General News

Oh, Ashley Madison...what a confusing phenomenon you are.

On one hand, I am a firm believer that monogamy is not for everyone and a strong supporter of open relationships of all shapes and sizes.

On the other hand, my support of (ethical, honest) nonmonogamy has made me even less tolerant of those who don't choose to be ethical and honest about their extracurriculars.

On a third hand, my entrepreneurial spirit can't bring itself to completely condemn someone who saw a hole in the market, filled it, and is no doubt raking in the big bucks because of it. People are going to cheat whether or not I like it - someone might as well be making money off their infidelity.

Ashley Madison has been celebrating successes left and right so, begrudgingly, I think I might have to let the third hand win out. Maybe part of me is just bitter I didn't have the idea first.

In July, the infamous cheating website reached a major milestone: its 20 millionth member. And here's the real kicker: that makes its membership larger than the entire population of New York State. The 20 millionth member comes after a year of unprecedented growth for the site which, says AshleyMadison.com CEO Noel Biderman, "proves that infidelity is a universal business."

Just how universal? Ashley Madison is one of the fastest growing dating site, with one new member joining every six seconds. The dating service has also experienced an increase of over 15% in mobile usage a year and expanded to include Ashley Madison Blackbook, an app that allows affair seekers to maintain anonymity beyond emails with a private phone line for discreet texting and phone calls.

More recently, Ashley Madison is expanding its global reach (already 27 countries) to include Japan, the site's first launch in Asia. As of July 1, 2013, four days after it debuted in the new country, Ashley Madison Japan had already logged 230,000 visits and 70,000 members.

"This might be bigger here than in America," Biderman told The Wall Street Journal. "We totally underestimated the desire here." The biggest challenge the site faces now is marketing - word of mouth isn't exactly a viable option when users are looking to keep their cheating under wraps. "We're going to position ourselves as a marriage-saving site," Biderman added, "a social network for married people. I think they'll understand that concept."

A 'marriage-saving site?' If you say so, Biderman, if you say so. After all, who am I to argue with the man who proudly announced that his company has "become the 'Kleenex of cheating?'"

You think you may have finally found the one: that one special online dating profile that will take you off the market for good. You've been talking for a couple of weeks, falling for each other's taste in music and mutual love of LOLcats, and now it's finally time to meet in person.

As the big day arrives, you find yourself flooded with emotions. You're happy. You're nervous. But most of all you're excited to finally say hello to the wonderful person behind the computer screen.

Until they make an excuse and cancel. Or they don't show at all. Or they show, but they look nothing like they did in their pictures.

Most people on online dating sites are genuine, but let's face it: some are not, and the Catfish phenomenon is sending online dating right back to the dark ages when everyone was afraid to do it. Dating sites are doing their best to weed out the fake profiles and the scammers, but the margin for error is high. There has never been a good way to determine whether you're wasting your time online...until now?

Enter 'Lots of Fakes,' a new website and app that claims to take the guesswork out of online dating. Lots of Fakes allows members of all the major online dating sites to create reviews of other users they've had experience with.

"The goal is to bring a certain level of accountability to online dating," says Daniel M. of FlashInsight, Inc., the company responsible for Lots of Fakes. "It's a very simple tool that can help people navigate the treacherous waters of meeting people online. For example, if you spent a week talking to someone only to find out they are married, or posted inaccurate photos, why not share that information and save someone else a week of their time?"

Why not indeed?

Using the tool is incredibly simple (and it's all for free!). Anyone interested in getting the dirt on a date can search reviews by username and website. Those who want to leave a review enter the username and website, mark the date as either REAL or FAKE, and leave a comment to describe their experiences. Reviews can be searched and created online at LotsofFakes.com, or on the go using the Android and iOS apps.

The database is entirely user-generated, meaning that it started out empty and will build organically over time as more and more people participate.

Do you think date reviews are the next big thing? Would you consult a review before going out with someone new? Would you leave one?

Heads up, OkCupid users: the game is about to change on everybody's favorite free dating site.

The most observant OkCupid users may have already noticed a new feature has quietly appeared on their profiles. Click on your username and a drop-down menu appears with a new option: Promote Me. For an extra $2 fee, users who want a little extra attention on the site can promote themselves to fellow OkCupidites.

The feature is so new that OkCupid hasn't even released a formal press release, but word on the street is the site plans to formalize and publicize the new addition in the next few weeks. The question is: How will the introduction of a paid promotion feature alter the otherwise very democratic experience on OkCupid?

OkCupid co-founder and president Christian Rudder promises that little will change. "The idea is that we're showing you to the same people we would over time, but in a very condensed way," he told BuzzFeed. "We still only show you to good matches (high match percentage, nearby) - not just randoms." In other words, promoted profiles will always be people you would have been matched with eventually, they're just coming sooner than they might have without the paid promotion.

So how does paid promotion work? What the $2 fee actually gets you is 10 minutes of enhanced visibility. For those 10 minutes, your promoted profile is pushed to the front of the crowd in all areas of the site, like QuickMatch and "People You Might Like." Promoted profiles are not marked in any way, making them indistinguishable from other profiles. In tests of the new feature, BuzzFeed says, OkCupid found that those 10 minutes of promoted time gave users 30 times more exposure than they would have otherwise received in the same amount of time.

The jury is out on whether OkCupid's new strategy will work. Some fear that paid promotions will clutter the site's pages with less attractive users whose profiles aren't getting any attention. Others say that the exact opposite will happen. Since attractive users find it easier to get dates, supporters say, they stand to gain the most from increased exposure and will find the feature most useful.

Whichever direction the new feature goes, Promote Me is pretty much guaranteed to be a popular addition to the site. Rudder told BuzzFeed that over 2,500 people paid to promote themselves in the first 24 hours after launch, and that was before most OkCupid members were even aware Promote Me existed.

The first Monday in September is almost upon us which means the Labor Day long weekend (or Labour Day in Canada) is just around the corner. eHarmony is celebrating this last long weekend this summer by having a free communication weekend in the United States and Canada. From August 29th to September 2nd all users can communicate with their matches for free.

Most of you know by now that eHarmony has a free communication weekend (FCW) about once a month and they usually fall around the holidays. This is the ideal time because many singles are home and close to their laptop or tablet and have the time to try out a dating service. eHarmony is extra busy on these weekends since you not only get to sign up for free and take the personality profile questionnaire at no cost, but once you receive your matches you can also communicate for free. Sending emails happens after you go through the guided communication process with one or more of your matches. This process allows you to get to know your match better in a structured way that helps to break the ice once you are able to send email messages.

FCW at eHarmony does not include photos in profiles, secure calls over your phone, or skipping the guided communication process.

For more information on this matchmaking service you can check out our posted reviews of eHarmony. This service had their last FCW a couple of weeks ago (see Story).

Match.com's popular Stir events have come to Canada. A Stir event is an organized singles party that is held at a physical venue like a bar or restaurant. This week events are being held in Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa, Calgary and Edmonton.

Starting August 26,2013 Match.com Canadian members can sign up for Stir events by visiting the Events tab in the Match.com membership area. Invitation to events are sent out based on a user’s demographic information, age, and physical location.

When you go to a Stir happy hour event you know the relationship status of everyone there is single. Events are arranged and invites are sent out to members based on their location to the event and the age range the event is designed for. When you get to the event you also can connect with your mobile phone to find out who else is in attendance, what they are looking for in a match and, view their profile and photos.

For more information on Stir events you can read our page on Match.com or you can check out the press release.

Facebook and Google probably know more about you than some of your friends do.

We're all guilty of it. In this age of oversharing, we live in public. Every detail of every day is shared with friends, family, fans, and followers with little regard for privacy or potential future repercussions. We assume that the sites we choose to reveal that information to keep our data safe and confidential. It's just blind trust, and sometimes our trust isn't rewarded.

Case in point: Successful Match, which has allegedly posted the HIV and STI statuses of its customers on affiliate dating sites without their knowledge. Successful Match is now facing a class action lawsuit claiming the conglomerate broke the law and its promises of confidentiality to customers on PositiveSingles.com. Positive Singles shared users' HIV and STI statuses with 'thousands' of spinoff sites, alleges the suit, including HIVGayMen.com, STDHookup.com and Blackpoz.com.

The two female plaintiffs say they were promised "fully anonymous profiles" in a service that would connect them with other singles with the same status when they joined Positive Singles. "What it does not do, however, is disclose that there are upwards of a thousand other websites that link to PositiveSingles.com," all of which use the same database of profiles, the women say in the suit.

The suit also alleges that Successful Match created all its websites with identical formats, despite promising that each website was "unique" and "exclusive." The plaintiffs say the websites' forms were intentionally designed to prevent the majority of members from ever seeing the Terms of Service. The Terms of Service could not be printed, and instead could only be obtained by personally contacting SuccessfulMatch.com to request a copy.

The provisions in the Terms of Service gave Successful Match.com the right to share all user profiles created on PositiveSingles.com. They also granted Successful Match the rights to all information entered in the site and gave the conglomerate permission to share the profiles.

The Positive Singles homepage now includes a disclaimer, but it's unclear when the disclaimer was posted:

PositiveSingles is part of a network of affiliated sites serving persons who are STD positive. Please see our Privacy Policy for details of how user profiles are accessible to others in the network.

Currently, the lawsuit seeks class certification, restitution, declaratory judgment, a permanent injunction against the defendant's business plan and collection of fees, and compensatory and punitive damages.