Tips

Crafting a good profile takes a little time and creativity. Remember, there are a lot of people who are online dating, so the key to getting noticed is to make yourself stand out. Don't be generic so that nobody will find you offensive - because they won't find you interesting either! Don't you want them to reach out or respond to your emails?

If you're struggling with your profile, or it's not working as effectively as you'd like it, following are some common pitfalls that you can avoid. Remember, you don't want to sound cliché.

"I like long walks on the beach." My question to the person who writes this is - who doesn't? If you're trying to make yourself sound romantic, then be a little more creative. How have you acted romantically in the past? Do you like to surprise your girlfriend with tickets to see her favorite band or a drive up the coast to eat her favorite fish tacos? Or do you like to take your boyfriend to a great spot for watching paragliders sail down from the mountain? Be more specific - say what you would actually do for romance.

"Sometimes I like to go out, and sometimes I like to stay in." This describes almost every dater out there, so you can leave this comment off your profile. Same thing with "I feel comfortable in jeans or a tie." Instead of going for these generalities, be specific about how you like to spend your time - do you really get dressed up to go out a lot? Or do you spend most weekends in jeans and flip flops watching movies? It's time to be honest about how you spend your time, and not just try to please more people on an online dating site. If you do like to go out, then describe your ideal evening - including the type of place you go. If you're an avid movie buff, then talk about the movies you love and why you love them.

"Looking for Prince Charming/ My knight in shining armor." While this seems a romantic ideal, who wants to try to live up to your unrealistic expectations? No man or woman wants to be a savior to someone else. Relationships are partnerships, so try to keep it realistic.

"I'm tired of all the drama and games." This is another one to leave off your profile description, mostly because it shows anyone looking at it that you still have some resentment over past relationships. Nobody wants to be a punching bag, so likely they will steer clear, unless they themselves are drama queens.

"I like a sense of humor/ someone who makes me laugh." Again, don't we all? Saying it doesn't really convey the message to potential dates. Try your hand at a joke or sarcastic remark instead - whatever you find funny. Writers will tell you - "show, don't tell" because it's much more effective in drawing people in. It also makes it easier to strike up conversations.

Do you ever feel like a yo-yo, bouncing back and forth between dating a lot and wanting to hide away in your home and never check your online matches again? Dating isn't easy, and requires a lot of effort sometimes to meet new people.

It's great that you are motivated sometimes to join several online dating sites, book multiple dates in a week, and generally put yourself out there as much as possible. But not all of these dates are going to be fantastic - in fact, let's be honest, many won't rock your world, but might lie somewhere between bad and boring. This can be really discouraging, but the answer isn't taking a break from checking the sites and holing up in your house, promising yourself that you'll never do it again. This is a self-defeating frame of mind.

Instead of the emotionally draining and time-consuming back and forth of this type of thinking, try looking for a balance in your dating life. After all, you wouldn't work 100-hour weeks for two months and then call your boss and say you're taking a month off because you can't work anymore. No company would tolerate that kind of erratic behavior. Steady and consistent is a better idea. Same with romance - persistence is key, so keeping your batteries charged and your time more balanced is essential.

Following are some tips to avoid dating burnout:

Make a plan and know your limits. When you're feeling motivated, instead of booking up your calendar with first dates, plan for how you want to spend each week. That is, if you have a demanding job, then you know it's easier for you to meet people for coffee on Saturday or Sunday. Don't try to cram several dates into the weeknights because you'll just create more stress, which isn't a great vibe for dating. Also, be sure to include time each week for yourself to recharge. Life isn't all about one thing - whether it's work, dating, friends, or family obligations. Create some boundaries.

Know what you want. Don't waste time agreeing to date people who don't interest you in the least. I'm all about keeping an open mind, but you have to have some sense of the type of relationship you want in order to connect with anyone romantically - see how you click over email and phone before you agree to a date.

Take your time and find the right site. Instead of joining four different sites at the same time, try out one at a time and see what works best for you. Most sites offer free trial periods so you can utilize them without paying upfront.

Keep it manageable. Don't spend entire lunch hours or evenings searching through matches. Designate a specific amount of time each week to searching, emailing, and chatting with potential dates. My one requirement - online dating moves fast, so be consistent. Even if it's only for 10 minutes, try logging in at least once every couple of days.

Take it easy. Don't overbook yourself. There's no need to fill your calendar with first dates to make yourself feel like you're accomplishing something. Take your time, space them out, and enjoy yourself instead of making dating seem like job interviewing.

Online dating requires us to examine what it is we want in a relationship - whether it's someone who lives close, or has no children, is educated, or likes to travel. Some of our requirements are flexible, and some aren't. So when you're dealing with a pool of thousands of potential dates, where do you draw the lines?

Many daters want to make sure that their matches line up with what they are looking for before they even start to communicate. Since there are thousands of daters on every site, shouldn't you find someone pretty close to exactly what you want? Then why is it that you keep getting matched with the same twenty people, or get an inbox full of matches that you don't want to reach out to?

The answer is simple. People aren't custom-designed, ready to be ordered to your specifications to fit into your life just right. They are individuals with their own backgrounds, issues, wants and needs. Everyone has flaws, and they don't fit inside any box - they are all unique. So it's important to leave room for mystery and surprise - which means someone fantastic might not look like the kind of person you first thought you wanted. Maybe they live in another city that's an hour's drive away, or perhaps they're not as educated as you are and you'd rather date a PhD.

My advice is to try and set fewer limits rather than trying to find someone who has most everything you want. Some things aren't crucial to your search - here's how to choose:

Drive a little further. I live in Los Angeles, and it's a big deal to drive 5 miles to get across the highway from the West side, because it can take over an hour in traffic (which is often). But the time I spend in the car driving 30 miles to get to the other side of the city wouldn't deter me from accepting that date - especially if it meant I met somebody great, so it's important to take those chances. Same thing for people in more rural areas - try dating people from surrounding towns, even if they are further away. Expand your circles by expanding your geography.

Don't be ageist. Instead of sticking to your hard limits on age requirements, try expanding a little. After all, would you rather date a forty-year old woman who has a positive attitude and a lot of energy than a twenty-five year-old who is sullen and tired? Youth is not only about age, but about spirit. Try dating outside your comfort zone and see who you meet.

It's not just about what you have in common. Of course it's nice to share with each other if you have the same interests, but it's not a deal-breaker if you don't. Part of the fun of dating is getting to know someone else - someone who has a different career, background, education, and perspective than you. And that's ok, even better. Because you'll get to see the world through their eyes and learn something new. What's more romantic than that?

Let's face it, there's more than one way to meet other singles. And it usually involves social media.

Facebook has become a really popular way to check out potential dates. After all, it's convenient (how many times a day do you check it?), informative, and accessible. But social media has taken the mystery out of dating - it used to take a while to get to know someone's tastes and preferences, and now you have access to all that kind of information - provided she posts about it. There's no such thing as a blind date anymore if you do your research before meeting!

Because Facebook puts it all out there, you should be aware of your privacy settings and also what you're posting, even if it seems trivial to you. Potential dates could take a comment or photo the wrong way - like if you post pictures of yourself with your girlfriends getting drunk at a bar, or if you make sarcastic and flirty comments to some of your male friends' posts. Sure, it may seem like nothing to you - but to a total stranger, it might be enough to turn them off, or at least to question you.

Following are some ways people use Facebook for dating purposes - so be aware before you start friending your matches!

They see where you go. People use Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare to announce where they're going or where they've been. Unfortunately, it might mean that your matches or potential dates know what you're up to even if you want to keep that more private.

They see what you really look like. Maybe you posted your four best photos on Match.com, but you get tagged on some not so classy ones in Facebook. Don't assume your dates won't find them. If there's something you don't want them seeing, untag yourself or delete it.

They see your friends. Sometimes potential dates will search through your friends to see who else they might find attractive or want to ask out. Harsh, but true. Others will look to see how many guy or girl friends you have, or how often they comment (if they get jealous or curious about you). Instead of friending your matches quickly, I would suggest waiting until you're dating each other before you give each other access to your Facebook pages, just to avoid misunderstandings.

Advice: Don't jump to conclusions. Many people post status updates about the cool things they're doing, but take it with a grain of salt. Many times people's status updates are a lot more exciting than their real lives, so don't make assumptions about how busy someone is or how popular. Get to know them face-to-face first.

To find out more about this social network and how it stacks up when used like a dating service you can read our Facebook review.

Do you feel that you spend a lot of time sifting through countless profiles, responding to numerous email requests, or trying to construct the perfect profile? You're not alone. Many people get caught up in the excitement of searching for a love interest online - after all, there's a seemingly endless number of candidates. So how do you efficiently sort through them all so you can get to the more exciting part of actually dating?

Following are some ways to streamline the process:

Shorten your login time. Instead of spending three hours in the evening scrolling through profiles and sending out emails or obsessively refreshing your screen throughout the work day, try allowing yourself an hour, or thirty minutes at lunch to scroll through new profiles or read emails. It's also nerve-wracking to wait around for a response, so instead of checking in obsessively, choosing a time of day to login will help curb those tendencies.

Don't respond to everyone. It may seem rude, but you don't have to respond to every email you get if certain people don't interest you at all. This is a big time waster, especially since many people are sending mass emails and hoping someone responds. They will get the hint if they don't hear back. If they send you repeated emails, then send them a short response of "thanks but no thanks" - keep it brief and polite.

Outline what you want. I'm not a fan of narrowing your choices down so much that you only have a few candidates to choose from. Keep your options open - but do set some limits. Sort through your matches according to what's most important to you - whether it's a religious belief, an interest or hobby, or how far you're willing to drive to meet them. If you get too few matches, you know you're being too picky - but if you get hundreds, you might try filtering your preferences a little more.

Keep it simple. When you exchange emails with another online dater, there's no need to go into a long story about your past or try to woo her with the perfect email. Instead, keep your exchanges brief and flirtatious or funny, depending on your tendencies. You can get into the stories of your lives later - think of an email as more of a teaser for meeting you.

Cut to the chase. I'm a big fan of meeting in person sooner rather than later. Some people become emotionally invested in an online relationship before they've ever met, and then become disappointed when they finally do. Instead of letting yourself get carried away with online exchanges, ask for the other person's number and give them a call! Then (if you're still interested) ask them out.

You've gotten responses from the profile you created, and have started emailing a few matches. Maybe you've already clicked with one online, but you're wondering when to take the next step - calling and then potentially meeting in person.

My general philosophy is: don't wait. After all, the more time you spend emailing or talking over the phone without meeting, the more attached you become to the idea of dating that person. The truth is, you don't know who you'll feel a connection with until you meet in real life, so it's better to get to make plans sooner rather than later (before you've built up all those expectations).

Following are some steps to get you started:

Seize the opportunities. Most people are corresponding with several people at once when they join an online dating site, so if you wait too long before giving out your number or asking to meet, then you might miss an opportunity. Don't spend weeks emailing back and forth. Instead, after 2-3 email exchanges, ask for his or her number and make the first call.

Make the call. I recommend keeping your phone calls relatively brief, unless you are having such a good time you don't want to hang up. If that's the case, then make plans to meet before you hang up the phone. Also, don't keep exchanging phone calls - make plans to meet sooner rather than later. Don't be shy or wonder how to bring it up. You're both online dating for a reason - and usually you want to get to the part of meeting in person to see if there's chemistry. So ask! Please remember: if the person on the other end of the line seems resistant to meeting by making excuses, cancelling, or otherwise backing out of plans, it's a red flag that they may not be who they claim. So don't keep holding out for a meeting - move on.

Pick a low stress date activity. Making dinner plans with someone you've never met is pretty stressful for a first date. There's no need to go to such lengths to impress, especially when you might not even want to spend two hours together! Instead, pick a low-key environment where you can talk for a short time, like a coffee shop or bar. Even better: I suggest grabbing your coffee to go and going for a walk in a nearby park or along an interesting street. When you have places to see together, it takes some of the stress out of thinking of things to talk about. Instead, the conversation is more organic.

If all goes well, don't be shy about asking for a second date right away. There's no more "three day rule," so feel free to text and mention you had a good time and like to see each other again. Happy dating!