Tips

First dates can be nerve-wracking. It's easy to psych yourself out, or question whether you'll have a good time or if he'll be attracted to you. While you might try to solve this by obsessing over what pants to wear or how to style your hair, do yourself a favor and step back for a second.

Instead of talking yourself through the date - what you'll wear or say or do - try instead to distract yourself. It's easier to go with the flow and be truly present on a date when you're not obsessing over whether or not you'll like him or he'll like you.

Following are some tips to help you better prepare for a first date - by not thinking about it:

Make pre-date plans. If you're meeting him for a drink, ask your friend to stop by an art gallery or go to a comedy club beforehand. Pick something that you find interesting. You'll be distracted by the event and getting to hang out with your friend. And you'll also have something interesting to talk about on your date.

Be productive at work. If you have a date in the evening, make sure you take on that to do list during the day. The more tasks you complete, the less distracted you'll be on the date and the better you'll feel about not answering your cell phone or sending your boss a text. There's nothing more attractive to a date than your undivided attention.

Plan the weekend anyway. If you're going out on a Wednesday night, make plans with your friends for the following Friday and Saturday nights, so you have something to look forward to regardless of how the date goes. I've seen too many women reserve their weekends in the hopes of things going amazingly well on that first date. Don't fall into this trap. If your date is amazing, then you can make more plans - after the date.

Exercise. For me, hiking and biking are great ways to de-stress and helped me to release those pre-date anxieties. When your body moves, it releases stress and helps you to relax. So run around your neighborhood or lift some weights to get your mind off your date.

Listen to music. When you're getting ready, the last thing you need is a silent house where your mind can race. This is a great time to crank up the volume on your iTunes or Pandora account. Music releases stress and helps put you in a good, relaxed mood in time for your date.

Are you frustrated because you can't seem to get from emailing your online matches to actually meeting them? You're not alone. Many online daters have been frustrated with these sometimes lengthy back-and-forth communications with their matches, anxious to get together in person. But you don't have to wait around to be asked out. You can change things.

Following are a few suggestions if you find yourself in this situation over and over again:

Know your website! Online dating sites operate differently when it comes to communicating with members. Some require you to pay a fee to email even though it's a "free" site, which causes some people to drop off. This can delay meeting potential matches. Other websites have a lengthy process of answering a certain number of questions before actually being able to email or exchange contact information to set up a date. If you become frustrated before you start dating, it's not going to make for a good online dating experience!

Don't pay attention to all the rules. Maybe you've heard advice like, "you have to talk on the phone before you meet someone," or "don't agree to go out with him right away." When you're online dating, you snooze, you lose. People move on quickly, so don't get too hung up on getting a response to that one email you sent. Communicate with several people at once, and see who wants to go out, even if it's just for coffee. There's no need to be shy, and no need to date one person at a time.

The sooner you can take things offline, the better for both of you. The only way you really know if someone is right for you is how you feel around each other when you're together (which you can't assess over email, no matter how eloquent your date is). You don't want to get emotionally invested in an email relationship. Don't waste time on the phone or crafting long emails when you could be sharing the same information over a couple of glasses of wine.

Pay attention to red flags. If he delays meeting you and keeps making up excuses to cancel or put things off, this is a giant red flag that maybe he isn't who he says he is. I understand that people are busy and have to cancel from time to time, but if it's a regular occurrence then there's something else going on. It's a sign to move on.

Bottom line: Ask him out! There's no time like the present to meet your online matches and see who clicks.

Does the idea of approaching a beautiful woman in a bar make your heart race? Do you tend to freeze up if the hot guy in line next to you at Starbucks strikes up a conversation? If you're more the shy type when it comes to talking to total strangers, you're not alone. Unfortunately, this shyness doesn't help when it comes to your love life.

Meeting people for the first time requires a confident approach and a little flirtation. You can't take yourself too seriously or you'll get stuck on what to say or do.

Flirting comes naturally to some people, but it can be terrifying to others. The thing about effective flirting however, is that it is a learned skill. With some practice and courage, anyone can become an expert - or at least be able to approach someone attractive with confidence.

The first step in acquiring this skill is to practice. You might fail many times, but the trick is to learn what went wrong and try to do it better the next time. Following are some steps to take in practicing your flirting skills:

Gather your support system. If you need a friend to accompany you and build your confidence, then do it! If you prefer to hire a professional matchmaker who can take you out and show you what to do, then don't hesitate. The key is starting with the appropriate mindset and having a good support system in place to help you along.

Make the first move. Nothing will happen if you don't put your fears aside and have a little courage. Remember to think of flirting as practice for dating. You're not looking for the love of your life, you're improving your skills. The more you gather your courage and approach new people, the less the experience will intimidate you and the better you'll be at it.

Don't fear rejection. Of course when it comes to love and attraction, not everyone clicks. So don't take it to heart if someone isn't into you. Just politely excuse yourself and move on to someone else. There's no point in being embarrassed. Rejection happens to all daters, male and female alike, so don't take it personally.

Don't over-think what you're going to say. You've gotten past the first approach and have a woman's attention, but now you don't know how to carry the conversation. Instead of racking your brain or panicking about what to say next, remember - this is just practice. Keeping the exchange light and fun involves you not overthinking everything. If you say something you regret, just make a joke about it and move on. Or try again with the next person you meet. Take the pressure off.

Practice makes perfect. The old adage is true. The more you practice your flirting skills, the better you'll become. So don't sweat it.

Tired of dating the same kind of man, over and over again? Do you want to clear out those old cobwebs in the closet - the relationship patterns you keep repeating? There's no better time to wipe your relationship slate clean than now.

Following are some simple steps you can take to purge those bad habits and start dating people who are better relationship material for you. It just takes a little work - so roll up those sleeves:

Make a list of past relationships, and what didn't work. Are there any common denominators - like did your exes disrespect you, or put themselves first, or were they all a little bit immature and needy? Whatever the case, look for what they had in common. Then ask yourself what you could have done differently in each case. While you might scream "they were hopeless!" you might also wonder why you didn't speak up sooner when your needs weren't being met. Or maybe you didn't communicate so much as nagged and complained to them about how they were treating you. Understanding these kinds of mistakes can help you choose healthier behaviors going forward into your next relationship.

Envision the right relationship. Notice I didn't say "envision the right guy." Too many of us are taught to make a list of all the traits we want in our "perfect partner," but this is misleading. Really, the most important thing to know is how you want to feel in a good relationship. Do you want to feel loved, respected, understood? Are these things more important than being with a guy who's good-looking, smart, or successful? While it's great if your man has stellar qualities, it's divine when you feel the relationship is right.

Follow your own path. Too many of us worry and compare ourselves to others. We think that if our friends are in relationships, having kids, etc. that we have to follow suit. But everyone has her own path, and it shouldn't be rushed or second-guessed. If your life isn't lining up with how you planned, try something new that makes you happy. Take up a new sport, or join a cooking class, or go on a hiking trip. It's better to nourish yourself more instead of comparing your life to others. There's no one perfect path or formula - that's what makes life so interesting, and so full of possibilities. There's always time to reinvent yourself.

Lighten your load. Don't take your love life so seriously all the time. Much of it is a learning experience, so it's better to look back and laugh than wonder what you were thinking. Be easier on yourself - no more punishing. Instead, tell yourself that you are an original work-in-progress, and you are learning what you do and don't want in your life and what makes you happy.

Valentine's Day can be stressful, especially if you find yourself single and wanting a relationship. All the hearts, cards and flowers can be a little much, and you long for February 15th when everyone has moved on to something else.

But Valentine's Day isn't always the romantic utopia for couples you might envision. After all, many people who do have relationships find this day stressful in a different way. They wonder whether they should exchange gifts if they just started dating, or if they are expected to spend a lot of money on a fancy dinner they can't afford. So instead of celebrating (or stressing) about what to do or the lack of love in your life, remember that there's always time for that with a future relationship. This year, it's time to celebrate being single. Here's why:

The men you can meet. You can go with your other friends to a bar and guarantee yourself prime access to single men. All the taken ones are with their significant others on Valentine's Day, so have fun and circulate---the more people you meet the better.

Getting together with the girls. Not that we need an excuse, but Valentine's Day is the perfect time to get together with your single girlfriends and make a night of it. Book a table at a romantic restaurant and show the couples around you how much fun you can have, if you're feeling a little cheeky.

No pretending to like a gift. Remember your last boyfriend who gave you a graphic novel for Valentine's Day, thinking it was the height of romance? Well, you don't have to fake that you like it anymore. Instead, why not treat yourself to a piece of jewelry or candy that you actually do like?

Freedom to do what you want. Would you like to sit in your pajamas and watch movies all night? Or book a spa appointment to get a hot stone massage? Or maybe you want to head to a local winery and do some tastings with a friend. It doesn't matter, you can do whatever you want, without having to consult anyone. That's freedom.

Celebrate the end of your past relationships. Remember, you're not dating that guy anymore - the one you were with last Valentine's Day! Instead, you're moving on and meeting new men who are a better match for you. Your past is behind you, and you don't have to revisit it again. Isn't that a relief?

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's the beginning of the year, which means it's time to revise those old dating profiles and go for something new and different.

A good profile starts with enticing pictures, since they're the first thing people look at when browsing for dates. After all, in any romantic relationship there is physical attraction to consider. Not everyone's taste is the same, so if you feel like you lack in one area (like your height), make up for it in pictures by emphasizing those gorgeous blue eyes.

Following are some tips to help you choose the best photos - and attract the best online dating candidates to you:

Learn guitar. This may sound silly, but a recent study conducted by researchers at Tel-Aviv University and Ben Gurion University found that women were more likely to respond favorably to a picture of a man holding a guitar than the same man with his hands just folded in his lap. Maybe you don't have to learn guitar to get some female attention, but a picture of you playing an instrument, surfing, or doing something active is a better way to ignite a conversation than posting a plain old pic.

Emphasize your distinct features. Do you hate your pronounced nose, or your bushy eyebrows? Well, time to stop hiding them and show them off! OkCupid conducted a study last year that showed people who emphasized their unique features got more positive responses and were thought of as more attractive than people with "normal" features. So play it up!

Mix up the pictures. Most people want to see your face and your body type, so be sure to include headshots and full body shots. You don't have to post a dozen, but try to post more than one photo.

No blurry or old photos. How many times have you met someone and felt that she didn't look at all like her pictures? So don't be that person. Even if you think you look the same as you did five years ago, you don't. Have a friend take pictures of you now if you don't have anything more recent. Make sure photos are clear and of good quality - you don't want anyone guessing about you.

No photos with friends and exes. Maybe you really like that picture from last year when you were in Mexico with your girlfriend. But don't use it in your online photo. Same with that shot of you with all your buddies. Don't add to the general confusion when you're online dating - daters want to know who they will be meeting (you or your hot friend?), and they don't want to see who you've dated in the past.

Happy dating in 2013!