Tips

Most of us look forward to summer: we can take off early from work, go on vacation, enjoy Sunday afternoon barbeques and the warm weather. It's a time to relax and enjoy life a bit more. Things slow down.

Unfortunately, it's also wedding season, which can make singles feel like lone wolves in a roomful of happy couples. Especially if these couples ask well-meaning but offensive questions such as, "why are you still single?"

Instead of dreading your next nuptial invite, take matters into your own hands. Don't feel obligated to look for that plus one, when you could have a much more interesting time meeting new people and seeing what happens when you're solo.

Some reasons you should embrace your single status this summer and live it up:

You can vacation anywhere you want. You don't need input from a significant other, you can book that trip you've always wanted to take, enjoying it with friends or going on your own. It's entirely up to you!

Parties, parties, parties. When you're single at a party, you are the one people want to approach. Whether your friend wants to introduce you to her neighbor or a couple of guys by the cooler are trying to catch your eye, you can be the object of interest and attention. Be sure to have some lined up for fourth of July weekend!

Summer flings. Why not have fun during the summer? It's a great time to fall in love, even if it's temporary.

Warm weather. Summer is a time when people congregate outside. They are less likely to be holed up in their apartments cranking up the heat. When the weather is nice, it's almost impossible not to be outside. Take advantage and go strolling in your local farmer's market, take your dog to a park, or spend the day at the beach or lake. There are plenty of opportunities to approach other singles while you're out and walking among the crowds.

Weddings. That's right. Instead of fielding questions from Aunt Sally about why you're still single, turn the tables on her. Tell her that you are enjoying the present, meeting new people, and don't want to settle for less than what you want! Then enjoy the bachelors...a guy always has a single friend or two.

Happy summer!

Most of us have suffered heartbreak. Getting past it can feel overwhelming, but it's necessary to moving on. But what happens when your heart has broken one too many times? When you just want to throw in the towel and opt to live your life on your own, unencumbered by relationships that only lead to disappointment?

Many of us feel that way at some point in our dating lives. Maybe you've had a string of bad first dates, and it's enough to make you want to quit. Or maybe you haven't been on a date since your last boyfriend who broke up with you a year ago, and instead have holed yourself up in your apartment, comfortably isolated. This way, you don't have to try only to be disappointed again.

While we're all different and we handle our dating lives differently, I firmly believe that in order to move on and have happier love lives, we have to keep taking risks. Even when we want to stop trying. The thing is, life is about relationships. Some are lasting and others aren't, but we can't move on to a happy, long-lasting romantic relationship if we don't even try.

Following are some reasons why you should get back out there:

It's courageous to take risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained as the saying goes. If you don't take a chance and put yourself back out there, you guarantee that your love life will remain as it is now. Being courageous counts.

You can practice your dating skills. Are you feeling a bit rusty? There's nothing wrong with that. The more you can practice, the better you'll get at spotting the good ones, flirting, and having fun.

You'll learn more about your preferences. If you have strict criteria when it comes to your dates, meeting more people will help you to differentiate what's really important to you. If you seem to keep falling for the same type of woman, dating a different type will help you discover other attributes to seek.

You'll move past your fear. To realize what we want in life, we have to move past our fears. Obviously, you won't be able to find a great relationship by hiding from opportunities to meet people. Accept invitations, introduce yourself to new people, and socialize. This is really what it means to "put yourself out there"...it means being vulnerable and opening yourself up to new relationships. The more you practice, the better you get at it.

You're worth it. And love is worth it. Once you find it, no matter how long it takes you, you'll be glad you did. So keep searching and trying. Otherwise, you'll never know who you could have met!

There are many politicians and celebrities that have been burned by social media mishaps. Most recently, Representative Anthony Weiner of New York unintentionally posted a private picture to his Twitter feed, making him the latest public person to suffer the consequences of these types of mistakes.

Unfortunately, in the digital age it's easy to make such mistakes. Luckily, most of us aren't in the public eye. But when we date, our Facebook status reports, Twitter feeds, and FourSquare locations are easily accessible for potential suitors. This makes us vulnerable to the same judgments public figures receive, no matter how few people we think our viewing our random musings. When you date, you are easily found through a Google search, so it's best to be prepared.

Following are some tips to keep you safely engaged with social media:

Filter your pictures. Obviously as we've learned from politicians and celebrities, it's never a good idea for personal pictures of yourself to be anywhere online. Same thing with any drunk or lewd photos. It's too easy for it to get into the wrong hands, or to accidentally post to your Twitter feed (ahem) instead of a DM. Don't put yourself in the position of having to defend yourself to someone you're meeting for the first time.

Recognize that your words live forever. Those comments you left on your ex's site or the status reports where you admitted to being a lush may come back to haunt you. While these words might have only been typed in the heat of the moment, they tend to hang around for new friends to see. Be careful in how much you share.

Don't friend your dates so quickly. I know that it's tempting to friend someone after a fabulous date, but use restraint. You never know how things will work out, and do you really want a virtual stranger digging through your Facebook page? Wait until you've dated a while and have had a chance to get to know each other. Don't use your dates as a way to get your friend count up, either.

Use privacy settings. If you want to restrict who reads your tweets or Facebook page, there are privacy settings you can use effectively. Please check into these if you would rather post more freely.

Don't mistake public for private messages. It's really easy when you're in a hurry to tweet something that you meant to send over DM instead, or to post to someone's wall instead of emailing her directly. Because of this, it's best to take an extra few seconds to double-check before you hit "send"...every time.

Although I lean towards optimism and open-mindedness when it comes to dating, not everyone is deserving of a second chance. After all, when you're online dating, you have no references so you have to trust your instincts. And sometimes our instincts are screaming, "not this one!" but we don't pay attention. It's good to remember to be cautious as well as open to meeting new people.

If you're having trouble listening to your gut, following are some tips to tell if a man isn't a good candidate for a second date:

He drinks too much. There's nothing wrong with enjoying some cocktails or a glass of wine together. But if he finishes four shots of whisky before you've even ordered dinner, there's cause to worry, especially if he offers to give you a ride later on. Feel free to walk away and take a cab home.

He talks too much. Confidence is attractive, but when a man starts to brag or talk incessantly about himself without asking you questions, likely he isn't interested in getting to know you. He's much too interested in impressing than connecting, which means he isn't good relationship material.

He's rude. I had a friend who was set up on a blind date, and when she arrived, her date said rather pointedly, "I thought you'd be prettier in person." If he's insulting to you, the waiter or bartender at a bar or restaurant, or the valet, forget it. He should at least be cordial to everyone he encounters.

He can't keep eye contact. If he can't keep his focus on you when you're talking and instead looks around at every other woman in the room, this is an indication that he wouldn't be focused on you in a relationship. This kind of man isn't worth the wonder or the heartache.

His exes are all "psychos." If a man starts bashing his exes and calling women in general crazy, watch out. You could be next on his list. When I went out with a man who persisted in telling tales of how awful his exes were, it was a complete turn-off. Plus, it showed me his own lack of responsibility and inability to see things from another perspective when it comes to being in a relationship.

He gets sexual early and without invitation. If a man is putting his hand on your leg, touching you inappropriately, or making lewd comments on a first date in order to be flirtatious, this is a sign that he isn't respecting you. He wants his needs met, not yours. Be firm in establishing boundaries with him.

Most importantly, listen to your gut when it comes to meeting a man on a first date. It's usually correct.

As summer begins, there are so many opportunities for dating. This is the best time of year to get creative on first dates without breaking the bank. No more boring coffee shops or restaurants...it's time to get outside and really interact with each other. Summer means good weather and a lot of activities that you can do, which also helps conversation flow more easily.

Following are some fun date ideas to consider:

Fly a kite. Go old-school and check out your local markets for some colorful options. In big cities, Chinatown usually has some pretty amazing kites in the shapes of animals, but you can also make your own. Head down to a local park and enjoy getting your date and your kite off the ground.

Get sporty. Summer is no time to worry about dressing up. The best kind of first date is where you can both experience something together. Grab your bikes and go for a ride in the park, or take a hike in a nearby canyon. If you're motivated, bring a picnic to enjoy together as well.

Enjoy the water. There's nothing like swimming in a pool, lake or ocean on a hot summer day. Depending on your local options, take your date for a swim followed by a picnic of wine and cheese.

Go for a drive. The days are longer and nights are warmer, so take your date on a drive through the countryside or along the coast. Take in the scenery and conversation. Watch the sunset sharing a bottle of wine. It doesn't get much better than that.

Visit a farmer's market. Wander around aisles of fresh fruits and vegetables with your date, taking in the morning sun. Once you've done your shopping, take your newly purchased produce and enjoy a picnic together at a nearby park.

Enjoy an outdoor concert or movie. Most cities have some type of community activity on the weekend, whether it's a concert in a park or an outdoor movie screening. Check your local listings, grab a couple of beach chairs and some snacks and enjoy the entertainment.

Some people claim chivalry is dead, but I think it gives you an advantage in the world of dating. Many men and women have neglected manners in their dating experience, mostly because it's easier to meet and run if you don't feel an instant spark. Some have even forgotten how to date with any thoughtfulness.

When I write about manners, I'm not talking about some old-fashioned sense of dating or "courting," I'm talking about the basics. Following are some tips to shine on all of your dates, making you an irresistible catch.

Ask him/her out on a date. Instead of texting and inviting the object of your affection to "hang out" so you don't risk rejection, make a bold move and ask her out on a real date. This way, there is no ambiguity when it comes to your budding relationship either.

Plan! This is an easy one: everyone likes the effort someone puts in to plan a date, male or female. Don't just agree to meet "later on this week" or "grab a drink after work." Let her know you're interested by stating the place, date and time to meet. Also, it helps to describe why you're choosing that particular place...whether it's to try a new spot or because you think she might like it. This scores a lot of points.

Cultivate some mystery. Instead of going into a date with a laundry list of questions or a description of what you're looking for in the perfect partner, create some mystery. Hold back. This isn't about deceiving your date, it's about not treating him or her to every detail of your life. In the day of Twitter, Facebook, and reality television, it's nice to get to know someone slowly but surely.

Remember the little things. Whether it's opening a door for a woman or keeping step with her instead of walking in front, a little consideration goes a long way. Also, try not to interrupt when your date is talking. It's the same as answering a cell phone call in the middle of a date.

Take your time. Instead of racing to the finish line because you want to know right now whether or not your date is right for you, take things one step at a time. Go on a second date, then a third. Let conversation flow without pressuring questions that may turn a date off. Don't jump to categorize your relationship on Facebook or otherwise. Take things slowly but surely, and you'll be much more aware of when it's right for you.