Tips

Many of us have felt romantic feelings towards our workplace colleagues. After all, when we spend so much time in the same environment and around the same people, attraction is bound to surface. But is it a good idea to start an office romance?

A recent American Management Association survey revealed 40 percent of office workers queried had engaged in office flirting. Out of those, 43 percent of the women confessed to having sex with a colleague, whereas only 35 percent of the men owned up to having office sex. Office romance is happening, but are those participating willing to commit or even admit to it?

Following are some simple guidelines to follow before pursuing the guy or girl in the cubicle next to yours:

Know your company's policy about office romance. Workplaces are tricky to navigate. Some have strict no-fraternizing policies, while others are accepting as long as no favoritism is shown between a boss and subordinate. Before you get involved, it's important to become familiar with your office's specific guidelines surrounding this so you don't put your job at risk.

Ask yourself what you want out of it. If you are looking for casual sex, no strings attached, be certain that the object of your affection feels the same. There is nothing messier than a co-worker who feels jilted by you.

Ask yourself if you can trust your co-worker. If he or she has a reputation of being a player or talking about sexual conquests, then be cautious before getting involved. Build your friendship and loyalty first. Otherwise, you may end up feeling hurt and embarrassed when other colleagues find out about your triste.

Are you willing to live with the consequences? After all, this is your workplace, the source of your livelihood. There's a lot at stake. If a romance goes south, are you willing to deal with the pain of seeing this person on a daily basis, and perhaps with a new boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you willing to take another job? Things won't always end well, so be willing to accept the consequences.

Keep it offline. Although instant messenger, texting, and email are fun and flirtatious, avoid these temptations. In the office, all emails, texts, etc. are property of the company if you're using their equipment. If you don't want your superiors to know the details of your romantic life, keep it to in-person conversations.

Before the age of Google and Twitter, dating might have seemed less complicated. However, now there are more opportunities than ever before, and the dating process moves fast. Following are some new rules I put together to help maximize those opportunities as well as keep your expectations in check.

No more waiting. Instead of sitting around the obligatory three days before calling someone who interests you, pick up your mobile and text her. Ask her out, or thank him for the last date and ask when you'll see each other again. If you wait too long, you might miss your opportunity to connect.

Text, please. While phone calls and emails are great, if you really want to stay connected with your dates you have to start texting. I don't mean texting her every five minutes. I mean sending a thoughtful text to show your interest. This goes a long way in maintaining a connection established on a date.

Go online. If you haven't tried online dating, now you must. Most single men and women have tried it at least once. This is a great way for people to meet, better than relying on networks of friends and family. Opportunities abound. There's no point in dismissing it or thinking it never works. It does for hundreds of couples every year.

Age is a mindset. Now that people are single well into their thirties or forties, and it's time to rethink your dating age restrictions. If someone takes care of himself or herself, is happy, healthy, and attractive, don't dismiss them just because they may be a few years older than what you pictured.

Be careful of what you say online. Facebook and Google make it easier than ever to track people down and learn their histories. If you post nasty comments about an ex, or drunk pictures of you at your friend's party, is that what you want potential dates to see? Think before you post to avoid digital mishaps.

Manners matter. It seems that returning phone calls promptly, picking up the tab, and other chivalrous gestures go a long way in making a good impression. The little considerations really matter to the person you're trying to win over, so don't think that acting cool and distant will help. It's thoughtfulness that really sets you apart.

When Shape and Men's Fitness combined forces to determine if sex has been affected by the digital age, the answer was a clear, resounding, unequivocal, emphatic YES! What the 1,200 male and female survey respondents couldn't agree on, however, were the exact ways in which advancing technology has changed relationships and intimacy. Most importantly: Is technology helping our sex lives, or hurting them?

Opinions were split. Those who believed that technology was destroying intimacy put forth a powerful argument. 35% of women said that being in a state of constant connectivity with the world made the time spent with their partners feel less intimate. And although texting is convenient, most women (65%) would prefer to be asked out in person or with a phone call, and 43% have had to suffer through the awkwardness of a breakup via text message (only 27% of men, in contrast, had been dumped in a text).

Mobile phones can also take a negative toll on relationships in other ways. Though most people said that they would ignore a text message or phone call during sex, 7% admitted that they would disrupt the mood long enough to silence their cell and an entire 6% said they would stop to answer it! Now that's a serious addiction!

On the other hand, for those who believed that the digital age has improved their sex lives, new technology provided novel ways to establish, maintain, and improve intimacy with partners. 58% of guys said that they believe that the constant connection provided by modern technology, and the flirting opportunities provided by things like Facebook, text message, Twitter, and BBM, help them score with women more quickly. Nearly 80% of women agreed that technology is useful for creating intimacy faster, but only 38% claimed they'd actually slept with men sooner.

After the initial hookup, a large majority of women (70%) reported "sexing" their lovers to spice things up in the bedroom, and texting has become so popular that it is now the most common method of communication used within relationships.

The ladies and gentlemen polled also expressed their love for the bedroom-boosting capabilities of Skype and that old classic: Internet porn. About 10% had had Skype sex, and another 20% said they're dying to give it a try. 50% of the women polled by Shape said that they watch porn online and, though most (82%) have no problems with the men in their lives watching porn solo, 18% said they would be furious if they missed the chance to watch a naughty video with their partner.

Online dating websites have, clearly, changed the face of relationships forever. 30% of the readers Shape polled had joined a dating site at some point, but more than half who had met their sweetie online refused to admit it to others.

And of course I can't forget about Facebook! The site that permanently altered friendship has also had an effect on dating. It only takes a month or two for the majority of people to update their relationship status on Facebook when a new man or woman enters their life which means, according to Shape, that "regardless of the tech revolution," "the most important thing remains the same: you've still got faith in love."

Many of us have tried online dating. There are so many ways to meet people that the old cliché of "there's nobody out there" is not only counter-productive, but untrue. So, maybe it's time to stand up and introduce yourselves to the 96 million other American adults who are single (not to mention all the singles in other countries!)

Since not all singles are online, there are other ways to meet them. The best strategy is being open to any and all opportunities, because you never know when and how you'll meet. Life can take you by surprise. Isn't that the beauty of the process?

Following are some places (outside the bar scene) where you can be open to meeting new people and asking them out. What's to lose?

Coffee shops. This one may seem obvious, but it's really a good place and is often overlooked. Many people spend significant time hoping to "run into" a prospective date by waiting in line for their favorite latte, but then don't actually talk to anyone because they get intimidated. Next time, speak up and say hello to the cute guy standing next to you. You never know.

Public transportation. I live in L.A. which doesn't lend itself to mass transit, but if you live in the northeastern U.S., San Francisco, or other places more subway-friendly, use it! Talk to the woman you see every day going to work. Ask her what she's listening to, or what she's reading. It's time to make an introduction.

Grocery stores. I've gotten a few dates while strolling leisurely down the aisles. If you're always in a hurry, you could miss that guy who keeps trying to catch you in the produce section. Pay attention, smile, and invite conversation.

Walking your dogs. If you don't have a dog, walk around your neighborhood. This is another great way I met several dates. If you've noticed a cute guy walking his dog at 6:30 every evening, make a point to say hello and start a conversation. There's no time like the present.

Laundromats. Since you have nothing but time to kill while you're waiting for your clothes to dry, it's a great time to strike up conversation. Ask to borrow some laundry detergent or fabric softener, even if you have some. The point is, be brave and approach.

Remember to be courageous when it comes to meeting people. The more often you practice, the better you get.

Technology has invaded every aspect of our lives, from the classroom, to the boardroom, to - you guessed it! - the bedroom.

Shape and Men's Fitness recently polled 1,200 men and women in an attempt to discover exactly how the digital revolution has affected our relationships and sex lives.

What did they find?

Social media has unleashed the inner stalker in pretty much everyone.

• About 81% of people surveyed said they didn't de-friend their exes on Facebook...which could be considered a positive indicator that friendship is possible after a breakup, were it not for the fact that 75% also admitted to placing their exes under a strict surveillance routine.
• 72% of women also admitted to keeping a close eye one their current boyfriends' former flames.
• And guys, if you're still friends with your ex-girlfriend, there's a 39% chance your current lady is angry about it.
• 63% of men said that they investigate a woman online before going on a date with her. 70% of women revealed that they do the same thing.
• Women are also more likely to snoop within a relationship. 49% said that they had checked their partner's computer history, and 76% had gone through a boyfriend's email inbox if it was "accidentally left open."

Sometimes, technology makes things better.

• Texting is the number one method lovers use to keep in touch with each other. Men choose texting over calling 39% of the time, while women use texting 150% as often.
• Sexting is especially popular: 70% of women have sent a sexy text to their lover, and more than two-thirds sent their partner scandalous photos.

But sometimes, it makes things worse.

• 39% of women surveyed said they would rather give up sex for a year their part with their cell phones, compared with the 80% of men who said they would give up their phones in a heartbeat.
• While 31% of women are OK with being asked out by text message, the majority - at 65% - prefer to be called.

Luckily, technology doesn't always bring out the bad in us. More than 85% of men said that, if they had to choose, they would take cuddling after sex over post-coital Web surfing, and nearly 50% of survey respondents claimed that their sex lives have never been better.

Want more? Check out Part II for further revealing results from the high-tech sex survey.

As I mentioned in part I of my series on texting and dating, many people rely on texting as their primary means of communication. While this is convenient, it's not always a good thing for budding relationships. (See previous list of texting DON'Ts.)

On the other hand, texting is a great way to show your creativity and keep a connection going after a great date. Let's face it, we all get busy and don't have the time to send off a long email or make a phone call. But texting allows us to check in quickly and easily. Plus, it keeps the excitement going until the next time you see each other.

Following are some texting DO's that can help move your relationships forward:

DO text to confirm plans. If you're meeting someone for a drink, send a quick text to confirm, or to let them know if you're running late. Simple gestures like these go a long way in showing someone you've just started dating that you are considerate and not a flake.

DO text a thank-you after the date. Gone are the days of waiting three days for a phone call. Instead, most relationships move forward or fall off quickly. Send your date a brief text thanking him for the date and letting him know you'd like to get together again. Then let him respond...no need to keep texting indefinitely with no response.

DO text flirtatiously. If you are excited about someone you just met and want to keep the connection going, it's okay to get a little flirty over text. Show your creativity and be clever. But don't be tempted to send naked photos even if you think your texts have progressed to "sexts". Far too many bad things can happen, from your picture getting posted online to offending the object of your affection. Save that for in-person time.

DO text promptly. There's no need to wait several days before responding to a text to keep a guy or girl interested. If you get a text, try to respond within a couple of hours. This shows your interest. If you wait, he might assume you're not and move on.

For further tips and advice on this topic, check out our review of Guy's Guide to Texting.