Tips

For me, the most nerve-wracking part of a date is thinking about it before it even starts. I used to wonder what each new guy would think of me, what I would say, what he'd be like. When I finally met him, usually things fell into place and it wasn't so scary.

To save you some of this angst that I felt, I've created a list to help you prepare - mentally and physically - before that next date. It's good to be prepared, because you never know when the right one will come along - and don't you want to feel ready?

Dress for success. Ok, this may seem like a no-brainer, but lots of people neglect it. Don't show up in jeans and flip flops, even if you want the person to see the "real you." Look your best and dress up a little more than you do on a day-to-day basis. First impressions are key so don't assume they don't matter.

Allow for traffic. I live in L.A., so driving was a main point of consideration for any date. I picked places that were halfway between where each of us lived, so nobody felt they had to drive too far. And I added an extra 15-20 minutes onto my commute to allow for traffic, especially after work. I didn't want to arrive late and stressed out.

Google your date. I'm all for doing a little research before you agree to meet in person. Sometimes you can find out good information, like if someone is married or an ex-con. You can't be too careful when you're dating online.

Take a few breaths - relax! If you're feeling the pressure, take some deep breaths. Tense all your muscles for a few seconds and then relax them. This will physically help remove stress from your body.

Pick a familiar place to meet. If you tend to get nervous in new situations, it's good to have some familiarity on a date. Pick a place you know and like to be, or choose an activity that you like such as biking or walking dogs. Sometimes doing an activity together takes the pressure off of sitting across a table from one another trying to come up with conversation topics.

Remember, this is only a date. This is not the time to overthink things - try your best to just have fun and enjoy the date. Save the play-by-play analysis for other parts of your life.

If it's a first date, make it short. Keep it to a coffee date or something similarly brief if you've never met. Remember, you can always stick around if you're both having a good time. (Or better yet, ask her out again.)

Most importantly - enjoy!

When the weather warms up, it's easy to be creative when it comes to planning dates. Don't settle for the standard coffee or dinner meet-up, but instead try some fun outdoor options that offer something to do. This also helps with conversation - it doesn't feel forced when you're outside enjoying an activity together as opposed to sitting across a table from each other.

Following are some ideas for summer dating to get you inspired:

Outdoor concerts. Summer offers a lot of outdoor music - whether it's a classical concert by the lake, a local band on the pier, or a jazz performance at a neighborhood park. Depending on where you live, there are usually plenty of options (and many are free) so check out your local listings.

Outdoor movie screenings. In L.A., outdoor movie screenings are a popular event, complete with food trucks and blankets on the grass. If you're lucky to have these available in your city, you should really check them out - it gives you a chance to enjoy some classic films, as well as people-watch and share a bottle of wine and a picnic with your date.

Sailing, hiking, or biking. Choosing an activity is sometimes the hardest part of planning - but you can't really go wrong when you spend time outdoors. Try hiking or biking if your date is into it, or if you're lucky to live near a lake or the ocean, rent a boat and go boating or sailing. There are plenty of activities, depending on your tastes.

Food or wine tasting festivals. These are some of my favorite activities, because they introduce you to different foods and beverages that you might normally never try, maybe even some vineyards or restaurants in your area that you never thought to visit. Plus, they are fun to walk around and enjoy free samples. Check your local listings.

Farmer's markets. These offer a great meeting place for first dates - you can go during the day and stay for an hour or so, and if you hit it off, you can grab a few items and have a picnic in a nearby park. A much more interesting option than the coffee date, because you can sample foods and people-watch while talking and getting to know each other.

Star gazing. Looking for something to do but short on cash? A night under the stars is a great choice - just be sure to bring a bottle of wine or some appetizers or take-out to eat, plus a blanket so you can look up at the sky without craning your necks. Pick a place on a hill or slightly outside all the lights of the city. It makes for a romantic evening.

Sometimes, it's easier to reach out to someone over email than by calling her on the phone. With online dating, it's an entry to communication. When you meet someone in line for coffee and she hands you her business card, email can be a great way to start up a conversation and ask her out. While I'm a big fan of speaking over the phone, it can be an intimidating first step - especially if you don't know what to say or you catch someone at a bad time. Email is often an easier and better way to start out.

There are some things to know about creating a good email before hitting the "send" button, though. If you want to have the best shot at getting to know her and eventually dating her, following are some tips to start applying:

Keep it brief. There's nothing better than an email that is concise. I have to admit if it's too long I skim over it and skip to the end. Most people don't have time (or the energy) to read a long email from someone they don't know. Instead of waxing philosophic, try mentioning something in her profile as a starting point for discussion, and ask her a few questions to invite a conversation.

Find your voice. It's easy to sound generic in an email, especially if you're nervous and trying to make a good impression. But you want to catch her attention. Instead of a subject line that says, "hey, what's up?" try something different, like "scuba diving in Catalina..." where you can mention her last trip that she lists in her profile. If you're funny, don't be afraid to let your quirkiness shine through. It will set you apart from others.

Focus on her. There's no reason to start listing all your attributes, or what you are looking for in a woman. Instead, focus your questions to better get to know her, based on what you read in her profile (to show that you actually did read it!). There's no need to be nosy and treat her as though she's under investigation - a real turn-off. Instead, be light and approach your questions like you're starting a conversation. Again, keep it brief, but focus your attention on her.

Don't obsess or confess. It's easy to feel intimacy when you're exchanging emails, even with someone you don't really know. If you feel a connection, I advise you to ask her out sooner rather than later to see if you click in real life. It's easy to let your emotions get out of control over email and reveal too much, too soon, so before you start sending off long emails every day confessing your love or asking about her darkest fears, take a step back. Ask her out. Then you can decide what to share and how you feel.

We all look forward to summer - the long days, the sunny skies, and the chance of a summer fling of course. And while it's great to be outside - watching the sunset, enjoying barbeque, or taking a long bike ride along the beach - sometimes relaxing indoors and watching a movie can inspire a little romance in your life.

Looking for a good summer movie list - both quirky and soul-satisfying? Check out some of these:

500 Days of Summer - this romantic comedy shows the heady beginning to the nostalgic end of a 500-day relationship, and how what we imagined doesn't always come to pass. Before you roll your eyes - this isn't a depressing flick, but inspirational. It shows us how relationships can change us, and make us more aware of who we are.

Amelie - a film that was especially moving to me since I was a shy girl who had to break out of my shell to date. Amelie is a woman in France who creates a visually appealing world of her own, trying to bring happiness to others without being seen, and is especially enamored with a certain man she's never met.

Midnight in Paris - a Woody Allen film set in Paris instead of New York. This heartening flick follows an engaged yet uninspired writer as he travels back to the city's artistic scene in the 1920's to find his real passion.

Love, Actually - I'm a sucker for this film, mostly because it starts off with a tear-jerking scene where people of all nationalities embrace in airports as they reunite with family and friends. But then it leads us through several story lines involving the complications of love, some with more ambiguous endings than others, but all with one over-riding thing: love is, in the end, all around us - there for the taking.

Water for Elephants - Admittedly, the book is better, but who can resist this love-against-all-odds tale set in a traveling circus in the 1930's? It's a visually stunning film, and its lessons on love and perseverance are timeless.

The Princess Bride - a classic and one of my all-time favorite love stories, mostly because the movie is, even twenty-five years later, ridiculously funny. There's nothing traditional about this classic love story between Princess Buttercup and her former servant Wesley. Enjoy it again.

Under the Tuscan Sun - This film takes place in Italy at some of the most picturesque sights so it's stunning to watch. It follows a divorcee as she reclaims her life by buying a dilapidated villa and setting out to renovate it, finding her own love in the process.

Enjoy!

When we're in our early twenties, we women can make a lot of bad decisions - especially when it comes to guys. But some of us continue to make these same relationship mistakes well past an age of knowing better, simply because we've grown accustomed to some bad habits.

Following are some red flags to watch out for when you go on your next date or are thinking of moving forward in a relationship. It's not always easy to tell when a man is emotionally or otherwise unavailable, but if you could, it saves months or years worth of heartache. How we choose our romantic relationships can show us where we might be headed in the wrong direction.

He's married/ in a relationship. It seems obvious, but don't a lot of us long for the man we can't have, the thing that is unattainable? Despite your growing attraction for a married man or his laments about how terrible his marriage is, your not doing either of you a favor by seeing him. It only leads to heartache, for everyone involved.

He keeps you at a distance. He's charming, romantic, and sexy when you're in a room together, but getting together is as difficult a prospect as climbing Mt. Everest with his crazy work and travel schedule. Don't fall for his over-worked life - a man will make time for a woman if he's really interested, no matter how busy he is. If he doesn't return your calls promptly and makes time for you only when it's convenient for him, this is a red flag and you're better off cutting things off so you can pursue someone who looks forward to your calls - and values you.

He's casual about everything. Instead of making you dinner or taking you out, he prefers calling you at ten in the evening to come over and "hang out." He doesn't want to have a conversation about your relationship, or maybe you're afraid to bring it up because you know that he would bristle. If he's not man enough to have a conversation after you've been seeing each other for a while, then this is a red flag and you should ask yourself if you're willing to settle for a relationship on his terms.

He's still hung up on his ex. This is another tough one. Maybe he showers you with affection or needs you in a way that makes you feel loved. But then he spends a lot of time dissecting past relationships or talking wistfully about the way things were with someone else. If you find yourself consoling more than being pursued, then you may want to step back and give him the time he needs to heal and move on - as well as the freedom and love you deserve.

It's easy to be in a hurry. People have demanding jobs, 24/7 access to their smart phones, and family and friends to consider. We like to cut to the chase with everything so we don't waste time, including our romantic relationships. But is this a good idea?

While movies promote the idea of love at first sight and instant connection, it usually takes more time for love to develop and for two people to be on the same page as far as their feelings. While we all like things to work out according to our own schedules, this is seldom the case when it comes to love. It's better to be open to the experience of each date and relationship and not put so much pressure on the timing. After all, relationships can't be ordered up to our demands; they take time to cultivate.

Following are some tips to find the right timing for you:

Be in the present. When you are attracted to someone, it's easy to jump ahead and think of your future together. But it's important to stay focused on the present - especially if you've just started dating. So give your relationship time to grow without placing expectations on how fast it will progress - remain grounded in the present. Enjoy each date as it happens without letting your mind get carried away with what she's thinking or where you "should" be at any given time.

Trust your instincts. It's hard to avoid advice when you're in a relationship. Everyone has their own opinion of how things should progress or work out, and friends and family are often quick to tell you to dump someone if you aren't on the same page. But is this realistic? Trust yourself in these situations - because each relationship is different. Just because your friend got engaged a year after dating her boyfriend doesn't mean that should happen for you or it isn't right. Your relationships are your own, and so is your timetable. Listen to your gut.

Don't force the timing. There's a pacing that feels right for everyone. If you take things too slowly because you're afraid you'll get hurt, you might be sabotaging your relationships without knowing it. If you expect an instant love connection and nothing else will do, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Allow yourself to breathe and set your own pace - one that feels right to you. Find that perfect combination - allow yourself to take risks to move forward, and also to slow down and enjoy getting to know someone on a deeper level.