round with Mr. or Miss Wonderful.

See? It's pretty easy to avoid the Perfect Date Blues. All you have to do is allow yourself the opportunity to be successful! Not every date is going to result in forever (and thank heavens for that), but those dates that do go well have a better chance of being a repeat event if you give them some breathing room.

Do you find yourself at the same coffee shop date after date? Same bar? Same restaurant? We all have places we're comfortable and there's nothing wrong with comfort, but if you're looking to break out of your bubble, we've got some great (and free!) resources for you to use. Since you're reading this article, we know you've got access to the web. That's all you need to find the next cool spot to meet on your next date.

Yelp
The cool thing about Yelp is that it's a city-specific guide built around user reviews of each location included in its directory. Hence, you know what to expect, straight from the horse's mouth, before you step foot in the door. If you've never been to Yelp.com, it's free and simple to use. You can search in your own backyard and by such criteria as name, type of food or activity. The results will pull up on a map and you can see how close each location is to your starting point (great if you're on the go and looking to grab a quick bite or a fun afternoon adventure). You can also read the review and find which locations boast the best margarita or hot wings to die for. Trust the other Yelpers to guide you to a homerun. If you'd like, you can join Yelp for free and leave your own reviews along the way.

CitySearch
A bit older than Yelp, CitySearch.com is another city-by-city guide to what's the latest and greatest in pretty much every niche you can imagine. Night clubs to restaurant and hair salons, you'll be able to read a business profile, hours of operation, get a link to the business's website and read user reviews (if available). Like Yelp, you can leave your own reviews by simply joining as a member and if you're in search of a hot date spot, that's a criteria you can search by, too!

When you connect with someone in the online dating space, it's tempting to keep that connection in a virtual place for quite some time. Longer than necessary, in fact. I'm here to make the case for the speedy first date, as none of us are getting any younger and there's no real time to lose. If schedules align and desire exists, put those car keys in the ignition and get thee to a coffee shop - you're going on a date!

Take it Offline

I write for a living. Day in, day, out. While most people do not, this gives me added insight. I don't want to relegate to email or phone any potential relationship longer than is necessary. See, you can edit emails. You can mute phones. You don't have to respond to facial expressions in either scenario. This makes for...well, a pretty artificial way to begin a potential relationship. Sure - emails and phone calls serve to break the ice and let you know if you might "click" with your new match in-person, but get in one another's faces as soon as you can. That's human and where the magic really happens.

Ships Passing...Make them Collide

Ever connect with someone online who can't ever seen to make their schedule jive with yours? I call it the Interminable Conflict. Here's the bottom line: if you're really interested in someone, you'll make the time to meet. If all you can come up with are excuses, then they're probably not too far up your food chain. Pushing for the initial meeting sooner rather than later lets you know if someone might be wasting your time in the long haul.

I'm Busy

Here's the scoop - if an online match is too busy before you even meet to meet you or respond in a timely manner to your emails or phone calls, what would he or she be like in a relationship? Tons of people travel for business or have regular events throughout the week. No one is too busy to make time and if they are, it's better to call them on it now and silently move on. Unlike "ships passing," it's better to leave these folks to their excuses and not push for the meeting. How fun is it to sit down with a clock-watcher? If you meet someone with itchy pants, take a line from The Redhead: "It seems like you'd rather be somewhere else. I can help you with that. We can call it an afternoon/a night. I'll get the check."

While there are no shortage for online dating websites, trying to figure out what might best float your boat can be a task. Free or paid? Mobile application or no? Culture-specific or all-inclusive? There's a site for just about anyone under the sun.

Now, you may not be new to the online dating scene. Maybe you're just popping back in after a break and need to see what's out there now that you're back in circulation. Wherever you're at in the grand scheme of things, we've put together a list that may help you sort through the sea of sites and get you out on dates sooner rather than later. Do keep in mind, though: you get out of an online dating site exactly what you put into it. It's not a magic bean that you can plant, because even beans need water, too!

Figure out what's important. Many people have strong attachments to religious or cultural viewpoints. If these are non-negotiable aspects for your future relationships, don't make light of them. You may want to explore some niche online dating sites that put you in the mix with people just like you. JDate, BlackSingles and Catholic Mingle are juts a few examples of these kinds of sites. There are also sites that cater to certain financial demographics, such as MillionaireMatch.com and Sugardaddie.com. Everyone has a different set of priorities and there's surely a site out there that will offer you a better change of finding a good match based on those priorities.

Establish a budget. Online dating sites range from free to $50-$100 per month. Determine what you're looking to spend and stick with that budget. As many people ultimately join more than one site, take that factor into account as well. Multiple membership fees can add up quickly and you may begin to feel too financially drained to focus on finding your ideal match.

Determine your geography. If you live in Manhattan, will you travel to Brooklyn for a date? It's something to consider. While there may always be an exception to the rule, understanding your geographical limits when you establish your online dating profile keeps you from wasting your time and that of others. Every area has its travel dynamics and you know better than anyone else how easy it is for you to get to surrounding areas. If you won't go, don't say you will. Now, it's also good to consider long-distance relationships. Are you cut out for one? Maybe you don't mind hopping on a plane to go meet someone exciting who lives a mere 3 hour flight away. Know your limits, share them with those reviewing your profile and be honest.

Budget your time. Like we alluded to at the beginning, nothing's going to grow in the online dating garden if you don't water it. While you don't have to feel as if you have to be connected for every second of every day, schedule time in your day to review your online dating accounts. Keep messages from distracting you at work by setting up a web-based email account to catch your e-flirtations. Log in and look at new profiles on a regular basis. If you find yourself not having the time to devote make your profile inactive and remove it from search results. Nothing's worse than letting your inbox fill-up for days and weeks with your possible matches never hearing a word back from you. Keep in mind as well that every online dating site out there allows you to establish "preferences." These are things like the frequency you receive emails (if at all), if you receive "flirt" or "wink" notices via email or if they're simply stored for you to view in your online account and if your profile is visible in search results. Take advantage of those and tailor your online dating experience to suit your needs.