Spring Clean Your Love Life and Find New Relationships

Tired of dating the same kind of man, over and over again? Do you want to clear out those old cobwebs in the closet - the relationship patterns you keep repeating? There's no better time to wipe your relationship slate clean than now.

Following are some simple steps you can take to purge those bad habits and start dating people who are better relationship material for you. It just takes a little work - so roll up those sleeves:

Make a list of past relationships, and what didn't work. Are there any common denominators - like did your exes disrespect you, or put themselves first, or were they all a little bit immature and needy? Whatever the case, look for what they had in common. Then ask yourself what you could have done differently in each case. While you might scream "they were hopeless!" you might also wonder why you didn't speak up sooner when your needs weren't being met. Or maybe you didn't communicate so much as nagged and complained to them about how they were treating you. Understanding these kinds of mistakes can help you choose healthier behaviors going forward into your next relationship.

Envision the right relationship. Notice I didn't say "envision the right guy." Too many of us are taught to make a list of all the traits we want in our "perfect partner," but this is misleading. Really, the most important thing to know is how you want to feel in a good relationship. Do you want to feel loved, respected, understood? Are these things more important than being with a guy who's good-looking, smart, or successful? While it's great if your man has stellar qualities, it's divine when you feel the relationship is right.

Follow your own path. Too many of us worry and compare ourselves to others. We think that if our friends are in relationships, having kids, etc. that we have to follow suit. But everyone has her own path, and it shouldn't be rushed or second-guessed. If your life isn't lining up with how you planned, try something new that makes you happy. Take up a new sport, or join a cooking class, or go on a hiking trip. It's better to nourish yourself more instead of comparing your life to others. There's no one perfect path or formula - that's what makes life so interesting, and so full of possibilities. There's always time to reinvent yourself.

Lighten your load. Don't take your love life so seriously all the time. Much of it is a learning experience, so it's better to look back and laugh than wonder what you were thinking. Be easier on yourself - no more punishing. Instead, tell yourself that you are an original work-in-progress, and you are learning what you do and don't want in your life and what makes you happy.