First Date Red Flags: How to Know if He Isn’t for You

Although I lean towards optimism and open-mindedness when it comes to dating, not everyone is deserving of a second chance. After all, when you're online dating, you have no references so you have to trust your instincts. And sometimes our instincts are screaming, "not this one!" but we don't pay attention. It's good to remember to be cautious as well as open to meeting new people.

If you're having trouble listening to your gut, following are some tips to tell if a man isn't a good candidate for a second date:

He drinks too much. There's nothing wrong with enjoying some cocktails or a glass of wine together. But if he finishes four shots of whisky before you've even ordered dinner, there's cause to worry, especially if he offers to give you a ride later on. Feel free to walk away and take a cab home.

He talks too much. Confidence is attractive, but when a man starts to brag or talk incessantly about himself without asking you questions, likely he isn't interested in getting to know you. He's much too interested in impressing than connecting, which means he isn't good relationship material.

He's rude. I had a friend who was set up on a blind date, and when she arrived, her date said rather pointedly, "I thought you'd be prettier in person." If he's insulting to you, the waiter or bartender at a bar or restaurant, or the valet, forget it. He should at least be cordial to everyone he encounters.

He can't keep eye contact. If he can't keep his focus on you when you're talking and instead looks around at every other woman in the room, this is an indication that he wouldn't be focused on you in a relationship. This kind of man isn't worth the wonder or the heartache.

His exes are all "psychos." If a man starts bashing his exes and calling women in general crazy, watch out. You could be next on his list. When I went out with a man who persisted in telling tales of how awful his exes were, it was a complete turn-off. Plus, it showed me his own lack of responsibility and inability to see things from another perspective when it comes to being in a relationship.

He gets sexual early and without invitation. If a man is putting his hand on your leg, touching you inappropriately, or making lewd comments on a first date in order to be flirtatious, this is a sign that he isn't respecting you. He wants his needs met, not yours. Be firm in establishing boundaries with him.

Most importantly, listen to your gut when it comes to meeting a man on a first date. It's usually correct.