Getting to that First Date – Offline

Are you frustrated because you can't seem to get from emailing your online matches to actually meeting them? You're not alone. Many online daters have been frustrated with these sometimes lengthy back-and-forth communications with their matches, anxious to get together in person. But you don't have to wait around to be asked out. You can change things.

Following are a few suggestions if you find yourself in this situation over and over again:

Know your website! Online dating sites operate differently when it comes to communicating with members. Some require you to pay a fee to email even though it's a "free" site, which causes some people to drop off. This can delay meeting potential matches. Other websites have a lengthy process of answering a certain number of questions before actually being able to email or exchange contact information to set up a date. If you become frustrated before you start dating, it's not going to make for a good online dating experience!

Don't pay attention to all the rules. Maybe you've heard advice like, "you have to talk on the phone before you meet someone," or "don't agree to go out with him right away." When you're online dating, you snooze, you lose. People move on quickly, so don't get too hung up on getting a response to that one email you sent. Communicate with several people at once, and see who wants to go out, even if it's just for coffee. There's no need to be shy, and no need to date one person at a time.

The sooner you can take things offline, the better for both of you. The only way you really know if someone is right for you is how you feel around each other when you're together (which you can't assess over email, no matter how eloquent your date is). You don't want to get emotionally invested in an email relationship. Don't waste time on the phone or crafting long emails when you could be sharing the same information over a couple of glasses of wine.

Pay attention to red flags. If he delays meeting you and keeps making up excuses to cancel or put things off, this is a giant red flag that maybe he isn't who he says he is. I understand that people are busy and have to cancel from time to time, but if it's a regular occurrence then there's something else going on. It's a sign to move on.

Bottom line: Ask him out! There's no time like the present to meet your online matches and see who clicks.