Photos

Everyone in online dating talks about how important the profile photo is. We try to act like looks don't matter as much as what's underneath – and although that's true in the long run, you're lying to yourself if you think looks don't matter at all. Picture yourself shopping. You don't purchase the products with subpar packaging; you go for the ones that look nice, regardless of which one is actually better.

Like it or not, we are all judging and being judged online. As you attempt to craft the perfect online dating profile, you'll be tempted to post the most exceptional pictures you can find. Competition is fierce on online dating sites, so the quickest road to standing out is looking the best you can, right?

Wrong, according to mathematician Hannah Fry. In a TED talk Fry discusses the mathematics of love and offers several tips for finding that special someone. Like most of life, love is full of patterns, she says. Mathematics can be used to study patterns, and therefore mathematics can give us insight into love.

“How attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,” Fry explains. “And, actually, having people think that you're ugly can work to your advantage.” She shares a graph from OkCupid that plots measured attractiveness against messages received in the last month. Immediately it becomes clear that being considered highly attractive is not a guarantee you'll receive many messages.

What matters more, surprisingly, is that you divide opinion. To make sense of it, imagine being on the other end of things. In the first scenario, you're interested in someone and you suspect other people won't be very interested in them. This is a good situation, because it means less competition for you and more incentive to reach out.

If, on the other hand, you think the person you're into will be highly sought after, you may feel less motivated to contact them. The thought of so much competition – and a high likelihood of rejection – is a strong deterrent.

So, if you use a terrible photo, people will be put off. But, if you use a photo that's too attractive, people may feel like they don't have a chance with you. The best strategy, then, is to go for something in the middle ground. You want to be attractive without looking like you're out of reach.

Fry advises to embrace the things that make you different – whether it's a scar or a receding hairline – even if you think some people will find those qualities unattractive. The people who like you will like you anyway, and the people who don't weren't a match in the first place.

The most successful dating apps are based on visuals, and typically pull your photos from Facebook to create your dating “profile.” This allows potential dates to swipe left and right, rejecting or showing interest – depending almost entirely on the photos you have posted.

Now dating app Glimpse takes things one step further. Acknowledging the power of visuals, the new app uses your Instagram account to help you find matches. That is, Glimpse reveals photos you have taken on Instagram to potential matches, so they can get an idea of your interests, who you are, and what you like.

Instagram seems like a natural fit for online dating, but Glimpse is not the first to make a dating app using visual social media platforms. Take dating app Dreamcliq, launched a couple of years ago to little fanfare, which allows you to create a “vision board” of your interests to attract potential dates - matching according to photo-based profiles. The company marketed the app as being inspired by Pinterest.

There are some challenges with Glimpse. First, if your Instagram is full of selfies, it might be a turn-off for your dates. There are only so many duck faces potential mates can handle. Same thing if you like taking pictures of your food, or your puppy, or even your hiking landscapes – a few artful photographs are great, but sometimes it's too much. Also, what does an extensive photo collection tell you about the person taking the photo, other than they like their dogs, hikes, or crème brulee?

Unlike apps like Tinder, Glimpse doesn’t match based on location, but rather through your hashtags, events, locations and other similarities on Instagram. So, let’s say you include #sunsets or #foodporn tags in a few photos – you’ll be matched with singles in your area who used the same trending phrases. Or, you could be matched with someone you met last month at a party during your work conference. In other words, there seems to be a little more flexibility as well as common interests than a typical dating app. Plus, it gives you a starting point for conversation – something that is missing with Tinder.

Another advantage of Glimpse is that you can advertise yourself through visuals – but instead of worrying about how great your hair looks or whether or not you look big in a certain dress, the app lets you tell a story of who you are through your photos.

Glimpse launched in February and is available on iTunes, but by invitation only.

For five years, Match.com has graced us with America’s most comprehensive study on singles. For this year's Singles In America study, Match surveyed over 5,600 singles of all ages, ethnicities, incomes and walks of life. Naturally, the impact of technology on our dating habits was a major topic of discussion this year.

60% of singles spend at least 1 hour a day on social media. 39% of singles’ daily conversations happen digitally. Now that we're more connected than ever, our online activity has a greater impact on our love lives than ever before. And that means some serious etiquette issues. Let's talk do's and don'ts.

Single men have the following advice for single ladies:

• DO: send photos, send sexy texts, use emoticons, check your spelling and grammar
• DON'T: text more than once before a reply, text during work hours, use netspeak (OMG, LOL, etc), use ALL CAPS

Single ladies have this advice for single men:

• DO: send photos, use emoticons, text netspeak, check your spelling and grammar
• DON'T: send sexy photos, text more than once before a reply, send sexy texts, ask too many personal questions

Unsurprisingly, selfies were huge this year. Women take slightly more, but not by much. Reasons for taking a selfie range from “to capture a moment” (65%), to “to show off where they're at/what they're doing (41%), to “to show off a good hair day or outfit (31%). A majority of people think the most attractive selfies are natural and unenhanced.

On Instagram, single women favor certain kinds of photos. Funny pictures and shots of traveling or landscapes rank highest, followed by pictures of a date's hobbies and pictures of animals. When it comes to those infamous filtered photos of food, men and women are divided. 25% of single women think food pics are a turn on, but only 19% of men agree.

On other social networks, men and women agree that liking a photo is one of the top ways to show interest (38% of men vs 39% of women). Commenting on a photo is also a strong indicator (34% of men vs 31% of women). What you absolutely shouldn't do, on the other hand, is air your emotional drama in posts, take excessive selfies, or ask a date to unfriend their exes.

And here's a fun fact: 54% of emoji-using singles had sex in 2014, compared to only 31% of non-emoji users. Food for thought.

For more information on this dating service you can read our Match.com review.

How do you create the perfect online dating profile? There’s been a lot of advice and speculation over the years, but brace yourselves – there is now a study that shows you how to create the perfect online dating profile. That’s right – it’s science.

Scientists from Barts, the London School of Medicine and The University of North Texas have discovered the secret to the perfect online dating profile. In an analysis of 86 psychology, sociology, computer, and behavioral studies, they found answers to questions that have stumped the online dating community for years. They have come up with a list of specific guidelines – from creating the perfect profile handle to the wording of your first message.

Here are some of the highlights:

Your profile handle.

Men prefer simple to complex names, and ones that indicate the person behind the handle is attractive (i.e. “Cutie” scores well). Women however prefer smart handles, ones that show the guy put some thought into its creation (i.e. "TheUniverseisVastlikemyMind" perhaps? Just kidding...). Similarity breeds affection for both sides however – if you call yourself “HotStuff” then likely the person called “SexyTime” will find you equally appealing.

Photos.

The research suggests women should have a “genuine” smile – that is, the crinkles on the corners of your eyes should be evident. The study also suggests women wear red and tilt your head slightly in your photo. Against previous advice, the science suggests you should post a photo with other people so you are perceived to have friends, although they suggest you position yourself in the center (a place of power).

Your headline/ who you are.

Be authentic. According to the study, if someone sounds strangely impersonal or looks like they spent a lot of time crafting their description, they will be perceived as liars. You should also aim to describe yourself more than the type of partner you want (70/30 ratio). Men prefer women who are “fit” but not body builder types with loads of muscles, while women prefer men who are risk-takers and courageous, even more so than if they are kind.

Descriptions.

People look for unintentional cues as well as what’s written in your profile. This is one reason why poor grammar is a turn-off – it signifies a lack of education, also a turn-off. Also, relating a story in a humorous way is a lot more attractive to potential matches than writing a general phrase like “My friends think I’m hilarious.” In other words, illustrate what you mean, instead of just saying something is true.

Messaging.

Unlike meeting in person, people tend to disclose more personal information more quickly if they communicate online. If you don't know how to start messaging a match, a good ice breaker might be: “What did you like in my profile?” – as it gets the other person thinking about you in a positive way.  Spontaneous humor also puts people in a good mood, and makes them more receptive. Don’t play the waiting game however – most people want to move quickly to see if there’s a connection.

Is it too late to be talking about 2014?

We're already into February so the answer is probably yes, but I hope you'll forgive me. Especially if I include selected stats for 2015 as a peace offering. Do we have a deal?

I'll take your silence as a yes.

Match.com knows pretty much all there is to know about online dating – seeing as it's one of the biggest online dating sites around – so when Match speaks, I listen. The site closed out 2014 with a short infographic on some of the highlights of the year (including its 6 most popular members!).

It was (unsurprisingly) a busy year. 4.8 million pictures were added to the site, and 280 million photos were liked by users. Over 5 million (5.48, to be exact) dates were made, all around the country. Users in Albany logged in more than users in any other city, but Miami singles sent the most messages. Must have something to do with all the beaches and bikinis. The users who searched most outside of their city reside in Anchorage – which may, also, have to do with (Alaska's lack of) beaches and bikinis.

On the pop culture and technology fronts, hashtags continued to take over the Internet. The most used in one profile was a whopping 44! Selfies also continued to be a dominant force in the online sphere. 5,613 Match.com profiles contained the word “selfie” in 2014. Strangely, the only thing that came close to it was Disney's smash-hit kids' flick: 5,501 people said Frozen was their favorite movie of the year.

That's it for 2014, but Match.com has tirelessly turned out new stats for 2015 – even though we're only one month in. Following the holidays, singles feel an extra boost of motivation to join online dating sites. The busiest day of the year for Match.com tends to be January 4^th, with the best of the blitz occurring at 7:52pm CST. Certain cities feel an especially strong call to post-holiday online dating:

• Columbia, South Carolina
• Baton Rouge, Louisiana
• Jackson, Mississippi

Interestingly, all in the South. What's happening down there that makes everyone rush to romance after New Year's?

And just who, specifically, is joining up this year? According to Match, the average age of single men who join the site during the busy season is 35. Match also saw an uptick in certain groups signing up in 2015:

• Single Parents: up 45%
• Singles Who Work In Education: up 46%
• Single Bowlers: up 47%
• Curvy Single Women: up 50%
• Singles Quitting Smoking: up 45%
• Singles In The Fashion Industry: up 47%

So if you're into mid-thirties Southern fathers who teach for a living and bowl in their spare time, 2015 could be your year.

Another year, another crop of studies trying to solve the problems of online dating. Maybe I shouldn't get so into them, but I can't help it. If science can help us get even a little bit closer to finding love, I'm all for it. The end of 2014 and beginning of 2015 predictably brought on a slew of new research with some interesting insights to share.

One study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found something that's unlikely to surprise you: men who post more selfies to social media sites are more narcissistic.

The research uncovered a connection between a penchant for posting selfies and four personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy and self-objectification. Narcissism and psychopathy were both linked to the number of selfies posted, while narcissism and self-objectification appeared to influence the tendency for men to edit photos of themselves online.