The First Step: From Online To In-Person Dating

You've gotten responses from the profile you created, and have started emailing a few matches. Maybe you've already clicked with one online, but you're wondering when to take the next step - calling and then potentially meeting in person.

My general philosophy is: don't wait. After all, the more time you spend emailing or talking over the phone without meeting, the more attached you become to the idea of dating that person. The truth is, you don't know who you'll feel a connection with until you meet in real life, so it's better to get to make plans sooner rather than later (before you've built up all those expectations).

Following are some steps to get you started:

Seize the opportunities. Most people are corresponding with several people at once when they join an online dating site, so if you wait too long before giving out your number or asking to meet, then you might miss an opportunity. Don't spend weeks emailing back and forth. Instead, after 2-3 email exchanges, ask for his or her number and make the first call.

Make the call. I recommend keeping your phone calls relatively brief, unless you are having such a good time you don't want to hang up. If that's the case, then make plans to meet before you hang up the phone. Also, don't keep exchanging phone calls - make plans to meet sooner rather than later. Don't be shy or wonder how to bring it up. You're both online dating for a reason - and usually you want to get to the part of meeting in person to see if there's chemistry. So ask! Please remember: if the person on the other end of the line seems resistant to meeting by making excuses, cancelling, or otherwise backing out of plans, it's a red flag that they may not be who they claim. So don't keep holding out for a meeting - move on.

Pick a low stress date activity. Making dinner plans with someone you've never met is pretty stressful for a first date. There's no need to go to such lengths to impress, especially when you might not even want to spend two hours together! Instead, pick a low-key environment where you can talk for a short time, like a coffee shop or bar. Even better: I suggest grabbing your coffee to go and going for a walk in a nearby park or along an interesting street. When you have places to see together, it takes some of the stress out of thinking of things to talk about. Instead, the conversation is more organic.

If all goes well, don't be shy about asking for a second date right away. There's no more "three day rule," so feel free to text and mention you had a good time and like to see each other again. Happy dating!