General News

Lt. Peter Burks was a troop leader in the 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment. He was also the recipient of the Bronze Star, a medal awarded for acts of merit. More recently, Peter appeared as the poster boy for an online dating site, with the headline "Military Men Searching For Love."

That wouldn't be making headlines, were it not for the fact that Peter passed away on November 14, 2007, when a bomb blew up his vehicle as he was returning to base after a mission in Baghdad.

In December, a friend of Peter Burks was surfing PlentyOfFish.com when he spotted the ad. He clicked on it and was directed to True.com, then reported the incident to Burks' parents. His parents are now suing both sites for using their son's photo without their permission, for benefiting financially from its use, and for misleading the public.

His father, Alan Burks, said the photo was taken just days before his son was killed, at only 26 years old, in late 2007. It now appears on the website of the Burks family's Unsung Hero Fund, which celebrates the life of their son by providing supplies to troops in war zones. "I felt horrified, disgusted. It upset me," said Alan of the photo. The assumption that Peter was using online dating sites to meet women "couldn't be more wrong," Alan continued, as Peter was happily engaged at the time of his death.

Plenty Of Fish has responded to the scandal through spokesman Paul Bloudoff, who claims that the company had no advertisements online in the U.S. in December. Hundreds of thousands of third parties advertise via his company's site every month, he noted, making it impossible for Plenty Of Fish to control the ads or be aware of their content. The ad has now been blocked from the company's network, though Bloudoff believes the suit should not have been filed. "We dealt with this matter a month ago," he said in an email.

True.com president Ruben Buell has shown a little more sympathy for the Burks. "I certainly feel for his family," he said, adding that he hasn't seen the lawsuit but "will be researching this diligently."

The suit was filed last month in state district court in Dallas, TX, seeking a jury trial for compensatory and punitive damages. Alan Burks plans to donate any money awarded in the suit to military charities. "For me, this is making sure that the honor and legacy of Peter is protected," he said.

Once upon a time, matches were made through friends and family, through classes and workshops, through the workplace and religious institutions. Now, thanks to the meteoric rise of online dating, a virtual "flirt" or a message sent via email are equally likely to bring couples together.

Most people, from relationship experts to the daters themselves, are raving about online dating, but a new review written by a team of psychologists suggests that dating websites may actually be lowering singles' chances of building a successful relationships by distorting their attitudes and expectations.

"Specific things the online dating industry does [do] undermine some of its greatness," the lead author of the new review, Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., said to CNN. He believes that the major potential pitfall of online dating is the very thing that online dating websites are constructed around: profiles. Although profiles seem to be a detailed look at who a person is and what they're looking for, Finkel's team of researchers say that the information found in profiles is rarely useful in determining compatibility. Studies have shown that most singles don't actually know what they want in a partner, meaning that what they look for in a date online often isn't what creates a real, lasting connection.

The "shopping" mentality that online dating sites create may also be reducing the chance of finding love online. Singles may become too picky and judgmental, passing on partners that could be perfect for them because someone new is just a click away. Instead of evaluating potential dates spontaneously, online daters are often overly-critical and sabotage potential matches by developing unreasonable expectations based on profiles and messages.

And then there's the algorithms, which claim to take the guesswork out of mating by using psychology and mathematical formulas to pair up potential dates. The review team found no studies that proved the effectiveness of algorithms, and other research has found that it's "extremely difficult to predict the likelihood that a relationship will succeed before two people meet." Instead of bringing couples together, algorithms may be creating a "destiny mindset" that places the focus on initial compatibility rather than on factors that really make up the foundation for a long-term relationship.

Finkel advises finding a happy middle ground: use online dating sites to identify potential matches but move the budding relationship offline as quickly as possible, and don't assume that more time spent browsing profiles translates to a greater likelihood of finding The One. "There's probably never going to be a substitute for getting two minutes from another person across a cup of coffee," he says.

I had a number of reports that POF.com was down today around 8:30 am for roughly one hour. Some users mentioned that they had trouble logging in (to both the site and the mobile app) while others were not even able to view the website in an internet browser. I wasn't able to confirm personally the problem since the dating site was up when I tried it this afternoon but I did receive enough messages that made it clear POF was experiencing some technical difficulties. It is also unclear if it was a server issue, internet connection timeouts, or a DNS problem.

If you want more information on what makes this dating site such a popular service then please check out our review of POF.com.

Are you a Republican or Democrat? Turns out, how you vote in the upcoming election might also reveal your tendencies in regard to love and sex.

According to a comprehensive study released by Match.com of 5,000 singles surveyed across the U.S., Republican and Democratic singles seek dramatically different traits in a partner. Democrats are more likely to seek out mates with a sense of humor, similar lifestyle, someone they consider to be "equal" and have a sense of independence. Republicans put up a few more restrictions when it comes to choosing a partner - they prefer mates who have the same background and politics as they do. They also prefer mates who are interested in marriage.

But the differences between parties aren't just limited to the search for a mate. Turns out, things are different in the bedroom, too. Conservative Republicans are significantly more likely to be very satisfied with their sex lives (40%), but they also had the least amount of sex (at least in the last 12 months before the survey was taken).

Fidelity is also a political hot button in the survey. 80% of women and only 62% of men say that sexual fidelity in a relationship is a "must have," but 91% of women and 87% of men believe there are no acceptable excuses for infidelity by a political candidate. If this sounds a bit hypocritical, maybe we've had one too many sex scandals in politics over the past fifteen years.

The study was conducted by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship therapist, Dr. Justin R. Garcia, an evolutionary biologist with The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and the Institute for Evolutionary Studies (EvoS) at Binghamton University.

Some other interesting findings:

• The bad economy isn't affecting the love lives of singles. While the economy is the number one source of stress in singles' lives (and I assume among most couples, too), 60% surveyed say it hasn't changed their dating habits. Over 40% said they would date someone who was unemployed if they were already interested in him/her.

• Singles prefer fulfilling relationships over following tradition. Only 11% of singles said they "must have" a partner from the same ethnic or religious background or who could give them children. The majority of singles prefer someone who they feel they can trust or confide in.

For more information on the dating service which released this study, please check out our Match.com review.

Spark Networks fourth quarter and full year end results were released on March 1st. For the last quarter revenue was $12.9 million and for the entire 2011 year it was $48.5 million. The net loss for the reported quarter was $1.1 million which gave the year 2011 a total net loss of $1.6 million. As a whole revenue was up 19 percent when compared to 2010 and up 27 percent when quarter 4 in 2011 is compared to quarter 4 in 2010. This is in large part thanks to the Other Affinity Networks which saw revenue increase by 78 percent throughout the year.

Subscribers also grew 21 percent for the year and 32 percent in quarter 4 (when compared to the same quarter in 2010). Average paying subscribers for the entire company for quarter 4 2011 was 212,850. For the year the number of average paying subscriber was 196,850.

Spark Networks 2 big sites are JDate (which is part of the Jewish Networks) and Christian Mingle (which is part of the Other Affinity Networks). Subscriber and revenue remand flat for the Jewish Networks. Revenue for quarter 4 was $6.9 million with 87,101 subscribers. The Other Affinity Networks saw revenue of $5.9 million and 123,139 average paying subscribers for quarter 4, 2011. When compared to last year's quarter revenue increased by 114 percent and subscribers increased by 89 percent.

For the full 2011 Q4 release visit the Spark Networks News Room.

Related Story: Spark Networks Third Quarter 2011 Financials

If you're online dating, you can search through a seemingly endless number of profiles looking for something that catches your eye. But if someone posts a questionable picture or says something in her profile that doesn't click with what you want, are you really approaching online dating with an open mind? Or are you too reliant on what those profiles say, and more importantly, what you think you want?

Sometimes we leave little room for chemistry in our dating lives, which is why it becomes harder and harder to find a connection the more we date. According to a recent study commissioned by the Association for Psychological Science and appearing in the February issue of the Journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest, online dating provides a lot of access to meeting new people, but most daters may not be aware of what will make them click with someone else.

The study also states that the sheer abundance of online daters means they tend to be more picky and more judgmental - thinking there's a "better" profile than whatever they happen to be viewing at the moment. The ease with which online daters can sift through profiles, chasing after the better photo or better career success leads to singles "objectifying" potential partners according to the study. And even worse: when daters meet face-to-face, their biases from judging others' profiles can lead to awkward interactions - even more than had they just met on the street.

"Online dating creates a shopping mentality, and that is probably not a particularly good way to go about choosing a mate," says Harry Reis, Ph.D., one of the review's authors and a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester Medical Center, in New York.

The researchers also caution against too much email and online communication before actually meeting. When there is a lot of virtual communication, there can be a lot of build-up and expectation, which can lead to disappointment if there ends up being no connection. It's better to agree to meet sooner rather than later, without too much build-up. It's a more organic process when you're looking for intangibles like chemistry and attraction.

The bottom line? Don't spend so many hours poring over profiles and comparing people. Instead, invite them to meet face-to-face. See if you can laugh and have a good time together. See if there's enough of a spark to meet again, and again. See how you feel around the person, rather than what you think you're looking for in a partner.