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5 Tips For Writing A Dating Profile That Actually Gets Dates

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  • Monday, January 18 2016 @ 01:00 pm
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Lisa Hoehn is an expert in the art of online dating. Her website, ProfilePolish.com, specializes in giving undateable profiles a much-needed makevoer so you are still you – just a better-sounding, better-looking version. The kind that actually gets dates.

In her new book, You Probably Shouldn't Write That: Tips and Tricks for Creating an Online Dating Profile That Doesn't Suck, Hoehn shares her best advice for creating a sought-after digital dating presence. Not only does she reveal the mistakes you probably don't even know you're making, she also offers step-by-step guidance to correct them.

Read on for 5 of her best online dating tips.

  1. Pick your username carefully. Most of the time, potential suitors will ignore it. But if it's really awesome – or really terrible – they'll notice. Hoehn's biggest username no-no's include: sexual references, too many numbers, obvious bragging and your last name (because you don't need to be Googled by someone you've never even met).
  2. Ban bad photos. It's more important to have good pictures than to be good-looking. Your photos should paint you in a flattering light while offering insight into your personality and lifestyle. Images that are blurry, small, dark, grainy, edited, outdated and – worst of all – don't even include you – need to be nixed.
  3. Use the English language (or whichever one you speak) properly. Sloppy grammer and spelling mistakes are instant attraction killers. Hoehn also advises against including too many exclamation points, overusing emoticons, typing in all caps and adding hashtags.
  4. Watch your words. Certain subjects just don't belong in your dating profile. Don't insult a group of people. Don't mention your ex. Don't be blatantly sexual (unless you're using a service specifically for that). Don't talk about money or your medical history. Don't say you're looking for a “new beginning,” a “fresh start,” or something “drama-free” – because what you're really saying is “I come with a lot of baggage.”
  5. Don't go overboard. If you're one of the rare specimens who actually enjoys filling out a profile, resist the urge to pen a novel. Don't wax poetic about your favorite subjects (no one cares). Don't use too many lists. Don't make sweeping, corny romantic statements (it's cheesy and you're definitely jumping the gun). Don't share so many details about your life that there's nothing left to talk about on a date.

For more top tips from Lisa Hoehn, pick up a copy of You Probably Shouldn't Write That: Tips and Tricks for Creating an Online Dating Profile That Doesn't Suck at Amazon.com.

Could Dating App The Grade Improve Online Dating Behavior?

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  • Monday, January 04 2016 @ 03:21 pm
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The Grade

Online daters – especially women – often complain about unwanted and lude messages they get from potential matches on dating apps. Some guys are so aggressive with initial contact that they send intimate photos of themselves - the so-called “d*ck pic” - which is offensive to many women, if not even a bit scary. But there is little control dating apps have over messages between two people who swiped right and started communicating, which is why many find it such a frustrating experience.

Dating app The Grade aims to change that. Back in October, they launched the controversial “Peer Review” feature on their dating app, essentially letting other users provide direct feedback for online and offline experiences with other singles on the app.  This move was met with skepticism, with some wondering if angry and jilted matches might lash out and tarnish the reputation of someone else on the site, simply because there was no third party witness. Essentially, users could say whatever they wanted about a date.

The Grade surveyed its users to see how they actually felt about the new feature, and according to the company’s findings, 71% of people believe that Peer Review helps weed out the creeps.

Case in point: the majority of The Grade’s female users believe Peer Review provides a safer and better-informed dating experience. And according to a statement released from the company… it finally eliminates the "d*ck pics." Of the 11% of men who admitted to sending an unsolicited photo of their private parts, 90% reported that they would stop if they knew a match could review them.

Could this lead to better dating behavior – knowing that other people are watching and reviewing you?

It seems likely. The Peer Review feature provides feedback from other singles, mainly to help inform users’ decisions to swipe right or left. In fact, The Grade reports that 78% of singles are more likely to “like” (or swipe right) someone with a good Peer Review grade, while 88% are less likely to “like” someone with a bad Peer Review grade.

Ninety-five percent of The Grade’s users are pro-Peer Review, and 85% of the 15,000 peer reviews submitted so far have been positive. Results show that the most common reason a user would give someone a negative review is if that person was already in an existing relationship or lied about their profile details.

Despite the controversy, The Grade might be on to something – accountability for behavior in online dating. That is something most of us can get behind.

4 Online Dating Questions Everyone Asks (And The Answers)

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  • Wednesday, December 02 2015 @ 07:16 am
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  • Views: 1,277

Bing! Your computer's notification noise goes off and there it is: a new message in your inbox. You click it with a mix of nerves and excitement. Maybe this one, finally, will be the one that sticks.

Or not. Maybe they'll look nothing like their profile picture. Maybe they'll be “fun-employed” and living with their parents. Maybe they're cheating on their significant other. Maybe they're a con artist or a serial killer. For all you know, they could be all of the above.

That's the gamble of online dating. It's an bundle of pros and an assortment of cons, wrapped up in one package and tied with a digital bow.

You have questions. Whether you're new to online dating or a frustrated long-time dater, you've run into challenges and confusion. You want answers that will make your experience better. You want to know what’s happening behind the scenes – and your screen.

These are 4 questions all online daters wonder about (and their answers).

  1. Is anyone actually reading my profile? You've heard that it's all about the picture, that a photo can make or break your profile, because it's 2015 and no one can be bothered to read anymore. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Because of the way most dating sites and apps are designed, photos are prominent. They're what we see first, and what we use to decide if we want to explore the profile. In fact, there's a scientific reason for it: we're drawn to images over text because our brains can process visual information and make inferences more quickly. So yes, people will read your profile, but only if they like your photo first.
  2. Can I skip the photo? See above. You could omit the pictures if you're concerned about privacy, but it will dramatically impact the results you get. Few people will click through your profile and, if they reach out to you, a request for photos is likely the first thing they'll send.
  3. Can I try online dating if I live in a small town? There's no point in using online dating if it's slim pickings, right? Wrong. Living in a small town is a great reason to try onilne dating, provided you're willing to search outside your immediate area. If you're open to the idea of traveling, online dating can dramatically increase the size of your dating pool.
  4. Why can't I find someone when there are millions of possibilities? This is the other side of the small town coin. It may seem counterintuitive, but it can be harder to find what you’re looking for when you have a larger number of options. A bigger population means more people online, and those people tend to be pickier. Because they are surrounded by so many potential partners at all times, they constantly wonder if there is something better out there. FOMO is not an ingredient in any successful long-term relationship.

Tinder rejects Moments with New Update

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  • Monday, November 30 2015 @ 06:44 am
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Tinder just released a new update to its popular dating app, but decided to swipe left on its Snapchat-like “Moments” feature. The Moments feature was first offered to Tinder users a year ago, but now has been removed from the app’s latest update.

With Moments, Tinder users could share photos that expired after 24 hours, hoping to pique the interest of their matches. Moments also allowed users to stylize photos with filters, paintbrush, and the ability to write text over the image. The purpose of Moments was, according to Tinder co-founder Sean Rad, to jumpstart conversations among matches. If a match liked your Moment, they could swipe right. The app would notify you of their interest, and then you could both start chatting.

Last year when Moments first launched, Rad was pleased with consumers’ response. In an interview at tech event TC Disrupt he declared that due to Moments, Tinder had “seen a massive increase in conversations started and post-match engagement.”

News about Tinder’s latest update focused on the new features the app is offering, such as a revamp to the Profile and Inbox. The update allows users to add employment/education information into their profiles. The Inbox now places new matches in the top bar and current conversations in the lower part of the screen. There were also slight improvements on the backend with an update to Tinder’s algorithms.

No mention was made from Tinder about the absence of Moments, or that the company also got rid of its “Last Active” feature, which let users know the last time someone used the app. With the new update, Last Active disappeared as well.

Website Tech Crunch attributes the loss of Moments to the popularity of Snapchat. Likely Tinder users would just use Snapchat or other similar apps with any potential matches instead of using the Tinder feature. Plus, Tinder partnered with Instagram to let users use their recent Instagram photos as an extension of their Tinder profiles. With these offerings, Moments might have lost some traction.

Users did notice Moments’ absence however, and took to Twitter and review postings to let the company know they were not happy with this move. The most vocal opponents let their voices be heard with tweets like: “why is tinder getting rid of moments? that was like its best feature tbh.”

So far, the company hasn’t responded to inquiries of why they decided to ditch the features. Perhaps we’ll know more with Tinder’s next update. For more on this dating app you can read our review of Tinder.

Up Your Online Dating Game With Professional Dating Headshots

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  • Thursday, October 15 2015 @ 07:00 am
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Dating Headshots

Every actor knows that headshots are a key piece of the professional puzzle. Without a flattering photo, bookings will be few and far between.

Online daters face the same problem. Without the right pictures, your profile is doomed to be skipped over – even if the rest of it is perfect.

It’s standard practice to seek professional headshots for business cards, websites and even social media accounts, so why not for online dating profiles? In fact, it's becoming increasingly common for singles to do exactly that.

DatingHeadshots is a large network of professional dating photographers and profile writers working in the US and Canada. The company partners with top dating coaches and matchmakers to create a 'personal brand' for clients, enabling them to put their best foot forward online.

Here's how it works:

  1. Step One: Enter your zipcode to see a list of recommended photographers in your area.
  2. Step Two: Select your preferred photographer.
  3. Step Three: Select the package you want and schedule your shoot.
  4. Step Four: Select any add-on services you want and make your payment.
  5. Step Five: Shoot. You will shoot for 45-60 minutes. During that time, you will be able to make 2-3 wardrobe changes and your photographer will take a variety of different looks, from headshots to full body photos.
  6. Step Six: Download your photos. Within 48 hours of your shoot, you will receive a link to a private online portfolio of your pictures. Choose your favorites to save.

DatingHeadshots offers several packages tailored to a range of needs. The simplest, Silver, is available for $159. The Silver package includes a 45-minute in-studio shoot, 50 photos and 2 wardrobe changes. Upgrade to Gold ($199) for double the photos, 3 wardrobe changes, a 60-minute shoot, and the option of sepia or black and white photos.

For on-location shoots, choose the Emerald or Sapphire packages. Emerald (starting at $159) offers 50 photos and 2 wardrobe changes over 45 minutes. A 60-minute Sapphire shoot (starting at $199) offers 100 photos, 3 wardrobe changes, and black and white or sepia images.

Following your shoot, you will be emailed a link to a private, secure online proofing site where you can review your images. The link can be shared with friends and family if you want a second opinion. All photos can be downloaded directly from the proofing site.

Unsure if you want to take the professional headshots plunge? DatingHeadshots offers a guarantee to ease your nerves. If you are unhappy with the technical quality of your photos, or there is a technical issue like poor lighting or improperly focused shots, the company will either re-shoot the photos at no extra cost or offer a full refund.

Professional photos could be the boost you need to take your online dating profile to the next level. Please check out our Dating Photo Service category for other options.

Can Computers do the Swiping for You?

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  • Thursday, October 08 2015 @ 07:02 am
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When you swipe right on someone’s profile, you have a good idea of your physical preferences and what kind of person you are attracted to. Maybe you like a certain body type or hair color or height, but after that, it gets a little more complex. Maybe you like a particular person’s smile, or that they seem to have a wicked sense of humor or arty style in their photography.

While swiping is making it easier to go through profiles and accept or reject someone at whim, is it becoming more automatic the longer we swipe? Are we careful in our choices, or do we casually and without much thought say yes or no? Do we want someone (or something) else to do the swiping for us, someone who knows our preferences as well or even better than we do? It would save time and effort, but do we want to disengage from matching entirely?

At least one researcher is asking the question. He thinks we can be consistent enough in our picks that a computer can pick up on what we like and do the swiping for us. And why shouldn't this be an option?

Harm de Vries, a post-doctoral researcher at the Université de Montreal, thinks computers would make excellent choices on our behalf, and set about proving it with a recent study.

According to an article in PC World, De Vries scraped 10,000 photos from Tinder and gave a computer his opinion of 8,000 of them. Then he let the computer determine his likes and dislikes for the remaining 2,000, thinking this sample was reflective and large enough to be pretty accurate. Unfortunately, it managed to be right only 55% of the time. In other words, it wasn’t much better than closing your eyes and swiping arbitrarily.

De Vries decided to test a larger sample, so he pulled almost 500,000 photos from OkCupid. With a greater number of images to work with, the computer achieved a higher success rate – 68% - but still managed to correctly agree with only two out of every three choices made by DeVries.

Still, De Vries is hopeful that computers can assist in the decision-making process. He thinks even services like Twitter can benefit from computer learning, which is still pretty accurate even compared to human learning. "One of my friends who collaborated with me got to learn my preferences and he managed 76 percent accuracy, so even for humans it's pretty hard."

Choosing who we are attracted to is not an exact  science – we are all attracted to people that don’t necessarily have our “favored” characteristics, like dark hair or an athletic body, but they can still possess something that we find very compelling.

The point is – do we want to control our choices, or have a computer just do it for us?

 

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