Advice

As much as we all wish it would go away (this is 2012, after all!), online dating still hasn't managed to break free from the last, lingering vestiges of social stigma. Most of us are fully onboard the online dating boat, but for those stick-in-the-muds who are still holding out, the Internet has provided other options.

Yes, you can date online without actually dating online.

The secret is social media. Your Facebook page, your Twitter stream, your Pinterest account...each one is an opportunity to date on the World Wide Web without actually joining an online dating site. Barbara Maldonado recently spoke with the Huffington Post about her experience of foregoing traditional online dating in favor of a more social strategy.

Maldonado met her fiancé, Russell Roering, during a "Tweetup," a real-life meetup event organized via Twitter. "It was a book signing by Chris Brogan, who wrote this social media book, 'Trust Agent,'" she told HuffPo. "So we had that in common."

Many people have tried online dating, but most are still resistant to try speed dating. Something about spending only five minutes trying get to know your date before moving on to the next makes some people anxious, and I can't blame them. That's so much pressure - how can you possibly get to know someone in that small amount of time?

Since I spent six years as a speed dating host, I saw a lot of great people get completely overwhelmed and frustrated by the experience. But the problem was not with speed dating itself, or with the people who attended. The problem was that people approached it the wrong way, with unrealistic expectations.

While it seems like an easy concept - meet 15-20 people in one night in a series of mini-dates, see if you click, and if so, go out on a real date - it's not that simple. In real life, there aren't many places we go where we see someone across the room and instantly connect. Many people come to speed dating expecting this type of love at first sight. And they leave disappointed because they met a roomful of decent men or women, but none that make them swoon.

Instead of looking at speed dating as a chemistry test, I advise you to keep an open mind. Just because there's no love at first sight doesn't mean you shouldn't date someone who piques your interest or who you had a fun time talking with. Quite the opposite. Go out and give it a chance. Then you can make a more informed decision about whether or not you want to spend more time together. If you don't click romantically, then you've added a new friend to your network. I met several friends this way and was invited to a lot of parties, where I did eventually meet men that I dated. Speed dating is a great way to expand your social network.

For some people, speed dating means forced conversation, which isn't the best way to flirt and attract someone to you. Some of my clients would list off their attributes like they were in a job interview and had three minutes to sell themselves. This is not an effective way to engage. Women like to feel connected, so ask questions and engage her in conversation rather than just talking to her and you'll have more success.

It's also good to recognize that the same old questions get boring when asked over and over again. Many speed daters approach each other like they are at a cocktail party where they don't know anyone, asking the polite questions of "where are you from" or "what do you do?"

Instead of taking the traditional route, start to think outside the box. If you want to keep from falling asleep or crying from boredom after a couple of dates with the same stale questions, you have to think differently and mix things up. Ask one date about his most embarrassing experience. Ask another about what he likes to do on the weekend. And ask another what his favorite subject was in school. These are just examples - feel free to be creative.

Bottom line: keep an open mind, have fun, be creative, and don't take yourself or the speed dating process too seriously. It's a way to meet people outside of your immediate network, so try to enjoy yourself.

For more information on a two different speed dating services, you can read our Hurry Date review and our Speed Date review.

Online dating once seemed like a brave new world, the final frontier, a place meant only for singles who were brave enough to go where no daters had gone before.

But now online dating has gone mainstream. In fact, it's practically passe at this point. By the time love-seeking grandmothers are getting involved, it's clear that online dating has fully shed its stigma and become a regular part of people's love lives.

It's time for a few new innovations that bring technology and dating together. Jezebel recently had a look at some of those innovations in (the brilliantly titled)"Five New Tech Tools to Complicate Your Love Life." Here's what writer Anna North had to say:

WotWentWrong:

We've covered this site already (you can find the post here). The real question here, North writes, is "How often do you really want to know WotWentWrong?" The site may provide some genuinely useful feedback, but it's far more likely that the majority of responses will be flippant, unconstructive, or just plain mean. It sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

Nerve Dating:

Nerve Dating came about as a reaction against dating sites that place the emphasis on compatibility algorithms rather than starting conversations. Its social media-like qualities make it feel like an updated take on the online dating site, and conversation is definitely a better predictor of compatibility than mathematical formulas, but a man (or woman) cannot survive on that alone. Less superficial information about a potential date may be needed to really judge whether or not they're a match for you.

The Mural:

The Mural is a Facebook app that calls itself "a wonderful virtual expression of peace, love and happiness." That sounds pretty cheesy if you ask me, but North was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. She found the idea of a visual representation of love left for friends and loved ones "cool and potentially revealing," but wasn't too keen on the fact that the app requires access to your Facebook account. I have to agree with her on that one.

Tingle:

Tingle is a mobile app that allows users to message and voice chat with each other without revealing their names or phone numbers. There's also a location feature so you can meet up with any nearby users who sound interesting, and a feature that supposedly helps screen out the weirdos you don't want contacting you. If the screening system actually works, it's a nifty innovation that more dating services may want to consider adopting.

Moonit

If you're into astrology, Moonit is the app for you. Moonit "helps you determine your compatibility with new friends and dating prospects via the most advanced astrology algorithm ever developed." The pro? You never have to ask "What's your sign?" again. The con? Astrology and algorithms are both meaningless.

Grandparents aren't typically known for being a tech-savvy bunch, but it turns out they might know a whole lot more about online dating that you'd think.

Meet 24-year-old Kayli Stollack and Gail, her 76-year-old grandmother. Kayli is the creator of "Granny Is My Wingman" (GrannyIsMyWingman.com), a popular blog that came about after Kayli decided to take a chance on online dating and recruited her grandmother as her wingman (Wingwoman? Wing-granny?). Together, granny and grand-daughter began a quest for love in cyberspace. Kayli joined OkCupid, while Gail signed up for J-Date. "My granny and me are both single ladies looking for laughs and love in the world of online dating," Kayli told ABC News.

The blog began, Kayli says, after her grandmother told her a particularly funny dating story. "We knew it was a funny idea," she said, "but I didn't think it would get so much traction. It was a joke at first, but it got a lot of attention really fast." Readers came for the novelty, but stayed for the good advice. Like:

• Don't plan a long date. For a first date, shoot for 45 minutes and never make it a dinner date. That way you're not stuck spending hours with someone you're not into if the date doesn't go as planned.
• Don't brag about sexual technique. Save that for later, and then "show, don't tell" is a better approach.
• Make sure your profile reflects who you really are. What makes you unique?
• Don't hog all the attention. A date is about getting to know the other person, not bragging about yourself. "If ya spent 24 hours with the guy," Gail said of one self-centered date, "23 would be about him."
• Manage your expectations. Don't mistake a spark of interest for wedding bells, two kids, and a golden retriever. Take things slowly.
• Be honest, in your profile and on your dates. Being untruthful will only match you with people you're not actually compatible with.
• Have fun! Online dating doesn't have to be so serious. When Gail lost a fake tooth in the middle of the date, she played it cool and her date's response was "Please don't be embarrassed. I don't mind a bit, I'm enjoying every moment of being with you." She stayed calm, laughed it off, and won him over.
• The buddy system isn't just for kindergarten. A wingman makes everything better.

2012 is upon us, and so is an annual rush to join online dating sites in the new year.

It's known as the Holiday Effect - the 15 to 20 percent increase in online daters from December to February. Every year online dating sites experience a surge in membership over the holiday season, as singles who didn't have someone to kiss under the mistletoe or at midnight on New Year's Eve turn to the Internet for a fresh start in the new year.

There are a number of reasons that January has become such a busy month for online dating. New Years resolutions are on everyone's mind, focusing many people's attention on improving their current relationships or finding a partner if they're single. The idea of making a fresh start for the new year is also a strong motivator that draws traffic to online dating sites, as is the pressure from family and friends to settle down that singles often experience during the holidays.

"There is also the anticipated Valentines Day event which many single people dread more than any other day of the year," says Penny Russell, a spokesperson for a single parent dating site, "and this often spurs them into action and a determination to seek out a new partner before that day arrives."

Doree Lewak, author of The Panic Years: A Guide to Surviving Smug Married Friends, Bad Taffeta and Life on the Wrong Side of 25 Without a Ring, believes that the pressure to be attached during this time of year is especially strong on women. "Women still feel huge pressure around the holidays," she told USA Today, "and certainly exacerbated by New Year's - to have a date. I don't think that moment has passed."

Dating sites all across the Web experience the Holiday Effect from both men and women, from Match.com who say that their busiest season is December 26 to February 14, to PlentyOfFish.com who report a 15% spike in sign ups and a 20% increase in activity from current users during that period.

And it's not just the dating sites themselves that benefit from the Holiday Effect. As more and more members join the sites, the pool of potential dates increases dramatically, improving everyone's chance of finding love in the new year. Many dating sites respond to this trend by offering special rates around the holiday season, so if you're in the market for a membership take advantage of their holiday gift and start the new year off right.

If you are interested in finding a service to join this year, you should take a look at our list of reviewed dating sites or try our dating site search tool.

Ten years ago, if you told someone you had enrolled in an online dating service, you may have gotten a weird or pitying look. Today, hectic schedules have made it difficult to meet new people even once a week, much less several times. Like everything else in our lives, we’re starting to depend more on computers and the internet to make tasks easier. Using an online dating site, such as HaveWeMet.com, has become similar to using a matchmaker that finds dozens of women according to your specifications. This can be a fun process, but some people find it frustrating. Here are some things you need to know before plunging into the online dating pool.

Obviously, you will first be drawn to a profile by the picture that accompanies it. It is an old trick to put a younger picture on a profile, but now people are starting to use photo manipulation programs like Photoshop to make themselves look better. One piece of advice is to find the worst online picture of the person you are interested in, and assume that is the closest to their real looks. Keep in mind that people tell little white lies all the time in real life, and are more likely to do so online. Just like you, she is looking to put the best image of herself out there. Pictures are a good starting point, but remember that they may not be totally accurate. When you think about it, there really is no reason to lie about yourself online since you are hoping to meet the person in real life, but there are still a few people who are new to that concept.

If she tells you she is interested in animals, rock climbing, or art museums, see if she has pictures posted that show her involved in these activities. This adds credibility to her persona. If these pictures are not readily available on her profile, post one of yourself doing the same thing and she will most likely reciprocate by sending a picture back.

Next, readers have told us that nice girls wait for the guy to make the first move. You do not want to ignore women who contact you first, but women with desirable qualities are usually getting enough emails each day that they do not need to go out and find someone on their own. It is also important to carefully read a profile before you contact the person. The most interesting women are going to have attention-grabbing profiles that do not have the same information as everyone else. Guys tend to write the same types of profiles. Your profile, and her profile, should be fun to read and give you an insight into the personality rather than the generalities. In order to encompass all their qualities, people tend to summarize themselves until their information becomes generic.

When you respond to a profile, make the correspondence short and light. You will want to end with a question in order to encourage a response. Your conversation will begin online, so you must both move the conversation forward for communication to occur. With your first message, you are still a stranger, so avoid going on and on about how beautiful she is or how many interests you have in common as this can make her uncomfortable. Focus on one or two things you both like to do in the beginning, and move on from there.

Once you have established good communication and find that you have an online spark, you can begin discussing your first in-person meeting.