Tips for Successful Emailing

Sometimes, it's easier to reach out to someone over email than by calling her on the phone. With online dating, it's an entry to communication. When you meet someone in line for coffee and she hands you her business card, email can be a great way to start up a conversation and ask her out. While I'm a big fan of speaking over the phone, it can be an intimidating first step - especially if you don't know what to say or you catch someone at a bad time. Email is often an easier and better way to start out.

There are some things to know about creating a good email before hitting the "send" button, though. If you want to have the best shot at getting to know her and eventually dating her, following are some tips to start applying:

Keep it brief. There's nothing better than an email that is concise. I have to admit if it's too long I skim over it and skip to the end. Most people don't have time (or the energy) to read a long email from someone they don't know. Instead of waxing philosophic, try mentioning something in her profile as a starting point for discussion, and ask her a few questions to invite a conversation.

Find your voice. It's easy to sound generic in an email, especially if you're nervous and trying to make a good impression. But you want to catch her attention. Instead of a subject line that says, "hey, what's up?" try something different, like "scuba diving in Catalina..." where you can mention her last trip that she lists in her profile. If you're funny, don't be afraid to let your quirkiness shine through. It will set you apart from others.

Focus on her. There's no reason to start listing all your attributes, or what you are looking for in a woman. Instead, focus your questions to better get to know her, based on what you read in her profile (to show that you actually did read it!). There's no need to be nosy and treat her as though she's under investigation - a real turn-off. Instead, be light and approach your questions like you're starting a conversation. Again, keep it brief, but focus your attention on her.

Don't obsess or confess. It's easy to feel intimacy when you're exchanging emails, even with someone you don't really know. If you feel a connection, I advise you to ask her out sooner rather than later to see if you click in real life. It's easy to let your emotions get out of control over email and reveal too much, too soon, so before you start sending off long emails every day confessing your love or asking about her darkest fears, take a step back. Ask her out. Then you can decide what to share and how you feel.