Elite Singles

Senior sex may be the butt of many a movie joke, but there’s nothing funny about it. An eye-opening study by the dating service Elite Singles of 2667 Americans has revealed the sexual behaviors of the elderly - and it turns out their early bedtimes aren’t just about getting more sleep.

The survey found that 91% of over-70s considered sex to be ‘important’ in a relationship, with 33% rating it as ‘very important’. And in contrast to what many believe about gender relations in the younger generations, it’s older women who are more enthusiastic about hitting the sack. Eighty-seven percent of women think the quality of sex improves with age and experience, compared to 77% of men.

In fact, according to the study, seniors over 70 have a higher desire for sex than singles aged 18-30. Celibacy was considered less acceptable for older singles than for younger ones. While 19% of respondents in the 18-30 range said they were ‘happy without sex in a relationship’, just 9% of seniors said the same.

The over-70s were also more accepting of casual sex. Seventy-five percent said there is no need to postpone sex until a solid relationship commitment is made, a sentiment shared by only 56% of younger singles. So not only are senior singles getting it on, they’re getting it on with fewer hang-ups than the supposedly free-spirited Millennials. They’re also enjoying themselves more - 81% said sex, like the proverbial wine, gets better with age.

But it’s not all about sex. Single seniors may have been around the block (more than once), but they haven’t lost faith in love. Even after break-up, separation, and divorce, 97% believe you can fall in love at any age and 62% say cupid’s arrow can strike at first sight. Superficial attraction remains important no matter what decade you’re in, with the face, chest, and hair being voted the top 3 most attractive features in an older person.

Psychologist Salama Marine weighed in on the results of the study. “People tend to feel uncomfortable with the idea of senior sexuality because it has nothing to do with reproduction; senior sex is purely about love and sexual fulfilment,” she said. “But in a society often too associated with youth, we tend to forget that there is no age limit to desire and eroticism. We must recognise that today’s seniors have lived through society's sexual liberalisation and enjoy the same sexual freedom as the rest of us.”

Time to get grandma on Elite Singles and grandpa taking shirtless selfies.

Is the perfect partner dall, dark, and handsome? Is he a leather jacket-wearing bad boy? Maybe she’s an effortlessly beautiful model, or a geeky gamer girl.

The real answer, of course, goes much deeper than that. A perfect partner should be judged not by their looks, but by their actions. EliteSingles polled 10,000 members from around the world about how they would like their future partner to act in a relationship. Some of the results may surprise you.

Participants were asked to agree or disagree with a series of statements about the behavior they expect from their partners. According to the survey, the top five things singles would like their ideal partner to do are:

1. Share his/her concerns with me: 91%
2. Include me in his/her plans for the future: 86%
3. Accompany me to a family member’s birthday party: 84%
4. Give me freedom to have time (hobbies, interests, etc.) for myself: 83%
5. Find the time to talk to me every day: 80%

The study also delved into things EliteSingles members didn’t expect their future partners to do. Men and women gave mostly the same answers, but they expressed a significant difference in the way they expected their partners to show affection. Only 2% of women wished for their partners to show affection through sex, while men were averse to being shown affection by receiving compliments. Only 3% of men said they expect praise from their partners.

Other key differences between Mars and Venus focused on household chores and fashion choices. Fifty-nine percent of women said expect their partners to do housework, compared to 38% of men. What men were more interested in was lingerie - 62% of men said they would like to be surprised with sexy underwear, compared to just 26% of women.

As silly as some of these stats may sound, and as easy as you may think it is to write them off, expectations are essential to relationships. Standards are necessary and healthy, as long as you don’t saddle a partner with an excessive number of expectations or expectations that are unreasonable.

EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine offers this caution:

“The problem is when you feel obligated to fulfill your partner’s expectations: when you start to feel limited in your decisions or not free anymore to do what you want; or when your needs are completely forgotten to only respond to your partner’s expectations. If this is the case, then it’s a sign that there is a problem in the relationship.”

If you find yourself in that situation, there’s only one solution: communication. Discuss your expectations with your partner clearly and openly, and be sure to listen to them in return. "Good communication will allow you to negotiate and compromise,” says Marine.

For more information on this dating service please read our Elite Singles review.