General News

What went wrong?

That's the question asked by a new dating app and Web site, both appropriately named WotWentWrong. According to WotWentWrong.com, the service is a socially acceptable way to:

• Explore your personal dating and relationship do's and don'ts.

• Learn from past experiences.

• Develop fresh insights and behaviors to ensure your future relationship goals.

Through WotWentWrong, daters can give each other feedback in an open and honest way, "while respecting each other's feelings and softening the blow."

It sounds like a tall order, so how do they do it?

The Web site sends the dumped party's request for feedback via email or text message using preset categories to determine what went wrong. The dumpee can chose from responses like "You text instead of calling" or "You don't pay for dinner when we go out," and "dumpers" who are interested in giving a little more personalized feedback can improvise in a separate space in the feedback form.

To keep things balanced, every feedback form includes a space in which the dumper can describe their ex-date's positive qualities, like "You are insightful" or "You are enthusiastic." The dumper can then give constructive advice about how to, as WotWentWrong's press release puts it, have better "dating Zen." Dumpers are given incentive to respond via a promise of survey results to questions about how attractive the dumpee found the dumper in various categories like kissing and conversation.

"In creating WotWentWrong," writes founder Melnik in the company's blog, "I wanted to develop an informative and constructive, yet upbeat way to address a problem that affects people universally." "People who thought the first date was awesome or saw no signs anything was wrong with the relationship can end up blaming themselves," adds the WotWentWrong press release. "It can cause lasting damage to someone's self-esteem and future relationships. Closure can be hard to find on your own."

WotWentWrong's goal is three-fold: "Find Out. Learn. Move On." Find out what went wrong. Learn about why it happened and what can be done to prevent it in the future. Move on - stronger, wiser, and better prepared.

The break-up app is free for now, though eventually Melnik plans to sell products that are targeted to each user's unique relationship history. Try it out and tell us about your experience!

Does online dating actually lead to real-life relationship success?

It's a question that's been on everyone's mind since...well...since online dating began, and now more than ever scientists are taking a good hard look at the pros and cons of looking for love online.

Enter Eli Finkel, a social psychologist at Northwestern University who is one of five authors on a new study from the February issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest called "Online Dating: A Critical Analysis from the Perspective of Psychological Science." Finkel recently participated in a Q & A about the science behind online dating to share what he's learned about the intersection between love, technology, and psychology. Here are a few things he's learned from his research:

• If you and your better half filled out online dating questionnaires, is it possible that you might not even be matched on an online dating site? Finkel says "yes" - it's not only possible, it's likely! Given the way that matching algorithms on dating sites function, they're not actually doing a much better job of pairing people than chance is. The odds are greater that your perfect partner is in the selection of people that an algorithm doesn't match you with than in the selection of people that it does.

• Does corresponding with someone online start a relationship out right? Or do you think online communication can hurt the beginning of a relationship? Finkel believes online communication is a double-edged sword. One of his co-authors found that a small amount of online communication prior to a face-to-face meeting increases attraction during the initial meetup, particularly for daters who are shy or anxious. On the other hand, too much computer-mediated communication can undermine the benefits, so it's important to keep it to a reasonable amount.

• When people end up together after online dating, can people argue that it's all just a coincidence or luck of the draw, or does the initial profile information make a difference? Finkel believes that algorithms may be creating a placebo effect for online daters. Although there is little evidence that algorithms are scientifically effective, people who believe that they are effective are likely to experience greater attraction to a match selected by an algorithm than to a person selected at random.

• While you say that these algorithms can't predict long-term success, can they predict anything at all? Finkel has little faith in the power of sites that rely on algorithms to match singles. "I wouldn't be surprised if they can predict initial interaction style (e.g., who talks more)," he responded to an interview question, "and, to a lesser extent, initial attraction, but I wouldn't put a great deal of stock in such effects" because they can't "predict very much about the compatibility between two people."

Algorithms have been under fire lately, from Finkel and others who believe they are a gimmick to attract members but not a serious tool for finding love. Perhaps we're witnessing the beginning of the end for algorithm-based dating sites? Is a new model for online dating on the horizon?

Ok, so Valentine's Day is a little bit silly. Everyone who complains that being in love should mean expressing that love every day, not just on one Hallmark-saturated day a year, is right - but it's still fun to see what couples were up to on the most consciously loved-up day of 2012.

According to Google, gifts and mouth-watering goodies were the main things on lovers' minds this year. Searches for keywords like "Valentine's Day dinner," "Valentine's Day recipes," "romantic dinner," and "romantic recipes" start increasing at the beginning of February and hit their peak on the 14th. But some of us aren't wizards in the kitchen, and there's hope for us too - searches for "Valentine's Day reservations" typically peak on February 9th and remain high through the holiday.

Zagat also checked in with lovers looking for a romantic culinary experience on Valentine's Day and found that 44% planned to eat out while only 35% had the guts to play chef and celebrate at home with their sweeties. V-day dinner isn't a cheap prospect for those 44%: "on average, the diners surveyed plan[ned] to spend $147 on their romantic meal. Compare that with $43.46, which is the average cost of a meal in New York according to our 2012 New York City Restaurants Survey, adding up to $86.92 per couple." And only 11% said they would split the check!

If that sounds like an expensive proposition, don't forget about the presents. When it comes to gifts, women may be the better givers. Google found that the ladies search for perfect Valentine's Day presents earlier and more often than men do - about 160% more, to be exact, since January. Some gifts will always be classics: searches for "jewelry gifts" have grown 10% since last Valentine's Day, while searches for "flower delivery" have increased 20% and searches for my personal favorite, "couples massage," have jumped almost 50% over the last year.

According to NRF's 2012 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions survey, conducted by BIGinsight, the average person was expected to shell out $126.03 for a Valentine's day present, up 8.5% from 2011 and the highest in the survey's 10-year history. Broken down, total spending on traditional items was expected to be:

• Jewelry: $4.1 billion
• Evening out: $3.5 billion
• Flowers: $1.8 billion
• Candy: $1.5 billion
• Clothing: $1.4 billion
• Gift cards: $1.1 billion

For couples who want to think outside of the box (of chocolates), gift giving can get a little more creative. Searches for "Valentine's scavenger hunt" and "personalized Valentine's Day gifts" were both up around 20% on Google from last year, and searches for "homemade Valentine's gift" rose over 60%! Nothing says "I love you" quite like a personalized present that really speaks to who your partner is and who you are as a couple.

Whoever said "love don't cost a thing" clearly didn't know what they were talking about.

Right on the heels of Valentine's Day, eHarmony will be having a free communication weekend which will run from Friday February 17th to Monday February 20th. This promotion is available to all members in the United States and no credit card is required.

With the increased popularity of online dating during this romantic week and eHarmony's reputation of creating relationships that are long-term and which often lead to marriage, you can expect this service to be bustling with new members eager to meet their matches. All you need to do is spend some time and create your profile. Once completed, you will receive your first matches that you then can start to communicate with. Features not included during free communication events are photos, Secure Call or Skip to Email.

By our estimation, this will be eHarmony's 37th free communication event with the last one happening during the New Year celebration (see Story).

To find out more about this popular dating service designed to find you a long-term relationship, you can read our review of eHarmony.

We do not get many statistics on dating in Australia. On this page at The Age I notice an interesting fact buried in the article that I think is worth mentioning. A survey conducted in 2010 of 2000 random Australians by Nielsen showed that 25 percent of them had tried online dating with 16 percent of them (320 of the 2000) meeting someone with whom they formed a long-term relationship with.

So with a population of roughly 22.3 million people in Australia, there have been about 5.5 million people who have tried online dating. Of those, 3.6 million have found love.

To find our complete list of dating sites for Australian singles you can check out our Australian Dating Sites category.

Single men and women make up a third of the U.S. adult population, and now Match.com has done its second comprehensive study on how that third is living and thinking in 2012. Over 5,000 unattached Americans participated in the study and sounded off about politics, sex, love, and everything in between. Here's what they had to say:

Is PDA a-ok? Opinion is still divided. Men are more likely to engage in public displays of affection (41%), while women are a little more shy about showing off (31%).

Is the bad economy creating bad love lives? The economy currently ranks as the #1 source of stress for singles, but 60% say that it's had no effect on their dating habits and more than 40% say they would date someone who was unemployed if they were already interested in that person.

Are men just as sick of singlehood as women are? It seems like it...31% of men and 33% of women find loneliness to be "somewhat stressful" or "very stressful." Believe it or not, men are actually more likely to report that loneliness is a difficult side effect of being single (27% of men as compared to 22% of women).

Which political party has a better sex life? The war between liberals and conservatives rages on! Conservative Republicans are 40% more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives than people with other political affiliations, but they also report having the lowest amount of sexual activity in the last 12 months.

Is love at first sight a fantasy or a fact? Women may not be the romantics we think they are. By age 30, 51% of women say they believe in love at first sight and have experienced it, while 58% of men say they have gone ga-ga for a girl at first glance.

Who is more afraid of cohabitation? Contrary to popular belief, women are less likely to expect to move in with a man before they'd been dating for a year. 46% of men say they would move in with a new love they'd been dating for less than a year, but only 26% of women say the same thing.

Does getting old mean getting desperate? Definitely not. Singles over 60 are less likely to settle for a partnership that doesn't have both sex and romance than singles in any other age bracket.

What do singles really want? Single Americans are looking for more than a superficial level of compatibility. Only 11% say they "must have" a partner from the same ethnic background or with similar religious beliefs. Only 23% say marriage is a must-have, and only 26% say their partner must want children. Instead, singles these days are focused on deeper qualities and personal fulfillment - 93% say that what matters most is finding someone they can trust and confide in.

For more results from the singles survey, check out the Match blog here and keep an eye out for break downs of the findings from the likes of Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. Laura Berman.

To find out more about this dating service who released the survey you can read our review of Match.com.