Safety

An online dating profile can tell you a lot about a person - Does she smoke? Does he want children? What are his hobbies? Where did she go to school? - but there are a few key things that you will probably never find in someone's profile, like arrest records, sex offender status, and financial history.

When you're meeting someone in person, things like body language, tone of voice, and pace of speech offer a lot of clues about the truthfulness of what your date is telling you. But when all of the information you know about someone has been gathered from the text of profiles, emails, and instant messaging conversations, it is much more difficult to determine if your date is being dishonest.

So how do you protect yourself from predators?

You could try asking something along the lines of "Hey, you don't happen to have a criminal record, do you?" but it's not the smoothest of pickup lines and I have a tiny hunch that most prospective dates would consider it a turn-off. Instead, I recommend a more subtle (and confidential!) approach: the online criminal background check.

A background check is the ideal way to discretely find out if someone you're interested in is a liar or a potential lover. If you find nothing suspicious, you haven't hurt your date's feelings or made them uncomfortable with the aforementioned awkward pickup line, and if you do find something that makes you nervous you still have time to walk away from the situation easily.

Some Web sites, like DateDetective.com, cater specifically to online dating, but most sites conduct general background checks on either a statewide or a nationwide level. FreeBackgroundChecksUSA.com, for instance, presents basic facts about each state (like population and largest city) as well as information on crime rates within the state. They also provide links to the National Sex Offender Registry, and places where you can find out more about criminal records, incarceration records, and court records.

SnoopStation.com offers a free option that takes you through a short questionnaire to determine exactly what information you'd like to acquire and what information you already have. If you know the person's name, you then have the option to search his or her criminal history, financial history (or occupational details), marital/relationship history, vital details (like name, age, and SSN), location, or to simply find out as much information as possible about the person. If you do not know the person's name, you can search using his or her phone number, address, email address, or Web site URL.

CriminalSearches.com is a very easy-to-use site that provides information using a simple system of symbols that puts offenses into several categories: Behavioral, Business, Drug & Alcohol, Sex Related, Theft/Robbery, Violent, and Traffic/Other. Like many other online background check sites, CriminalSearches.com offers basic information for free and redirects to a paid service for a more detailed report.

I recommend searching several different sites and comparing the results, to ensure the accuracy of their information. You can also check accuracy by running a search on your own name. If you ever find yourself worrying about the honesty of someone you've met online, don't hesitate to conduct a quick search on an online background check site. The old adage is true: better safe than sorry!

There are many articles online which talk about dating safety and scammers. I found one recently which had a number of good points on how to protect your credit. We have talked about most of these tips before but it is always good to review them every now and then, not just to protect yourself online, but offline as well. I also included some additional safety tips of my own.

Leave the Income Field Blank

Most dating sites allow you to specify your annual income and your area of employment. Revealing this information may make you a potential target of some scammers.

Style of Writing

Constant spelling and grammar mistakes combined with broken English are a sure sign that the person you are emailing may not be the person he or she says they are. If they are from a city you are familiar with, ask them a question about it that someone only living there would know.

A popular English web news portal for Africa wrote a piece on Nigerians who have used online dating sites. Apparently a lot of Nigerians who use dating sites fear being scammed, they treat dating sites as a two edged sword, something to be handled with care. Interesting enough the two success stories mentioned featured a Nigerian man living in the UK and a Germany business man who met a woman online living in Nigeria. Both deal with a person outside of the country.

No numbers are given but the article states that:

Internet dating appears to be fast gaining ground amongst Nigerian youths

This may be true but I have to wonder to what end. We did a story recently which looked at young Nigerians who used dating sites to try to scam money from unsuspecting people. Here in North America, for better or worse, when someone mentions an online dating scammer, people think of Nigerians. This is because a large percentage of the cases evolving dating scams reported in the media, the country Nigeria is mentioned.

I have no doubt that a large percentage of Nigerians on dating sites are there for the right reasons, to meet a partner. Dating scammers come from all countries and so everyone needs to be careful and use common sense. If someone asks you for money, it doesn't matter where they are from, igonre the request and move on.

For the full story visit AllAfrica.com.

Whether you’re new to the world of online dating or not, it doesn’t necessarily get easier to keep meeting new faces. You’ve got your “standby” meeting locations for drinks or coffee and first dates. But are there ways to be even safer with the entire online dating process?

I discovered a tool called FaceFile awhile back and wanted to share it with the “dating public.”

FaceFile can be used with any camera-equipped cell phone (and I hear they have an iPhone app and Blackberry/JavaScript app coming out soon). It works as simple as this:

Step 1: Visit FaceFile online and sign up for your FREE personal account (I love that it’s FREE!).

Step 2: Add the address for your FaceFile secure photo lockbox to your phone’s address book.

Step 3: Take a photo of new people you’re meeting via online dating. Just say, “Hi! Would you mind if I took your photo? It uploads to a secure database called FaceFile and isn’t visible to anyone. It’s a personal safety tool I use and I hope you understand that I’m just trying to do this online dating thing the smart way!”

Step 4: Text the picture to your FaceFile account.

The photos you take are stored securely online. They are not shared with anyone. Instead, an alert is sent out to a network of people you’ve established with your FaceFile account. This network receives an email that you’re uploaded a new photo and to check in on you. While your phone might ring during your date, that’s easy to manage!

Since your safety is of the utmost importance, FaceFile lets you enter into new environments with new people with a greater level of security. If the act of you taking a person’s picture discourages them from doing you harm – FaceFile has worked perfectly. If anything goes awry, however, you have a trusted network of people who know that they should check in on you. While they can’t see the photo, they can reach out to make sure you’re OK an if necessary, alert law enforcement that something’s not right.

Since installing FaceFile on my phone, I’ve only used it once and it was to take a photo of someone yelling into a car window in front of me at a stoplight. As predicted, I got a few phone calls from my Network, but that’s OK. The system worked!

If you want to learn more about FaceFile and how to use it, you can visit their online demo. If you don’t feel safe in the online dating game, you may be missing out on Mr. or Mrs. Right. FaceFile is another tool that can help you if you feel it’s a fit.

You’ve got something that those young whippersnappers don’t: a lifetime of experience and common sense. But how can you play this to your advantage when it comes to getting back into the dating scene?

Dating has changed since we first ventured out there. While the ideas of courtship aren’t completely dead, the lines of propriety have been blurred. You should never have to worry about your personal safety when it comes to dating, however. By using that lifetime of common sense you’ve accumulated along with a few tips, you’ll be in the mix of things and enjoying the process of getting to know new people. Now, that’s better than worrying, isn’t it? Here’s a list to get you started with safe dating (and while these tips aren’t just for seniors, we won’t tell anyone!) :

In Mecklenburg County, North Carolina reported rape cases are up 16 percent this year. The county has a population of almost 1 million people and the Charlotte-Mecklenburg police are blaming "Internet dating and online classifieds offering sexual services" as one of the main reasons for the rise in rape cases. Across America the number of reported rapes has increased by 30 percent since 1993. Part of these increases are attributed to less shame in the social stigma of being a victim and in the city of Charlotte's case, stepped up outreach programs.

The Charlotte police have also contacted Craigslist,

... asking the online posting company to warn women advertising personal services that Charlotte had become too dangerous for them.

In Mecklenburg, the previous 2 years saw a downward trend in rape cases but with the rise this year, the police are for some reason pointing the finger at adult Internet dating services. Online dating is not, new and has been very popular over the last 5 years. With Craigslist in the news lately (see Story) I think they were just an easy target for the police to lay blame. Craigslist is of course not completely blameless here and it is well known they are having problems with illegal services being posted in their online personals category, it's just that these problems have been going on for a number of years, not just in the last year when Mecklenburg County has seen the rise in reported rapes.