Tips

We hear a lot of daters complain about how tough it is to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Because there are people who casually date over apps, behave badly with each other, or mislead their dates, it’s discouraging to think about finding a serious relationship. Many of us paint men and women in broad brushstrokes – good or bad.

But this is simply not accurate.

Instead of stereotyping someone else as the "bad guy" or falling into old patterns when a date doesn’t work out, or getting discouraged that there are “no good ones out there,” change your perspective. There are ways to tell if a guy is boyfriend material before you get your heart broken:

When we think of romance, most of us think of scenes from movies or luxurious vacations. What woman doesn’t like getting all dressed up as she waits for her man to take her for a romantic dinner by candlelight, or whisks her away on a weekend getaway near the beach?

While these scenarios are great, they are also expensive, stressful, and a little bit cliché. Instead of impressing your date with how much money you can spend on her or what impressive vacation you can take her on, try thinking a little more creatively. There are plenty of ways to be romantic on a budget, so you don’t put such a dent in your wallet.

Following are some ideas:

It’s 2016, and most of us lead pretty busy lives. We are constantly on our phones, making to-do lists, pursuing career ambitions, and taking care of family members to the point where sometimes it feels like there’s no free time, especially for dating. Dating can sometimes feel like a chore, or worse – a waste of time when you aren’t meeting anyone who clicks.

But before you give up on dating and proclaim yourself too busy, try taking a different approach.

Think about the process from your potential date’s perspective. Do you seem hard to pin down to schedule a date? Are you squeezing your dates in to 20-minute coffee shop dates to avoid wasting time? Are you only half-paying attention when you are on a date?

If so, you might be sending out a signal to potential mates that you’re just not that interested, and even more to the point - not that available.

Picture a David Attenborough documentary. He's explaining the mating call of a South American tree frog, or the mating dance of a rare bird. Researchers have sunk hours of study into the mating rituals of Earth's various winged, scaled, and furry creatues.

And humans? We may not have the wings, scales, and fur, or the charming British narrator, but scientists are just as dedicated to discovering the secrets of our own mating habits. Thousands of subjects in hundreds of studies have made calculated dating movies – some right, some wrong – so that you can learn from their actions.

While every study has its limitations, we can use research to shed light on what does and doesn't work, hopefully upping our chances of success in the process. Tech Insider compiled 7 dating tips science says singles should follow if they're serious about finding love, including:

Romantics chalk the perfect first date up to serendipity, or fate, or the machinations of a fat winged child with an arsenal of arrows. As for realists, they prefer to rely on science to explain the inexplicable.

If it sounds like a tall order - maybe too tall - you’re right. Research may never fully decode a phenomenon as complex as love, but that won’t stop scientists from trying. Countless studies and surveys have been devoted to unmasking the mysteries of love and attraction. Some are more credible than others, and all should be taken with an appropriate amount of salt, but their conclusions are intriguing food for thought.

The following studies have attempted to illuminate the art of the ideal first date.

You have that friend. The friend who says they don’t need online dating because they don’t have trouble meeting people in real life. Or the friend who says they don’t want to try a dating service because they would rather meet someone face-to-face.

If you’re a regular online dater, it almost sounds quaint - a relic of the past, like a Ford Model T or a flip phone. Dating apps and sites have become so ubiquitous that they’ve fundamentally changed how we meet and mate. Exploring your romantic options offline feels like a lost art, but studies say it’s still the #1 way couples meet.

Does that mean you should kick your online dating habit like a junk food addiction? Of course not. But if the only way you date is through a digital device, it may be time for a refresher course on how to meet people IRL. Here are 3 lessons to get you started:

#1 Diversify Your Destinations

Your phone and your laptop are no longer your wingmen. Where do you go to meet potential matches? The most common answer is a bar or a club, and though those aren’t inherently wrong options, they’re limiting. Expand your horizons and your odds expand along with them. Visit parks, book stores, wineries, bowling alleys, a cooking class - anywhere you’re in the presence of new people. Bonus points if you choose a place that means you and any intriguing strangers already share a common interest.

#2 Actively Stretch Your Social Muscles

Your social skills may be rusty if you haven’t used them in a while (and even if you think they’re solid, there’s always room for improvement). Give your social muscles the workout they need by intentionally exercising them. Challenge yourself to talk to a stranger for no reason, or to smile at 10 random people each day, or to go somewhere even if your friends say they can’t make it. When you push yourself socially, you open yourself to a whole new world of connections.

#3 Flee The Comfort Zone

Break out of your routine. If you go to the same restaurants, same bars, same coffee shops, and you’re not meeting the kind of person you’re interested in, it’s time to make a change. When opportunities for new experiences present themselves, take them. When they don’t, create them. Explore your hobbies and sign up for the classes you’ve been meaning to take. Not only will you be exposed to a whole new dating pool, you’ll be making yourself a more interesting date at the same time.