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How Do I Choose an Online Dating Site?

eHarmony
  • Thursday, May 08 2014 @ 06:59 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 2,224

Many singles have tried at least one online dating site. Some have found success right away while others get frustrated and wonder why they decided to try online dating in the first place. Unfortunately, many people don’t know all of the options available, or one dating site might work better for them than another.

There is a lot of competition among online dating sites, but most people flock to the few they know, like Match.com. But it’s important to first ask yourself before you sign up: what do I want out of my dating experience?

People date for different reasons, and the same goes for online dating. Not every member is interested in finding a long-term relationship. So it’s good to ask yourself if you just want to date and have fun, or if you’re looking to meet someone special and settle down. Your intention is an important part of your dating experience.

Next, you have to know yourself. Are you very shy? Are you more at ease on a date where you’re doing something together rather than sitting across the table from each other? Or are you really confident and slightly intimidating? Do you know what you want and you’re not afraid to say it?

People date differently – some go into it like a job interview, asking questions and checking boxes off of their “must-haves” list. People place importance on different things – like religious beliefs, career, location, or even how close you are with your family. Others are a little less choosy, and go from date to date unsure of what they want but recognizing that they aren’t meeting the “right one.”

This is why it’s important to ask yourself these questions. From there, you can try a few different dating sites to see what’s right for you.

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then eHarmony or Chemistry are your best bet. They have a significant number of members to choose from, and you have to go through a pretty rigorous and time-consuming sign-up process before you can search through matches. So from the start, people on the site are a little more serious than your average online dater. But I would also suggest Christian Mingle or a niche dating site if you have particular beliefs that are most important to you when looking for a partner. Again: know yourself and what you want.

If you’re looking to dip your toe back in the dating pool after a long absence, but aren’t sure if you want a long-term relationship, then sites like Match and OkCupid are a little less intense than the relationship-focused sites. They also have a large subscriber base and so you can meet a variety of people. Keep your options open if you’re unsure. Date outside of your “type.”

I suggest trying two or three sites and seeing which format you like best. Most sites offer a free trial period so you can at least set up a profile and check matches. It’s worth the time to really look and see what’s right for you.

Is Facebook Becoming an Alternative to Online Dating?

eHarmony
  • Sunday, May 04 2014 @ 09:48 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 2,663
Online dating has become a typical way to meet people outside of your own social networks. In fact, the majority of people have tried it at least once.

But what about the opportunity to connect via social media? Most people have a Facebook or Twitter account, and they contain a wealth of information about what we like, who we are, who are friends are, and what we do. The natural progression of social media is to harness this information and look to who might benefit from it – including online daters.

In fact, eHarmony released a study recently which found 7% of people who married after meeting online had met for the first time on social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace and ClassMates – not through matchmaking chat rooms, online dating sites or other romance-based online connections.

In an article in Time Magazine, Jeffrey Hall, associate professor of Communication Studies at University of Kansas, decided to investigate this connection. He wanted to learn more about who was meeting their significant others through social media, and how well these marriages fared.

He surveyed over 19,000 people who had been married between 2005 and 2012, and asked them how they’d met. Those who met on social networking sites were more likely to be younger and married more recently compared to those who met online in other ways. He was surprised to find that those who met via social networking sites were just as happy as those who met online, and those who met online in general were happier than those couples who met in more traditional ways, such as through friends.

Social networking sites have potential advantages over online dating sites, Hall noted. For one, you can meet people through networks of friends, which means there is some connection first. This puts many people – especially women – more at ease. Also, people are more likely to represent themselves in an honest light over Facebook, because their friends are reading their posts and making comments. You get a more complete view of the person you’re meeting – where she likes to eat, what TV shows she watches, what she does for a living. A Facebook page is a little more personal than an online dating profile.

Another interesting finding in the study was that most of the marriages resulting from social media connections were among African Americans. Hall attributes this to the fact that African Americans and Latinos were over-represented on social networking sites between 2005 and 2012, and use social networks to engage with their already close network of friends.

Social media is an important part of making romantic connections, and is growing in popularity every day. Maybe it’s time to check Facebook if you want to meet someone new.

Is Privacy a Thing of the Past When it Comes to Online Dating?

eHarmony
  • Wednesday, April 23 2014 @ 07:08 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,394

We’ve been warned of scandals when it comes to online dating. Some people post fake profiles and create stories of financial hardship to extract money or financial information from other users, hoping to cash in on someone’s vulnerability or desire for love. This can compromise our security, but it’s within our control to not respond or to report the abuse. But what about the information we voluntarily offer without even knowing how it will be used?

Mobile dating and location-based apps operate and match you with others according to where you physically are, which means they need to collect data from you, usually through your phone’s GPS. But then what happens to the information? Is it used only for matching purposes to benefit the users of the site, or are companies using this valuable information in other ways?

New legislation aims to protect users from themselves and the online dating sites who collect location and other personal information. Senator Al Franken is leading the charge, advocating for more privacy for users.

"This stuff is advancing at a faster and faster rate, and we've got to try and catch up," Franken tells USA Today. "This is about Americans' right to privacy and one of the most private things is your location."

Considering how many people have used online dating sites – a recent Pew report indicated 38% of singles – it makes sense that companies offering services for daters operate with security and privacy in mind. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize how much information they are voluntarily sharing when they sign up and post photos on their phone.

Members also might not realize what information a dating website or app is collecting about them and their social media networks, say if a Facebook login is used to sign up. Though most companies will outline what information they can collect about you and your friends, the fine print is often overlooked by users just trying to download and check out a new app.

A few states require online dating sites to disclose whether they conduct criminal background checks on members, including Illinois, New York, New Jersey and Texas. eHarmony, Match, and Sparks Networks signed an agreement with the California District Attorney’s office in 2012 to check subscribers against national sex offender registries and provide a rapid abuse reporting system for members. Security precautions are being taken to protect users, but legislators like Al Franken and privacy advocates don’t think it’s enough.

Rainey Reitman of the San Francisco, Calif.-based Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit that advocates for user privacy amid technology development, told USA Today: "People don't realize how much information they're exposing even by doing something as slight as uploading a photograph. Many online apps are very cavalier about collecting that information and perhaps exposing it in a way that would make you uncomfortable."

How Would You Describe Yourself on eHarmony? Here’s Why it Matters.

eHarmony
  • Monday, March 31 2014 @ 06:49 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 2,607

Are you passionate and romantic? Or do you consider yourself more rational and perceptive?

A new study came out from statistician, researcher and computational biologist Emma Pierson, who dug into some eHarmony-released data to produce some interesting findings. Apparently, the adjectives you use to describe yourself on the eHarmony site influences who you are matched with.

The study pointed out that many people tend to use the same adjectives together to describe themselves. For instance, if you call yourself passionate likely you also use the term romantic. If you describe yourself as intelligent you probably would agree that you’re also rational or perceptive.

Based on these adjective groupings, Pierson found that there are five basic types of eHarmony daters: The Romeos (passionate), the Spocks (intelligent, rational), the Snow Whites (sweet, quiet), the Teddy Roosevelts (optimistic and energetic), and the Hufflepuffs (hard working and loyal).

According to the study, most people will identify with one of these groups more than the others, and tend to use adjectives that describe them together – such as dependable and hard-working. This matters to eHarmony because it also determines who to match you with based on these adjectives.

The most striking observation from the data she collected: women tend to be matched with men who are in the same grouping – in other words, Teddy Roosevelts tend to go for other Teddy Roosevelts. There are two exceptions however: Spock women seem to have a thing for Romeo men (opposites attract?), and Hufflepuff women get matched up with Snow White men.

For the men, it lines up pretty closely as well. Though the majority of male members get matched up with women in their same category, Romeo men pair up with Spock women fairly often too. (Good to know that a passionate man likes a smart woman – maybe she keeps him reigned in?) Also, Snow White men tend to go for the loyal, dependable Hufflepuff women.

Where do you fall on the chart? Are you the rational dater, who carefully examines all the evidence before deciding whether or not to fall in love? Or are you easy-going and optimistic, assuming that when you meet the right person, things will work out, so you don’t sweat the small stuff?

There’s some truth to matching based on how you see yourself, because eHarmony claims that their members have longer lasting marriages and relationships than those who met on other dating sites. Mostly, it’s interesting to see that in the end, similar and complementary feelings, approaches and personality traits do tend to attract each other.

Does Anybody Care About Valentine’s Day Anymore?

eHarmony
  • Tuesday, March 25 2014 @ 06:50 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,887

Confession: I’m one of those irritating people who, every February, talks about how Valentine’s Day is a crock of you-know-what because it shouldn’t take a special, sickeningly sweet, Hallmark-y holiday to remind you to love your partner. Every year it gets hipper to hate on Valentine’s Day, to the point that the scales almost seem poised to tip back in the other direction. In 2015, will the cooler-than-thou kids have to start celebrating V-Day instead of condemning it? What a strange world that would be…

Though the anti-Valentine’s Day forces are loud, it seems that most of us are secretly celebrating anyway. eHarmony asked 3000 people if they had plans for Valentine's Day 2014 and about 64% of them said that they would be spending the holiday with someone special. Here’s what they had planned (or not):

  • 17% of people said they had not planned anything at the time of the survey (which was done only three days before Valentine's Day!).
  • 6% said they had put a lot of planning into the event.
  • Most people, unsurprisingly, fell somewhere in the middle – they’d put at least a little bit of thought into the holiday, but weren’t going all-out.
  • Men were the romantics of the bunch. While women were more likely to say they had done very little to no planning at all, men were more likely to say they had done a fair amount of planning or a lot of planning for their valentine.

Good news for married folks: marriage may get a bad rap for dulling the spark, but the damage – at least where Valentine’s Day is concerned – is seriously overstated. Couples who were dating exclusively were most likely to have plans, at 89%, but at 82% married couples weren't far behind. Couples who were engaged were the least likely to have made any plans, perhaps because they’re too busy planning their weddings.

When the big day finally arrives, here’s what we’re up to:

  • 37% of people head to dinner with their honeys.
  • 26% prefer a romantic dinner in.
  • 18% skip the dinner half entirely and go straight to a movie date.
  • 71% of people plan to give their valentine a gift (79% of men, 65% of women).
  • Women ranked their gift preferences like this: flowers (17%), jewelry (16%), intimacy (17%), a card (12%), and a spa day (11%).
  • Men voted strongly in favor of intimacy as the ideal Valentine's Day gift (40%), but next in line was a card (11%).

And for all the naysayers, eHarmony also found that the biggest reasons people say they celebrate Valentine's Day are romance, connection, and genuine enjoyment of the holiday.

eHarmony Integrates Datebook into their iPhone App

eHarmony
  • Monday, March 24 2014 @ 07:05 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 2,024

Good news for single Apple fans: eHarmony has added a new feature to its iPhone app for version 4.1.

The app feature, called Datebook, is designed to help users plan, manage, and track their dates with anyone. Yes, that's right, I said anyone. Your date doesn’t even have to be an eHarmony member for you to use the app to keep track of them.

Vanessa Petrosky, Mobile Product Manager for eHarmony, says that “Datebook is the first eHarmony feature to be released on a mobile platform before launching on eHarmony’s desktop website.” As mobile usage grows, and with it the demand for mobile access to just about everything we do online, eHarmony is doing its best to provide resources to simplify and enhance the dating experience.

“Our customers have loved the eHarmony app for checking their matches on the go,” continues Petrosky, “and now with Datebook as a companion, singles will be able to schedule details for each date, bridging the online and offline dating experience.” And that’s not all – Datebook also helps singles make better decisions about who to date by doubling as a diary in which users can record their personal dating history and private ratings. “This new feedback feature also allows eHarmony to take the data into account and provide ever-better results for its users,” Petrosky adds.

Highlights of Datebook include:

  • Add anyone: Add both eHarmony matches and people you’re dating outside of eHarmony to your Datebook contact list.
  • Calendar sync: Any dates you enter are automatically synced to your iPhone calendar.
  • Foursquare integration: Search for locations and get invaluable info provided by Foursquare, including photos, phone numbers, addresses, dollar ratings, and tips from other Foursquare users.
  • Date history: Save all of your date details plus any private info you want to remember about your companions.
  • Rate your dates: Privately rate who you're dating and where you're going. eHarmony will use the data in the future to suggest great date ideas tailored specifically to your tastes and interests.
  • Date questions: At a loss for what talk about on the first date? Your iPhone to the rescue! Save your icebreaker questions to your Datebook Favorites, so you never run out of conversation ideas.

Datebook is free to all eHarmony users who register and complete the relationship questionnaire. And, of course, any information entered in Datebook is confidential and will not be shared with any of your matches. Want to give it a whirl? You can find the regular eHarmony app in iTunes here. Once you have completed the personality profile you will have access to the Datebook.

For more information on this dating site please read our eHarmony review.

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