Tips

Social media has brought us together and engaged people online more than anything else. Most of us have a Facebook page, so it's only natural that it's become part of the dating experience as well.

Unfortunately, this isn't always a good thing. Especially when you start to date someone new. Do you really want to share your personal information and status history with a virtual stranger? And what happens once you break up; do you de-friend immediately, or do you keep her around so you can check up on who she's dating? It can get complicated.

Following are some tips for those questions you may have when it comes to Facebook and dating:

Don't use Facebook to exchange contact information. While it's easy and convenient to friend someone over Facebook rather than ask for a number, it's not a smart move when you first meet someone. Dating involves getting to know a person; it's a courting process. When you have instant access to someone's personal information (and she has yours), there's no mystery and plenty of room for judgment. What about those political musings you posted, or the compromising picture you took in Vegas? Instead of opening your life up so easily, try something old-fashioned and exchange numbers. If you're still hesitant about asking for a number, then message her. Don't friend her. Avoid complications.

Don't friend people you are dating (if you're not exclusive). I know it's tempting, even standard practice to do this. You've been on a few dates and really are enjoying each other's company. Things seem to be progressing nicely. But before you send the friend request, stop and consider. Would you be fine if this person de-friended you should the relationship go south; or worse, if she posted hurtful comments on your wall? Do you want him to know your friends and all of your personal musings? Do you want her to see the other friends you might be dating, with posts like, "thanks for last night?" Keep your dating life and Facebook separate, unless you're ready to take that next step.

Don't use it as a relationship barometer. I've said this before, but many people (women especially) use Facebook to test the progress of a relationship. Once friends, make a point to discuss any relationship postings you want to do in advance. If you're not on the same page (you've declared that you're in a relationship and he's still single), then this can be cause for needless worry. Facebook status reports shouldn't be a replacement for those difficult conversations about where you are in a relationship. Remember to talk it out.

Remember, Facebook is a social media tool, so don't use it to navigate your dating life. Conversation is always best.

For more information on using this social network as a dating tool you can read our Facebook review.

I'm a fan of the coffee shop date when meeting someone for the first time, but this can get old quickly. Above all, you want to feel relaxed, comfortable, and open to conversation no matter where you choose, but it's important to mix it up. Some places are better than others when it comes to choosing the location for your first date.

Following are some tips to keep in mind for first date locations:

Make sure it's affordable. The first date is an exercise in getting to know each other. Even if you feel chemistry after talking on the phone or long chat sessions, if you haven't met in person yet things could go either way. Don't be tempted to impress with an expensive dinner. Leave that for later dates.

Think about the noise. While trendy bars are great for meeting with friends, they might work against you on a date if you find yourself constantly having to shout above the noise. Bottom line, go for a drink if you'd like, but make sure it's space where you can talk.

Don't lose your date. Pick a place that isn't your favorite hole-in-the-wall with an entrance in a dark alley. Make sure your date can find it easily, and that it's not an hour drive for him and walking distance for you. Compromise is best: meet halfway, in a well-marked location. Save the mystery for later.

Plan for p*censored*ive time if it's an active date. I'm a big fan of first dates involving an activity like hiking or playing tennis. This breaks the ice, and gives you something enjoyable to do which lightens the mood. However, please remember to make time after to sit and talk, even if it's over coffee.

Dress for success. I live in L.A., but the flip flops and shorts first date is a real turn-off for most unless you're going to the beach. On the other hand, don't wear a tight miniskirt and stiletto heels either, in case your date wants to go for a walk or you end up standing at a bar. Meet in the middle. Be comfortable, yet sexy - then you're prepared no matter where you are.

When in doubt, choose comfort. I tend to pick places where I've been, so I know the parking situation, when it gets crowded, and how much it will cost by the end of the night. It's good to have some "knowns" when it comes to first dates, since it's easy to feel nervous about so many other things.

Have fun!

Do you find yourself going on a lot of first dates, but rarely getting to date number two? Are you bored with the women you're meeting, or with the process in general? While not everyone is a good fit or fun to be with, there are a few things you can do to improve your game.

The key is spontaneity. Women are attracted to men they find interesting and unpredictable. Most of the time however, people are more reserved when they first meet someone for a date. Instead of showing your true selves and capabilities, you worry about how you come across and what she thinks. This often interferes with any spontaneous activity, which means your dates may not see the creative, quirky and perhaps even romantic person you truly are. Why not show it off a bit?

Many daters today are also more comfortable with casual dating, which means texting or calling at the last minute to "hang out" instead of planning. It's a good way to ensure your feelings will be protected, because you aren't putting yourself out there in any way. This is hardly inspiring for a romantic connection to be made.

Instead of holding back in your dating life and trying to be nonchalant about everyone you meet, consider inserting some intrigue and excitement into your search for love. This will make you stand out from all the other guys. Following are some tips for being spontaneous (although please deviate from this list if you're so inspired---that's the point)!

Keep it a surprise. Ask her to meet at a restaurant or coffee shop, but when you arrive take her to the ice rink across the street. Or tell her to bring walking shoes when you meet in front of a local bar, and take her to an art walk instead. Changing plans or being mysterious will spark her interest and curiosity, and wonder what you might do next.

Stay away from the typical questions. Instead of asking her about work, her family, where she went to school, or anything else that's predictable, focus on other questions. There's no need to get into politics or the exes though! Ask her about a p*censored*ion or hobby, or where she'd like to travel in the next year, or what kind of show she'd like to see on TV if she could create one. Keep it different.

Bring her something unique. I don't mean expensive flowers, jewelry, chocolates or anything that tries to buy her affection. I'm not talking about gifts, but rather gestures to show her you're different from the other guys. Make her a card, or bring her a sample of your favorite dessert from the bakery down the street, or present her with a candle for future romantic dinners together. These small, thoughtful, and unexpected gestures go a long way.

Try it on your next date and see what happens...

While many singles look primarily to online dating for meeting new people, what about the intriguing men or women you see in the supermarket, coffee shop, or Laundromat? Have you shied away from approaching someone new because you were afraid of rejection, that you might look silly, or that you wouldn't be able to hold a conversation long enough to ask her out?

If so, rest *censored*ured you're not alone. Many people don't approach because they are afraid or nervous. However, I like the idea of being open to possibility when it comes to dating. That means taking advantage of every opportunity presented. If you're attracted to someone standing in line for a smoothie (if he or she doesn't have a ring on the finger), start talking! But keep in mind, respect and consideration are most important when approaching a stranger - you don't want to scare her off!

Following are some tips to help you master the art of the approach:

*censored*ess mutual interest. Try to make eye contact first and smile. If he or she smiles back, then it's time to think about your next step. If she avoids you, then keep your distance. You don't want to put pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable.

Talk to him/her. After eye contact is made, the next step is the approach. Be relaxed. If you don't know how to begin, keep it simple (no cliché pick-up lines). Recommend a coffee drink to her if you're at the coffee shop. If you're witty, use humor.

Pay attention to her response. If she seems open and engaged, then continue your conversation. If she shuts down by looking at her phone, talking to her friend, or making excuses to stop talking to you, take the hint. There's no need to pursue if there's no mutual interest. Move on.

Should you ask for the number? I don't recommend asking her out right on the spot. This puts a lot of pressure on someone you just met. However, providing a business card with your number so she can take the lead is an option. If you're feeling mutual attraction and she seems engaged, go ahead and ask for her number. It's important to pay attention to social cues.

Don't stalk. If you're too nervous to talk to her while she's in line in front of you, don't try to make up for it by following her out the door and to her next stop. Let bygones be bygones, and chalk it up to doing better the next time you have an opportunity.

No doubt about it: dating can be expensive. You may go out several times a week, which can max out your credit card pretty quickly if you dine or grab drinks together. On the other hand, coffee-only dates it can become old, fast. So what can you do in this economy to have a good time, get to know more people, and not spend a fortune?

Following are a few creative tips to get you motivated for your next date:

Check your local paper for low-cost events. Most communities have free or inexpensive outdoor concerts in the summer, art exhibitions/ walks, or outdoor movie screenings. Take advantage of what's available and enjoy it with a date. If you're feeling inspired take along a bottle of wine or some picnic foods like cheese and fruit to enjoy while you're watching.

Go outside. The summer weather lasts through September in most places, so take advantage of outdoor activities. Suggest taking your dogs for a walk in the park together. Go on a bike ride or hike depending on where you live. If you both are into surfing or skating, make a date to do that. It's easier to get to know someone when you're doing something together; it breaks the ice.

BYOB. Go to a restaurant that allows you to bring your own wine. Restaurants generally mark up the prices for their own bottles, so it saves you in the long run even if you have to pay a corkage fee. Plus, it shows off your unique taste in vino.

Try restaurants off the beaten path. Instead of going for an expensive dinner at a trendy restaurant that you can't really afford to impress a date, try something different and exotic. Restaurants serving Persian, Ethiopian, or Indian cuisine generally offer better prices for meat and fish dishes than your typical expensive Italian or American fare. Plus, it makes for a more interesting date - if either of you haven't tried the food before, you can have fun seeing what suits you.

Volunteer together. While this might not seem like the ideal first date, nothing bonds people more than a little selfless act of love for people in need. With all of the tornadoes, floods, and other events that have affected our country, there are plenty of opportunities.

Open mike night at the local coffee house or bar. While you may not have done this since college, it's a fun and inexpensive way to spend an evening. For those of you who are more daring, get up on stage and recite that poem you wrote ten years ago or tell your favorite joke. It breaks the ice.

Happy dating on the cheap!

When my dating life wasn't going well or I'd just come from a bad date, I liked to discuss it with my friends. Together, we'd analyze and rationalize why I was the perfect date and the man was...not. Or we'd commiserate over the fact that there were no good single men out there for us.

While it cheered me up to think that it wasn't my fault that my dating life was disappointing, this wasn't true. I chose to make excuses like: "I keep meeting unavailable men," or "the good ones are all taken." This allowed me to hide for a while and shut down my online dating profile, or blame the men I was meeting for being a constant source of disappointment. I convinced myself that he wasn't "out there," which only made it harder for anyone to think about dating me.

Instead of lamenting over the fact that you're not meeting anyone special, or maybe anyone period...it's time to try something different. There are a lot of single men out there, and following are some tips on how to keep yourself ready to meet them:

Regain a positive attitude. Nothing turns a man off more than being judged quickly. If you think that men you meet are players, or dull, or not successful, or too serious, or anything else that may disqualify them from dating you, stop. Instead of listing negative attributes when you meet someone (because honestly, you don't really know them and have no cause to judge), keep an open mind. Give all the men you meet a real chance. Then watch your opportunities multiply.

Optimize your online search. Get a friend to help you with your profile and pictures so that your best self shines through. Have some personality in your description, and show potential matches what your interests are (biking? Stand-up comedy? Cooking?). They don't want a laundry list of what you don't want, so leave that out. Focus on what you're passionate about. That's always attractive.

Go where the men congregate. Networking events are a good way to meet single men, as they like to get new business contacts in addition to meeting women. Happy hours are also good---sports bars or restaurants in close proximity to downtown/ work areas are best. Don't be afraid to circulate. If you're shy, get a friend to go with you to help you introduce yourself.

Relax. This is most important, because if you're on a mission to find a boyfriend or husband, or even just to hook up, men sense it and run for the hills. Instead of putting so much emphasis on the end result and constantly asking yourself, "is this guy worth my time?" relax and get to know him. It's never a waste of time to engage with someone. Even if he isn't right for you, he can teach you something. These lessons do help us prepare for meeting someone special...because they help us know what we truly want.