New Years

Are you looking to overhaul your dating life in 2016? Tired of the Tinder swipes that go nowhere, the endless text messages, the so-so dates that bore you to tears?

There’s no reason to feel powerless in your personal life. While the timing of meeting someone special isn’t under your control, making changes and switching things up is totally within your control. And sometimes, we all need a little push in a different direction to really make things happen.

So for the New Year, following are five dating goals to set – and habits to break to help you find someone special:

Express gratitude. Sometimes, we all need a reset button when it comes to attitude. Many of us get frustrated after a few bad dates, or being single for longer than we’d like, but we shouldn’t. There are so many things to appreciate right now, no matter what you might feel is lacking in your life. Start a gratitude journal if that works for you, but be mindful every day for 30 days of what you love in your life – what you are thankful for. This exercise really works. It can shift your attitude about your life from lacking to fulfilling, which definitely is more attractive to others when you are dating. Plus, you feel more fulfilled and hopeful yourself.

Go out more. Are you glued to your screen, swiping left and right? Maybe it’s time to meet people old-school style – by going out and introducing yourself. Many of us have forgotten how to make conversation, how to meet new people without the help of texting. Now’s the time to practice those skills – so say yes to parties, networking events, and going out with friends of friends.

Curb the texting and messaging. Instead of developing your new relationship over text, hoping it goes somewhere meaningful, try asking someone out IRL instead – sooner rather than later. Many of us get emotionally invested in online communication, developing a fantasy about who the other person is, only to be disappointed when you do finally meet in real life. So next time, ask him out sooner and drop the texting back and forth.

Own what you want. Do you want a long-term, serious relationship? Do you long for something more than a hook-up or a casual arrangement? Then own it. Let your dates know what you do and don’t want. Don’t make assumptions that everyone else is casual and so you must be, too. You have the right to want more. So don’t accept less than what you feel you want.

Commit to online dating. Yes, you should still go out more. But you should also expand your options. If you gave up on online dating, try again. Or pick a new dating app. Let a friend help you with your profile pictures. Do whatever works for you – but try some online dating, and really commit to it. Don’t let a few bad dates get you down. You never know when or how you’ll meet the right one.

Tired of swiping endlessly? If you’re looking for forward movement in your dating life, then the New Year is a good time to check your habits when it comes to online dating, and see where you can change things up a bit. There’s nothing like ringing in the New Year with a new attitude towards love!

Let’s start with perceptions. Most people think that dating apps are easy tools for hooking up, but not much else. While they are convenient, many people using dating apps are also looking for long-term love, just like you. Don’t make assumptions about why others on using dating apps – it’s important to keep an open mind, otherwise dating is nothing more than an exercise in handling frustration.

Following are some tips for the New Year on how to get a better handle on those dating apps:

Join something new – but do your research first! Most people join Tinder because that’s the app they know, without realizing there are a slew of dating apps out there catering to every type of dater. If you know you want something serious, try eHarmony or even Coffee Meets Bagel (for a little less pressure) instead. If you are looking to find dates with similar religious leanings, try JSwipe for Jewish singles or Collide, which labels itself the “Christian Tinder.” If you are looking for Star Wars fans? Try AYI (Are You Interested?) – which matches up people with similar interests.

Update your photos. Let’s face it – dating is visually-driven, so you have to put your best face forward. Instead of posing in a slew of selfies, have a friend take some more interesting photos – you playing guitar, doing a yoga pose or out hiking, for instance. Then visually you can show potential dates who you are – it is more effective than listing your hobbies in a description.

Get to the date. Instead of the endless messaging back and forth, it’s much more efficient to ask your matches out right away. You can’t tell if there will be chemistry until you meet in person, so why drag things out and get invested in an online fantasy? If you’re a woman, do your share of the asking. It’s 2015 – and he will be fine with it.

Be mindful and courteous. Just because someone is on a dating site doesn’t mean they are DTF. Don’t send messages suggesting otherwise. Ask someone out to a public place, not your apartment to “Netflix and chill.” Treat others respectfully, and they will return the favor.

Say “yes” more often, ladies. Some guys accept all matches in the hopes of bettering their chances to meet someone. Women are the opposite: the accept very few, sometimes to their detriment. Remember, keep an open mind. Just because he isn’t exactly what you want on paper – you might have chemistry together IRL. Give everyone a fair shot.

Happy dating in the New Year!

You think I'm insane, right?

There's no possible way there could be one day that's better for online dating than all the others. That's just crazy.

Except it isn't crazy. It's a real thing.

Online dating is there for you all year round, but there's one window of time each year that's more active than any other. Match.com and Plenty of Fish – two of the biggest dating companies in the game, so rest assured they know what they're talking about – say that the single most popular day for online dating is (drumroll please):

January 4.

And it gets even more impressive than that. They've even narrowed it down to an exact time period. (Are they sorcerers over there?) Roughly 5pm to 8pm are the magic hours in which the largest number of people sign up, log on, and start searching for online love. If you're still skeptical, Zoosk backs the estimated timeframe up. In 2014, its most trafficked time was the Sunday after New Year's.

Across the board, online dating sites see a huge boost in action between New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. And it's not hard to imagine why. There's an obvious seasonal sentimentality that takes over during that time, and its natural manifestation in the techno-obsessed 21^st century is online dating.

Although the exact reason is unclear, we can easily speculate. The new year is a time for a fresh start, for new goals, for making positive changes. For many people, those things mean a renewed focus on finding love – and what better way to kick your love life into gear than joining an online dating site?

On the other hand, the holiday season is a notoriously lonely time, and that could also explain why online dating sites see a serious boost in action. Hitting a low point could be the motivator needed to finally try out online dating after all.

Interestingly, it's not just online dating that feels the effects of the holidays. The Washington Post reports that researchers have also observed a post-holiday spike in searches for porn, and that “a 2012 study by Facebook’s data team found that people are far more likely to change their relationship status in January or February than they are at any other time of year.”

And lest you think this is merely an online phenomenon, a study also found that “the holiday season tends to see a jump in both condom sales and conceptions.”

So what are you waiting for? The time is NOW.

I have a love/hate relationship with New Year's resolutions.

In fact, you probably do too (who doesn't?).

On one hand, goal-setting is one of the most valuable things you can do. It's essential to set aside time to evaluate where you are, envision where you want to be, and strategize about how to move from one to the other.

On the other hand, everyone knows how difficult it is to actually stick to New Year's resolutions. You start out strong, you slip up once or twice, and then you abandon the whole thing. It can feel like you're setting yourself up for failure.

But hey – what is life without a few challenges? The potential for growth is too important to ignore, so make those resolutions and make 2015 the year you really kick their ass. Here are some ideas for your love life:

• Join a dating site. You may be here because you're already an online dater and are looking for tips, but you could be here because you still haven't taken the plunge and need some motivation. As Nike would say, just do it. This is the most popular time of the year for dating sites, so you'll be in good (and plentiful) company.
• Try something out of your comfort zone. That could be joining an online dating site, if you haven't already, or it could be trying something offline that pushes your boundaries. Join a gym if you've always been too intimidated to work out in front of others. Take a cooking class. Join a recreational sports team. You'll meet new people, add to your skill set, and boost your confidence.
• Be more open-minded. It's not just about challenging yourself where activities are concerned. It's also about challenging your preconceived notions about people. Say yes to someone you would normally say no to. Resist the urge to judge too quickly. Dump some of your dealbreakers. You may find something (or someone) you never expected.
• Get a handle on your goals. Do you want a fun fling? Are you looking for a partner who's marriage material? Are you just in the market for new friends? Be honest with yourself about what you want, and then be smart with your choices. They should be in alignment with your goals.
• Take action. You could wait around for something to happen to you, or you could make it happen. Which sounds like the better option? Be proactive in your search and don't think twice about making the first move. Being assertive is the best way to get what you want.

Here's to an incredible 2015!

The New Year is here, and this means a new chance at love for everyone. You might have made a few mistakes in 2014, but that doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around from this point forward. The beauty of life is that we are always growing and changing – and this means in our love lives, too.

Instead of doing the same old things in your social life, or recycling that old online dating profile, the New Year is a time to toss out the old and start fresh. That said, following are five dating resolutions you can make in the New Year:

Try new places. Dating doesn’t have to be a boring series of drinks and coffee dates. Instead of local watering holes, think of things you like to do on your own and incorporate them into your dating life – like hiking, art classes, sports, or finding treasures to fix up at flea markets. Even if you don’t get along with your date, you won’t feel it’s a waste of time. Plus, it puts you in a good mood – the right frame of mind for dating.

Expand your social circle. I know there are many introverted people out there who hate the idea of going to parties alone or joining an online dating site. But rest assured – most people hate going alone to parties and joining online dating sites. You aren’t alone. The point is, you never know where you’ll meet someone special, so it’s good to expand your opportunities instead of restricting them. Allowing more doors to open in your life is a good thing.

Develop a hobby. Most people are so tied up with work and obligations towards friends and family that they seldom take time just for themselves. But when you pursue something just because you enjoy it – and not because you make a living out of it – it creates more happiness in your life. Pursuing a hobby isn’t an extravagance – it’s a necessary part of life.

Be thankful. This might sound trite, but the act of acknowledging all you have in your life creates more positive energy and a happier you. Practice giving thanks for something every day – even if it’s something seemingly insignificant like a beautiful sunrise or an invigorating run. There is so much beauty in the small moments of life. Embrace them.

Say yes more often. Dating can be an emotional roller coaster, and many people need a break from time to time. There’s nothing wrong with this, but some people choose to stay stuck by admitting that “online dating doesn’t work for me,” or other excuses based on a few dates gone wrong. Instead of dwelling in what hasn’t worked, try to remain open to future possibilities. Say yes to a date you aren’t sure about, respond to more emails and messages. Taking more chances also brings more opportunities. Seize the moment.

Happy New Year!

New Year's Day is about more than nursing a ferocious hangover. For many people, it's also a symbol of new beginnings and a time to make resolutions for the year ahead. And what better way to start than with your love life?

The road to the right relationship isn't always smooth. Frustrations and disappointments are guaranteed, like potholes and traffic jams. But sometimes the road is clear, and if you drive for long enough, eventually you'll reach your destination.

And here's the best part: there are shortcuts. They may not always feel short, but perfect your approach to online dating and you'll give yourself a serious leg up in the race. Here are 4 online dating resolutions you can make this year, to make 2015 the year you win big:

1. Learn to market yourself. Unless you're in the very tip-top tier of the online dating population – and maybe not even then – online dating is, at some level, a competition. The dating pool is vast, which means you need to work hard to differentiate yourself from the other fish in that sea. I'm not saying you should treat online dating as a war, or that you should be calculated in every single thing you do, but you're probably missing opportunities if you haven't learned to market yourself at all. Optimize your profile. It should be one big advertisement for why you're awesome.
2. Make the first move. Yeah, approaching someone (even if it's online) is scary – so what? Everyone – man or woman – will benefit from learning to be the aggressor. If you lack the courage to initiate, you stand to miss out on the best people. When you see someone you're into, make that first move. Don't just hit a “like” button and hope for the best. Your odds of meeting someone incredible are drastically improved when you take charge of your destiny, instead of waiting on fate.
3. Don't blame online dating when things don't work. I wish I could tell you every date would be a grand slam, but the only guarantee of a grand slam is breakfast at Denny's. Bad dates will happen. But bad dates also happen when you meet in person, and either way, you can't let those experiences turn you off. Positive vibes attract positive vibes; negative vibes attract negative vibes (and more bad dates). Keep your optimism up and keep your goals in sight. And speaking of goals...
4. Make them. The best way to avoid disappointing dates – in 2015 and beyond – is to set smart goals and stick to them. If you know that a certain political affiliation is a dealbreaker for you, for example, set it as a goal and don't waver. Dating people who don't meet your most basic criteria is a recipe for disappointment. Just make sure your preferences and the goals you set are reasonable. The goal is to be smart, not to be superficial.

Have an online dating resolution that should be added to the list? Let us know in the comments!