Are You in a Rush for Love?

It's easy to be in a hurry. People have demanding jobs, 24/7 access to their smart phones, and family and friends to consider. We like to cut to the chase with everything so we don't waste time, including our romantic relationships. But is this a good idea?

While movies promote the idea of love at first sight and instant connection, it usually takes more time for love to develop and for two people to be on the same page as far as their feelings. While we all like things to work out according to our own schedules, this is seldom the case when it comes to love. It's better to be open to the experience of each date and relationship and not put so much pressure on the timing. After all, relationships can't be ordered up to our demands; they take time to cultivate.

Following are some tips to find the right timing for you:

Be in the present. When you are attracted to someone, it's easy to jump ahead and think of your future together. But it's important to stay focused on the present - especially if you've just started dating. So give your relationship time to grow without placing expectations on how fast it will progress - remain grounded in the present. Enjoy each date as it happens without letting your mind get carried away with what she's thinking or where you "should" be at any given time.

Trust your instincts. It's hard to avoid advice when you're in a relationship. Everyone has their own opinion of how things should progress or work out, and friends and family are often quick to tell you to dump someone if you aren't on the same page. But is this realistic? Trust yourself in these situations - because each relationship is different. Just because your friend got engaged a year after dating her boyfriend doesn't mean that should happen for you or it isn't right. Your relationships are your own, and so is your timetable. Listen to your gut.

Don't force the timing. There's a pacing that feels right for everyone. If you take things too slowly because you're afraid you'll get hurt, you might be sabotaging your relationships without knowing it. If you expect an instant love connection and nothing else will do, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Allow yourself to breathe and set your own pace - one that feels right to you. Find that perfect combination - allow yourself to take risks to move forward, and also to slow down and enjoy getting to know someone on a deeper level.