General News

Sam Yagan, the CEO of massive online dating biz Match Group (which owns Tinder and Match.com), and the cofounder of OkCupid, recently participated in a Reddit AMA to, um, interesting results.

The big thing making news is his answer to a query from Reddit user jairachi: “Being the CEO of a group that discernably specialises in finding love, have you personally used any of your services and subsequently found success?”

Yagan responded with the following bit of OkCupid trivia: “None of the four founders has ever been on an online date of any kind.”

It sounds scandalous, but before you make wisecracks about about Yagan's “ringing endorsement” of his services, read his explanation: “We were all dating our future wives when we started OkC. And before that, we were basically in college where online dating wasn't really pervasive.”

Yagan had a few other insights to add during his AMA. When asked if the free model of OkCupid attracts a different type of user than Match's subscription fee, Yagan said “Each dating product attracts a different user, and "freeness" is just one component (Tinder & OkC attract different users; Match and OurTime attract different users, etc.). So, yes, Match users and OkC users are different. I hate talking about "better quality" when referring to human beings, but it is true that people who pay for Match likely have higher intent than people on OkCupid or Tinder.”

Perhaps his most intriguing anwser came in response to the question “Is online dating 'good' for society? Why or why not, and what are the potential unintended consequences of this behavior?” Yagan thoughtfully replied that he believes dating apps make society better in three ways:

1. “Undoubtedly, greater choice leads to the selection of higher quality spouses.”
2. “Technology makes it easier to meet people who are less similar (farther away, different socioeconomic levels, different ethnicity, etc.).“
3. “The ease of getting back in the dating market makes empowers people in bad relationships to leave them, knowing that loneliness isn't the only alternative to their current situation.”

But it wasn't all smooth sailing for Sam. The Reddit community felt he left a few choice questions unanswered – naturally, the difficult or controversial ones – and was none too pleased about it.

Unfortunately, Yagan didn't respond to inquiries about spam emails, Facebook linking, and fake accounts. Fortunately, Reddit responded in its typically dry, hilarious style. “So, just like on Okcupid, you respond a couple times and disappear?” wrote user orangefolders.

“That's pretty much how those dating thing work, you only respond to those you want, and the moment it doesn't go your way, you stop responding altogether,” replied MonsterBlash.

Now here's something you don't see every day: someone who's trying to encourage you to settle.

Well, it's not really a “someone” so much as it's a “something.” A dating site, in fact. And it has the eye-catching name Settle For Love.

Now, before you turn into a self-help coach and start trashing the idea, hear what it's all about. It isn't so much about lowering your standards and accepting a sub-par partner as it is about embracing imperfection.

“It all started years ago when David was sharing crazy stories he had from meeting people through traditional dating sites,” says Settle For Love's Kickstarter page. “Dates were posting pictures from 10 years ago, hiding that they still lived with their parents, neglecting to mention they hate men, and the list goes on. It seemed traditional dating sites weren't encouraging users to do anything but sell themselves. Through these comical discussions, a clear gap was identified, and our site was born.”

A prototype was launched in 2013. A user's profile included both flattering and unflattering pictures, laid out the pros and cons of dating them, and explained what they'd be willing to settle for in a partner. The hope was that happier, healthier relationships would be the result of a more honest approach to dating. Besides, as the Kickstarter notes, “someone’s 'imperfection' may actually be an attractive quality to the right match.”

Self-awareness and a smidge of self-deprecating humor can be incredibly attractive. And there's something nice about knowing that a person can admit to their flaws. You're going to find out about them anyway – might as well list them all up front, right? That way you can decide immediately if you're actually compatible, instead of wasting time with someone only to discover after months that you're not a match.

Unfortunately, the Kickstarter failed to get full funding, but the idea is still an intriguing one. If someone could do the same idea – but bigger, better – would it stand a chance against other dating sites? Are people ready to focus more heavily on what's inside, or are we secretly all shallow regardless of what we say we want? And would taking the imperfections-first approach actually improve relationships in the long run, or just make us even more likely to reject people without actually taking the time to get to know them?

It looks like we won't know for sure this time, but I'm curious to hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts in the comments.

A new crop of dating apps are positioning themselves for the needs of the ever-changing online dating market by declaring themselves “Anti-Tinder” apps. And it seems people are ready to welcome something new.

Despite the popularity of Tinder, there’s been a big backlash against this type of “hot-or-not” dating app. The world of online dating has become bigger and easier to join, and as a result, daters jump from one profile to the next, on a seemingly endless search for someone "better." In other words, daters are fast adapting an ADD mentality towards dating. The attention span of most daters is about as long as it takes to swipe left.

If you like the results that you’ve achieved through Tinder, you can stop reading this now. However, most of the people I’ve talked to like the accessibility of Tinder, but they don’t like the endless stream of matches that go nowhere beyond a couple of texts.

Enter the latest “Anti-Tinder” dating app Talk or Not. Talk or Not hides the photos of its users so matches aren’t made by looks alone. According to its release, it allows users more control by “revealing user photos piece by piece only when a conversation is mutually exchanged.” In other words, you get to see if someone is hot or not only after you have a conversation.

Talk or Not was developed by graphic designer Britney Bachmann and content specialist Garrett Shawstad, who were both online dating and wanted a different experience than what Tinder provided. “It’s an odd thing to put yourself out there for the world to see,” said Shawstad, summing up the need for more privacy and selectiveness when it comes to online dating.

But Talk or Not isn’t the first app to compete with the likes of Tinder by putting conversation before photos. Dating app Willow, launched back in August of last year, is the creation of 23-year-old Michael Brunch, who also wanted to create an app with a “talk first, reveal photos later” philosophy. “We believe the best way to get to know someone, and find out whether you like them, is by talking to them,” the app’s website states. “A good relationship begins with a good conversation.”

Twine Canvas, launched in early 2014 also hides the photos of its users to be revealed once a connection is made. Rather than focus on conversation however, it is more visually-based, encouraging users to post photos of what they are interested in and let connections flow from there. Even dating app Anomo lets users hide their photos behind avatars, only revealing what they actually look like when they feel comfortable enough with a match.

Is more privacy a good thing when it comes to online dating, or just another marketing gimmick? It’s hard to tell at this point – but one thing is for sure: you can’t tell if there is attraction with potential matches until you meet in real life. So maybe instead of all the games, you cut to the chase sooner rather than later to determine if you’re a good fit.

The rise in popularity of Bye Felipe isn’t accidental – it’s due to more and more women speaking out about unwanted or even abusive messages they receive through dating apps and online dating sites.

Online dating has become mainstream, thanks to the rise in popularity of dating apps like Tinder, which have made it easier to meet people now more than ever. However, along with all of these new opportunities (and new people joining the game) come some unwanted messages and trolls looking for a platform to vent their anger rather than connect with someone.

Most of us (especially women) have been subjected to some unwanted or even abusive behavior online. We receive messages propositioning for sex without even meeting face-to-face first, or abusive messages claiming that we are untrustworthy, shallow, ugly, etc. from men we’ve only exchanged a couple of text messages with. This can be shocking, hurtful, and even scary – turning many victims off of online dating altogether.

It’s only natural for online daters to wonder what exactly they are signing up for when they experience this kind of abusive behavior.

Unfortunately, because some people are skeptical of the effectiveness of online dating, a few abusive emails are enough to write off the whole practice. But this is the wrong approach. It’s better instead to look at online dating as a whole, rather than just its worst aspects (and worst customers).

Instead of looking at all the online connections that are positive (or even ordinary), we tend to focus on the messages that have been upsetting, suggestive, and otherwise unwanted. We dwell on the negative, confirming our fears about meeting people online. But the truth is, millions of matches are made every day with no abuse, and no fanfare either. The vast majority of matches are between ordinary people looking for real-life relationships. If we get caught up in the actions of a small percentage of trolls, we miss opportunities.

We should not ignore the problem. Clearly, online dating sites have to clean up the process to be able to filter out this kind of bad behavior. A lot more work needs to be done.

But if you want a chance to meet people outside of your current networks of friends, family and co-workers, online dating is your best opportunity. But be smart in your approach. Research different websites and apps. Obviously apps like Tinder are very popular, but that means they also attract a lot of dating trolls. If you are looking for something more serious, you might want to invest in a site like eHarmony where there is more of a screening process among users.

Don’t give up on online dating because of a few bad apples. Give it another chance. Try a new site. Ask your friends to help. These small steps should help you improve your overall experience. For more information on the services mentioned you can read our Tinder review and our eHarmony review.

Another year, another crop of studies trying to solve the problems of online dating. Maybe I shouldn't get so into them, but I can't help it. If science can help us get even a little bit closer to finding love, I'm all for it. The end of 2014 and beginning of 2015 predictably brought on a slew of new research with some interesting insights to share.

One study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found something that's unlikely to surprise you: men who post more selfies to social media sites are more narcissistic.

The research uncovered a connection between a penchant for posting selfies and four personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy and self-objectification. Narcissism and psychopathy were both linked to the number of selfies posted, while narcissism and self-objectification appeared to influence the tendency for men to edit photos of themselves online.

Are you debating joining an online dating site? You’re in luck. Now’s the best time to take the plunge.

According to Zoosk, Match.com and Plenty of Fish (the sites that arguably see the most traffic), the Sunday after New Year’s is the biggest day of the year for online dating – with more people logging in and signing up than any other time. While that day has come and gone – at least for 2015 - the excitement hasn’t. The days between New Year’s Day and February 14^th are the peak days of the year for online dating, so it’s not too late.

As it turns out, there’s something about this time of the year that causes people to make changes in their lives, or at least try something new. According to Facebook, January is the month when we see the most relationship status changes (and coincidentally when the most divorce papers are filed). On the flip side, the peak season for engagements is around the holidays, so don’t feel it’s all about “out with the old.”

Another unusual New Years’ trend – there are more conceptions and more condom sales in January than any other time of the year, according to a recent article in The Washington Post. And according to researchers, there’s a post-holiday spike in searches for porn.

While we can attribute it to the post-holiday slump, the weather, or maybe just the thought of the year stretched out in front of us, with summer months so far away – there seems to be something else going on. We want a change. We want our lives to improve. We want more happiness, more excitement, more adventure. We don’t want to feel stuck.

So when the New Year rolls around, we break up with a significant other, we decide to move in with a girlfriend, or we go looking for the right person on an online dating site. We buy gym memberships, take that pilates or yoga class, start that new diet, and in general, try to make some significant changes. The New Year gives us a chance to start again, to wipe the slate clean.

Which is why people might feel more inclined to online date – after all, it takes courage. Perhaps they were waiting for the right time or situation. Or maybe they decide this time will be different. Regardless, you’re in good company. You’ll probably run into a lot of other people trying it for the first time – or maybe the first time in a long while.

Happy dating in 2015!