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A recent article in Vanity Fair made the argument that apps like Tinder have ruined dating. Reporter Nancy Jo Sales interviewed single twenty-somethings to get their impressions of online dating, and it wasn’t pretty. They admit that “Tinder sucks” and yet they still keep swiping for lack of a better way to date.

Part of the problem, she argues, is that people have a hook-up mentality with dating apps, and men especially. They meet girls to have sex under the guise of pretending to date them, and women have been burned more than once – making them skeptical that any guy wants a relationship.

This argument isn’t a new one. But the reporter feels that dating apps are the real problem – the technology, not the people using them. Let me be more precise: dating apps make it easier than ever to meet new people, providing a way for those who are averse to commitment to do a date-and-dump.

The problem I see with this argument is that it assumes technology is the problem. If we ditched dating apps and online dating in general and went back to an “easier time” – say 1995 – when dating was supposedly alive and well, and all single people were looking for long-term romance. But this just wasn’t the case. In fact, people would hook up and avoid commitment with relative ease – they just did it in person at bars and clubs, rather than through a dating app. Maybe their choices were limited, but the behavior wasn’t much better.

Remember The Rules – dating advice lexicon of that decade? It centered around dealing with men who had commitment issues, basically teaching women how to use their sexuality and femininity to get what they wanted – a relationship.

We’ve come a lot further in our relationship progress in my opinion, partly in thanks to online dating. Dating apps have helped make online dating mainstream. They have allowed shy types to interact more easily with new people. And yes – while some people do use them for hooking up, many others are looking for real love.

Dating takes time. It takes meeting a lot of people before a connection happens. That is the nature of dating – and with a dating app, the haystack is considerably bigger when you are just trying to find that one needle. So it will take you that much longer.

Instead of getting discouraged and giving up dating apps and online dating altogether, it’s time for a different approach. Let’s embrace online dating. Be truthful about what you want so you don’t waste someone else’s time. And most importantly, be respectful to your dates and you’ll find yourself meeting people who will respect you in return.

Thanks to Tinder and online dating, there is a bit of a gap between communicating with someone online and actually meeting them in person – IRL if you will. For instance, let’s say you match with someone you find attractive, and then send her a message. She responds right away, and you have a good text/ message rapport. So you decide to ask her out for a drink. Suddenly, she is busy with work, is out of town, and has no time right now to meet.

You feel your hopes deflating with each excuse. It is disappointed to get emotionally invested in someone online, only to have them flake out when it actually comes to the date. Rest assured, you’re not alone.

I’ve been on both sides of this scenario. It is frustrating to adjust your own schedule to make room for dating, and then your matches don’t return the same courtesy to you. Maybe she is busy with work, or maybe she is traveling a lot right now. I remember postponing first dates due to scheduling conflicts, but I quickly found out my matches dropped away like flies, looking for someone who would be available to date. And if you’re on the receiving end of your match’s excuses? Ask yourself: do you really want a relationship with someone who doesn’t have enough motivation to meet you in the first place?

If you have a little more patience, suggest talking on the phone in the meantime. And set some plans in the near future when your calendars are free and she is in town.

And if she resists that, too, claiming she just doesn’t have the time? Take heart: this is probably not a real person you are dealing with – or at least, a person who is really interested in dating or finding a relationship. This could be a scam at the very worst – and at the very best, she is someone who is unsure of what she really wants. Unless you want to end up in a textual relationship at best, or scammed out of money or emotions at worst, it's best not to even bother continuing the communication.

Remember, this is your dating life. You have the right to expect others to actually date if they are on a dating app. Don’t resign yourself to accepting an endless stream of text messages that go nowhere. Instead of lingering in your messaging app, hoping someday to take things offline, cut to the chase sooner. Ask him or her out for a drink or coffee. If they put off meeting you, move on to the next.

It’s hard to know if there will be a spark between you until you are looking at each other in person, IRL. So meet your dates.

There have been a lot of breakthroughs recently for the LGBTQ community. The Supreme Court ruled on the legality of gay marriage across America, overriding state laws that made it illegal. Caitlyn Jenner disclosed her transition from male to female in an interview with Diane Sawyer, and later showed off her new body in Vanity Fair to a public that embraced her. Celebrities like Ruby Rose and Miley Cyrus have recently stated that they identify as “gender-fluid,” or as both male and female, bringing gender identity conversations into the spotlight.

It only makes sense that in this moment of time where people feel more free than ever to live their truth – there is also a dating app that helps you find that special someone, no matter how you identify. At least, that is what OneGoodCrush aims to do.

Launched this week, OneGoodCrush aims to help people in the LGBTQ community find long-term relationships. But they aren’t limiting their potential user base. Founder Frank Mastronuzzi wants everyone to feel they can find someone special using the app, including those who identify as heterosexual, or who do not define themselves as male or female.

"We wanted to be inclusive of everyone -- even heterosexual people can use our app," he told USA Today. "Letters on LGBTQ keep adding over time, but wherever you fall on this spectrum, you have a place on this app."

OneGoodCrush connects users through their Facebook and Instagram accounts to pull photos and profile information. The app works like Tinder and other dating apps, where each user is presented with photos and profiles, allowing them to swipe left and right to reject or accept a match. But while other dating apps like Tinder and Grindr offer same-sex dating options, they are limited when it comes to allowing users to communicate their own gender identity. The big difference between OneGoodCrush and other dating apps is that its members can claim their own gender identity -- man, woman, transgender man, transgender woman, or queer -- and then choose the gender(s) they are seeking.

According to the company’s records, the app has so far attracted about 100,000 users since its soft launch three months ago. Of the users that have signed onto the app, 57% identify as gay, 37% identify as lesbian, 4% have identify as transgender, 1% identify as queer, and less than 1% identify as straight.

Having the ability to identify as a transgender seems obvious in online dating, but it hasn’t been the case. As Trish McDermott, Strategic Advisor for OneGoodCrush states: "It seems online dating is one of the last bastions separating people, and that is kind of mind blowing. I think the industry has a responsibility to invite everyone."

Online dating sites have long wrestled with replicating the experience of dating in real life.

Offline, the love of your life may find you at any moment. You could be standing in the produce section of the grocery store, wondering how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe, when suddenly an attractive stranger appears to help you pick. It's all about serendipity.

Online, dating feels calculated. You'll never randomly bump into The One. But if U.K.-based Tab has anything to say about it, serendipitous meetings could soon be a part of your digital dating life.

Tab isn't a dating website. It's not a trendy new mobile app. In fact, it's a browser extension for Chrome. Every time a user opens a new tab, they're shown a potential match. If they're not intrigued by what they see, they simply carry on with business as usual. If they do feel a spark, they click a heart button. Mutual “hearts” are connected.

"Imagine you could bump into the love of your life on any corner of the Internet, just like in real life," Shib Hussain, one of Tab's co-founders, told Fast Company. "It was a light bulb moment. We were discussing how online dating is actually pretty time consuming, regardless of what platform."

“You have to actively look for people, switching from ‘not looking’ to ‘I am looking.’ And this isn’t how it is in real life," he said. "You just bump into people and it just happens."

Tab works its magic based on the profile users fill out during sign-up. The fledgling company is also testing out a more intriguing concept: matching people based on the types of sites they visit. It sounds ripe for a debate about online privacy, but the idea is interesting nonetheless.

Productivity gurus may also find fault with the extension. Tab is aimed at users over 25 who are trying to find a healthy work-life balance, but it may be hard to focus on the work part if life interrupts every time you open a new tab.

Hussain says Tab is trying to combat that issue with a simple, clean aesthetic. The design is intended to give users information quickly, with minimal annoyance or distraction, so they can get back to their busy days (and all the other tabs they have open).

So far Tab has launched in beta in the UK, and hopes to go live in the US later this year. A mobile version could also be on its way in the future.

Last month, Tinder rolled out its new and highly anticipated premium service Tinder Plus, which had been teased in the press with few details for months. But rather than praising its new features, Tinder has been criticized for discrimination. The company charges $9.99 per month for users in their twenties, but once you hit the magical age of 30, the price jumps to $19.99.

Compare this to the price daters pay for a service like eHarmony ($18.95 per month with a 12-month commitment as of this posting), which touts its match-making capabilities, and Tinder seems like a rip-off. After all, the monthly fee for eHarmony includes a lot of filters to help find a more "quality" match - an extensive questionnaire, a detailed profile, and a “communications process” - all aimed at helping you find a lasting relationship. While people do find good matches on Tinder, it's a lot more hit-or-miss.

Still, people seem to prefer the game-like swiping of Tinder. And according to experts, they will probably pay for it – even if they are 30 or older.

A recent article in The Washington Post claimed that there is a war among dating services like Tinder and eHarmony, who are categorizing daters and their behaviors according to their ages. Tinder assumes that younger daters are their target market (after all, the service began with heavy promoton on college campuses before it was unleashed on the greater population). eHarmony however, is going after the more “seasoned” dater, who has had enough with all the hook-ups and wants a real relationship.

The online dating industry is said to be worth about $2.2 billion, with one in ten adults averaging more than an hour a day on a dating site or app. This rise in popularity isn’t a coincidence – it’s gone hand-in-hand with the amount of time we spend on our phones – a near-constant accessory. Tinder appeared at the right time and made online dating seem like a game, and more importantly, removed its stigma.

The popularity of Tinder however has had a cost among daters. There is an assumption that the app is only for hooking up, and that people using dating apps aren’t serious daters. At least, this perception has been what traditional dating sites like eHarmony have been pushing. It founder Neil Clarke Warren told The Washington Post: “They put all their money on one variable: looks. That fills me with quite a few little chills… I have presided over the funerals of more marriages than any psychologist, and it is miserable.”

eHarmony isn't the only one speaking about Tinder's flaws. “There are limits to the percentage of single people who will become active Tinder users and repeating ‘casual daters,'” Morgan Stanley analysts told their clients in February. “And in our view, Tinder is reaching those limits.”

So what does this mean? Is Tinder trying to embrace their young daters as the future of dating, or does eHarmony recognize they will never have a service that’s so addictive and easy to use?

Both services offer very different ways of meeting people, and attract different types of users. But it will be interesting to see who will pay for them going forward.

Popular online dating company Zoosk announced this week the launch of Dating Insights, a new feature on its site that allows members to see a holistic view of their dating activity and preferences culled from Zoosk’s original “behavior-based” matching technology.

Zoosk has long marketed the benefits of its technology, which tracks how users behave on its site and matches them accordingly. For instance, if Zoosk notices that you mostly reach out to bookish guys, then it will start matching you with more literary types. It works for both daters and Zoosk, because the more you use the service, the better (and more curated) your matches will be.

The new feature Dating Insights will offer members information about their own individual dating preferences, and will also aggregate information about members who have shown some interest. The idea is to help you understand your patterns and preferences so you can have a better overall dating experience.

Dating Insights is divided into three sections:

Who Likes You – this feature provides demographics of matches who have shown the most interest in the user, like those of a particular age, body type, education, ethnicity, religion, and whether or not they smoke.

Who You Like – Zoosk sums up your preferences, not based on your profile, but on your behavior. For instance, Zoosk will let you know that “you put more importance on a man’s level of education than most” or “The Lord of the Rings is the book liked most by the men you’re interested in.”

Your Dating Style – this shows how often (and how well) you are using the dating site, and provides tips on how to improve your experience.

It only makes sense that the online dating company would harness its own technology to offer daters insight into how they are dating, since they use it to match daters anyway. But they aren't the first.

OkCupid has used information gathered from its own users as well to shed light on how people date online. Co-founder Christian Rudder analyzed the extensive data the company collected to understand online dating trends and to provide its members with more services they want (for a fee) – such as the ability to rate dates and filtering out people who don’t physically match your ideal. eHarmony also provides insight to daters as part of its package of services, though it is more personalized. eHarmony offers a “profile book” once you have finished with its extensive questionnaire, where you can find out what your strengths and weaknesses are as a dater and in a relationship.

Helping daters understand the online dating experience and what they want isn’t new, but hopefully the more opportunities daters have to see this kind of information, the better their experiences will be.

For more about this service you can read our Zoosk review.